Labels
by samekraemer
Summary: Bella Black is a widow raising a daughter alone until she meets someone who makes her rethink everything.   Full Summary Inside
1. Chapter 1

_**Full Summary: "Everyone has labels attached to them that they acquire over a lifetime…mother, daughter, wife, lover, friend, co-worker. I happen to have all of those labels attached to me, plus one in particular that I'm not happy about…widow. I have a daughter who never met her father, and parents who try to help me out but drive me crazy, along with a father-in-law who I take care of in the absence of his son. Along with the label of "widow" came another label that I'm not happy about and it's one I assigned to myself…crazy. The reason I'm crazy is because every night in my dreams, I talk to my dead husband as if he was still alive. I was perfectly content to live with those labels until someone showed up in my life that caused me to add another label to my seemingly never ending list…screwed. –Bella Black**_

AH/OOC. Canon couples, eventually. This is a story of a woman trying to deal with a devastating loss, so there will be sadness, but there will be humor and there will be love. There's foul language, eventual lemons, and it's told in Bella's POV. It's rated NC-17 for a reason. It's a love story at its heart, but it's not an easy one.

A/N: This is my first story on this site. It's taken a while for me to figure it out, but hopefully, I've done it right and you'll actually see the first chapter! Okay, let's get started, shall we?

_**Labels**_

_**Chapter 1**_

_**August, 2007**_

As I sat there watching all of the pomp and circumstance around the absurd event, I couldn't believe I was in the position in which I found myself. I had on an ugly black dress, which I hated, but I had no choice in the matter. Mom had forced me into it that morning, and I had no strength to stop her. I watched what was happening around me as if it was a movie, and I couldn't help but laugh a little to myself. It wasn't appropriate to laugh out loud because everyone was watching me carefully, waiting to see if I was going to cause an embarrassing scene. If he'd have been there, he'd have been laughing hysterically at me, I just knew it. Neither Jacob nor I ever wanted to be in the limelight, but there we were, front and center with everyone staring at us. He'd have hated it as much as I hated it in that moment.

When the Chaplain showed up at the door of our small house on post in Ft. Hood, I was shocked, but it was actually what I expected all the while he was gone. Every time I saw that fucking car drive by my house, I held my breath. I remembered it far too well that day as I sat in the metal chair at the cemetery, listening to the droning on of the minister that neither of us knew. I glanced around the small gathering and saw his father and my parents and the rest of our family and a few friends. I couldn't help remembering exactly what had taken place ten days prior.

"_Mrs. Black, it's with a heavy heart that I come here today to give you the news…"_ the man I didn't know began. I didn't listen to the rest of what he had to say. I knew what it was. My old life was over, and a new life was growing inside of me...a new life that Jacob would never know...a new life that would never know its father. We'd been married all of three weeks before he'd deployed in May, and I got pregnant immediately after we said "I do." We were young and carefree, and we foolishly thought we had a long life ahead of us, so we decided to shoot the dice and if I got pregnant, then we'd have the latter part of our life to party with our friends and have good times after he retired from the Army. That wouldn't be exactly the way our life would play out. I was so supremely pissed about it that I couldn't cry.

He'd fucking _promised_ me that he'd come home, and I was prepared to tell him about the baby on our Skype date the Sunday night two weeks prior. He sent me an e-mail that he'd been called to take extra duty because someone in his unit was ill, so he'd catch up with me the next day. Yeah, that wouldn't happen either.

As I sat there watching the scene play out in front of me, I tried to keep from throwing up. Not necessarily because I was looking at the flag-draped coffin in front of me or the Honor Guard that was beginning to fold it, but more because I was still suffering from morning sickness. I was twelve weeks into it, and I was all alone with the information. How I'd cope with doing it alone was something I didn't understand, but I knew that I had to figure it out because I only had a few months to stay on post before they kicked me out. I'd have to find a job and a place to live. Nobody wanted to hire a pregnant woman, much less a pregnant widow, so that part was going to be pretty difficult to get a handle on, but it wasn't like I had a lot of choice in the matter.

I was in a mess, and the full impact of it kept me from thinking about the fact that I was, for all intents and purposes, alone in the world. I didn't have the luxury to mourn my loss because I had to think about the baby inside me, and after the Honor Guard presented me with the flag, I quietly rose from my seat, walked slowly to the bushes off to the side of the grave where my young husband would be laid to rest, and I puked my guts out, half-daring anyone to give me shit about it.

I walked back to my seat and sat down as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and hugged the flag in my arms. The horrified looks on the faces of everyone in attendance didn't even register with me. I'd heard my mom and dad talking about the fact that I hadn't cried and Mom said that she didn't think I was coping with the loss. How the fuck do you cope with the loss? You meet your soul mate once, and when they're gone, your soul goes with them. That was something of which I was certain. How one survived without a soul was an interesting concept for me. If I figured it out, maybe I'd write a book about it someday.

As the gunshots went off and the bugler played, I didn't register much about what was actually going on any longer. My mother was sitting to my right, and Jacob's father was sitting to my left holding my hand. I knew it was just as hard on him as it was on me because he'd been so proud of Jake when he'd enlisted, and he was the only one of our parents who didn't pitch a fit when we snuck off and got married at the ripe old age of twenty.

Jake had been back in Forks for a week on leave. He'd gone into the Army right out of high school, and we wrote and spoke to each other every day when we could. We were high school sweethearts, and I was attending community college in Port Angeles while he was stationed in Texas. When he came home for his leave, he wasted no time telling me he wanted us to get married, and he wanted me to move with him to Texas before he deployed. I didn't hesitate when he proposed, and we found a justice of the peace and got married with his friend Embry as one witness and my friend Angela as the other.

When we went home that night and told my parents, they were pissed, but we didn't care. I packed my clothes and a few mementos from my childhood, and we went to a cabin on the reservation for the remainder of the week. We called it a mini-honeymoon, and we promised each other that someday, we'd go on a full-fledged honeymoon somewhere tropical. On Friday, we flew back to Texas and moved into a small one-bedroom house on post. Jacob had training for two weeks, but he was home every night, and that was the extent of our playing house.

When I went to the airstrip the day his battalion left for the Middle East, I cried the whole time. "Hey, now, that's not the face I want to take with me to Iraq. Where's that beautiful smile?" he asked as he held me when it was time to say good-bye. I gave him the best one I could come up with under the circumstances, and he was gone. I remember him looking over his shoulder at me and blowing me a kiss, which caused his Sergeant, Sam Uley, to smack him on the back of the head and make a comment to him, sending Jacob into a fit of laughter. That was the last time I actually saw my husband of three weeks alive, save seeing his torso on Skype when he could get away to meet me for our too few scheduled dates.

I acclimated to life on a military base with the help of Emily Uley, Sam's wife, and when I found out I was pregnant, she was with me at the doctor's office because she was the only friend I had at that point.

She'd flown to Washington for the funeral, which I somehow noticed during the fog that followed the news that my husband was dead. I appreciated her being there, even though I had nothing to say to her. Her husband was still in Iraq, and I knew she had worries of her own. No wife wanted to have to go through what I was going through, so I couldn't blame her for keeping her distance. I'd be worried that I'd be going through the same thing if I was her. I knew it wasn't contagious, but if I were her, I'd be keeping my distance in case it was.

When we arrived back at Billy's house later that day after the funeral, everyone began pulling out food and milling around the small house. I had nothing to say to anyone, so I went into Jake's childhood bedroom and lie down on the bed. I wasn't tired, though I should have been because I hadn't slept since I'd received the news, but I wanted to be alone, and I was sure that everyone would respect the fact that the widow needed her space.

No one except Emily knew about the baby, and I wasn't looking forward to telling the rest of them. I heard my mom tell my dad that she'd fly back to Texas with me and help me move back to Washington. I was fine with it, I supposed. That's where Jake would be for eternity, and I wanted to be close to him. It wasn't as if I had anything holding me in Texas.

I settled on the bed and crossed my arms protectively over my miniscule baby bump, and I closed my eyes, reliving significant moments in mine and Jake's courtship and short marriage. I reached into the neckline of the ugly black dress and pulled out his dog tags with my left hand feeling the metal clink against my thin wedding band, having buried Jacob with his. I just wanted a moment to reflect. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I didn't want to have to listen to their stories about Jacob's antics when he was growing up. They needed to tell them for their own sake, but I didn't need to listen. I knew most of them anyway because I'd been involved in most of them. I could reminisce alone, which was what I'd be for the rest of my life, even after the baby came.

I felt the faint sensation of a finger sweeping from my forehead down between my closed eyes to the end of my nose, just like I always had when he… I opened my eyes and was stunned at the sight before me. "Jake?" I asked in disbelief. There he sat next to me on the bed like he'd done so many times before, but he looked different. His hair was long again just as it had been when we were in high school, and he was wearing his signature sleeveless black t-shirt and torn jeans.

"Bells. Why so glum?" he asked. Was he fucking kidding me?

"Um, I just…" I began. I looked down my body and saw myself still dressed in the ugly black dress. I was still clutching the dog tags around my neck so obviously, the death and funeral hadn't been a nightmare.

"Yeah, that was pretty bad. Sorry 'bout that," he responded, sounding apologetic. Clearly, I was suffering from some type of a mental break or a bad dream, or maybe I was dead too. Fuck if I knew.

"I wish I'd have known about this little one before…" he began as his hand caressed my stomach, though I couldn't actually feel the contact.

"I was going to tell you on our phone date on Sunday night. How are you _here_?" I asked.

"You tell me. I don't know how this shit works, but you brought me here, so what's up?" he asked in his typical careless manner. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

"How am I supposed to do this without you?" I asked feeling the tears prick behind my eyes.

"Hell, you're one of the strongest women I've ever met. You kept my ass in line for six years. I'm guessin' it won't be easy, but if anyone can handle this, Bells, you can," he answered. I couldn't help the tears as they tumbled down my face.

"Now, none of that. I know that it's gonna be tough raisin' this one by yourself, but Dad will help you, and Charlie and Renee will be happy about the news, I promise. Now, you need to make quick work of gettin' out of the house on post and get back here to family. You'll need to move on soon, you know. You're too young to be alone, and this one is gonna need a dad," Jake remarked.

I was shocked and completely pissed. "How dare you! Move on? I just buried you this morning. How the fuck can you say that to me?" I hissed.

"Oh, calm down, dammit. You know you're going to have to move on. I'm not saying go to the bar tonight, I'm just saying that eventually, you'll have to move on, and you need to just prepare yourself for that," he answered.

"Really? Well, Swami, how long would you recommend I wait? Next week?" I sniped at him.

He laughed his familiar warm laugh and leaned down and kissed my lips, though I couldn't feel it. "Honey, you'll figure it out. Now, I'll be here if you need me. Don't go out there where everyone else is with Dad. Those people are fucking depressing. I love you, Bells. I always have," he answered. My eyes blurred with tears, and when I blinked to clear them, he was gone.

##

_**Present Day**_

"May I ask you why you're lying on a gurney next to the nurses' station with a sheet over your head?" I asked. I knew exactly who it was under that sheet. It was our new resident playboy. I'd been sent up from the morgue to retrieve a deceased patient which wasn't thrilling because I fucking hated my job, and when I saw two bodies with sheets over them in the hallway, I pulled back the first one, seeing it was Dr. Cullen. It wasn't the first time he'd pulled the stunt in his short time at Forks Hospital, and I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be the last.

"Angel of Death…again we meet. I'm waiting for Whitlock to come back on duty and shove an IV in my arm to help me rise from the dead. Can you just put that sheet back unless you want to crawl up here with me, you beautiful apparition? If that's the case, then wheel us to somewhere more private before you do," he whispered in a raspy voice as he opened his right eye to look at me.

I knew he'd attended Dr. McCarty's bachelor party along with most of the other male doctors on staff, and I'd seen from the duty board that he was due to be on in a few hours, so it didn't surprise me that he was at the hospital instead of his own home, wherever that was. The bar where they were having the party was across the street from the hospital, and it wasn't like they hadn't drifted into the hospital before in various states of drunkenness in the past. I always laughed at them, but it was because I had no real life of my own aside from taking care of my nearly three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Jacqueline, so I was entertained by their antics on a regular basis.

My daughter was the light of my life, and we'd made a pretty good life for ourselves. Well, I'd made us a pretty good life, but that was beside the point. I still talked to Jacob every night in my dreams. He'd been instrumental in helping me decide how to invest the bulk of the death benefit from the Army, and he'd helped me find the house we lived in by suggesting I talk to Dr. McCarty's fiancée, Rosalie Hale, who was a realtor in Forks. My house was across the street from the house where she and Dr. McCarty lived, and they'd proven to be great neighbors in the nearly two years I'd lived there. The first two years I was back in Washington, I lived with my parents. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there again, remembering how much my parents got on my nerves when I was growing up.

Every night for four years, I found myself in our little house at Ft. Hood, sitting at the kitchen table and talking to Jacob about what was going on in mine and Jax's lives just as he and I had done in the brief two weeks we lived there together before he was deployed. He listened with rapt attention to everything I told him, and he even offered his two cents every now and again.

I didn't tell anyone about my continuing relationship with my dead husband because I was certain that they'd give me a one-way ticket to the nearest padded cell, but he'd gotten me through the worst part of dealing with his death, and his continued support and comfort had kept me from losing my mind. I doubted that anyone would understand it, but it wasn't really theirs to understand.

I'd taken a few classes at the community college in Port Angeles that led me to the job at Forks Hospital. It was in the morgue, unfortunately, but I could work nights and be home with Jax, as I called her, during the day. Mom and Dad watched her from 4:00 PM until midnight when I got off work, and Billy spent time with her on weekends when I took her out to La Push, which wasn't as often as it should have been. From time to time, I could see Jacob milling around Billy's house unnoticed by anyone except me, and it reminded me of our time in high school when I would go visit with him and his father. It had been a great comfort to me to think he was around his dad's house looking after him.

"Dr. Cullen, what would your _girlfriend_ say? I don't think she'd be happy about the fact that I wheeled you into a dark corner and took advantage of your drunken ass," I teased, still holding the sheet up from his head.

"_Girlfriend?_ I don't have a girlfriend, Angel. I'm waiting for you to realize that I'm the best thing that's ever going to happen to you, and until you do, I'm filling my time with nameless and faceless bimbos. Now, take us to the on-call room and have your way with me," he insisted. He truly cracked me up. He had a girlfriend, and she was a harpy, so his assessment of the situation left me puzzled. I'd dealt with the bitch on more than one occasion because she was one of the pathologists at the hospital, and _bitch_ was the kindest thing I could say about her.

"Dr. Cullen, you can't remember my name unless you're intoxicated, and even then, you don't use it. I've run into you in the hallways since you got here, and all you do is nod at me. I think Dr. Tightass would be less than thrilled to hear you refer to her as a nameless and faceless bimbo," I answered as I stood over him. He was cute, even in his drunken stupor. He was the first man since Jacob had died who I'd even given a second glance. It figured it would be a surly bastard who'd catch my eye.

"She's fucking Dr. Simmons on the side, as I found out tonight, so I don't really give a shit. We were never exclusive, and I actually wear a double jacket when I'm with her, but don't tell her that because her voice grates on my fucking nerves and I don't want to hear her complain about it, though she can give head like nobody's business. That woman could suck the chrome off a tailpipe. Do you give head, Black?" he asked. I couldn't help but laugh. The conversation was so inappropriate, and if his mother knew what he was saying, she'd kill him.

Esme Cullen was the hospital administrator and the chief of psychiatric medicine at the hospital where I worked, and she prided herself on her decorum, but she knew that her son wasn't of the same mind. I couldn't wait until the latest discussion with Dr. Fuck-Em-All circulated amongst the staff. In the three months since Edward Cullen had joined our staff, at least once a week, we'd hear word of shouting matches in his mother's office because of one stupid thing he'd done or another. Rumor had it that he'd transferred to Forks Hospital because of a run-in with a nurse in Boston. Since Dr. Cullen had joined our staff, the gossip mill was churning away in overtime. Someone had even set up a Twitter account for hospital staff to report his whereabouts and his antics. I was probably the only female at the hospital who didn't follow Dr. Sex Hair on Twitter.

"Dr. Cullen, I've been commended on my oral skills in the past, but I'm a lady, and I don't suck and tell. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a recently deceased that I need to find and take downstairs for an autopsy. If I see Dr. Whitlock, I'll send him your way," I responded as I laid the sheet back over his face and moved away from the gurney.

From beneath the sheet, I heard him ask, "Do you, Angel, by any chance swallow?" as I walked over to the other gurney, identifying my deceased based on the chart on the end of his cart. I didn't answer Dr. Cullen because I knew his type too well, and he wasn't relationship material, though from what I heard around the hospital in the short time he'd been there, he was a hell of a good time. I had no interest in being girl number thirty-three, which was the tally that the hospital staff tweeted. I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was still in love with my dead husband, but Dr. Cullen _was_ cute.

I had the dubious distinction of being known as "That Poor Widow Black" around town. I tired of the pitying looks I got from everyone from the deputies and officers at the Forks Police Department to the bag boy at the Thriftway. Only a select group of people, mostly close family, didn't treat me that way any longer, which was probably why, despite his reputation, I actually liked Dr. Cullen. He didn't treat me that way either. I didn't know if it was just because he didn't know my story or because he didn't care, but I appreciated that he treated me like a normal person. Above all else, I craved to be treated like a normal person.

Another person who didn't treat me that way was my colleague in the morgue, Eric Yorkie. He was a breath of fresh air in the depressing jobs in which we both found ourselves, and if it hadn't been for him, I'd have likely quit my job shortly after I started. "Yorkie? I've got our next guest," I yelled as I wheeled the gurney into the morgue. The latest deceased was scheduled for an autopsy the next morning, and he needed to be logged in so that when Dr. Aro Volturi, not to be confused with his screech owl of a daughter, Dr. Jane Volturi…a/k/a Dr. Tightass…came on duty, he could get to work immediately. He was a nitpicker, and he'd chew our asses out if we didn't log them in properly and send e-mail to his account so he knew how his day would progress. He was a prick, to be certain, but he was definitely a stickler for details. His daughter…she was just a bitch.

"Name?" Eric yelled from the desk. He was the only bright spot in my nights. He was funny and he was a great person with whom to work. Eric was gay, and he and his boyfriend-of-the-day always had issues. I was pretty certain that the issues were Eric's alone because _that_ many gay men couldn't have _that_ many issues. It was always entertaining to listen to his rantings on the latest relationship problem.

"Carl Preston," I called as I read the toe tag and double checked it against the chart. The deceased was 49-years old, and he had died of cancer, so why his family wanted an autopsy was beyond me. It was an awful way to die from what I'd heard, and the only good thing that came from working in the morgue was that I was taking better care of myself. I wasn't ready to be a guest anytime soon because I had a daughter to raise…alone…so I'd started eating better and actually had started getting more exercise.

"What the hell took so long?" Eric called as I pushed Mr. Preston into a drawer. It was still eerie to me when I remembered that I was surrounded by dead bodies every night, but it was part of the job, so I did it. It paid the bills on our small house without having to dip into the death benefit from the horrific loss that we'd suffered, and the hours meshed with my home life. There weren't _that_ many jobs in Forks, so when I was offered the one I had, I didn't really hesitate to accept it.

"I had a Cullen encounter. I'm surprised someone hasn't tweeted it yet. I saw Bree Tanner watching us from the nurses' station. Dr. Cullen was passed out on a gurney again, and I almost brought him down by mistake. That bitch, Jessica Stanley, had Mr. Preston just parked in the hallway so that she could clean the room. I oughta report her to the Director of Nursing. That is _so_ disrespectful," I complained as I closed the door on poor Mr. Preston.

"God, I wish you _would_ have brought Cullen down here. I still think I could turn him my way if I had some uninterrupted time with him," Eric called in his high-pitched voice as I walked back into the office and peeled off the gloves I'd worn, disposing of them in the hazmat bucket in the corner of the room.

"I doubt it, but if you want him, he's up on three waiting for Dr. Whitlock to wake up. Maybe in his drunken state, you can have your way with him. He asked me if I swallowed, so you might stand a chance. He told me Dr. Tightass was just a nameless, faceless bimbo who is fucking Dr. Simmons on the side, and I had a good laugh at that. Wonder what the bitch from hell would think about _that_ little description?" I asked as I logged the latest guest in the hospital's database.

"God, I'd swallow him whole. It's truly a shame he doesn't go my way. I could show that man a good time," Eric responded, clearly not listening to anything I was telling him. I could tell by the glazed over look on his face that he was once-again fantasizing about Edward Cullen. I'd seen that look on a lot of gay males' and females' faces around the hospital when in the presence of said playboy. I'd even talked to Jacob about it one night, and we'd had a good laugh at Dr. Cullen's expense. Yeah, I was truly crazy.

"You'd be number thirty -four…I'm sure in that tally there might have been a few guys along the way. You should go upstairs and see if you can make any…_headway_…pardon the pun. Who knows," I answered as I walked to the refrigerator in the office and pulled out a Coke.

"Naw, I doubt it. No matter how drunk the guy is, I'm pretty sure he can tell a cock from a pussy. Wonder if Mama Cullen will get wind of his latest antics and write him up again? He's only been here three months, and I think she's suspended him twice. Good thing she's his mother. Anyway, how's your little sweetheart?" Eric asked. He'd met Jax when I'd had to bring her with me to the hospital to pick up my paycheck or go to therapy, and Eric had no problem with keeping her occupied while I took care of business or went to my grief support group. He worked a lot of double shifts, and it seemed like he was always there.

"She's good. She's starting pre-school this fall. I can't believe how quickly time has gone by," I remarked as I continued the job Eric had abandoned which was logging the charts of those departed souls that had occurred over the weekend when the stoner, Mike Newton, worked. He never did anything, but neither Eric nor I felt the need to report him because neither of us wanted to pick up his shifts over the weekend. He was better than nothing, we'd both come to decide.

"I can't believe that. You've been here, what, a year? How're Mama Swan and the Chief?" Eric asked. He'd met my parents on more than one occasion…one occasion being when my father picked him up for loitering outside The Body Shop, a gym in our small town, because Eric liked watching the guys work out through the windows. The owner had received a complaint based on bitching by the customers, and she'd had no choice but to call the police. My dad laughed and scared Eric into agreeing that he wouldn't lurk outside the gym again.

"They're fine. I haven't heard any more stories about your perverted ass stalking guys at the gym. Who're you dating these days?" I asked as I worked. He cleared his throat and flipped me off, causing me to shoot Coke out my nose. If he didn't keep me laughing all the time, I'd probably have been crazier than I was.

At midnight, I clocked out and made my way upstairs to the third floor. Curiosity got the best of me, and I had to see if Dr. Cullen was still on the gurney next to the nurses' station before I went to pick Jax up at my parents' house. As I climbed off the elevator, I saw Dr. McCarty swaying down the hallway, clearly feeling no pain. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of the huge man bouncing off the walls on his way to the locker room. I had no idea what time the bachelor party had started, but if the soon-to-be-groom was showing up at the hospital at midnight, I was pretty sure it was all over.

"If it isn't Bella Black. How are you, gorgeous?" Dr. McCarty slurred as he scooped me up into his burly arms. The man was a mountain.

I laughed and hugged him in return. He'd been so sweet to me since I'd moved in across the street from him, but he was one of those people who looked at me with pity which I despised. Rosalie never seemed to, but Emmett certainly did. He also loved my daughter. When Jax was around, he played with her and teased her relentlessly, and she absolutely adored him. "I'm just on my way to pick up Jax and go home. How was the bachelor party?" I asked.

"It was too fucking short! My friends and colleagues are all light-weight pussies. Now, you got your invite, right?" he asked. I'd been invited to the nuptials, and I was going to invent a reason why I couldn't attend because, while I could do most things that involved couples, I still had a hard time attending weddings. When my friend, Angela, had gotten married to her high school sweetheart two years ago, it sent me to my bed for a day and a half before the wedding. The only thing that got me up was Jake telling me that I wasn't being fair to Angela. He reminded me how great she'd been when we got married, and I couldn't disagree with him, so I got up out of bed and dressed, showing up with the biggest smile I could fake. I'd been able to avoid being a member of the wedding party, but I wanted to be there for my friend, and I'd mustered the strength to do it…thanks to my dead husband. I should have probably sought out professional help at that point, but I was a proud, strong woman, or so I kept telling myself. I waited until I started working at the hospital to seek it out, but I didn't tell my support group about my nightly discussions with my dead husband.

"I did, but I'm not sure that's going…" I began as Dr. Cullen appeared from the on-call room. "Hey, Em. You close 'em up?" he asked as he sidled up next to where we stood talking…or at least I was talking. Dr. McCarty was swaying and maybe drooling a little.

"Me and Paul closed the joint. Anywho, I'm on in eight, so I'm going to get some sleep in on-call. See ya later, Cullen. Blacksheep, I expect to see you at the wedding. I'll accept no excuses," Emmett called as he strolled away from us.

"Ah, Angel, we meet again. Anyway, I was on my way down to Hell to find you. I have a huge favor to ask, and I won't accept no for an answer, just like McCarty said. I need a date for that wedding, and I want you to go with me. Dr. Tightass and I are no more, and I suddenly find myself without an escort, which isn't something I want to be. You've got a pretty good reputation around the hospital, and my reputation can certainly use an overhaul, as my mother told me when I got called into her office yesterday. Plus, I'm pretty sure you were about to beg off, but if Emmett or Rosalie found out that you lied about the reason you're not going to show, they'd hound you mercilessly, and since you live across the street from them, it would be difficult for you to carry on the charade that you were somehow incapacitated enough to preclude you from attending the wedding. So, what say you?" he asked.

I was freaking out. I didn't date, and I had no idea why he'd chosen me, a mere technician at the hospital, to be his date for the wedding. As far as I knew, he was in the wedding party, and surely there was a bridesmaid among the mix with whom he could hook up. I wasn't going to be the hook-up girl for anyone. I never had been, and I certainly didn't plan to become one at the ripe old age of twenty-four.

"Dr. Cullen, I happen to have a very good reason for not going. My parents are going away for a long weekend, and my father-in-law obviously can't babysit Jax while I go to the wedding. I don't know anyone else who's not going to the wedding to ask for a babysitting favor, so I'll be sending my gift and waiting for Dr. McCarty to bring in the pictures," I answered.

He gave me an odd look at my reference to my father-in-law, and I felt the need to clarify. Before I could explain, he asked, "So you still keep in contact with your ex's father? That's very forward thinking of you. Where's the deadbeat dad anyway? I hope he at least pays you child support," he responded. It was then that I could tell he had no idea about my situation, and I really hated explaining it to people. I was waiting for the pitying head tilt.

"Um, it's not exactly like that. Jax's father isn't a deadbeat dad, he's a _dead_ dad. He was killed in Iraq almost four years ago before she was born. I'm actually surprised that someone around here hasn't informed you that I'm the infamous _Young Widow Black_," I responded, trying not to sound upset. He'd only been at the hospital for three months, and I didn't expect that he'd have made any inquiries with regard to my status because I wasn't like the other insipid women at the hospital who chased after him. My guess about his request to accompany him to the wedding was that I was the first woman he saw after he dumped Dr. Tightass.

"Fucking hell. I'm so sorry, Bella. I had absolutely no idea. Nobody said anything to me about it. I feel like a complete and utter ass," he answered, looking quite embarrassed. I didn't want him to be one of those people who treated me with pity, so I needed to stop him in his tracks.

"Please, don't worry about it. Anyway, like I said, I don't have anyone to take care of Jax, so I won't be attending. Maybe check with Bree Tanner. She's nice enough, and she's got a thing for you, I think," I offered as I was about to make a break for it before I started crying again.

"I don't want to take Bree Tanner. I want to take _you_. With regard to your babysitting dilemma, I believe I have the solution for that. I know someone who would be more than happy to babysit that adorable little girl of yours. Now, next excuse," he responded as he crossed his arms over his chest, seemingly over his embarrassment. He completely threw me for a loop, and that wasn't good for me at all.

"I don't know that I need another excuse," I answered honestly. I looked at my watch and saw that it was edging onto 12:30 AM, and I usually picked Jax up by 12:15. I'd have to explain it to my parents if they happened to be up, and I wasn't looking forward to it in the least.

"Bella, please…I don't want to go to this wedding unaccompanied, and I know that you won't go without an escort. Look, I don't know your life story, but I'd like to get to know you. Jane and I are over, and I'm done with random dates. I like you, and I know you like me because you're the only woman in the whole damn place besides my mom who actually treats me like more than an underwear model. Please, go with me or at least consider it. Call me over the weekend. I'm on duty all weekend, and I know you know my number because it's on the employee roster. Please call me," he asked. I couldn't answer him directly, so I merely nodded as I left him standing next to the nurses' station that morning.

I went to my parents' house and collected Jax without waking my mom and dad. I didn't know how I'd be able to do it when she got older because she was nearly as big as me, but I was still able to lift her and carry her to the car.

I took her home and carried her to her room, tucking her snuggly into her bed. After she was settled, I took a quick shower and pulled on one of Jake's t-shirts and fell into bed. I was exhausted, and I needed to fall asleep because I needed to talk to Jake about what had happened at the hospital.

"Bells, what's wrong?" Jacob asked as we sat at the table in our small kitchen in Ft. Hood. It was where we always met.

"Well, you had to see that Dr. Cullen asked me to go with him to Dr. McCarty's wedding. I don't want to go, Jake. I can't do weddings. Angela's nearly took me out, if you remember," I answered as I sipped the coffee in front of me, not tasting it at all.

"Honey, you like Dr. McCarty, and Rosalie has been really good to you with regard to helping you find the house and watching Jax so you can go to the grocery store, and you know you like Dr. Cullen through you won't admit it. You should go. You've got to let go of me, Bells. I'll always love you, and I know you'll always love me, but it's been four years. You need to move on," he answered as he sipped his coffee as he'd always done.

"Jake, I can't. He didn't know anything about you, and I'm pretty sure that now that he does he wishes he could take back his invitation. I don't want another fucking person to treat me like the poor young widow. I'm so tired of it," I sobbed. I couldn't help but cry. He smiled at me, but I could tell he wasn't giving up.

"Well, if you don't want to be treated like that, then stop actin' like it. Hell, you never do anything without your mom and Jax. You need to make a life for yourself outside of being a mother, Babe. Cullen seems like a pretty normal guy…a bit of a fuckhound, maybe, but maybe he wants to change his ways. You need to go out with _someone_, so why not him? The only guy who's had the guts to ask you out since you moved back is the weekend stoner, Mike Newton, and I gotta tell ya, I really don't like the idea of him bein' around Jax," Jacob answered.

I took another sip of the tasteless coffee and pondered the predicament I was in. Then, it occurred to me that Jacob knew everything that happened at the hospital. Even things I didn't tell him. I wanted to know why. "I've got a question. Do you follow me around all day?" I asked stupidly.

He laughed heartily, and it was good to hear it again. I'd missed it. "Bells, honey, you know that I'm not really here, don't ya? I'm just an outlet your subconscious uses to help you cope. I look the way I do because you can't bear to think about me when I shipped out. Hey, that's okay. I was much cooler when I was young," he explained.

It actually made sense. I knew it wasn't really Jacob sitting across from me, but I didn't care _why_ he was there. He'd kept me sane for nearly four years, and I didn't really see myself not ever seeing him again, but maybe as time went by, I wouldn't be so fucking dependent on him.

"Jake, am I nuts?" I asked. It was definitely something to consider.

He laughed. "No more than anyone else who's gone through what you have. What did Dr. Denali say? Everyone has their own coping mechanisms? Well, I guess talking to me is yours. We always talked about everything when I was alive, so just because I'm not physically here any longer, it doesn't mean that we can't still talk. Hell, at least you didn't start drinkin' like some of the other wives did. Go to your grief group tomorrow. Get Rosalie to watch Jax for an hour. You know that she doesn't have anything goin' on tomorrow mornin', so go. It seems to help ya," Jake reasoned. He had a good point.

"Bells, I gotta go. Your alarm is about to go off. I love you, honey," he announced. I looked at my cup and when I looked up at him, he was gone.

Just then, my alarm went off. My eyes sprung open and I saw that it was 7:30 AM. I shut off the alarm, took a shower, and called Rosalie. Unfortunately, she wasn't home, so I was going to have to take Jax with me to the hospital. She could take a book and sit quietly in the corner of the room where we had our group meeting, entertaining herself. She was great that way.

END NOTE: So? Let me know if you're interested in the story continuing. If you're not…I'll let it die. Till next time…(hopefully) xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Hello again! Thank you for your interest in this story. I was quite nervous about posting here, but you've made me feel quite welcome. I hope you continue to follow it and maybe you wanna mention it to a friend : )**_

_**A few answers: The entire story will be in Bella's POV, but that's not to say that I wouldn't consider an outtake if there's a particular event that people are interested in hearing more about. I'll post on Wednesdays (fingers crossed!) until "Trip" is finished, then I might posts twice a week. As I mentioned in Chapter 1, the story is sad in spots, but it's also filled with humor and love. Someone referred to Jake as Bella's cheerleader…I rather like that!**_

_**All Twilight characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 2

"Hello, everyone. Glad to see you're all here this morning. Let's get started," Reverend Weber, Angela's father, began. He led the grief support group at the hospital, and he was a very compassionate man.

As I sat in the circle half listening to what the others were saying, I couldn't help but dissect everything that had taken place a mere half-hour before. When I'd arrived at the hospital with my daughter in tow, I ran into Emmett and asked about Rosalie.

"_She's listing a house today, and the only time the owners could meet was early this morning. Why? What's up?" Emmett had asked._

"_Nothing important. I was going to ask her to watch Jax for an hour so that I could go to group, but I'll just take her with me. Was it busy overnight?" I asked as I noticed Jax talking to Dr. Whitlock. He always had toys in his pockets because he was a pediatrician…Jax's pediatrician as a matter of fact…and she knew it, so when he was around, they made a game of her searching his jacket pockets until she found something. That time, it was a miniature Etch-A-Sketch._

"_Leave her down here. We'll watch her. I just got on, but I think Cullen's going to be free for a while. I'll check on 'em between patients and Whitlock's around, so we'll be fine. If something comes up, one of us will bring her up to ya," Emmett offered._

"_What's Cullen free to do?" I heard behind me. I turned to see Edward standing at the nurses' station signing off on charts._

"_You, me and Whit are gonna watch Jax while Bella has an appointment. You're finished for a while, right?" Emmett asked. I wasn't so sure about it. Edward had talked to Jax before and seemed comfortable around her, but I was pretty sure that his exposure to children was very limited._

"_Sure. I was just on my way down to the cafeteria to get breakfast. Miss Black, would you like to accompany me to breakfast?" Edward asked as he squatted down in front of her as she played with the toy._

_I looked at Emmett, and he nodded subtly. Just then, Jasper spoke up. "I'll go too. I just finished my shift, but I don't mind hangin' around for another hour. I need to eat before I have office hours, anyway. She'll be fine with us, Bella," Jasper assured. I walked over to where my daughter stood and stooped down._

"_You'll be okay going with Dr. Cullen and Dr. Whitlock to breakfast, right? I'll be back in a little while, and then we'll go to the playground," I asked._

"_Sure, Momma. I play wiff this," she answered showing me the toy in her hands. I looked at Edward and Jasper and they both smiled._

"_Go on. We'll be fine," Edward responded. I reluctantly agreed and rode the elevator to the fifth floor where the meeting room was located, all the while hoping things were okay with Jax and the doctors. _

I was pulled from my trance when I heard my name. I turned to see Reverend Weber looking at me, clearly waiting for some type of a response. When he got none, he asked his question again. "Bella, you weren't here last week. How are you?" he asked.

How was I? That was a very good question. I decided to open up to the group of five sitting before me because maybe, just maybe, one of them could help me. "Um, I'm okay. I've have been struggling with a little bit of guilt lately. See, I've met someone, and I'm actually thinking about going to a function with him," I responded honestly. Was I truly thinking about going to the wedding with Edward Cullen? I supposed I was if it was coming out of my mouth.

"Oh, dear, that's wonderful. You shouldn't feel guilty about that. You're far too young to be alone. When my Walter passed, it was ten years of loneliness for me before I met Joseph," Sophie Klemp responded. She was a very nice older woman who attended the group because her son had died in a car accident two years prior.

"Did you feel guilty about it?" I asked sincerely. I needed to know if I was completely betraying Jacob by even considering going to the wedding with Edward Cullen.

Mr. Jonas, who was attending the group because of the loss of his wife, spoke up. "Honey, you can't feel guilty about moving on. I was with my Mae for forty years, but if I'd passed when we were young, I'd have wanted her to find someone. I'm sure your husband would want you to find someone. Like Sophie said, you're far too young to be alone," Mr. Jonas offered.

Just then, the door to the room opened and Esme Cullen breezed in to join us. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I just wanted to come down and check in. I haven't been in a while, and I wanted to see how everyone's doing," Esme offered by way of an explanation as she pulled an empty chair into the circle. I immediately felt embarrassed about what I'd shared. She'd attended group before, as the Head of Psychiatric Medicine, but I never shared when she was around. I hadn't seen her at a meeting for at least four months.

Reverend Weber cleared his throat and smiled at her. "Welcome, Dr. Cullen. Bella was just telling us that she was experiencing some guilt because she's met someone with who she's considering attending a function. Some of the other members were just reassuring her that she was too young to be alone, and that she shouldn't feel guilty. So, Bella, what do you think about what Mr. Jonas and Mrs. Klemp have offered?"

I felt my face flame, and I really didn't want to answer, so I merely offered, "I'll take it into consideration." I checked my watch and saw that we still had twenty minutes left of group, and I couldn't wait to get out of the room.

"Okay. Bella, why do you think you feel guilty about considering a relationship with someone new?" Esme asked. I really didn't fucking want to answer _her_, of all people.

"Um, I guess because I feel like I'll be cheating on Jake. He was the only boyfriend I'd ever had, so I'm not sure how to act with another man," I answered. Fuck, if I wanted help, I had to be honest, I supposed.

I heard the door open behind us and saw Edward Cullen walk in with my daughter on his shoulders, both of them laughing all the way into the room. I glanced at Esme Cullen, who was taking in the sight, and then I saw her smile at me. I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate, and I had to get out of there. I grabbed my purse and ran away without a word to anyone. I went into the bathroom and into a stall, locking the door as if I thought someone was chasing me, and I sat on the commode and put my head between my knees to try to catch my breath. It had been a while since I'd had a panic attack.

I felt the tears of shame streak down my face. What the fuck was I doing thinking about going out with a man who wasn't my husband? I owed it to Jacob's memory to remain faithful, and as far as male influences, Jax had my dad, Jake's dad, our male friends on the reservation, and even Emmett McCarty as male influences. I didn't need a man in my life. I was being ridiculous even considering going out for so much as a cup of coffee with another man, much less anything that remotely resembled a date.

I heard the bathroom door open, and I saw a small brown paper bag thrust under the stall door toward me. I quickly took it and held it to my mouth. As I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself, I noticed the heels pacing in front of the door and realized it was Esme Cullen. That wasn't what I wanted at all.

"Bella, dear, come on out," she called as she stopped in front of the door. I really had no choice in the matter, so I got up from my precarious seat and opened the door, continuing to breathe into the bag.

"I'll tell you something I bet you don't know about me. My husband, Carlisle, isn't Edward's father. Edward's father was my first husband, Edward Masen, who committed suicide when my son was three. Ed was bi-polar, and he couldn't handle the pressure of having a wife and family. At the time I married him, I had no idea, and after he killed himself, I went to medical school and specialized in psychiatry. My last year of school, I met my husband, Carlisle. I felt bad at first for dating Carlisle, but as time went by, Carlisle got close to Edward, and I fell in love with him. I held off for another two years of Carlisle's pursuit, and I finally gave in and married him when we were both residents. We've been together for twenty-two years, and Carlisle adopted Edward when he was ten. I blame myself for the way my son is today because I was quite indulgent to his whims as he was growing up, feeling guilty that his father wasn't around. Carlisle is a good father to him, don't get me wrong, but it took time for me to allow him into Edward's life. Is any of that remotely close to how you feel?" she asked.

I pulled the bag from my face, finally able to breathe at a normal rate on my own. I could only nod to her because I still hadn't found my voice.

She smiled and pulled out several paper towels, wetting them in cold water and handing them to me. "I figured as much. Can I ask you something? Is my son the person you're considering going out with?"

I accepted the paper towels and wiped my face and neck, still trying to calm myself. I cleared my throat because after what the woman had just shared, she deserved a verbal answer and not just a head bob. "He asked me to accompany him to Dr. McCarty's wedding. I don't have a babysitter because my parents are going away for a long weekend, but he said he had someone who could watch Jax. Dr. Cullen, I'm not the kind of mother who leaves my child with a stranger. I considered it for half a minute, and I immediately felt guilty. I like your son, regardless of his reputation, but I just don't think I'm ready for anything more than friendship," I answered as the tears began to flow at my admission. I walked into a stall and grabbed a bit of toilet paper with which to dry them, and I waited for her response.

"Did Edward ask you for anything more than friendship?" she asked, almost sounding hopeful. I remembered the conversation Edward and I'd had, and I came to the stark realization that he actually hadn't even asked me for _friendship_. He'd only mentioned that he liked me and wanted me to be his date for the wedding. Suddenly, I felt like a foolish idiot for blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

"Actually, now that I think about it, he didn't even ask me to be friends. Great, now I'm not only talking to my dead husband in my dreams, I'm creating interest where none has been expressed. I'm a stupid crazy woman," I answered as the tears continued to fall.

"Oh, honey, that's not the case at all. Edward called me this morning at 6:00 AM and asked if we were planning to attend the McCarty reception. I told him I didn't think so, and he asked me to keep the evening open in case he needed to ask us a favor. I believe he was planning to ask us to babysit your daughter, which I'd be honored to do. It's just a wedding reception, not a weekend getaway. I really hope you'll think about it. It's still three weeks away," she reasoned.

I only nodded, confirming that I'd think about it, and she surprised me by hugging me sweetly. She truly was a lovely woman, and I felt quite comforted by her embrace. As we broke apart, there was a knock on the ladies' room door. "Everything okay?" we heard called from the other side of the door. It was Edward, of course.

Esme opened the door, and we were met with Jax in his arms still playing with Dr. Whitlock's toy, and Edward holding her, looking quite nervous in his own right. "We're fine. We were just having a little girl talk. Now, I'm going to take this beautiful little girl with me to my office because I have some candy, and you can come collect her when you're ready to go, Bella," Esme called as she pulled Jax from Edward's arms. He seemed reluctant to let her go, which surprised the shit out of me.

"Okay, Miss Black, I'll see you soon, hopefully," he responded looking first at my daughter, and then at me expectantly. I didn't actually know how to respond.

Once Esme and Jax were gone, he took my hand and led me to chairs outside of another meeting room where we sat down together. "Look, I know that I might not have reacted well to what you told me last night, and I'm really sorry about that. I had no idea…" he began.

I held my hand up for him to stop, and I responded, "Please don't do that. Please don't be one of those people who look at me with pity. One of the reasons I like you is because you've never given me that look. I know now that it's because you didn't know my situation, but now that you do, please don't treat me any differently. I'm so damn tired of people giving me that look. It makes me want to pull my fucking hair out," I ranted.

The next thing he did caught me by surprise. He laughed. It was a full-belly laugh, and I couldn't help but join him. I knew I sounded like a raving lunatic, but the fact that he laughed at me instead of giving me the sympathetic head tilt that I usually got put me completely at ease.

"Okay, so no sympathy for Bella Black. I can actually understand that. Now, I know you're not sure about the wedding yet, so let's start with something simple. How about you and Jax come to my parents' house on Saturday for a cookout?" he asked.

"Um, I'm not sure that's a good…" I began.

"Hey, it's just a hamburger or a hotdog. You can meet my dad, Carlisle. My mom obviously likes you, and she already commandeered your daughter, so it's no big deal. Here, I still live with my mom and dad. How's that for embarrassing?" he asked.

I laughed again. The thought of him living with his parents struck me as funny. He looked a little offended, but then he laughed as well, so I didn't feel guilty. Suddenly, my filter was gone, and I asked, "Are you still on duty, or can you go to the park and get lunch with us?"

I truly wanted to bite off my own tongue. I'd just asked him to go out with us, and I immediately felt horrible for it. He smiled at me for a moment and then he looked concerned. I assumed it was because of the look on my face, which I tried to soften. I thought about my offer and decided that I needed to back it up. "I'm serious. Maybe a swing at the park or a glide down the slide followed by a ham sandwich or, if you're of the mind of my daughter, a gourmet PB&J. The little deli by the park cuts the crust off the bread. It's first class," I proclaimed. For reasons unknown to me at the time, it seemed important to me that he accompany us to the park.

"I'm free until one o'clock. Let me get my keys and wallet. I'll meet you upstairs at Mom's office," he announced as he squeezed my hand. He rose from the chair next to me and walked away, strolling toward the elevator. Once he disappeared, I turned to my right and saw Jacob sitting next to me. It was the first time I'd seen him without being at my parents' house, his father's house, or in the kitchen of our little house in Ft. Hood. I wasn't asleep either, so I was pretty sure I'd snapped.

He was looking at me with a smirk. "What?" I asked incredulously.

"You like him. You really like him," he answered as he bent at the waist in the chair next to me, resting his elbows on his knees and giving me a sideways glance.

"Maybe? Hell, I don't know. Does that upset you?" I asked.

"No, Bells, it doesn't upset me. I'm actually glad. Now, go to the thing at his parents' place on Saturday. Seems Dr. Cullen likes our daughter, and you and I both know that you need to have more friends. You better get going if you're going to meet him in his mother's office. I'll see ya tonight," Jacob told me as he rose from the chair and walked away. I got up and walked the opposite direction and went to the elevators. Apparently, I was batshit crazy, and my dead husband was a Jewish mother playing matchmaker. I had no idea how the fuck to process that information.

"_Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Roll it up and roll it up and put it in the pan,_" I heard in the hallway as I approached the hospital administrator's office. The door was open, and I saw my daughter sitting on the desk facing Esme Cullen as they played Patty Cake. I stalled for a moment taking in the sight, and the joy on Esme's face was something to witness. My daughter's lilting laugh was something to hear as well.

I suddenly felt an arm around my shoulders in a much more intimate embrace than I was used to and turned to see Edward standing next to me. "See, Mom would take good care of her if you go with me to the wedding. Come on, let's get going. That PB&J sandwich intrigues me. I hope they have cold milk to go with it," he remarked as he stood next to me in the hallway watching the sight before us.

"I'm not a big milk drinker, but Jax is, and she loves it," I answered. We walked into the office and I saw the look of disappointment on Esme's face. I was puzzled about it, but I was too afraid to ask why.

"Oh, here's your mom. Now, next time you come up, I'll teach you '_Mary Mack_'. I remember playing it as a girl, and I'm sure it's still around. It's been lovely talking to you, Miss Jacqueline. I hope to see you again soon," Esme responded as she kissed my daughter on the cheek and lifted her to the floor. Jax ran over to where I stood and then grabbed Edward's leg instead of mine.

"Horsey ride," she called. He didn't hesitate to lift her onto his shoulders and smiled at me triumphantly. Obviously, my daughter could be taken in by a pair of green eyes and an easy smile. I worried about when she was older because I was certain I was going to have my hands full with her.

"Dr. Cullen, thanks for watching her. I appreciate it. I also appreciate your support earlier, as well. I hope to see you soon," I announced, feeling it was the right thing to do. She'd been so damned kind to me and I didn't know what else to say.

"Mom, I've invited these two beauties over for a cookout on Saturday. Put a little pressure on Bella to come. She's still not certain. I fear if I do, I'll be hauled back up here and suspended again," Edward tossed out and quickly galloped out into the hallway with Jax squealing the whole way.

I could see the light in her eyes, and I knew I'd lost the upper hand. "Oh, Bella, please come. Carlisle would love to meet you and Jax. Edward talks about you all the time, and Carlisle's been asking about you," she volunteered. That got my attention. I couldn't fathom for a minute that Edward had been talking about me, or us, to his father.

"Um, I'll check our schedule," I offered. She was certainly someone who was tough to say "no" to.

"Sit down for a minute. I want to talk to you about two things that came up downstairs. Look, I didn't just happen to show up at group today. I got a tweet that you were talking to my son and he'd been spotted with your daughter in the cafeteria, and I remembered that group was meeting today, so that's why I showed up. The second thing is something you said in the bathroom. Don't ever worry about talking to your husband in your dreams. We all cope with our grief in different ways. It's apparent to me that you loved your husband very much, and if talking to him in your dreams helps you cope, then honey, that's not crazy. You're as sane as anyone walking these halls. Now, think about Saturday. Oh, and Bella, nothing that's been said between us will ever be related to anyone else. It's just between us," she offered. That time, _I_ hugged _her_. Her words were both a comfort and a confirmation of what I wanted to believe. I wasn't crazy and talking to Jake wasn't something that would get me committed. If anyone ever tried, I believed I could use Dr. Esme Cullen as an expert witness in my defense.

"Thank you. We'll see you on Saturday," I responded without thinking. The look on her face told me it was too late to take it back, so I was committed. It was, after all, just a hamburger or a hotdog.

"Higher," Jax called to Edward as he pushed the swing. He looked at my face as I sat at the picnic table where we'd eaten lunch, and I shook my head no. He laughed and pushed her a little harder, though likely not as hard as she'd have liked.

They had played in the sandbox at the park after we'd eaten, and then Jax wanted to slide, which he obliged, and then it was the swings. I watched the two of them with a smile on my face. They seemed to get along well, and I couldn't lie and say I was actually surprised.

"He seems to be good with her," I heard from my right. I looked over to see Jake sitting on the bench next to me with his elbows resting on the back of the bench I occupied.

"It's a first outing. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. He's a player, and I think he sees me as the impossible conquest. I'm not falling for that shit," I announced confidently.

Jake laughed his usual laugh. "I didn't think you would. Maybe he's not just a player. Maybe there's a decent guy under all of that arrogance," he responded.

"Arrogance? What, they have word-a-day calendars where you are?" I asked.

"Aw, now, I was never stupid, you know. I was a simple guy, and I wanted a simple life, but I was never stupid, Bells. You wouldn't have been with me if I was, and you damn well know it," he answered.

We watched Edward and Jax slide down the sliding board again, and I checked my watch to see it was just after 12:30 PM. I knew Edward had to get back to the hospital, and I had laundry to do, so I needed to end their fun. I wasn't looking forward to it because he seemed to be having as much fun with my daughter as she was having with him. The grin on her face was enough to tell me that she liked him and she trusted him. I wondered if I could because I didn't look at him with the eyes of a child. I looked at him with the eyes of a woman with deep scars who wasn't looking to get hurt again.

"Hey, guys, we need to go," I called. I looked to my right again and saw that Jake was gone, but I knew I'd see him in my dreams, so I wasn't bothered at all. I was worried about why he was randomly showing up during the day, but I wouldn't analyze it while I was in the company of Edward Cullen.

He was carrying my daughter on his back over to the bench were I was perched, her shoes in his right hand, his shoes in his left. It was quite a juggling feat to behold.

Once they reached me, I felt into my bag and pulled out sanitary wipes to wipe up Jax face, hands and feet, and I handed the container to Edward. "What else you got in there?" he asked as I put my daughter's shoes on. Clearly, he wasn't used to being around a mom.

"Well, what do you need? I've got a sewing kit, antibacterial gel, extra clothes for her, a brush and comb, dental floss, um, bandages, antibiotic ointment…" I continued.

"Stop. Obviously, you're like a drug store. I guess I'll have to get used to that. So, you're coming on Saturday? I got a text from Mom while we were on the slide," he announced confidently.

"I suppose we can come for a while. I make no promises beyond that," I responded.

"That's all I ask. Just give me a chance," he answered.

Mom stopped by the house to pick up Jax before I went to work, which surprised me. Usually, I dropped her off on my way to work, but Mom had been to the grocery store, and she was in the neighborhood, thus saving me a trip. I kissed the two of them good-bye, and I got to work half an hour earlier finding the ER in a state of chaos.

Apparently, there had been a bus accident outside of town, and all of the injured were brought to our small hospital. Triage was taking place on the parking lot, and there were wagons from Port Angeles and neighboring communities on the grounds. I knew it would likely be a busy night for us downstairs because some of the injuries looked absolutely horrifying.

I saw the God Squad, as Drs. Whitlock, McCarty, and Cullen were referred to around the hospital, and not because of the fact that they were doctors but because of the fact that they were so damn good looking, working feverishly to assist patients, and I felt completely helpless. It was like a fucking war zone and that only made me think of what it must have been like when my husband had been killed in an _actual_ war zone.

I knew a little about what had happened when Jacob was killed, but I'd blocked out most of the details. Apparently, my husband was on a detail and volunteered to inspect a package left on the sidewalk outside of a market in downtown Baghdad. When the fucking thing blew up, it took my Jake with it. I vaguely remembered someone trying to comfort me with some bullshit about he didn't know what happened because he was killed instantly, but I still wondered.

I quickly put it out of my mind and grabbed the elevator downstairs to find Yorkie and Dr. Tightass working feverishly. She was usually gone when I showed up at 4:00 PM, but looking at the watch on my arm I saw it was only 3:30 PM, so I guessed she was still on duty.

"Black, it's about time," she snapped. I didn't bother to tell the bitch that I wasn't due for another half hour. I simply dove in. I grabbed charts and entered them into the system and assisted where I could with my limited medical knowledge. I was nothing more than a data entry clerk, but I couldn't help but pick up some things along the way.

Several hours later, after Dr. Tightass was gone, I took a deep breath. Things had calmed, and we were full up in the morgue, which was a sad state of affairs. Apparently, a church group was on their way to a camping trip in the Olympic Peninsula, and a tractor trailer collided with it when the driver fell asleep. There were multiple casualties, which always made me cry.

"Eric, why don't you go on break," I called as I looked at my watch to see it was after 8:00 PM. He'd been on duty since noon, and I could see the distress on his face.

"I think I will. I wish Newton was around. I could seriously use some pharmaceutical healing right now. Some of those casualties were kids. I hate that shit," he answered. I could completely relate. There were fourteen fatalities in all, and five of them were children. It was completely awful.

After he left, I turned on the radio, setting it on a Top 40 station, which Yorkie hated, just so I could have some noise as I worked. I heard the elevator chime outside of the double doors to the morgue, and I prayed it wasn't another casualty.

"Angel?" I heard called by the unmistakable voice of Dr. Cullen.

"Back here," I responded without really thinking. I saw him walk into the small office and sit down in Eric's wheeled chair next to me. He scooted over to where I was sitting, typing away, and pulled me closer, laying his head on my lap. I didn't think about anything, I just placed my hand on his head and felt his wet hair. I'd noticed that he was in crisp scrubs and a clean white jacket with a stethoscope around his neck, which led me to believe that he'd showered.

"Is it still bad upstairs?" I asked as I let him rest on my lap. I wasn't at all sure why the familiarity of his actions was okay, but I'd think about that another time.

"It's mostly calm now, but there are a few cases that are still touch and go. I know that you've been busy down here, but I just needed to be somewhere quiet for a few minutes," he answered not moving his head from my lap. I didn't move my hand from his hair either, just barely scraping my nails across his scalp.

"It doesn't get much quieter than down here…that is if Dr. Tightass isn't around, but I guess you'd know that better than anyone," I responded without thinking.

I heard him moan, and I immediately felt guilty for my comment. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He laughed humorlessly and raised his head to look at me. "It was a moment of stupidity that caused me to ask her out. Please don't hold it against me. Now, how's my girl?" he asked. I wasn't sure who he was talking about, but I chose to assume it was Jax.

"She's great. Mom picked her up, and she was explaining to her how her new friend had taken her to the park. I owe my parents an explanation for that. Obviously, you made an impression on her," I responded. She hadn't shut up about him the whole day.

"God, she's incredible. She was telling me stories about books that you read to her and the games you two play together. Apparently, you're not very good at hide and seek. She said you always hide in the closet in your bedroom," he answered, finally sitting up and looking at me. Clearly, talking about my daughter took his mind off his troubles.

I laughed. Jax got very indignant when she couldn't find me, so I'd taken to hiding in the same place every time. When I jumped out at her and tickled her, she didn't seem to mind. Apparently, she was on to my game. "Well, she gets pissed when she can't find me, and I hate dealing with her when she gets in a mood, so yeah, I hide in the closet. She, however, gets very creative. Once I found her in the laundry room behind the dryer. I actually had to get Dr. McCarty to come over and move it so she could get out. She got in, but she couldn't get out, and I couldn't move it more than an inch, which wasn't enough for her to get free," I responded, thinking about how we filled our days. I was so grateful for my daughter that I could never shut up about her if anyone within earshot was willing to listen.

"I heard about that. McCarty told me that story my first night on duty with him. He didn't say whose daughter it was, he just mentioned that his neighbor had this great little girl, and then he regaled me with her many escapades. She's an adventurous one," he responded.

I laughed at his remark, and then his beeper went off. He looked at it and sighed. "I better get back. Mom's looking forward to you two coming over on Saturday. She asked if either of you were allergic to anything because she's wants to do a New England crab boil for the grown-ups and a hamburger for Jax. So?" he asked. I couldn't help but notice that his hand was holding one of mine, and I could barely comprehend what he was saying to me.

"Um, no allergies, and she doesn't have to cook anything special for Jax. She likes shrimp, if you can believe that, and she'll eat fish of any kind. You're not Charlie Swan's blood relatives if you don't eat fish," I answered, trying not to dwell on the heat coming from his hand on mine.

"I'll tell her. I'm actually off tomorrow, so I guess I'll see you at my parents' house at 3:00 PM on Saturday. I look forward to it, Angel," he called as he rose to leave. I could only nod.

When Eric walked back into the morgue after his break, I saw him smile. "Dr. Fuck-Em-All was down here, wasn't he? I could tell his smell over the chemicals in here anytime," he announced.

Of course, my blush gave me away. I couldn't help myself, and it was yet another thing I had to think about. How had I let a rogue of a doctor capture my attention? I was smarter than that. I had no desire to keep the company of any man other than my husband, but yet, Edward Cullen had slid under my radar. It was a disarming realization.

_**End note: So, there you have it. I hope you'll let me know what you think. **_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Happy Wednesday! Thank you for all of your reviews and your interest in the story. I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to stories...I hate starting one that's less than three chapter (sorry to admit it!). If I read an intriguing summary, I'll favorite it, and when it gets a little further in, then I start reading it. I am so happy that you're not that way, or my poor little tale with be reviewless, but if you're like me, then here's chapter 3. Now, please crawl out of the woodwork and review and rate like crazy!**

**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended**

3.

When I crept into my parents' house that night, I was surprised to see my mom sitting on the couch with a book. She was usually in bed by 12:15 AM, and I wasn't sure if there was a problem because she'd stopped waiting up for me a long time ago. "Mom, is something wrong?" I asked as I walked into the living room before I went upstairs to my old bedroom to gather my daughter and take her home.

"No, honey, nothing's wrong. Well, except that your dad had to work that bus accident, and I assumed you'd be busy at the hospital, so I wanted to make sure you were okay when you got off. Who's Mesme?" Mom asked. I froze. I wasn't ready to tell my parents about the encounter with Esme Cullen, but apparently, Jax had beaten me to it.

"Oh, that's Dr. Esme Cullen. She sat with Jax this morning while I was taking care of something. She taught Jax _Patty Cake_," I answered as I sat down, seeing that I wasn't going to get out of the talk easily.

"Okay, that explains a lot. She kept asking for Pat Cake, and I thought it was something on television. She kept moving my hands, but I didn't get it. Okay, so who's Redward?" Mom asked. That one was a little trickier to answer.

I took a deep breath and attempted to be as vague as I'd get away with. "That's Dr. Cullen. I guess she came up with her own name for him. He's got reddish-brown hair, and his first name is Edward. I think you've met him," I responded, trying to sound nonchalant. I hoped she was tired enough to let it go. She was usually pretty much on her game, so it was truly a crap shoot.

Mom laughed. "She's got a pretty good imagination. She actually told me that you talk to her dad at night. I guess she has vivid dreams," Mom announced. That got my attention. I knew I used to talk in my sleep because my parents told me I did, and Jake confirmed it for me when we'd slept together. I didn't realize that Jax heard me.

"I try to talk about Jake to her, even though she doesn't know him, and I guess she just took some of the stories I told her and made them into something else," I responded, feeling terribly guilty for throwing my daughter under the bus with the whole lie I was telling.

"That makes sense. Okay, honey, I'm going to bed. You're welcome to sleep here, you know," Mom offered. I knew it because the offer had been tendered many times, but I couldn't have my talk with Jacob at my parents' place, and I needed to talk to him more that night than nearly any other since he'd died.

After good-nights were exchanged, I gathered my daughter and went home. I settled her into bed, and then jumped into the shower for a quick clean-up. I pulled on Jake's t-shirt and melted into the sheets so that I wouldn't miss my nightly date with my husband.

I fell asleep quickly, and I found myself in the kitchen of our little house just like always. Jacob was waiting for me and the coffee was already poured. I sat down and waited because I was sure he had something to say.

"Bells, you seemed to have a good time today, work aside. When Edward came down to the basement tonight, you seemed to be happy to see him. I'm really glad about that," he announced as he sipped his coffee. I immediately felt guilty.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let things get out of hand like that," I responded trying not to cry. The guilt I felt over the encounters and the accepted invitation was eating me up.

"Stop that, dammit. You need to do _more_ shit like that. Oh, look, he's here," Jake replied. I looked up to see none other than Edward Cullen sitting down in the middle chair of our small kitchen table and there was a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Hey, you're Edward Cullen. I'm Jacob Black, the dead husband that she won't let go of," Jacob introduced. I was in shock at the encounter.

"Jake, it's nice to meet you. I really like spending time with her, but she won't really give me a shot. Any advice?" Edward asked. They were talking about me like I wasn't even there. Hell none of us were _really_ there, but I could still hear them.

I watched the two of them, and it really was like I wasn't there. I wasn't at the table any longer, I was further away. "She thinks it's a horrible thing to want to spend time with another man. You've got your work cut out for you, bud. Of course, she's already written you off because of all of the gossip at the hospital, so I wish you luck with that," Jacob commented as he raised his coffee mug to Edward.

Edward raised his cup and touched Jake's, and he took a sip. He looked contemplative, and then his face lit up. "What if she's making an assumption that's based on gossip? Shouldn't I get a shot at explaining myself? I haven't been with as many women as she thinks, but I need to figure out how to make her understand that," Edward explained.

I wanted to speak to that, but I couldn't find my voice. "You need to get her alone and talk to her. She pretends not to listen to the hospital gossip, but she does. She believes that you've been with thirty-three women at the hospital, and maybe a few guys, but if that isn't the case, you need to tell her because until you come clean, she's not gonna really give ya the time of day," Jake responded.

"When I was killed, she vowed she'd never be with another man or see another man as long as she lived. You've got an uphill battle on your hands, dude. She's made a good life for herself and Jax, and she's got some money tucked away, so she doesn't really need anyone for anything, and she really sucks at asking anyone for help when she _does_ need it. You're gonna have to figure out how to fit into her life and show her that she needs you. I don't know how you do that, but that's the only advice I can give you," Jacob commented. I wanted to slap him. I didn't need him giving any other man pointers on how to pursue me. I had no intentions of being with anyone for the rest of my life and having my dead husband give Edward Cullen advice in my dreams wasn't at all what I was comfortable with.

"Hey, hang on a goddamn minute. I didn't ask for you two to conspire against me like I'm not even here," I snapped. It was absolutely ridiculous that the two of them were talking about me like I wasn't sitting right there, which was exactly what I found myself doing.

"There's not enough time in my schedule to have been with that many women, but thanks for the advice. I hope to change her mind," Edward responded as he rose from his chair and walked away. Jacob looked at me and smiled.

"There. Now, give him a shot to explain himself. If he's as much of a manwhore as you suspect, then run for the fuckin' hills, but if he's a decent guy, give him a chance. I'm not comin' back, Bells. You know that whether you want to admit it or not. Dad's tried to tell ya, and Charlie's tried to tell ya, but you need to see it for yourself. I know we said we'd be together forever, but babe, I'm not comin' home. You know where I am. I'm at the Forks Cemetery. Let me go, Bells. For your own sanity and the sake of our daughter, let me go," he pleaded.

"I can't, dammit. We were supposed to have a fucking life, Jacob. You left me. I know you didn't want to, but you fucking left us. How the hell do I get over that? You are the only man I've ever known," I shouted at him.

"Sweetheart, I never wanted to leave you. I had dreams for our future too, but it just wasn't meant to be. You've gotta let go of that and make your own dreams. Bells, it's been almost four fucking years. You've got to let me go. Honey, it's time for you to get up. Take a hot shower and wash this away. We'll talk tomorrow night. I love you, Bells," he responded as he disappeared. My eyes flashed open just as the alarm went off. I wasn't sure how he did that, but he always knew when it was time for me to wake up. It was just like he knew everything else. It was just his way.

##

Saturday morning found Jax riding her trike on the sidewalk while I weeded the flower beds in my front yard. I heard a car coming down the road and saw Rosalie pull into her driveway. She was dressed in a red suit and a white blouse, obviously having come from an appointment. I saw her strip off her jacket and kick off her red heels, jogging across the street barefoot.

"Hello, ladies. How are the Black women this fine Saturday morning?" she asked as she leaned down and kissed Jax's cheek.

"Where's Memmett?" Jax asked. Rosalie and I laughed at the question. Jax had very creative names for everyone in her life, and how she came up with them was a complete mystery to me. She'd been doing it since she started talking.

"He's still sleeping, sweetie, because he had to work until 6:00 this morning. Bella, you got any coffee? I'm dying for some, and if I make it at home, it'll wake Em up, and he's only been asleep for four hours," Rosalie asked as she looked at her watch.

I peeled off my garden gloves and wiped my forehead with my forearm. "Sure. I'll go get you some. Have a seat on the porch. Jax, stay on the sidewalk," I ordered as I walked inside. I refilled my mug and poured one for Rosalie.

I returned to my front porch and handed Rosalie her coffee. "I'm glad you're outside. I wanted to talk to you, and I wasn't sure how to make it look nonchalant. _So_, about Edward Cullen," she began. The look on her face told me that she obviously wasn't pleased with the fact that Edward Cullen and I were friends.

"What about him? He's a nice enough guy. We're just friends, Rose," I explained. She held up her hand to stop me before I got too far into my tirade.

"Don't get defensive. I just feel like you need to know a few things before you go to the trouble of getting too close to him. He and Emmett have been good friends for a long time, so Emmett knows a lot about Edward's past. He's shared some of it with me, and based on the fact that I know your history, I'm going to share what I know with you because I think it's for your own good. I believe you should have all the facts before you and Jax get too attached to him. You've both been through enough, Bella," Rosalie informed between sips of coffee.

I decided that maybe I should listen to her because she had some valid points, though if Edward had secrets that would affect a relationship with me I supposed he should have been the one to tell me. "Okay, let me have it," I answered.

"Emmett and Edward are the same age and went to undergrad together, but when they graduated from college, Emmett went straight to medical school while Edward went to Italy. Apparently, while he was there, he met a woman named Gianna, and they had a child together," Rosalie began. _That_ was news to me.

"Edward's married and has a family in Italy?" I asked in disbelief. It didn't really fit the picture for me, but most of that picture had been painted by the brush that was the hospital grapevine.

"Um, no. He and Gianna never married. He was back here trying to straighten out the paperwork to obtain visas for Gianna and the baby to come to the States, and while he was here, she and the baby were killed in an accident. He and his parents went to Italy to try to find out what had happened, but Gianna's parents refused to talk to him, even going so far as to deny that there was a relationship and saying that the baby wasn't Edward's. They buried their daughter and the baby, a girl, without Edward's knowledge, and he never saw or heard anything more from them ever again.

"He went a lot crazy for a while, and then he seemed to settle down enough to go to medical school. Once he graduated, he accepted a residency in Boston, and he seemed to be okay, but then he started living this rock-star lifestyle, moving from one woman to the next. He got into trouble with a nurse in Boston, and he was dismissed from the residency program. That's why he's here. I don't know what kind of strings Esme and Carlisle had to pull to get him accepted here, but that's why Esme keeps him on such a tight leash. I'm not sure what his attraction is to you, but I fear it has everything to do with the fact that you remind him of Gianna and his daughter. I don't want you to get hurt, Bella. He's a great guy, but he's not what you and Jax need. I know I'm overstepping my bounds by telling you this, and Emmett will probably cancel the wedding if you tell him what I've told you, but I care too much about the two of you to allow Edward to live out some fantasy with you in order to work through his own bullshit," Rosalie concluded.

Fuck. That wasn't good news at all. I had enough shit of my own to deal with, and I wasn't doing the best job of coping as it was. The last thing I truly needed was for a man who'd suffered as much as I had to use me as a way to exercise his own demons.

"Um, wow. That's quite surprising. I won't say anything to Emmett about what you've told me because I don't want to cause any problems for you two. It explains a few things to me, though. Look, I need to, um, call Esme Cullen and cancel dinner tonight. I need to figure out how to make sure that Edward understands that all I want from him is friendship, and I'm afraid if I go to his parents' house for dinner, they'll tag team me and I'll get sucked into something that I can't handle. Thanks for telling me, Rosalie," I responded as I finished my coffee at the same time Rose finished hers.

"I know Edward was trying to get you to come to the wedding with him, and I'm going to guess in light of what I've just told you, you probably won't come at all, and that's okay. I'm really not being a bitch here. I just want you to avoid any more heartache than you've already endured," Rosalie explained.

"Thanks, Rosalie. I appreciate your candor. I'll let you know about the wedding. Maybe I'll come to the ceremony and skip the reception. I really do want to be there to see your wedding. Based on the wedding plans you've shared with me, I doubt I'll see anything like it in my lifetime," I replied. She smiled and hugged me, leaving me to go to her own home. I walked back into the yard and scooped up Jax, moving her bike to the front porch, and we went inside. I needed to pull a pretty good lie out of my ass to get us out of dinner at the Cullens, and I wasn't looking forward to it. Esme Cullen was a nice woman, and I truly hated to lie to her.

##

At 2:30 PM, there was a soft knock on my front door. I'd called Esme Cullen at 11:00 AM and told her that Jax wasn't feeling well and that I needed to keep her at home. Of course, it didn't hurt that Jax was having a tantrum in the background because I'd refused to let her watch "Blue's Clues" before lunch. After several minutes of hem-hawing around and an acceptance of a rain check, I was let off the hook. I breathed a sigh of relief and promptly fixed us lunch and then put my daughter down for a much-needed nap.

I walked into the hallway and saw a car in my driveway that I didn't recognize. I tentatively opened the door, praying it wasn't some religious group or magazine salesperson on the other side, completely unprepared for the harried man standing before me. "Where is she?" Edward Cullen asked, doctor's satchel in hand.

Of course, being the idiot that I was, I didn't think about the fact that the Cullens were a houseful of doctors, and any medical emergency would be a cause for alarm and send one of them running in our direction. "Um, she's asleep. Her fever broke after I gave her some fever reducer. I think she's just got a cold," I offered. I wasn't a convincing liar, as Jacob and my parents constantly told me, and I silently prayed that only people who really knew me could tell when I wasn't being honest.

"I didn't know you had a medical degree. Take me to her room, and let's be sure that's all it is," he ordered, sounding very pissed off. God, I didn't want to get caught in a lie in my own home.

"Edward, I'm sure that you've got better ways to spend your afternoon. If she still feels badly on Monday, I'll take her to see Dr. Whitlock. You didn't need to come over here to check on her. She's a kid. She gets bugs all the time," I offered, still blocking the door and not letting him inside. Of course, the arrogant jackass didn't listen to me and pushed passed me into the house. I closed the front door with a heavy sigh and followed him into my living room.

Without hesitation, he walked up the stairs and through the baby gate and I heard him walking down the short hallway to my daughter's room. "There she is," I heard him call. I shook my head as I walked upstairs to join the two of them, seeing that Jax was awake and appeared to be happy to see him.

"Redward, read this," she chanted to him as she handed him a book from her night table that we'd read before her nap. I stopped in the hallway and observed her sitting on his lap as he sat on the side of her bed.

"Sure. First, though, let's play a game. I'm going to take this and look into your ears to see if there are any monkeys hiding in there," he teased. She giggled and turned her head. I could see that she was completely smitten with him, and he could probably get her to let him brush her teeth without any problems whatsoever. I had to fight tooth and nail with her, and I'd stopped counting how many times she bit me. Baby teeth were like little razors.

After he looked in both ears, he pulled out an electronic thermometer and placed it in her ear. When it beeped, he looked at the screen. "Hmm, that's interesting. Completely normal. Miss Black does your tummy hurt?" he asked as he looked into her eyes.

"Nope," she answered, the little traitor.

"I'm going to listen to the music in your chest. Can you take a deep breath?" he asked as he warmed the stethoscope and placed it on her chest over her thin t-shirt. Of course, she did exactly as he asked. After a few more minutes of him giving her the once over, he packed up everything into his bag and picked her up, turning to look at me. Damn, he looked pissed.

"Well, we have a big problem," he announced. It was then that I started to worry. She'd been perfectly fine when she'd gone to bed earlier. If she was really getting sick, I wasn't looking forward to it.

"What…what's that?" I asked as I walked over to where the two stood. I immediately put my hand to her forehead, finding it completely cool.

"Her mother is a terrible liar and used her as an excuse to cancel a dinner date with my family. My mother worked very hard today making cookies and homemade macaroni and cheese, and she was very disappointed that you two weren't coming over. She was so worried about this one that she called Dad and me on the golf course and demanded that I come home and get over here to make sure that Jax is okay. You care to explain?" he asked. Jax squirmed, and he put her down. I watched her toddle out of the room and go to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. That left me alone in her room with the angry man glaring at me. Not the best place to be.

I was at a loss of how to explain it. I hated lying to Esme Cullen because she was a lovely woman, but what Rosalie had told me earlier had rocked my world, and I needed to figure out what to do with the information. That, of course, would take time and a lot of stewing for me.

"Look, go downstairs and help yourself to a soda or water in the fridge. I'll get her squared away up here, and then I'll be down and we can talk," I replied, trying to buy myself some time to formulate an excuse for my less-than-admirable behavior. I'd been brought up better than that, and at that moment, I actually cursed my parents for instilling such a sense of honesty in me.

After her hands and face were washed and her hair was combed, Jax ran to her room and grabbed the book and made a beeline for the stairs. "Walk," I yelled as she unlatched the safety gate and began her descent to the living room. I followed her and found Edward looking at photos of my family that I had on display in my living room.

"Your husband was a good looking guy," Edward observed, pointing to a picture of Jacob and I from the day we got married. It was one of my favorites.

"That's my daddy, but I don't knowed him," Jax volunteered. She walked over to where Edward stood and pulled on the leg of his shorts. He bent down and picked her up, and she proceeded to point to the pictures and explain who everyone was.

"That's Big Pop, and that's Gramma Ne and Papa Charlie. That's Miss Sue and Seth and Leah. They live at the beach. That's Momma and me on my birfday. When's your birfday?" Jax asked. Edward smiled at her, and it made my heart melt. She was pointing to a picture of the two of us at her first birthday party at my parents' house. I looked absolutely horrible, but Jax was adorable with her dark hair and dark eyes. She looked just like her father.

"In June. When's yours?" he asked.

"I be this many," Jax answered, holding up three fingers. I walked over to her and pulled her pinky up because she had a hard time remembering it.

"You'll be this many, and her birthday is in February," I answered.

She squirmed, and Edward put her down. She promptly pulled him to the couch and handed him the "Snow White" book in her hand that was one of her favorites. Even my three-and-a-half-year old had fallen under the Disney spell. I blamed my mother who loved all things Disney as much as my daughter.

Edward sat down and began reading to her while I went to the kitchen and poured two glasses and a sippy cup of lemonade. I knew I wasn't going to get out of telling him why I'd felt it necessary to cancel, and I wasn't sure how to explain it without throwing Rosalie to the wolves.

"Again," Jax chanted as Edward finished up the book when I walked back into the living room with Cheez-Its and lemonade.

"How about I'll let you watch 'Blue's Clues' now?" I asked. I needed to get it over with and get the man out of my house.

She looked at Edward and smiled. "You like Blue?" she asked innocently. I could tell he had no idea what the hell she was talking about, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Honey, I doubt Dr. Cullen watches Blue. Now, have a seat in your chair and I'll turn it on. Dr. Cullen and I are going to go to the kitchen and have grown-up talk for a minute," I responded as I slipped the DVD into the player and turned it on. She went to the corner of the living room and pulled out the little rocking chair that my parents had given her for Christmas the year before and settled in with her drink and a handful of crackers.

Once the DVD started to play, I picked up my lemonade and walked into the kitchen, waiting for him to follow me. I was pretty sure I'd soaked the pits of my t-shirt because I was sweating like crazy due to my nerves. He walked in behind me and sat down, obviously waiting for my attempt at an explanation.

"Look, I'm sorry I lied, and I'll call your mother and apologize, but I just don't want my daughter to get attached to you. You're a single guy with no encumbrances, and we come with an entire train load of baggage. She really likes you, and I don't want her to get hurt when you meet someone and don't have time to be our friend any longer," I offered. Hell, it sounded credible to me.

"Hmm. So that's what you think? That I'll befriend the two of you and move on when another woman comes along? Wow, you don't really think very highly of me, do you? You know, all of that gossip at the hospital is just that. Yeah, I've dated a few of the nurses and Dr. Volturi, but I certainly haven't gotten around as much as it's made out to be. I know all about the tweets and 'Cullen sightings', and all the women who _claim_ that I've slept with them, but it's exaggerated," he offered.

As I listened to him, I remembered something he'd said to me the night of McCarty's bachelor party. "So, you didn't double jacket, as you so tactfully put it, with Jane, and you're not concerned with whether I swallow or not?" I asked, hoping to remind him of his inappropriate, albeit funny, comments.

I saw his face redden and then a twisted look appeared. "Dammit, I actually said that shit to you? I hoped it was a drunken hallucination. I'm so sorry. I know how that shit makes me sound, but…fuck," he responded in a soft voice, all the while looking over his shoulder to be certain that Jax didn't come into the room and hear his profanity-laced tirade.

"Hey, I thought it was funny. I wasn't offended, but that just highlights the differences between us. You're a playboy doctor, and I'm a morgue tech with a three-and-a-half year old daughter. It's like night and day, really," I answered trying to put him at ease. It _was_ fun to watch him squirm, though.

"Look, you're not the only person who ever lost someone they loved. I've got my own shit to deal with, you know? Loss isn't exclusive to military wives," he snapped. He immediately looked sorry, and I could see it written all over his face.

"I, um, kinda know some of what happened to you. I know you've got your own…" I began. I didn't want to go down the path, but he opened the door.

"Fuck, did my mom tell you? She wouldn't tell me a goddamn thing about your situation, but when it comes to me, she can't…" he roared. I was about to tell him that it wasn't his mother when there was a loud rap at my front door.

"It wasn't Esme. I'll be right back," I announced as I went to the front door. I looked into the living room and saw that Jax wasn't even fazed by his outburst, so I went to open my door, finding Emmett McCarty looking very pissed off.

"Rosalie just told me what she did, and I'm so mad at her that I can't see straight. I saw Edward's car. Where is he?" Emmett barked. Before I knew what was happening, Edward flew out of my kitchen and was squared off in the hallway looking at Emmett.

"_Rosalie_ told her? Son-of-a-bitch," he snapped. I needed to get them out of my house before things got out of hand. Blue could only keep Jax's attention for so long, and with the heated words being exchanged in the hallway of my small house, I wasn't sure to what she'd be exposed. I'd slipped in the past and cursed in front of her, but I was pretty certain that the words that were going to be slung between the two men glaring at each other in my house were going to provide her with an entirely new vocabulary.

"Um, guys, maybe take this outside or over to McCarty's house. Jax really doesn't need to start pre-school with the curses you're likely to introduce to her," I suggested. The pair looked at me, and then headed out to my front porch. I closed the door behind them and went to the living room, turning up the television and hoping to drown out whatever the two men were saying to each other.

I walked into the kitchen to look out the window over the sink and saw a lot of arm waving and angry words being exchanged. I then saw Rosalie come out of her house across the street in shorts and a t-shirt, running over to my front yard. I suspected that was a miscalculation on her part. When Edward saw her, he went absolutely ballistic. It was so bad that I saw the Jensons walk out onto their front porch and sit down. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but when Emmett stepped in between an advancing Edward and a crying Rosalie, I knew I needed to get out there and put a stop to Armageddon in my front yard.

"Honey, I'm going to go outside. If you need me, come to the door," I called to her. She didn't answer, she merely waved at me, and then she was back in the hypnotic trance that accompanied "Blue's Clues."

I walked onto my front porch just in time to hear, "You have no fucking idea what kind of man I am now. I absolutely adore Bella and Jax, and the very last thing I'd ever do is use them to work through my shit, as you put it. You were way out of line, Rosalie. I planned to tell her everything, eventually. You don't start off a friendship with 'hey, you wanna compare sad stories and see who got fucked over worse by the fates?' You absolutely had no right telling my business to Bella. You need to just butt the fuck out," Edward ranted. Apparently, no one had heard me come out.

I looked over to my right and saw Jacob sitting in one of the wicker chairs on the porch with a smile on his face. "This is the guy you like? He's not the same guy who I talked to in the kitchen in Ft. Hood," he observed.

"Yeah, I know, but I suspect this is the real him. You know what she told me, right?" I asked as I sat down next to him on the other chair.

"Of course I do. What do _you_ think about it?" he asked. It was then that I realized that he was at my house in Forks, which wasn't somewhere I'd ever seen him before.

"I show up when and where you need me. I've never been here before because you've never _needed_ me here before. Apparently, when you need me, I'll just show up wherever," he responded. I nodded and turned back to the scene on the front yard.

"Ah, that explains it. So?" I asked. I was completely surprised that the three were suddenly silent and looking at me like I was crazy. I looked to my right and saw Jacob laughing, and it was then that I realized that I'd been talking to him out loud, and they couldn't see him like I could. I guessed that my time outside a padded room was dwindling.

"Bella, who are you talking to?" Edward asked. It was then that I wished I had a Bluetooth earpiece so that I could pretend that I was talking to someone on the phone. I didn't, so I needed to scramble with an idea that would explain my irrational behavior.

"Um, I was just thinking out loud. Sorry. Carry on," I tossed out. Thankfully, they turned back on each other and continued.

"Nice save," Jacob commented. I only nodded in agreement.

"Look, I don't know everything that happened, but I like Bella a lot and neither she nor her daughter deserve to be used for you to achieve some kind of closure," Rosalie ranted. It was the same thing she'd told me earlier in the day.

"I didn't know that with your real estate license you got the power to be omnipotent, Rose. Don't you need to pick out china or napkins or something? You need to butt the fuck out of this and allow Bella and me to figure it out without your meddling. This doesn't concern you at all," Edward snapped. He turned around and stormed up the front stairs, taking my hand and leading me inside my house without looking back at the two stunned people on my yard.

He walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch seeing my daughter in her comatose state as she talked back to the television. "I see talking to yourself runs in the family," Edward teased as he seemed to let go of some of the anger he was feeling a split second before. I sat down next to him, not quite sure what to do.

He looked at me and I could see the pain on his face. "Please, come to the house for dinner, and after we eat, I'll get Mom to play with Jax, and you and I will have a talk. I firmly intended to tell you about…Gianna and Chelsea, but I thought maybe you could get to know me a little more first. Much like you, I don't like the look of pity on peoples' faces when they learn about my loss. I know I was a dick to you in the kitchen, but I was caught off guard. I thought my friends and family would have the good sense to allow me time to explain things to you, myself, in my own time, but I clearly underestimated their desire to interfere. Please come over. Mom really was looking forward to it," he whispered. The compelling look on his face did me in.

"What will we tell your mother about Jax amazing recovery?" I asked.

"It was a bug. Kids get them all the time. I'll call her," he smirked, taking his phone from his shorts pocket and pressing a button which I assumed was a speed dial number. Hey, a guy who had his mother on speed dial couldn't be all bad, right?

_**End Note: **_**Well, I'm sure I gave you a lot to take in with that chapter. I told you big things were going to happen. Please let me know what you think. See you next Wednesday!**

**Till next time...xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday! I'm very excited to get you another chapter of the story. I'm also humbled by the reviews and the number of you who have put my story on alert! My gmail box overfloweth! Please, keep it up.**_

_**On to business…SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Shall we go to lunch at the Cullens?**_

4.

"Hey, Mom. Yeah, I'm at Bella's, and Jax is feeling better, so we'll be over in about…," he looked at me for an answer.

"Half hour?" I asked looking at the clock on the cable box to see that the entire production had taken an hour. It was 3:30, and we were originally supposed to go to the Cullens at 3:00. Apparently, we wouldn't be too late.

"Half hour. Yeah, I think it was just a bug. She's completely fine, though she seems to have some sort of adoration of a big blue dog. Yeah, that's the show. Okay, we'll see you in a bit," Edward announced over the line and then hung up.

"She actually knows the show. So, what do we need to take for Jax? I'm afraid that my parents don't have any toys or anything," he informed me.

"I'll get a few books and toys together. Jax, let's go change so we can go see Miss Esme. She wants us to come over for dinner," I announced. I saw her face light up as she turned off the television and scampered up the stairs ahead of me without any argument whatsoever. How novel.

"We'll be right back. Make yourself at home," I announced as I followed my daughter upstairs. I quickly changed Jax into a sundress and sandals, and I went to my room and pulled on a pair of capri pants and a clean blouse. I swept my hair up in a ponytail and quickly braided Jax long hair to keep it out of her face. We packed a small backpack that was a favorite of hers with books and a few puzzles, and we were back downstairs within fifteen minutes.

Edward was sitting on the couch looking at a photo album of Jax that rested on the shelf next to the couch, and when he saw us, he smiled and closed it. "You both look lovely. Bella, do you want to follow me?" he asked. Obviously, I did because I had no idea where the Cullens lived. I knew it was outside the city limits of Forks, but I had no idea where.

"Sure," I responded as I grabbed my purse and keys, turning on the hall lamp for when we returned later in the evening. Edward picked up Jax and carried her to the car, easily sliding her into the car seat that she hated, and we were off.

Twenty minutes later, we were driving down a long one-lane road that was hidden from the highway. The grounds were actually lovely. Luckily, there were clear skies, and the sun was sitting low in the sky, promising a beautiful sunset.

When we pulled up in front of the house, I was immediately taken aback. I heard a chuckle next to me and turned to see Jacob sitting in the passenger's seat. "Nice shack. Don't get all freaked out. You like the woman. It's just a house, you know. Are you actually going to give him a chance to explain things to you, or are you going to do that thing you do where you smile and nod and then stick to your original opinion without taking into account what was said to you?" he asked. I hated that he knew me so well.

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Jax completely enthralled with a book, so I turned up the radio and whispered, "I'm going to give him a chance to explain. I'm not a _total_ bitch, you know. Now, go away. If I get caught talking to you again, I believe the two shrinks I'm having dinner with will lock me up and take away our daughter." I looked to my right and saw the seat empty. Thank God.

Edward parked his car…a very sporty, expensive-looking, two-seater…in the garage and quickly jogged over to my little CRV, pulling the rear passenger door open and freeing Jax from her car seat just as the Cullens stepped out onto the front porch, each with bright smiles on their faces.

When Jax saw Esme, it was all over. "Mesme! Mesme!" she shouted as she wiggled from Edward's arms. He put her down, and she ran to the front porch bounding into Esme's waiting embrace. Esme hugged her and said something to her that I couldn't hear, and I saw a man who I assumed was Carlisle shake Jax's hand vigorously, causing her to laugh riotously.

"Well, seems she's got all _three_ of us wrapped around her little finger. Come on. I want you to meet my dad," Edward remarked as he picked up Jax's backpack and pulled me behind him to the porch. By then, Esme and Jax were inside the house, and Carlisle was standing alone waiting for us.

"And, you must be that adorable little girl's mother, Bella. It's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Carlisle, the third Cullen," he introduced himself. He shook my hand and clapped Edward on the back. The two men didn't resemble each other, which was understandable since Edward was adopted, but they had very similar mannerisms.

"It's very nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen. You have a lovely home," I offered by way of a response.

"Please, dear, Carlisle. We're so glad that Jax felt better to be able to come over. Es has been looking forward to it all day," he offered. I felt guilty for lying to the woman, but Edward squeezed my hand that he was still holding, and I didn't say anything. I guessed we were going to continue to go with the white lie he'd told his mother. I hoped he was a better liar than me.

When we walked into what I believed was either a living room or a family room, I was taken aback, yet again. I looked like the Mattel Company had puked all over the room. There was anything and everything you could ever imagine Barbie having, and Jax and Esme were in the middle of it, opening packages of clothes and boxes with dolls. "What the hell?" I whispered. Edward and Carlisle were laughing next to me.

Esme turned to us and smiled. "I had a bit of time on my hands today, so I went to Port Angeles to Target. I love Barbies. I couldn't get Edward to play with them when he was little, so I couldn't resist buying everything I could find, knowing that Jax was coming over," Esme offered. I looked at my daughter, and I could see that she was in love with the beautiful woman sitting on the floor cross-legged in front of her. Apparently, Esme Cullen knew the way to my daughter's heart, and it was paved with a Barbie Dream House complete with a blow-up pool and pool toys.

"She used to try to push that Barbie sh…stuff on me when I was little. It's a wonder I didn't turn out to be a drag queen or something similar. Thank goodness Carlisle came along and took me to the driving range or the batting cages. This whole thing could be going a whole different way, and I could be standing here with Yorkie," Edward teased. I laughed.

"Oh, if that was the case, he'd be in Barbie heaven. He believes that if he got a shot at you, he could change your orientation," I responded, eliciting a laugh from Esme and Carlisle. I didn't know if they knew Eric, but clearly they understood the intent.

"Yes, well, that's not exactly going to happen. So, Mom, since you're tied up, I'm just going to show Bella around the grounds. How long before dinner?" Edward asked.

"Ask Dad. I've already made Jax's dinner. Your father is responsible for the rest of it," Esme volunteered without looking at us. It appeared that she was trying to put a bathing suit on a Ken doll. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and thank the Mattel gods that Ken wasn't anatomically correct. I didn't want to have to explain the differences between men and women to my daughter just yet.

"So?" Edward asked Carlisle. Carlisle looked at the clock on the mantle and smiled. "5:30? I've got corn to shuck. Go, show Bella around," he called as he walked away, leaving us in Barbie Land.

"Shall we?" Edward asked as he took my hand and led me through the maze of pink boxes in the floor and out a set of French doors to a large deck. I looked around and admired the view. The gardens were beautiful, and they were just beginning to bloom.

As we made our way down the back stairs to the yard, I could see a stone path that led to a lower garden that appeared to be situated next to a river or creek of some kind. It was almost too beautiful to be real. "Who takes care of all of this?" I asked, envisioning an army of landscapers roaming around on a daily basis.

"Dad. Gardening and horticulture are hobbies of his. Since he and Mom moved here, he's semi-retired. He only sees patients a few days a week now, and the rest of his time is spent out here. There's a rose garden over there, and a vegetable garden over there, and an herb garden closer to the house. Let's go down here by the river. It's really lovely," he responded, placing his hand on the small of my back to guide me. The feel of his hand on me wasn't something for which I was prepared. It seemed quite intimate and not at all uncomfortable for me, which surprised me.

He guided me to a marble bench near the river. There was a plaque a few feet in front of it, and I strained to see what it read. Edward could see me struggling and he cleared his throat. "This is my daughter, Chelsea's garden. The stone reads, "In loving memory of Chelsea Carlotta Cullen. May 15, 2003 to April 10, 2004," he commented seeing my curiosity.

I quickly did the math and figured out that the child was short of eleven months old when he lost her. I couldn't help the tears that stung my eyes, quickly thinking about how I'd feel if I had the same tragedy in my life.

"I'm so sorry. I can't even…" I responded softly. I couldn't help but sniff. Edward reached into his pocket of his shorts and handed me a handkerchief, which I gladly accepted. I dried my eyes, and turned to see he had his own unshed tears.

"She'd have been about five years older than Jax. She had Gianna's hair and my green eyes. Now, before you start hearing Rosalie's voice in your head, I'm not trying to work out some issues by substituting you for my dead girlfriend. I live with two psychiatrists. Do you really think I'd get away with that shit?" he asked.

It made sense. "No, I know your mother. She's very good at her practice," I offered from personal experience. I was very sure that Esme Cullen wouldn't let her son get away with anything like that, especially living under her own roof.

"So, how'd you meet her?" I asked. If we were diving into it, I might as well get the whole thing in one heart-wrenching bite.

"I was at the _Piazza Navona_ in Rome. I was looking for the Fountain of the Four Rivers, and I stopped her to ask her directions. My Italian was straight out of the damn translation dictionary, and she laughed at me. Apparently, I'd asked her how to get to the _bathroom_ of the four rivers. She answered me in English, and I instantly fell for her. I was only supposed to be in Italy for a month, but I stayed for eighteen.

"After we were together for six months, she told me she was pregnant. I was working at the American Consulate as an analyst, and when Chelsea was born, I knew I had to get them back here with me. I was told by the lawyer we'd hired in Italy that I'd have a better chance getting them visas if I worked on it from the States, so I came home. While I was home, there was a car accident. Gianna was headed to the country to her parents' place, and it had been raining. Apparently, the car veered off the road, and they were both killed instantly. Her parents actually hated me. They said I wasn't good enough for her, and they were against us from the beginning, but Gianna didn't care…" he continued relating to me most of the story that Rosalie had already told me.

The tears on his face caused me to pull him into me and hug him tightly. I felt his pain coursing through my body, though if I was being honest with myself, he was suffering much more than I had suffered. I'd lost the love of my life, just as it seemed he had, but he'd lost his daughter at the same time, and mine was inside the house swimming in a sea of pink.

After a few minutes, he seemed to compose himself. "I know that I bring a reputation with me that maybe gives you cause for concern. Much of its trumped up, but I've fed into it with a few drunken nights, one-night stands with some of the nursing staff, and my massive mistake of dating Jane Volturi. I got my ass in a sling in Boston over a nurse, and you'd think I'd have learned my lesson, but I didn't. When Simmons announced, at Em's bachelor party no less, that he and Jane were having sex in the on-call room on a regular basis, it was all news to me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"I'd been looking for a reason to get out of it with Jane, but with her father being the Head of Pathology, and my reputation coming into the hospital, I was worried about it. I'm already on probation, so if I fuck up, I'm out on my ass. That's why Mom has suspended me twice. She told me if I fuck up again, she'll fire me herself. Then, you lifted that sheet from my head the other night, and even in my drunken state, I saw my salvation in your beautiful smile.

"I've had you on my radar since the first time I saw you, but I knew you had a daughter and I couldn't get anyone to explain to me exactly what was your situation. You're a great person, and I had no idea what you were going through because I could never get a straight answer, but you made me realize the shit-shape I was in. Thanks for that," he explained.

I didn't think I could take credit for his awakening, but I appreciated his position more than I thought I would. He was a broken individual, just like I was, and I wanted people to give me a second chance, so who was I to not give him a second chance, regardless of what Rosalie had told me.

"Edward, I'll go with you to Emmett and Rosalie's wedding, if you still want me to. I'd be happy to be your date," I answered without really giving it much more thought.

"Bella, thank you, but please don't do it out of a sense of pity. Like you said, I don't want anyone's pity," he answered as he sat up next to me and dried his eyes. I noticed my t-shirt was wet where his head had rested, and I began to pull it away from my body to dry it. I was pretty sure he didn't want to go into his parents' house and explain why my shoulder was wet.

"Of everyone you know, no one will ever understand the desire _not_ to see the head tilt of pity on someone's face. I want to go with you because I actually enjoy your company. If we have to go, then I think going together is the prudent thing to do. At least we can make fun of everyone together," I offered. Edward laughed.

The rest of the evening went along perfectly. The Cullens were absolutely wonderful to us, and when we left at 8:00 PM, I was reluctant to leave because we'd all had a great time together. I hadn't had that much fun in a very long time. Esme's pursuit of a promise from me that she could babysit Jax the night of the wedding and my agreement to her pitch was enough to allow us our leave, and when Edward carried my daughter out to the car, I couldn't help but smile.

"So, I'm not on again until Tuesday. Maybe I could come to Hell and steal you away for dinner on Monday night. How about 8:00? That's the middle of your shift, right?" he asked as he placed a tired Jax into her car seat, buckling it expertly. He kissed her forehead and she smiled at him.

"Night, Redward," she whispered before she dropped off again. Esme had completely worn her out, and I was actually grateful.

"Dinner on Monday is doable, but call me before you leave to come in. You never know what's going to happen," I responded as I tossed the backpack in the passenger seat of my SUV. I saw two Barbie legs sticking out of the zipper, and I knew that even though I'd protested about them sending things home with us, some of the world of Barbie was in that damn backpack.

"I will. Thanks for coming over and thanks for hearing me out. I like the fact that we've sort of cleared the air. Next time, we'll need to discuss your husband," he responded. I knew it was a discussion for another day, so I merely nodded in agreement. Edward hugged me as he opened my door for me, and we left.

As I settled into bed that night in one of my own t-shirts, I wondered what would happen with Edward Cullen. It felt like he'd bared his soul to me, and he'd asked for nothing in return except for my listening ear. That wasn't what I expected from him at all. I never expected the arrogant, sexy doctor to be so vulnerable. It was a new side of him that I pondered as I fell asleep.

##

"Bells, you seem distracted. It seems that everything went well," Jake remarked as he sat across from me, drinking his coffee. I picked up my mug and contemplated what he'd said.

"Well, I did what you thought I wouldn't do. I let him explain himself. Am I making a mistake by trusting what he says? Fuck, Jacob, I don't know how to read the man," I complained. He laughed, as I suspected he would.

"Bells, you're developing feelings for him, and it's scaring you. I think it's great that you let him explain himself. When are you planning to tell him about me?" Jake asked as he set his mug down on the table. I looked around and saw that not one thing was different in the little house than it had been the last morning that we'd shared coffee before he left, with the exception of Jake's appearance. The last time I saw him alive, his hair was very short, and he was wearing his ACUs. The man sitting across from me was still wearing the sleeveless t-shirt and torn jeans that I'd grown to love over the years with his long straight black hair pulled back in the familiar leather wrap.

"I'm not sure. I think things need to go slow, so I guess I'll wait until he asks. Isn't that the thing to do?" I asked him as I sipped the tasteless coffee.

"Slow is probably good. I wouldn't wait until he asks, though, because that makes it seem like he needs to drag it out of you and it makes you look like you're reluctant to talk about me. You talk about me and to me all the time. Don't stop doing that with Edward because he's been through hell just like you have, honey. His hell might be a little deeper than yours, but don't push him away. It seems like you two have a link of some kind. Maybe it's the loss you've both suffered, but don't write him off because of what Rosalie told you. I think he explained it pretty well, don't you?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah. I feel really bad for him. If I'd have lost Jax on the heels of losing you, I swear I'd have done myself in," I answered.

"Now, none of that talk. We've talked about that a couple of years ago, and you've gotta raise our daughter. You don't have the luxury of thinking about offin' yourself. I'm actually amazed that Cullen could live through the loss without doin' something rash. I don't think I could have," he answered.

We sipped our coffee and didn't say anything much more to each other. After a while, he looked at me and smiled. "Okay, well, I'm gonna go. You've got a while before you gotta get up, but it seems we've settled things for tonight. I love you, Bells. I'll see you tomorrow night," he remarked as he kissed my lips. I didn't feel it, but I knew he'd done it.

"Good night, Jake. I love you, too," I called. I shut off the light in the kitchen, and I woke up in my bed. I looked at the clock and saw it was only 4:00 AM. I fell back to sleep for the first time in four years without any other dreams. It was a new frontier for me.

##

Days went by, and Edward and I were becoming closer. We had dinners when he wasn't on duty, and he came down to Hell, as he referred to the morgue, when he was on duty. We talked, and I told him a little bit about my life with Jacob. He came to our house for lunch sometimes when he had a day off, and the three of us got to be very good friends. He adored Jax, and as much as I worried about it, she adored him. Rosalie and I had reached a truce with regard to my relationship with Edward, and things were actually going well with her.

Jake and I continued to have our coffee…me relating my days and nights, and him commenting along the way, but I noticed that the time we spent together gradually got shorter, and I worried about it because I didn't want to lose him. We'd spent a long time together, and I wasn't ready to let go of him. He seemed to be making room for Edward Cullen to be in my life, and I wasn't sure what to do about that.

The day of the wedding, my parents were leaving bright and early for their getaway, and I'd had to take off on Monday night because they wouldn't be back until sometime on Tuesday. I didn't want to think about what they were doing, regardless of Jake's speculation in our quick conversations in my dreams, because I never wanted to think about my parents doing anything remotely sexual.

Esme and Carlisle were set to watch Jax on Saturday night while I was at the reception with Edward. They'd even offered to keep her overnight, but I declined because I was worried that Jax would freak out about being in a different house when she woke up, Barbie heaven aside.

Edward and I had made arrangements for me to drop off my daughter and my car at his parents' house after the wedding and ride with him to the reception venue so that I'd have the car seat to take Jax home after the reception.

The wedding had been absolutely lovely. I'd taken Jax with me, and she'd been captivated by the whole thing. She wanted a veil immediately, which caused me to laugh. "Momma, I want one," Jax had whispered, which wasn't really a whisper. I saw Edward turn toward her voice and smile at us. He winked at me as I tried to calm her down. I'd already had to contain her from running up to the altar to "Redward" when she saw him, and I didn't really need her causing a scene because she was coveting the bride's veil.

After the ceremony, the bridal party went outside for the receiving line, and I continued to wait inside with Jax for some of the people to clear out. Edward quickly came back inside the church as I was trying to usher the two of us out so that I could take Jax home and change her into play clothes before taking her to the Cullens. He stopped us before we got outside and picked up Jax, kissing her cheek sweetly. "You look pretty," he told her. I'd bought her a new dress for the occasion, and she did look adorable.

"Fank you, Redward. I want a white blanket like Rose," she responded as she watched the photographer taking pictures of the wedding party. Rosalie's veil _was_ stunning.

"Not _too_ soon, I hope. Come on. Let's get the man to take your picture," Edward remarked as he pulled me from the pew and carried Jax to the front of the church. He looked yummy in his tuxedo, and I caught myself getting a little warmer than necessary in the air-conditioned church as I watched his ass while he walked up the aisle.

I could see that Rose wasn't pleased to see Edward holding my hand as we approached the front of the church, but Emmett glowed at seeing the three of us together. "Baa Baa Blacksheep, you're here. Look at my girl. You look absolutely perfect. Let's get a picture with you and me and Rosie," Emmett announced as he took Jax from Edward's arms.

I watched the photographer pose the three of them, and I couldn't help but laugh as I saw my daughter pull on Rosalie's veil and fidget it on her head as well. The picture was perfect because Rosalie saw what she was doing, and she laughed heartily. I was surprised at it, and immediately, I wanted several copies of it. The next picture found Rosalie taking her veil off and placing it on Jax's head. The two were sitting on the steps of the altar, and it was, yet again, perfect.

"That's probably going to be one of the best pictures of the day," Emmett remarked next to us.

"She's perfect, isn't she? She's just like her mother," Edward whispered. I pretended not to hear him, but Emmett patted him on the back and whispered something to him that I didn't hear.

"Yeah, likely," Edward responded. Once the picture was taken, I quickly ran to the altar and salvaged Rosalie's veil before my daughter took off with it. I placed it back on Rose's head, and I smiled at her. She looked at me for a moment and hugged me, mumbling an "I'm sorry" before she pulled away. I wasn't sure for what she was sorry, but I didn't have time to dwell on it.

"Can I get one with the three of us?" Edward asked the photographer. He picked up Jax and pulled me next to the two of them. The man took the picture, and I couldn't help but smile. Edward put Jax down and went over to the man talking in low tones. I looked at my beautiful daughter and saw her father all over her face.

I couldn't help but squat down, tottering on my modest heels, to speak to her. "Someday, you'll have your own wedding, and we'll make sure you have a veil just like that," I told her. I couldn't help but tear up because the fact that her father wouldn't be there to walk her down the aisle weighed heavily on my mind.

Jax put her hands on both sides of my face and looked me square in the eye. "Momma, Memmett wouldn't like it if you cried today. It's a happy day," she announced quite confidently. That didn't make the tears stop, but it did make me laugh through them. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye, and I turned to see Edward standing next to the photographer.

I saw him whisper to the man and hand him money, and then he walked over to where we stood. "So, let's go get Jax changed and settled at the Barbie Castle. Mom's chomping at the bit to get her there. Apparently, Dad's made hot dogs for her and there's homemade ice cream. I think I heard it was chocolate," Edward announced as he picked Jax up and blew a raspberry against her cheek causing her to squeal.

I prayed to God that I wasn't making a huge mistake by letting him get so entrenched in our life. She adored him, and I found myself feeling the same way. If he left us, we'd both be hurt, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to take the chance.

We drove to his parents' house where I was to leave my car, and we dropped off my daughter. She didn't even seem to register that I was leaving her there. When Edward and I climbed into his sports car to leave for the reception, he had a shit-eating grin on his face that begged the question.

"What's that about?" I asked. He grabbed my left hand and kissed it, and he laughed at my question.

"I'm happier than I've been in a long time. My mother hasn't lit up like that in all the years that I've been cognizant that she has feelings. They are _so_ looking forward to tonight, as am I. That's all because of you. My parents never got to meet Chelsea, and seeing them with Jax makes me wonder how they would have been with my daughter," he responded. Over the time we'd spent together, he'd gotten more comfortable talking about his past, and I understood what he meant. I didn't really talk much about Jacob, and he never pushed me, for which I was truly appreciative.

I couldn't comment because I was fighting the tears at his statement, and he didn't press me. We arrived at the hotel in Port Angeles where the reception was being held, and Edward opened my door helping me from his car. "Bella, I didn't tell you earlier, but you look beautiful tonight." All I could offer was a blush and a smile.

I had to sit alone at a table in the middle of the ballroom because Edward was in the wedding party and had to sit at the head table. The discussion at my table was lively, but I didn't know anyone there. I talked to a realtor who thought I should sell my house because the market was looking up, and a plastic surgeon who suggested that I should get a little Botox for the crease between my eyes. I wasn't happy about either suggestion.

When the music started, I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Jasper Whitlock standing next to me. "Mrs. Black, could I beg you to dance with me. There's a very odd guest giving me the eye, and I'd like to fend her off," he asked. I gratefully took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor.

We danced to two songs before he made his intentions known. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I answered as I tried to covertly ascertain the whereabouts of one Edward Cullen, my date for all intents and purposes. When I saw him at the bar talking to a woman who was absolutely stunning, all bets were off and I was pissed.

"I'd like to take you out for a date. I know with your schedule and mine, it could be difficult to coordinate, but I'd very much like to see you outside of the hospital," Jasper informed. I inhaled deeply, mostly because I wanted to see if he was drunk. When I didn't smell alcohol on his breath, I knew I had to consider his request seriously.

I looked to my left again and saw Edward laughing heartily with the small brunette, and I decided that I had nothing to lose. "Sure. Um, are you busy tomorrow? Jax will actually be with me, but I can make brunch at my house. Why don't you come over?" I asked, which was completely unlike me, but I didn't like seeing my supposed date talking to another woman so I wasn't actually paying a lot of attention to the shit coming out of my mouth. In my mind, Edward should have been the man twirling me around the dance floor…not Jasper Whitlock.

"A home-cooked meal? That sounds great. What time?" Jasper asked. I had no idea that the man even knew I existed outside of the fact that he was my daughter's pediatrician. His impromptu request for a date was quite a surprise to me.

"Is 11:00 too early?" I asked. I figured it would give me enough time to fix breakfast and look presentable before he arrived, but it would be early enough that I wouldn't have to entertain him for the whole day. I had chicken in the refrigerator that needed to be fried anyway, and God knew I had plenty of eggs and bacon, so I thought I could throw together a respectable brunch.

When the song ended, Jasper kissed my cheek and led me back to my table. "I'll see you at 11:00 sharp. I'm looking forward to it, Bella." With that, he was gone. I wasn't sure if I was happy about it or pissed off that Edward spent that much time away from me to allow another man to ask for a date.

What the hell I was doing entertaining a date from yet _another_ man was beyond me because I'd just opened myself up to the possibility of one man being in our life who wasn't my husband. I wasn't sure what the fuck to do about Edward Cullen, much less Jasper Whitlock.

The rest of the evening was actually pleasant. I danced with Edward a few times, and he danced with the short brunette a few times. I danced with Jasper more than I did Edward, and we got to know each other, which threw me completely off kilter.

At midnight, Rosalie and Emmett left, and then we all made our way to our cars. Edward took me back to his parents' house and helped me get Jax into the car. "Thank you for a nice night," I commented after my sleeping daughter was buckled into her car seat.

"I think that should be reserved for Whitlock. I'm not sure what happened tonight," he responded, seeming put out.

"Um, I think a very pretty brunette happened. It's fine. We're just friends, and you owe me no explanations," I replied as I climbed into my CRV.

"Bella, it wasn't what you thought. Alice is Emmett's little sister. I knew her from visiting Emmett's family when I was in undergrad. I haven't seen her in years, and she didn't really know anyone else there. I tried to get you out of Jasper's inappropriate groping to introduce you, but that became nearly impossible," he answered. Yeah, that's what they all say.

"Edward, we're friends. You can date anyone you want. I'll talk to you soon," I replied. I drove away, seeing him on the drive of his parents' house looking agitated. He should have thought about that shit before he ditched me for a college girlfriend whether she was Emmett's sister or not.

##

"So, you had a big night, what with two men vying for your attention," Jake commented as we sat at the small table in our little house once again.

"Don't make it out to be more than it was. Edward and I are nothing more than friends. Jasper actually asked me on a date. I had to figure out how to do that with Jax around, so I invited him over for brunch," I defended.

"Hmm. That's interesting. Well, she likes him, so it won't be a big deal. Look, I'm not pointing a finger here or anything, but don't traipse a lot of men through Jax's life. She's bound to get confused, and I'm afraid she's too young to understand what's going on," Jake suggested. He was right. I was stupid for inviting Jasper over the next day. I should have just thanked him politely but declined. I hadn't dated in so long that I had no idea how to handle it, and apparently, I wasn't good at it.

"I know you're right. Should I call and cancel it?" I asked. He didn't appear to be jealous or anything, he was just stating an obvious fact that I should have taken into consideration.

"No, don't cancel, but why don't you make it a group thing? Emmett and Rose aren't leaving on their honeymoon for a few days, and if Emmett's sister _is_ in town, maybe you should meet her. You like Emmett. She's probably a lot like him. You might also want to invite Edward and get a look at him and the McCarty woman together. That way, you can tell if there's more there than just friends," Jake suggested.

"That's a good idea. I'll call them when I get up in the morning. So, did you see Jax at the wedding?" I asked. I had no idea if he was there or not because I didn't see him there.

"No. I guess you didn't need me there. You've gotta quit feeling guilty about the fact that I'm not going to be there to walk her down the aisle. It's a fact of life, honey, so you need to get used to it. Now, the car needs the oil changed, so call Embry and ask him to do it, and while you're down there, go see Dad. You haven't been down to see him in a while. It's time for you to get up," Jake announced and then disappeared. Moments later, I felt a poke on my forehead and opened my eyes to see Jax standing by my side of the bed smiling.

She had a pink corvette with Barbie and Ken firmly ensconced, Barbie behind the wheel. "That's very feminist of you. How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Good. It's light out. I'm hungwy," she responded. I hauled myself out of bed and made quick work of my morning routine.

When I opened the bathroom door, I found her pushing the car around my bedroom floor making motor sounds, and I couldn't help but laugh. Apparently, she had her father's love of fancy cars in her soul. It also appeared to me that Esme Cullen was planning to send Barbieville home with her, one piece at a time. I'd have to head that shit off before _my_ house was a sea of pink. Jax had more toys than she knew what to do with as it was. We didn't need the world of Barbie to add to it.

After she was dressed, I called over to the newlyweds' house, having seen Emmett's Hummer in the driveway. "'Lo?" I heard his raspy voice.

"Dr. McCarty, how are the newlyweds?" I asked with a laugh. I could hear Rosalie mumbling in the background.

"Tired and hungover. How about the Black girls?" Emmett asked, sounding happy to hear from me.

"We're calling to extend an invitation for brunch to you two and your little sister. Dr. Whitlock is coming over, and I seem to have a lot of chicken, so maybe you three want to come over and join us?" I asked hopefully.

"Hang on," he responded. I heard muffled mumbling, and then Rosalie's loud laugh.

"Yes, we'd love to. Apparently, now that we're married, my wife informs me that I have to do half of the cooking, starting with breakfast this morning. You're my ace in the hole, Blacksheep. I'll call my sister. She's at a bed and breakfast across town, and she's supposed to come over this afternoon while we open gifts. We'll just eat at your place and then move the party over here while Rose and I inspect the loot," Emmett suggested. It sounded like the perfect way to keep it from seeming like a much more intimate date with Jasper.

"That sounds great. I'll call Edward and see if he wants to come," I suggested. I couldn't help but feel my pulse race at my own suggestion.

"He'll want to, I'm sure. What time?" Emmett asked. I told him what time and declined his offer of bringing anything. After good-byes were said, we hung up, and I called Edward and left him a message on his cell, hoping that he'd show up. After that, I called Jasper because I owed it to him to alert him of the change of plans.

"Hello?" Jasper asked. I had his number because he was Jax pediatrician, and he'd been kind enough to give me his cell in case of emergencies. As I dialed, I wondered if that was the real reason he'd given it to me in the first place.

"Hi, Jasper, it's me, Bella Black. Look, I wanted to give you a call and let you know that brunch is actually turning into a group thing. I invited Em and Rose, Em's sister, and Edward," I announced. I heard crickets.

"Um, the reason is because I don't want to confuse Jax. If you still want to take me out some time, maybe we can go just the two of us. I need to be very careful about having men around Jax. She knows we all know each other, but I'm afraid she won't understand why you're _here_ and we're not meeting you at your office. I think you can see how it could confuse her. If the others are around, it'll seem more normal for her," I explained.

"Oh, well that makes sense. Okay. I'm still invited, right?" he asked. I couldn't believe he agreed with me so easily.

"Of course you are. I'm looking forward to seeing you. I need to go and begin frying chicken or there won't be a brunch to eat," I responded. He laughed and we hung up. I was pleased that he understood my position, and I was actually anxious to meet Emmett's sister. I could lie to myself and say it was just because she was Emmett's sister, but deep down, I knew it was because I wanted to see if there was anything between her and Edward.

_**So, Bella's a little jealous? That's interesting. Next chapter will be the brunch which will include Dr. Cullen's reaction to Jasper's attention toward Bella…stay tuned.**_

_**Let me know what you think please! **_

_**Till next time..xoxo.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy Wednesday! Thank you for your reviews and favorites and alerts. It's been wonderful to see them in my inbox. Seems a number of you think our Dr. Sex Hair is a jerk, while some of you seem to really hate Bella. Quite a split, I have to say. Maybe this chapter can change a few minds.**

**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Brunch anyone?**

5.

At 10:30 AM, the doorbell rang. I'd just placed the fried chicken in the oven to keep it warm, and most of the rest of brunch was ready. All I needed to do was change clothes, having grabbed a shower earlier after Jax had her bath.

I looked down at my sloppy t-shirt and shorts and decided that it didn't matter who was at the door. I was comfortable and I'd made a truckload of food. Whoever was early would just have to accept the fact that I liked to be comfortable when I cooked.

When I opened my door, I chuckled to myself. What to wondering eyes should appear but two pissed-off doctors bearing flowers, champagne, and imported beer. I couldn't hide the laugh that bubbled in my chest at the scowl on each of their faces. "Hi, guys. Come on in. You're both a little early," I called to Edward and Jasper as I stood aside to let them in.

"I thought I'd come early to help…" they replied in unison. Of course, I laughed again. Just then, Jax, likely having heard Edward's voice, flew into the hallway and launched herself at him, which seemed to illicit a smug laugh from him as he looked at Jasper.

"Redward," she squealed. After he put everything down on the counter, he picked her up and hugged her, kissing her cheek like always before she squirmed out of his grasp. It was then that she noticed Jasper. "Dr. Jazz," she called as she walked over to him. Jasper leaned down and hugged her, and then handed her the small bouquet of flowers, seeming smug in his own right.

"These are for you, Jax. How's Blue?" Jasper asked. Of course, being a pediatrician, he was up on all the cartoons that his young patients obsessed over because he needed things to talk to them about to distract them during examinations. He obviously remembered that Blue was Jax's favorite.

"Fine. Come on," she responded, taking each man by the hand and leading them to the living room. I laughed and went to the kitchen to check that everything was okay before I went upstairs to change. I shoved the bottles of champagne and the six packs of beer into the refrigerator and found a vase to put the flowers in that each man had brought. They would make a lovely centerpiece.

I walked into the living room seeing the three of them sitting in the floor as Jax demonstrated her newest acquisition and explained to them that the occupants were a momma, a daddy, and a Jaxie. It was then that I noticed that stuffed into the Corvette between Barbie and Ken was a doll that resembled a small child. I knew exactly where that came from.

"Dr. Cullen, a word?" I asked as I watched him give Jasper a haughty smirk, rising from the floor and following me into the hallway. I had to head off the onslaught of Barbie, and I had to start with Edward.

"With what can I help you?" he asked as I pulled him by his Polo shirt down the hallway out of earshot of my daughter.

"You can help me by not bringing anymore of that Barbie shit over here. _You've_ been in her room. That girl needs more toys like I need another hole in my head," I hissed under my breath.

"My mom sent it. Why's Whitlock here?" he snapped back.

"As I mentioned in my voicemail, I'm having everyone over for brunch. It was originally going to be just the three of us, but I decided that maybe it would be better to have the whole group. I don't want to confuse Jax," I answered.

"So, you're seriously going to go out with Jasper while you're dating me?" Edward asked. It was the first _I'd_ heard that we were dating. I thought we were just friends getting together.

"You never mentioned anything about the fact that our spending time together was dating. As a matter of fact, last night you appeared to be the most dateless guy at the reception," I snapped back.

"I told you that it wasn't what you thought. Alice is Emmett's little sister and nothing more. She doesn't like to be in large groups of people, and I was just trying…wait. I see what you're doing. No, no, no, we're not getting off topic here. We're seeing each other, and now you're tossing Whitlock into the mix? Well, I think I'll come out on top of this one. Now, I suspect you were going to change, so go ahead. I'll take care of Jax," he announced confidently. I could do nothing more than shake my head and ascend the stairs to my room. At times, he was such a pompous ass and it drove me crazy. The thing was, though, he was absolutely adorable at the same time.

I changed into a skirt and tank top and went back downstairs. Jasper and Edward were putting together a puzzle, and my daughter was in her _Blue_ coma. Apparently, she'd talked one of them into putting the DVD on for her. The two men appeared to be arguing quietly, and I was straining to hear what they were saying. Just then, the doorbell rang again.

I opened the door to see Emmett, Rose, and the small, beautiful brunette from the wedding reception. She looked like a porcelain doll, and I could see why Edward was attracted to her because she was stunning. "Hi Bella, I'm Alice. I'm sorry about monopolizing Edward's time last night, but, um, I'm a bit agoraphobic in situations like that, and he was keeping me company so that I didn't just bolt. He did, however, tell me about you. You're lovely," she announced as she pulled me into an unexpected hug. She really wasn't much taller than Jax, if I was being honest.

"Um, hey. Welcome," I responded feeling overwhelmed. The three walked into my house and followed the sounds coming from the living room which could only be described as whisper shouting. I wondered how Jax didn't hear them, considering she was sitting not three feet from them.

"You're butting into something that's none of your business," I heard hissed.

"No, _you're_ butting into something that's none of _your_ business. We've been seeing each other for weeks, and you don't hit on another guy's girl," I heard the response. As Alice entered the room, all hissing stopped.

I walked in behind her to see both men staring at Alice, and I saw the unmistakable look of awe on the face of one Dr. Jasper Whitlock. I knew immediately that I wouldn't have to worry about dating him. From what I could tell, the man had been completely disarmed by the young woman with just one look.

"Hi, I'm Alice," she announced as she walked over to where he sat in my living room floor. "Jasper," he responded as he took her hand and kissed it. Well, I was out.

"Blacksheep, where's the food? I'm starved. You know…with all the sex…" Emmett began as Rosalie reached up and clapped her hand over Emmett's mouth with a smack.

"You d-i-c-k…there's a child in the room," she shushed at him. When she moved her hand, you could see the outline of it on his face. I was pretty sure it must have hurt, though I appreciated that she shut him down before he said something completely inappropriate in front of my daughter.

"I'll set everything out in the kitchen, buffet-style, and then everyone can eat wherever they'd like," I announced. I left the room and began placing all of the food into serving dishes around the counter. I felt more than heard someone at the kitchen door, and I half expected it to be Jake. It wasn't. It was Edward.

"Well, now that I've eliminated the competition, what can I help with?" Edward asked, rubbing his hands together like a villain in a silent movie.

I handed him a bowl and a skillet full of scrambled eggs. Without missing a beat, he began dumping the eggs into the bowl. "I think Jasper Whitlock eliminated himself when Alice McCarty walked into the room," I responded after I ascertained the whereabouts of the rest of my guests.

"Oh, Alice's last name isn't McCarty. She was a foster child who Emmett's parents raised. Her last name is Brandon, though based on the looks between her and Jasper, it could be Whitlock pretty soon. If I'd known they'd have hit it off so quickly, I'd have quit giving him withering glares last night and introduced them. It would have saved us all a lot of unnecessary bullshit," Edward offered. I laughed at his astute observation. As I'd perceived earlier, the pediatrician who'd asked me for a date had fallen for the young woman at first sight.

"Yeah, I think you're right. Anyway, what was that little whisper fight you two were having?" I asked as I placed the fried chicken onto a serving platter.

"He seemed to think that you were interested in him and I was explaining to him that you weren't," Edward answered as he began placing the biscuits into the bread basket on the counter. He seemed to be very good at figuring out what needed to be done and had no problem doing it without direction.

"That's very presumptuous of you," I responded as I pulled a stack of plates out of the cabinet. I actually enjoyed the argumentative air that our discussions sometimes took. It was something to which I wasn't accustomed.

"I know the truth when I see it. Now, it seems that everything is ready. I'll get everyone," Edward announced. We all filled our plates, and Emmett made mimosas for everyone with the champagne that Edward and Jasper had brought with them.

When we'd all finished eating, having witnessed Jasper and Alice feeding each other which was nearly like watching a porno movie, the dishes were rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher. I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly 1:00 PM, and I knew that Jax would need to go down for her nap, so I was prepared to beg off of going to the McCarty house to open gifts. My daughter…china… stemware… bull…china shop.

"Um look, I think Jax and I are going to stay here and she's going to take a nap. We'll see you guys later," I announced.

"Nonsense. Jax can help us open packages, and if she gets tired, she can take a nap at our place. You're not getting out of this, Blacksheep. If I've gotta do it, you're gonna do it," Emmett announced. Rosalie scooped up my daughter, along with her Barbie car and occupants, and they walked out of my house before I could protest.

"Bella, can I speak with you alone?" Jasper asked shyly. I nodded and the rest of the group left without us.

"Look, I'm sorry about…" he began nervously. I couldn't help myself…I had to let the guy off the hook. He couldn't help that he'd been immediately smitten by the young brunette.

"Jasper, stop. You owe me no explanation. She seems delightful, and I'm sure you two will be very happy with each other," I responded.

"God, you saw it, too? She's incredible. I've never met her in all the time I've known McCarty. I've heard Emmett mention her before, but not often. I didn't really see her at the reception, but when she walked into that room today, that was it for me. I'm sorry that things didn't pan out between us. I hope we can still be friends," Jasper replied. He was very sweet to try to let me down easily, but he needn't have tried. I wasn't actually feeling more than friendship for him in the first place, so there really wasn't a letdown.

"Don't worry about it. So, should we go before your young lady gets the wrong idea?" I asked. Jasper laughed and kissed my cheek. We walked across the street, seeing Edward and Alice sitting on the front porch waiting for us, both looking very upset. I tried to keep from laughing, but I didn't have it in me. Apparently, they were both worried about what was taking place in my house.

"So, everything okay?" Edward asked venomously.

"Yes, things are just fine. Now, shall we go watch the excessive display of consumerism that would be the wedding gifts for the wealthy doctor and the realtor?" Jasper asked.

Edward rose from his seat and took my hand, leading me inside the house without looking back. When we entered the house, I saw Rosalie and Jax sitting in the floor amongst a plethora of white paper-wrapped boxes and bows. Emmett was watching a baseball game, and when we walked into the room, he muted the TV and rubbed his hands together.

"Let's get to the loot," he called as he plopped down in the floor next to Rosalie. For the next three hours, we watched Jax and Rosalie tear into boxes as Emmett paid half-assed attention to what was going on. Apparently, the Mariners were ahead by three runs, and he wasn't going to be dissuaded from watching the end of the game, no matter how many place setting of Wedgewood where accumulating in his living room.

After all of the packages were opened, Rosalie jumped from the floor and went out of the room, returning a minute later with a small wrapped box. "Little Missy, this is for you," she called, handing the box to my daughter.

"Me?" Jax squealed. She quickly ripped open the paper and pulled the lid off of a shirt box. Inside was a clear plastic comb with a bit of tulle attached.

"A white blanket!" Jax called. Rosalie immediately affixed it to her head, and then for the next hour, my daughter proceeded to play "wedding" with everyone in the room except me. I was to officiate. Her Ken doll, clad in green and blue flowered swim trunks, was her escort, and she enjoyed herself to exhaustion.

At a point after we all had pizza that evening, she climbed up on the couch and fell asleep as we helped Rosalie haul everything into a spare room. I walked to the couch and picked her up, immediately feeling a hand on my back. "Let me," Edward insisted. He pulled her from my arms and propped her veil-clad head on his shoulder.

"Bye everyone," he whispered as he grabbed my hand and led me out the door with him. We crossed the street to my house and I let us inside. I ushered him upstairs where I proceeded to remove her shoes and veil, placing it on the table by her bed, knowing that if she didn't see it the minute her eyes opened there'd be hell to pay, and I quickly tucked her in, kissing her forehead. I was surprised when Edward did the same.

We went back downstairs, and I was suddenly nervous as to what to do next. "Would you like something to drink?" I asked. It was the first time that the two of us were alone…well, mostly alone…in my house. The few times he'd come for lunch, Jax had always been there to act as a distraction.

"Got anymore lemonade? I'm on at midnight," he offered. I didn't know he was supposed to work that night, but we hadn't really talked since before the McCartys' wedding. The night before had been a disaster, and I didn't know if he was going to bring it up, but I had no intention of so doing. I'd been able to watch him with Alice Brandon, and I saw nothing but sisterly affection, so my jealousy from the previous night left me feeling embarrassed. I had no claim to the man, and he was free to date anyone he wanted, just as I had told him, but I couldn't help but be jealous of his attention to Emmett's little sister. Of course, she was perfectly lovely once I got to know her, so that only added to my guilt.

I poured us each a glass of lemonade and went into the living room, handing him the glass and sinking down on the couch next to him. He looked tired, and I wondered whether he should go home and try to sleep for a few hours before he went to work.

"You look tired. Maybe you should go home and sleep for a while," I suggested as I sipped my drink.

"Um, I was wondering if you minded if I just crashed here on your couch for a while. You're a lot closer to the hospital than my parents' place," he requested. I certainly couldn't deny him his request because, in all honesty, I just didn't have it in me.

"Sure. I'll get you a blanket, and I'll go watch TV in my room," I offered. It was only 7:30 PM and I wasn't tired at all, but I'd gladly allow him to sleep on my couch for a while.

"No…please don't go. I can sleep through anything, I promise. Just stay here next to me," he responded as he slipped off his shoes and lie back on my couch with his head on my lap. I was stunned until he handed me the remote before he emptied his pockets onto the coffee table and appeared to settle in.

"Go ahead. Watch TV. I just need a little nap," he urged. I put my feet up on the coffee table and let him settle his head on my lap with his feet crossed at the ankles over the arm of my couch. I flipped on the television and settled in to watch a Lifetime movie. Midway through, he flipped on his stomach and wrapped his left arm around my back and his right arm around my legs like I was a pillow. Without a lot of thought, my right hand found purchase on his back and gently moved up and down his spine. I didn't even realize I was doing it until he hummed in contentment. I immediately stopped and surveyed the scene. It wasn't something for which I was prepared, yet it had all happened without my notice. I didn't know what that meant.

"So, this is cozy. I see that Whitlock is out of the picture. Are you ready to give that guy a shot yet?" I heard from across the room. I looked in the direction of the chair in the corner and saw Jake sitting there with his right leg crossed over his left and that cocky goddamn smile on his face.

"How'd you end up here?" I whispered. I seriously needed to check into a mental hospital. It was all becoming completely ridiculous.

"_You_ tell _me_. I only show up when you need to talk about shit. Maybe you should talk to Romeo there about things instead of talking to me," Jake replied sarcastically. It wasn't anything I wasn't used to from him. It was one of the things I actually loved and missed about him the most.

"I'm confused," I confessed. It was true. I didn't know what Edward and I were to each other, but he seemed to have a clear idea of it, even though he wasn't letting me in on the secret.

"What do you _want_ to be to him?" Jacob asked. I really had absolutely no idea how I wanted him to regard me. I knew there were feelings buried deep inside me for him, though I tried to tamp them down when they reared their ugly heads. I wanted to be ready, but I just wasn't, and I had no idea what to do about it.

"I don't know. That's the problem. I'm a married woman, and here I am with a friend lying in my lap. That's not normal," I whispered.

"Bells, it's perfectly normal, and honey, you're not a married woman any longer. You're a widow. You need to look into your heart and acknowledge the fact that you have feelings for the guy and give him an actual shot. I know you're worried about you and Jax getting hurt, but he seems sincere," Jake observed. He was right on that count.

I thought about what he said, but I wasn't sure how to take it. Was he really saying that I should let another man try to fill the void I felt since I'd lost him? That couldn't be right. My Jacob was a very jealous, possessive man. The Jacob sitting in the chair in the corner almost seemed resigned to the fact that I'd be spending time with another man, and maybe even making love to another man. It wasn't the first time I'd contemplated Edward Cullen naked. With his head in my lap, it was a whole lot easier to visualize _certain_ things that made my body tingle in a way it hadn't in a very long time.

"Yes, Bells, I anticipate that at some point, you'll have sex with another man. I'm not completely thrilled with the idea, but I know it's inevitable. You're a beautiful woman, and I, of all people, know how much you actually enjoy sex. Remember the cabin?" Jacob asked.

I remembered the cabin which was likely where Jax was conceived. We'd made love everywhere in celebration of our marriage. We hadn't waited for marriage to have sex, but something about finally being Mrs. Jacob Black renewed the spark. Maybe it was the fact that I knew he was going to be deploying and I needed to feel him next to me while I could, but we were insatiable during our quick honeymoon.

"Of course I do. I don't know if I'm ready for _that_ step yet," I answered. Edward Cullen was a very attractive, sexy man, and I was convinced that if I were ever to contemplate having sex again, he'd definitely be a man who could restart the engine in me.

"Would it bother you if we did it? You wouldn't show up and watch, would you?" I asked feeling guilty for even contemplating it.

"I only show up when you need me. I'd guess if that guy was putting the moves on ya, you wouldn't need or want me anywhere around. So, no, I doubt I'd be anywhere near anything like that. Now, it's about time for him to wake up. Love you, Bells," Jake responded and then he was gone.

My eyes snapped open, which surprised me because I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep, and I looked at the clock on the cable box and saw it was just after eleven. "Edward, it's time to wake up," I whispered to him as I scratched my nails through his incredible hair. I couldn't help myself…it was right there, after all.

"Mmm. Just a little longer, babe," he whispered as he pulled me closer. I couldn't help but laugh a little because he sounded like a little boy who didn't want to get up for school.

"Um, you need to wake up so that you can go to work," I whispered in his ear. I actually couldn't help myself and took a healthy sniff of him. He smelled so damn incredible.

He rubbed his face against my right thigh and sighed. He flipped over and sat up on the couch. "How long was I out?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"About four hours. Do you want me to make you some coffee or do you want to shower?" I asked. I missed the heat of him on my lap, and I was completely gob smacked by it.

"No. I'll shower at the hospital. You work tomorrow night, right?" he asked, and I nodded in agreement. I hated Mondays, but if he was working and maybe we could have dinner, maybe it wouldn't be a horrible Monday after all.

"Have dinner with me? I'm on until Wednesday morning, but I'd like to see you again while you're on duty. I'm glad I elbowed Whitlock out. Now, what are you doing tomorrow?" he asked as he fastened his watch on his wrist.

"I'm going to see my father-in-law and get my oil changed. I'll be in at 4:00. Dinner sounds good. I'll bring something. I'm kind of sick of cafeteria food. The garden behind the emergency room is actually in full bloom," I announced.

"That sounds perfect. Whitlock aside, I enjoyed spending time with you and Jax today. I'll see you tomorrow evening," he responded as he rose from my couch. I walked him to the front door not sure what to expect.

I reached for the knob, and he stilled my hand, looking deeply into my eyes. "Bella, I don't really like the idea of you seeing anyone else. I know we haven't had the talk about what we're doing here, but until we figure it out, it's going to drive me crazy if I think someone else is in the picture. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a chance to talk to you about it tomorrow night. I truly enjoy spending time with you and Jax. You're both very special to me, and I was about ready to pull my hair out when I thought you were going to date Whitlock. Will you give us the opportunity to at least talk about it?" he asked. Hell, I couldn't _not_ give him the opportunity to explore what the hell we were doing, right?

"I won't entertain another man's advances until I talk to you tomorrow evening, Dr. Cullen. I don't actually work that fast, but Girl-Scout's honor…no other dates between now and tomorrow evening. Good-night, or should I say good-morning? I hope it's very calm for you," I responded. He leaned down and kissed my cheek and then he was gone. It was very sweet, though I actually wished he'd have kissed my lips.

That night, I didn't dream of Jake at all. I woke with a start at 7:00 AM when the alarm went off, and I couldn't believe it because it was the first time in nearly four years that I hadn't talked to him in my dreams. I chalked it up to talking to him in my living room while Edward slept with his head in my lap. That's what I was telling myself anyway.

"Are we there yet?" Jax called from her car seat. I'd made a casserole for Billy, and we were headed out to La Push for Embry to change the oil in my car and for the two of us to spend time with Jacob's dad. I felt guilty that I hadn't seen him in nearly a month, so I brought food.

When I'd called Billy that morning, I could hear how excited he was that we were coming down. He told me he'd call Embry, and he was anxious to see us because he'd really missed us. That only tossed gasoline on the flames of guilt that were consuming me for my abandonment of him. I loved him like a second father, and I was ashamed of myself for having stayed away for so long.

"We're here," I announced to Jax as I pulled into the driveway seeing Embry and Billy on the front porch. Embry ambled off the steps toward the CRV and it reminded me of Jacob more than I wanted to admit. His hair was shorter, but his demeanor was just like my husband's. I fought hard not to cry, just like every time I spent time with our friends from the reservation. It was a constant reminder to me of all the time we'd spent there during high school and everything I was going to miss for the rest of my life.

"It's been too long, Bella," he announced as he opened my car door and pulled me from it. He hugged me tightly and then quickly released me. He opened the backdoor and pulled Jax out of her car seat with a raspberry kiss on her cheek. "How's Miss Jax? What's that?" Embry asked looking at my daughter with the make-shift veil perched on her head. I couldn't talk her out of wearing it and gave up the will to fight that morning.

"She went to a wedding over the weekend. Here's the key and the oil is in the back. Lunch will be in an hour," I responded as I pulled the casserole out with me and walked to the porch, hugging my father-in-law.

"Bella, honey, it's been too long," Billy remarked. I knew he was right, and I felt awful about it.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I've just been busy," I answered trying not to show the guilt I felt. I wondered to myself if parents took a class on guilt. My mom, dad, and Jacob's father could make me feel guilty without effort. Hell, if I really thought about it, Esme Cullen had that ability as well. I wondered if I'd ever have that power over my daughter.

"Big Pop," Jax squealed as she scurried to the porch. She hopped up on his lap as he sat in his wheelchair, which added more guilt, and hugged him tightly. He'd been in a car accident that had taken Jake's mother's life and Billy's ability to walk, and his daughters didn't seem to have the same sense of obligation to take care of him that Jake had felt. I remembered cooking the two of them many a dinner over the years that Jacob and I dated. If I didn't cook for them, they'd have eaten bologna for every meal.

"What's this on your head, baby girl?" Billy asked her as he pulled out of the hug while I stood on the porch with the casserole in hand.

"It's my white blanket. Rose got married and she made it for me. I'm married now, too," she announced confidently as she scurried down from his lap and turned around to show him the veil. He looked at me for clarification.

"My neighbors got married and she was at the wedding. She became enthralled with the veil, and Rosalie made one for her. We spent yesterday afternoon with her getting married to everyone in the room at the McCartys' house," I answered as I opened the front door and waited for him to wheel himself inside. It took him three tries to get up the ramp, and that worried me. He wasn't able to walk, but he was a strong man who'd always been able to get around. The fact that he was having a problem worried me.

I put my hand on his shoulder once he was inside, and I saw how winded he was. "Billy, are you sick?" I asked. My hand instinctively went to his forehead, and he was burning up.

"Fuck, you're sick. Why didn't you call me?" I chastised. I was supposed to be taking care of him and I'd let him slip through the cracks. It was yet another thing that I'd screwed up because I was too involved with my own life. That wasn't good at all.

"It's a mild infection. I saw the doc three days ago and he gave me an antibiotic. I'll be fine. Now, what did you bring for lunch?" he asked.

"Bullshit," I announced. I went to the kitchen and looked for the medicine, finding nothing. I opened the refrigerator and saw that there wasn't much food inside.

"William Ephraim Black, have you been eating?" I snapped accusatorily. I knew the answer before he opened his mouth to lie.

"Bella, honey, I'm fine. I haven't had a chance to get someone to go to Forks and fill the prescription, but I'll be fine," he responded and then began hacking and coughing. I was immediately pissed.

I ran out the front door and yelled, "Embry? Come to the house, please."

Embry peaked out of the garage and saw me frantic on the porch and ran to the house. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Billy's sick. Can you get him into his bed? I can't lift him by myself," I pleaded. He nodded and went inside. I went to the house phone and called my dad.

"Chief Swan," I heard with a laugh in his voice. I was sure he thought Billy was calling him to go fishing.

"Dad, it's me. Billy's really sick. Can you come down here? He needs to have a prescription filled, and nobody's been taking care of him," I snapped. It was my own fault. It was something Jacob asked of me before he deployed, and I'd made him a promise. I was a complete failure, and I couldn't help but break down.

I wiped my tears and went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and found an old-fashioned thermometer. I cleaned it up, shook it down, and walked into his bedroom finding that Embry had settled him into bed. Luckily, Jax was playing with a wooden toy that Billy had for her in the living room and she wasn't aware of what was going on.

"Open," I commanded. He did so without argument, and I placed the thermometer in his mouth. I adjusted the pillows behind him to make him more comfortable, and I saw Jake standing in the corner watching me.

I waited a few minutes and pulled it out of his mouth and saw it registered over one hundred two degrees. "That's it. You're going to the hospital," I snapped at him. I wasn't mad at him…I was ashamed of myself for neglecting him.

"Bells, I have two sisters who should have been looking after him. Don't you dare take this on yourself," Jake called from the corner of the room.

"Bullshit. They're so fucking self-centered that they can't see the forest for the trees," I responded without thinking. I picked up the house phone to dial 9-1-1, and Billy grabbed it from me.

"I have doctors down here, and my disability won't cover a hospital stay. Just get the prescription filled. I'll be fine," he announced.

"Ha! That's a load of crap. I've got money…your son's money. You're going to the hospital in Forks, and that's all there is to it. Damn you, old man, for not calling me," I screamed as a new raft of tears fell.

I called for an ambulance, and then I called Edward. His phone was off, so I called Jasper. "Whitlock," I heard. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hi Jasper. Look, I know Emmett's out, but I'm bringing my father-in-law in by ambulance. I tried Edward, but it went to voicemail. He's a bit old for your practice, but he's got a fever of 102.2. He looks like he could be dehydrated, and he's a cantankerous son-of-a-bitch. Can you get someone to meet us?" I asked.

"I'll find Cullen. This is more up his alley than mine, but I'll be here when you get here. We'll take care of him, I promise," Jasper assured. I hung up and paced while I waited for the ambulance.

"Jax? Come here," I yelled. Embry was standing by the door looking dumbfounded.

"Yeah, Momma," she asked. I looked at Embry hoping he'd snap out of it.

"Embry is gonna take you over to Miss Sue's house for a while. I'm gonna take care of Big Pop, and I'll pick you up later. You behave yourself," I told her. That seemed to snap him out of it. He picked her up and carried her out of the room.

"Wait," I called. I gave him the casserole I'd made to give the Clearwaters as a thank you, and I sent them on their way just as the ambulance showed up with my dad right behind them.

"Bells, how bad is he?" Dad asked.

"I don't know, but he's running a fever and he's dehydrated. It's my fault, Dad. I haven't been down here to check on him in a month, and I promised Jake that I'd…" I began before I broke down. I'd put my own needs before those of the people I loved, and it was a horrible mistake.

##

I climbed into the ambulance with Billy, holding his hand and crying the whole time. "I'm so damn sorry. I should have been here. Why the hell didn't you call me?" I begged. If something happened to Jacob's father, I didn't know what I'd do.

"Bells, don't take this on as your fault. My dad is fifty-six years old. He knows how to dial a phone. This isn't your fault, honey," Jacob told me as he sat next to me in the ambulance.

"It's my responsibility. It's the one thing you asked me to do, and I didn't do it. It's every bit my fault," I snapped. I saw the EMT look at me like I was crazy, but I didn't care.

"So, you still talk to him?" Billy asked behind the oxygen mask. Apparently, he knew how crazy I was, and I didn't have the heart to lie.

"Yes. Every night. He asked me to do one thing, and I failed miserably. I'm so damn sorry," I answered, continuing to hold his hand.

"Bella, don't be silly. I'm an old fool. I knew I was sick and I should have had one of the kids or Sue go get the prescription filled for me, but I didn't. This isn't your fault. You know, I used to talk to him all the time until I let him go. I got to the point where I knew that I had to let him go. Our legends teach us that spirits staying with their loved ones until the need to have them there is no longer. He'll stay as long as you need him, but it's been four years, honey. You need to let him go, just like I did. It's hard, I know, but he won't leave you until you tell him you'll be okay," Billy explained before the EMT put the mask back over his face.

Luckily for me, we were at the hospital and I didn't have to answer him. When the doors opened, I was relieved to see Edward waiting with an anxious look on his face. I climbed out quickly, and the EMT began spouting information as he and Edward pulled the gurney out of the ambulance. Unfortunately, Jessica Stanley was with him, but Edward seemed to be taking in the information and was spouting orders to her as we all ran into the hospital.

They wheeled him through the doors, and Edward skidded to a stop. "Bella, sweetheart, stay here. Where's Jax?" he asked.

"The Clearwaters are watching her. Please help him…it's my fault he's so sick. I'll pay everything I have. Just make sure he's okay. It's the last thing Jacob asked of me and I've failed miserably," I sobbed. Edward hugged me and pushed me into a chair in the waiting room.

"I'll do everything I can. Stay here. I'll be back when I have news," he assured. At least I knew I had a good doctor for him.

"Bells, honey, you're not in the wrong, here. Call my sisters," Jacob instructed. I walked out of the ER entrance and called Rachel and Rebecca. Neither picked up, but that didn't surprise me because they never liked me. I left messages and walked back inside, seeing my dad sitting in the chairs next to my purse.

"Shit. I haven't been down to see him in two weeks. He made mention of a fall he took, but he said he was okay and I didn't think anything of it. I don't wanna lose my best friend," Dad remarked. The tears started all over again. I hugged him, and we sat there together for a while.

My mom blew into the room looking crazed, and I wasn't sure what to tell her. "How is he?" she asked as she sat down next to my dad, taking his hand in comfort.

"We don't know yet. We're still waiting," I responded. For an hour, we heard nothing. I was about to go storming into the ER when Edward came into the waiting room.

"Okay, here's what's going on. Dr. Simmons has decided that he needs to be MedEvac'd to Seattle. He took a spill a few weeks ago and broke his right leg. He didn't know it because of the paralysis and an infection has set in. He's going to lose the leg, but he understands it. We can't do that difficult of a procedure here, so we're sending him to Seattle. He wants to see you, Bella. I'm going to go with him in the chopper to make sure they understand everything," Edward informed. I couldn't help myself but hit the floor. It was too much. I shouldn't have been so wrapped up in myself. I should have been looking out for Billy. If I'd been there for him, I'd have known and taken him to the doctor and the whole mess could have been avoided.

"God, I…shit," I sobbed as I hugged my chest. It nearly felt as bad as when that fucking chaplain told me that Jacob was gone. I remembered having to call Billy. I'd called Sue Clearwater first, and she and Harry went to Billy's house to wait for my call. It was the news I never wanted to tell him. I remembered the phone hitting the linoleum in his kitchen and hearing Sue on the end of the line saying they'd take care of Billy. My heart broke all over again.

I felt strong arms around me, and I was picked up without my consent. I was being carried to the chairs, and when I opened my eyes, I found that Edward had me on his lap. "Listen to me. He told me you'd blame yourself and he said that he was depending on me to make sure you didn't. He wants to talk to you, but you've got to calm down, love. He says it's his own fault that it's gotten this bad because he was too proud to tell anyone what happened. Now, you need to get yourself together because the chopper will be here in about half an hour. I'll make sure he's okay, I promise you," Edward vowed. He kissed my forehead and dried my tears. I didn't deserve his kindness, but he was right there giving it to me.

Five minutes later, I was led to Billy's room. I found him sitting upright in bed talking to Bree Tanner. Apparently, she was on duty in the ER that day, and I wasn't exactly happy with her being his nurse. "There's my Bella. Come here, daughter. We need to have a talk before I go in a flying coffin for the first time in my life," he joked. I didn't know how he could have such a blithe attitude about it. I was a nervous wreck.

"Morphine," Edward whispered to me. I couldn't help but laugh at the revelation because it was as if he read my mind.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on the side, taking Billy's hand. "William Black. If I could turn you over my knee, I would spank you," I teased as the tears cascaded down my face.

"I bet that young man over there wishes you'd say the same thing to him," Billy joked back, looking at Edward. I turned to see him blushing, and then the two of us burst into laughter.

"I'll be outside if you need me," Edward called as he left us alone.

"Listen to me, little one. This is all going to be okay. Do you know that Dr. Cullen is in love with you?" Billy asked.

"What?" I shrieked. Clearly, the painkillers were playing tricks in my father-in-law's mind.

"Remember when I found out that Jacob was sneaking out at night and crawling into your window to stay at your house? He told me he couldn't help himself because he was in love with you and he couldn't be away from you that long. He had a look on his face that I remembered when I thought about his mother. That's why I never grounded him or told Charlie about it. That's also why I took him to the store and made him buy condoms. Anyway, I knew my son was head over heels in love with you.

"When I asked Dr. Cullen what his intentions were with you, I saw the same look on his face as I saw on my son's. Bella, that man loves you. It's been four years, honey, and Jacob's not coming home. Now, I have every faith that I'm going to be fine, but in the event that something happens to me, I want a promise from you," Billy asked. Again, I was attributing his words to the morphine.

"Billy, please don't talk like that. I can't lose another person I love," I sobbed.

"I'm gonna be fine because I'm too damn mean to die. Have a little faith, Bells. Anyway, give the man a shot. He and I talked about Jax, and his face lit up like he was talking about his own daughter. You need to open your eyes and see what's in front of you and waiting for you. You can't stay buried in the past, daughter. Jax needs a father, and you need a man to love you. Give Dr. Cullen a fair chance. If he doesn't measure up, then I'll kick his ass with the half-assed good leg I have left. Now, call my other two daughters and tell them to get their selfish asses to Seattle. Go get Jax and go home. I'll call you in a couple of days," Billy told me.

Just then, Edward came back into the room and walked over to me, gently placing his hand on my back in a very comforting manner. "I talked to Mom, and she'll take Jax for a couple of days. I just need your house keys so she can go there and get stuff together for her. She said she'd throw something together for you as well if you wanted her to. I know there's no way in hell you're not going to come to Seattle with us. I've got you covered for your shifts, and I booked us a hotel in Seattle," he related. I was shocked at the level of planning he'd put into it.

"How's our stuff going to get to Seattle?" I asked. The helicopter was set to show up any moment, as I was told.

"Dad's going to bring it with him. He's going to drive down to Seattle to help, if he can. Now, keys?" he asked. I reached into my pocket and handed them to him without question. I was amazed at the fact that a family that barely knew me was willing to pitch in and do things that Billy's own family wasn't.

"Bells, listen to Dad. He's telling you what I've been trying to tell you all along. You're just too damn stubborn to listen. As much as I hate to admit it, I think Cullen's in love with you. You need to decide how you feel about him. Listen, honey, leave me here. Got to Seattle with Dad and make sure he's okay, but don't take me with you. Let's see how that goes. I'll just make sure Jax is okay. One of us should be with her, right?" Jacob asked from the corner of the room. I nodded. I didn't want to answer because I knew I'd sound crazy, but I believed I could do as he asked. At least, I hoped I could.

**Well, I'm certainly interested in knowing what you all think! Please drop off a little 'hi' if you're a lurker. I'd love to hear from you.**

**Till next time…xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Thank you so much for your reviews. I read each and every one and my husband makes fun of me because of the smile on my face. Big hugs to all of you!**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Meet me at the bottom for some news. **_

_**\\\\**_

Chapter 6

I was sitting at the kitchen table in our house in Ft. Hood, waiting for Jacob to show up. I'd told him I would try to leave him behind in Forks, but with everything that had happened that day, I needed him.

Billy had undergone surgery, and it was a waiting game to see if he would make it. His heart was apparently weak from the infection, and the surgery had been tough on him. After we were told that we wouldn't be able to see him anymore that night, Edward and his father, who'd driven to Seattle to bring us clean clothes, insisted that we get food and go back to the hotel. Edward and I were sharing a room, but it had two queen-sized beds.

After a quick shower, I put on my pajamas and went to bed, and as I dozed off, I could hear Edward in the shower. I must have snoozed before he got into bed because I didn't hear another thing until I heard myself calling for Jacob in the kitchen of the house in Ft. Hood.

"Jake, come on. I know what I told you, but I really need to talk to you," I pleaded. I heard someone behind me in the room, and I turned to see Edward walk into the kitchen and sit down next to me in the familiar scrubs and white coat with the stethoscope around his neck.

"Bella, why don't you talk to me about how you're feeling? I'm lying in the bed right across the room from you. I think if you'd wake me up and talk to me, I'd surprise you with how much I want to support you," he suggested.

"Look, you've got your own shit. I can't burden you with my mess," I responded.

"Bella, if I wasn't more than willing to take on your stuff, I wouldn't be sleeping in the bed in the same room with you. I wouldn't have blown off my job and insisted that my chief resident give me emergency leave for me to make this trip, and I wouldn't have sat with you holding your hand, waiting for you to talk to me. I wouldn't insert myself into your life as I've done, and if you didn't believe that I was ready to take on your shit, I wouldn't be sitting here next to you in a place I've never been before explaining myself to you.

"Wake me up, dammit. I want to be there for you, because if I didn't, I'd be somewhere else, and we both know it," he insisted. With that, he rose from the chair and walked off. I jerked awake and rubbed my eyes trying to figure out what the hell a _living_ Edward Cullen was doing in my dreams. Apparently, the latest stress with Billy's condition had sent me over the edge.

I opened my eyes, turned on my side, and saw Edward sitting up on the side of his bed, watching me and looking very wide awake. From what I could tell, he was only wearing a pair of boxers, and his naked torso caused my heart to speed up to a very dangerous level.

"Are you okay? You were shouting in your sleep," he informed. I was grateful that the room was mostly dark because I was certain that I was glowing bright red with embarrassment at both, my outburst in my sleep and my ogling of his hard body.

I sat up in the bed and swung my legs around, mirroring his position on the side of my own bed, completely aware that I was only wearing a tank top and sleep shorts. I supposed Esme thought it was what I slept in and that's why she packed the outfit. When I sorted through my suitcase, I wasn't really left with a lot of choice. "I'm sorry. Apparently, I talk in my sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. I usually don't shout," I answered quietly.

Edward scooted back on his bed to the far side and patted the empty side next to him. "Get in," he replied. Without hesitation, I rose from my bed and walked to his, climbing in next to him. He covered us up and wrapped his arm around my back, pulling me closer so that my head was resting on his naked shoulder. The heat from his body was seeping into mine, and I found it strangely comforting. I chalked it up to sleeping alone for four years.

I knew I needed to talk to him about what was going on with me before he jumped to the logical conclusion that I was certifiable. "I'm afraid that if I lose Billy, it's going to be like losing Jacob all over again. After Jake was killed, I spent a lot of time with Billy. I've known him for so long, and he's like a second father to me. His daughters are horrible women, and I've been the one taking care of him for a long time. When Jake went off to boot camp, I actually stayed with Billy while I was going to community college. He's the last connection to Jacob that Jax has, and I'm afraid that without Billy around to tell her stories about Jacob and the tribe and spend time with her, she'll never really get a sense of what a great man her father was," I confessed as my tears fell on his naked shoulder.

"Tell me about him. You haven't really told me much about Jacob except that the two of you were sweethearts for a long time and you were only married for three weeks before he deployed. He sounds like the kind of guy with whom I could have been friends," Edward remarked.

"Well, I'm not sure if you and Jake would have had a lot in common besides the fact that you're both exceptional men, but everyone who ever met Jacob liked him. He was easy going most of the time, but he was very protective of the people he loved.

"He loved tinkering with cars, and he and I used to discuss the idea that after he got out of the Army, he wanted to open his own garage in Forks. Every night we talked about the future and made grand plans. We were going to have three children, and we were going to build a house near the water so that Jacob and our son could just walk down the hill and go fishing. I'd taken computer classes and thought that I'd probably get some type of job as a secretary or something, but I didn't care. My family, or the idea of family, was more important to me than a career.

"We even discussed that maybe if we got to a point where we were making enough money to take care of our family, I could work part-time or even quit my job and stay home with the kids. That was actually a dream of Jake's…to be able to support his family so that I didn't have to work. He was old-fashioned like that," I explained.

It was suddenly incredibly easy to open up to Edward about my life with Jacob. He gently stroked his hand up and down my back and listened. That meant more to me than anything. "It sounds like Jacob and I might have had more in common than you'd think. It also sounds like the two of you loved each other very much. I can understand how that would make it impossible to get over the loss," Edward replied.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked propping myself up in his chest to better see his eyes. I didn't want to cause him pain, but I needed to ask him something.

"Sure," he answered honestly.

"Did you love Gianna in a way that makes it impossible to get over her?" I asked. It seemed like something I needed to know.

"I loved her very much, and I don't believe I'll ever be _over_ her death, but I've learned to live with it and even make peace with it. I realized I'd have to address the grief and work through it if I ever wanted to have another relationship in my life, and I guess I have in my own way. Dealing with my daughter's death, though, has proved to be far more difficult, as I'm sure you can imagine," he answered.

"Have you gone to counseling?" I asked. I wasn't exactly the poster child of successful grief counseling, but it had helped…some. Although, I was pretty sure talking to my dead husband would garner a big "F" on my mental health report card.

"I've talked to my mom and dad, but I've never gone to a group like you attend. Has it helped?" he asked. I needed to actually be honest and let the guy know just how crazy I was, so I decided to come clean about a few less-than-desirable glitches in my emotional and mental armor.

"Uh, I don't think I'd judge Reverend Weber's grief support group based on _me_. I talk to my dead husband, or maybe shout at him, in my sleep," I confessed waiting for the shock to appear on his face.

Surprisingly, it didn't. "What do you talk about, if I can ask?" he responded which surprised me. I assumed he'd be packing his shit and getting as far away from me as he could, but he only played with my hair.

"Whatever happens to be on my mind at the time. It's been explained to me that it's just me having a discussion with my subconscious, but it manifests itself in the form of Jacob. We used to talk about everything, and I guess I can't let that go. Though, tonight, I was actually sitting at my kitchen table in Ft. Hood talking to…_you_," I confessed. Might as well cut the whole crazy cake at one time.

"What were we discussing?" he asked nonplussed.

"Um, that I should talk to you about what's bothering me. You told me that I should wake you up and talk to you about my fears related to losing Billy. You told me I needed to give you a chance and not just assume that you had enough of your own shit to deal with in your life that you couldn't or wouldn't want to help me deal with mine," I answered. I looked at him, and even in the dark, I could see a smile on his face.

"I'm a smart son-of-a-bitch…even in_ your_ dreams," he joked. I couldn't help but playfully slap his chest.

"Yeah, well, anyway, I'm just really worried about losing Billy," I surmised.

"Bella, I can assure you that the surgeon who operated on Billy is one of the best orthopedic surgeons in the business. I had Dad call in a favor yesterday and get Dr. Gerandy to take Billy as a patient. It all rests in God's hands now," Edward assured. I was sort of surprised at his statement, but I supposed I shouldn't have been. The entire family was compassionate and had treated Jax and I very well. It shouldn't surprise me that Carlisle Cullen would call in a favor for a man he didn't even know because he was important to _me_.

"I truly appreciate how your family has treated Jax and me. I mean, Billy means nothing to them, but they haven't hesitated to bend over backwards to help us with anything we need," I offered. It was the truth. The Cullens had gone above and beyond the call of duty on more than one occasion.

"We regard you as an extension of family, Bella. You and Jax have a firm place in the Cullen clan. Now, if there's nothing else you want to discuss, we should get some sleep. You can see Billy in the morning at 8:00. I gave them my cell number in case anything happened during the night, and my cell is right here on this table," he announced as he pointed to the nightstand on the other side of the bed nearest him.

"Thank you for everything. Good night, Edward," I responded.

"No thanks necessary. Good night, sweetheart," he answered, kissing the top of my head sweetly.

He was right. All I needed to do was give him a chance. He was supportive and attentive, and I never thought I'd find that with anyone other than Jake. I had a lot of things to think about.

##

"There's my girl," Edward called as we walked into his parents' house having just returned from Seattle. My parents had relieved me at the hospital and sent me home with Edward and Carlisle. They were going to stay with a friend of my dad's for the week and keep tabs on Billy, but that left me in a huge lurch with regard to what to do with Jax in the evenings while I worked.

I'd spoken to Sue Clearwater, and she'd volunteered to stay at my house a couple of nights while they were gone, but she had her own family to care for, and I really didn't feel I could impose. Edward suggested that his parents would take care of Jax, but they'd already done more than I could ever thank them for, so I politely declined even with Carlisle protesting in the car all the way back to Forks. I needed to find a solution, and I was hard pressed for what was the answer.

"Redward. Where's Big Pop?" Jax asked as Edward scooped her up.

"He's still at the hospital, but he's getting better and better every day, and he asked me to give you a big kiss," Edward informed her as he gave her a big smacking kiss on her cheek, causing her to laugh uncontrollably.

"Jax, I need to call Embry and get him to pick us up. Take me to where your things are and let's get you packed up," I announced. She wiggled from Edward's arms and ran off in the direction of the stairs, and I quickly followed her.

She led me down a hallway to an open door and dragged me inside. When I looked around, I was in shock. It looked like the Mattel Company had made another drop and the room where Jax had been sleeping looked like a fucking toy store. "Where'd all this stuff come from?" I asked.

"Mesme says it's _my_ room. Lookey," Jax pointed to a campsite that had been set up in the corner of the room. Apparently, Barbie liked to rough it in the great outdoors in an RV, complete with battery-operated Tiki torches and a fake campfire.

"Wow, this looks like FAO Schwarz in here," I heard from the doorway, seeing Edward standing there leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face.

"Can you even begin to explain how this happened?" I asked. I had no idea how Esme had orchestrated the scene in front of me.

"My mother is a whiz at internet shopping. That's about the only thing I can come up with. Now, I can take you to get your car. Apparently, Mom bought a car seat while we were gone, and with the help of someone named Officer Steve at the Fork's Police Department, it's firmly affixed in her BMW. There's no need for anyone to come pick you up. That just means extra trips for everyone involved, so let me take you," Edward suggested. He had a point. I didn't want to burden Embry with driving all the way to the Cullen's house which was on the opposite side of Fork's from La Push, so it made more sense.

After we packed up the least amount of shit that Esme would let us get away with, Edward loaded our things into his mother's car to take us to La Push to pick up my CRV. We'd hugged and kissed the Cullens for their kindness, and the couple seemed sad that we were leaving.

"So, where are we going?" Edward asked. I directed him to Billy's house, and we found my car sitting outside the garage. I looked inside and didn't find my keys, so I knew I'd have to go to Embry's house to collect them.

"Okay, you guys wait here while I run down to Embry's house and get my keys. I'll be right back," I instructed. I quickly ran down the street and wasn't surprised to see that Embry was at home.

I knocked on the door, and he opened it, and for a quick minute, I thought it was Jacob. I shook my head to shake off the memory, and pulled up the best smile I could. "Hey, can I get my keys? How much do I owe you, by the way?" I asked, reaching for my wallet.

He stepped aside for me to enter his home, and I looked up the street to see Edward and Jax playing in the yard. I walked inside and Embry closed the door behind me. "How's Billy?" he asked.

"He's doing better. Look, I'll catch you up tomorrow, but I need to get Jax home and get her to bed. Can I have my keys?" I asked.

"How'd you get here?" Embry asked as he walked into the kitchen of his house and reached up to a nail, pulling down my key ring.

"Edward Cullen brought us. His parents watched Jax while we were in Seattle. Call me tomorrow morning, and I'll fill you in," I responded impatiently.

Just then, there was a knock at the front door, and when Embry opened it, Edward was standing with Jax in his arms. She looked tired, her head resting on Edward's shoulder, and she was sucking her thumb which was something I'd worked very hard to stop. "Um, Jax is ready to go home. Is there anything wrong?" Edward asked as he entered the house without invitation. I could see he wasn't pleased.

"Who are _you_?" Embry asked as he held his arms out for Jax, who quickly declined the invitation. I could see that Embry's feelings were hurt, and I needed to fix the situation before it escalated out of control.

"I'm Edward Cullen. I'm a good friend of Bella and Jax. You must be Embry. It's nice to meet you," Edward offered graciously. Embry didn't take it well at all.

"Bells, I need to talk to you," Embry announced as he grabbed my arm and dragged me out the back door to his small porch.

"What's that guy to you?" he snapped after the back door was closed. I could tell he was pissed, and I wasn't sure why.

"He's a friend. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Is he the guy you're going to replace Jake with? You know, you're a member of our extended family, and we stay with our own. I've been waiting for you to give me any indication that you're ready to move on from Jacob, and then you go start dating a guy like _that_? I promised Jake that if anything happened to him, I'd look out for you. I tried in the beginning, but you needed space. I've been waiting for you to get to the place where you could be ready for me, and now you're dating a guy like _that_?" he complained.

"Embry, you were Jacob's best friend, and you've been a good friend to me. That's all there is between us, you know. I have feelings for Edward, and you're going to have to get used to it, so knock off this bullshit about having feelings for me. You're under no obligation to take care of me or Jax. Jake's dead, Embry, and I've got to move on and live my life. If you want to honor Jake's memory, keep a better eye on his father. You should have been able to see that he was sick as well as I did," I snapped.

Maybe I was projecting my guilt over Billy onto Embry, but what he'd said pissed me off. There was no replacing Jake. The only thing I could do was move on, which I was actually trying to do. I needed to do what was best for Jax and me, and living in the past wasn't it. I grabbed my keys from his hand as I stormed through the house, and I was ready to go.

"Come on, let's go," I announced as I walked through the living room to the front door. Without a word, Edward walked out on the porch with my sleeping daughter in his arms and waited for me to close the door to a piece of my past.

It was symbolic, but it was necessary. I didn't have to cut out the friends I had in La Push from my life completely, but I had to move on and make a new life for my daughter and myself. As we walked up the street to Billy's house, I looked to my left and saw Edward carrying my daughter and I knew that maybe I needed to be more open with him. Maybe, just maybe, he was the key to my future. I had no idea, but I had to be open to the possibility. It was a surprising revelation.

##

Edward insisted on following us home that night. I wasn't sure what he thought about the encounter with Embry. Hell, I wasn't sure what _I_ thought about the encounter with Embry. When we pulled into the driveway, he was very quick to jump out of Esme's car and pull Jax out of the backseat of mine where she was out like a light.

"I can get her. I'm used to it," I complained. I was struggling with becoming more dependent on him because I wasn't sure that was a good thing. I'd tried to remain independent and take care of my life by myself so that I didn't become dependent on someone who wasn't exactly mine. My increasing dependence on Edward was seriously starting to worry me.

"Well, considering she's nearly as big as you and the fact that I don't think you'll allow me to give you a massage when you put your back out, I think I'll just carry her in," he whispered. I grabbed our bags from his car and let us into the house.

Without waiting for anything from me, he took her up to her room and put her to bed. I went to my porch and grabbed the mail and tossed it on the counter. When he walked down the stairs, I saw a smile on his face. "What happened?" I asked.

"She asked me to read to her, and before I got the book open, she was out. She's so great, Bella. Mom wanted to keep her, you know. Now, are you working tomorrow night?" he asked as he sat down on the couch in the living room while I perused the mail carelessly.

"I might have to call in sick because I don't have a sitter unless I can convince Rose to stay here with her tomorrow night. I'm glad Mom and Dad are in Seattle with Billy, but that puts me in a bind," I responded without thinking.

"I know exactly who to…" he began. I held up my hand for him to stop. His mother had already done too much, and she had a very important job at the hospital. I couldn't rely on the hospital administrator to be my back-up babysitter. With the amount of money I was going to have to cough up for Billy's hospital stay and surgery, I couldn't afford to pay someone very much, but it was absolutely imperative that I find someone to be a back-up babysitter.

"No, your mother has been more than accommodating with regard to Jax. She has a full-time job, and I can't impose on her again. I may need to take off tomorrow to see if I can try to find someone else to help," I responded as I sunk down on the couch next to him.

"Well, I'll keep my ears open if anyone is looking to pick up a little extra cash," Edward responded.

His mention of cash reminded me of something that I needed to ask him. "Hey, can I ask you something? How much will this hospital bill cost me? "I asked.

"Um, well, we can look into different avenues with regard to reducing the cost, but the surgery, hospital stay, and helicopter will cost a lot. I'll help you as much as I can," Edward offered.

"I have about three hundred thousand left from Jake's life insurance. Will that begin to cover it?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that Billy didn't feel the burden of the bills. I was prepared to pay everything I had to make sure he was taken care of. It wasn't my money. It was the money that the U.S. Government had paid me when my husband had been killed. I held no animosity toward the government for the way my life had turned out, but no dollar amount would ever bring my husband back.

"Bella, I'll help you figure it out," Edward offered as he rose from the couch. He kissed my cheek gently and left. I was tired, so I wasn't completely upset when he left, but I knew I would miss the feel of his body next to mine. I'd felt it for two nights, and it wouldn't be easy to forget.

##

"Momma, where's my Barbie car?" Jax called as I dressed. I had made fliers looking for a babysitter, and I was ready to take them around town. I knew I'd have to interview a lot of people until I found someone with whom I was comfortable, and I completely hated the idea of leaving my daughter with someone I didn't know very well.

The doorbell rang, and I ran down the stairs without answering Jax regarding the whereabouts of her Barbie car. I was certain it was in her room somewhere, but with all the pink in there, it was likely hard to spot. I couldn't help but shake my head at the sight of all of the Barbie stuff taking up space where only blocks, books, and puzzles had been before.

I opened the front door and was completely surprised by the person standing on my doorstep. "Hi, Bella. I hear you're in the market for an evening nanny. I need a place to live, so I think we could strike a deal," Alice Brandon called to me as I stood dumfounded in my doorway that morning.

I could only hug her. She and Jax had hit it off at Rose and Emmett's, and I knew she had it bad for Jasper, so I wasn't completely surprised that she wanted to stay in town, but I was grateful. I had no idea how she knew what I needed, but I was glad she was there.

"Alice, how'd you know?" I asked.

"Edward called me sometime in the middle of the night and left me a message. I called him this morning and he explained what was going on, so here I am, very excited about the prospect. Now, I can't pitch in a lot on rent, but I hope that the fact that I'll babysit Jax and I can cook might cause you to give me a chance. I really like you, and I think we can be great friends," Alice responded, still standing on my porch.

"Oh, forgive me. Please, come in," I answered. She danced into my house, and the whole damn place seemed to light up. I had no idea what Alice Brandon would bring to my table, but it almost seemed magical.

"Where's Jax?" Alice asked. I pointed to the living room, and Alice dropped her bag at the stairs and disappeared. A few minutes later, I heard the two of them laughing and then they joined me in the kitchen as I made breakfast for the three of us.

"I need a few things. I need directions to the park. I need to know if she's allergic to anything, and I need to know your schedule. Edward's message said that you went to work today at 4:00 PM, so I assume I'll be responsible for dinner and evening activities. I think that sounds perfectly peachy. So?" Alice asked as she situated Jax into her booster seat at the table as I plated breakfast.

"Um, I can't pay you much, but I'll gladly let you live here. Jasper's a great guy, and I know he's completely overwhelmed by you, so I'm certain he's happy you're going to stay in town for a while," I responded.

Knowing I was going to break the bank to pay for Billy's care had made me contemplate my financial situation overnight. I needed to be more frugal, but in order to earn a living I needed to have someone who could take care of Jax in the evenings. It was time for me to quit depending on my parents and stand on my own two feet.

"The financial details aren't important to me. I'm just glad to have a place to lay my head. Now, I think we should eat while breakfast is hot," Alice announced quite confidently. I was happy, and my daughter seemed to have met her other half by the way she was smiling at Alice, so I had no complaints. I prayed it would work out.

As we settled into breakfast, I was ready to begin grilling the stranger who I'd just agreed could move in. I didn't know why it felt like her moving in was the right thing to do, but I didn't hesitate to extend the invitation which wasn't like me at all. "So, tell me about yourself," I prompted as I cut up Jax's eggs for her.

"I grew up moving from one foster home to another until I was taken in by Mack and Kathleen McCarty. Emmett's eight years older than me. He'll be thirty-one soon, but he was always really great to me. I met Edward when he came to Virginia to visit us one summer while he and Emmett were in undergrad. I was the nosey teen girl who tagged along, but I have to say that they never treated me badly. Anyway, when I turned eighteen, I struck out on my own and ended up in Seattle working at a design company. When Emmett told me he and Rosalie were getting married, I had to be there, and then I met Jasper, and well, that's me," Alice answered without any hesitation.

"I didn't meet the McCartys at the wedding. Were they there?" I asked. I remember looking around to see if anyone looked remotely like Emmett, but I never thought to ask about it.

"No. They don't approve of Rosalie because she's not Catholic, so they refused to come. Very shortsighted, in my opinion. How about you? What's your story?" Alice asked.

Mine was a little more difficult to explain. I didn't know if she'd been filled in on my history and just wanted to hear it from me, or if she really didn't know anything about me. "Widowed for four years now. I married my high school sweetheart at twenty. He was in the Army, and we married three weeks before he deployed to the Middle East. He was killed by a bomb in front of a market in Baghdad. He didn't know about Jax. Unfortunately, she'll never know her dad, but at least I have a piece of him with me," I answered. Her fork clattering on her plate got my attention.

I looked up to see a look of shock on her face and I wondered what I'd said to surprise her. "Alice? What is it?" I asked.

"That's so sad. I had no idea. I just assumed that you were either divorced or never married Jax's father. Nobody told me any of this. I'm so sorry. I have no right to…" she began with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lay it all on you so nonchalantly. It's just that I've learned to tell the story without really listening to what I'm saying. If I dwell on it, I burst into hysterical tears and that really upsets Jax. I don't keep it a secret from her that her father's gone, but I don't pound it into her either. You have nothing to worry about. You asked and I answered," I responded.

"I suppose you'd have to. So, is Edward the first man you've dated since you lost your husband?" she asked. That question was one I was less comfortable about answering.

"Um, we're not really dating. We're very good friends, and we have meals and spend time together, but we aren't romantically involved," I answered hoping it sounded plausible. I could easily accept his friendship, but I wasn't sure about anything romantic. I was still trying to figure that part out.

"I think that's what _you_ think, but I know that's not what Edward thinks," Alice responded.

"Redward? Where's Redward?" Jax asked between bites of her breakfast.

"He's at the hospital," I answered as I sipped my coffee. Alice eyed me curiously.

"Wiff Big Pop?" Jax asked. I needed to change the subject.

"Sort of. Are you finished?" I asked quickly. She nodded and I got up from the table and wet paper towels to clean her up. After she was cleaned up, I let her down from her booster seat and she shot into the living room like a bullet.

"I'm sorry to say that in front of her. I'll have to engage my filter around her, but I really think you need to take a good look at your relationship with Edward. I know that he thinks an awfully lot of you and your daughter. I'd venture to say that he's in love with you. It's there in his voice when he speaks of you," Alice observed. It wasn't the first time I'd heard it.

"I think he's just attached to us because he likes to help people, and he sees us as people who need help. I don't take advantage of it, I promise you. We enjoy his company, as well as that of his parents, but I don't take advantage of anyone," I defended, lest she get the wrong idea about me.

"Oh, I wasn't insinuating anything like that at all. If it sounded like I was, I apologize. Dammit, here I've let my mouth overload my ass again," Alice berated herself.

"No need to apologize, Alice. Several people have made the same mistake with regard to our relationship. We're just very good friends. Now, come on. I'll show you to your room, and you can get settled. We'll talk more about what it takes to deal with my daughter in the evenings, and I'll go to the store and get groceries," I told her.

"Thanks for letting me stay, Bella. I won't be a burden, I promise," Alice answered. She followed me upstairs to the spare room and proceeded to make herself at home. I hoped it would work out. The arrangement was one that was perfect…that was if Alice Brandon and I could live together.

##

As I walked into the morgue that night, I could hear the gangsta rap music that Eric listened to when he was alone. He said it kept the ghosts away, and I couldn't help but laugh at his paranoia. When I rounded the corner, I saw him bobbing his head and working feverishly at the computer as Biggy Smalls serenaded him about being called "Big Poppa." He didn't notice me at first, but when he did, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Look whose back. I heard you were shacked up with Dr. Fuck-Em-All for the last few days. It's all over the circuit," Eric accused as he turned down the radio. I put my purse in my desk to his left and dropped down in my chair. There was a stack of files on my desk, and I could see the last few days had been very busy in the underbelly of Forks Hospital.

"I think you know me better than that. I was in Seattle with my father-in-law who had to have his leg amputated. It was touch and go whether he was going to live. There was no shacking or shagging with the good doctor," I answered as I picked up a file.

"Oh. I should have known Dr. Tightass was making shit up. So how is he?" Eric asked as I got to work. I gave him the highlights, neglecting to mention sharing the room…er, bed…with the hot doctor, but I didn't like being the subject of the "circuit" as Eric referred to the rumor mill at the hospital. I'd been gossiped about for far too long.

"What did she say?" I asked, my curiosity about Jane's comments regarding me getting the best of me.

"You want the quote or the summary?" he asked. I was pretty sure the quote was quite scathing.

"Give it to me straight," I responded, bracing myself for whatever he was going to tell me. She didn't like me before, and if Edward or Esme had arranged to get me time off to go to Seattle for Billy's surgery, I was pretty sure the word "whore" was used in connection with my name more than once around the circuit.

"Well, apparently, Dr. Fuck-Em-All called Dr. Dracula and arranged for you to have two days off without giving an explanation other than it was personal business. Jane called Esme Cullen to complain that she didn't like the fact that you were given emergency leave to go off and fuck Esme's son. That less than thought-through statement landed Jane a meeting with Dr. Esme this morning regarding said assessment.

"When Jane came back down at two this afternoon, she started throwing shit out of the drawers and cussing like I've never heard. Why, my ears were on fire from the words coming out of her potty mouth, I kid you not. From what I heard, Jane was extended the opportunity to take two days off without pay or to pack her shit and get the fuck out permanently. When Daddy Dearest showed up and Jane related the story to him, he told her that there was nothing he could do, and then he promptly left. That led to more cursing, during which you were called an opportunistic slut and a dirty whore, but in the end, she packed up her shit and left. We won't be seeing her until sometime on Thursday, thank the good Lord," Eric related.

So, it was actually along the lines of what I expected. I wasn't sure how I felt about any of it, so I decided _not_ to think about it and buried myself in work. Of course, I couldn't help _but_ think about it, but I tried not to dwell.

##

Eric came back from his break at 7:00 PM, and he wasn't alone. Edward was with him, and the two seemed to be chatting effortlessly. I could see that Eric was nearly about to take flight, and I wasn't sure who had a bigger crush on Dr. Cullen…me or Eric. Yes, I had been able to get myself to admit that I had a lot more than a crush on Dr. Cullen, but I certainly wasn't telling anyone about it.

"Angel. Are you ready to get some dinner? I brought us something since we never got to have our date in the garden. Eric assures me that he'll be fine without you if you go now," Edward announced. He winked at me, and I was certain that I heard Eric sigh like a southern belle at a cotillion.

"Um, okay. Eric are you sure?" I asked. He smiled at me, nodded in agreement, and walked out of the room.

"I think you just broke his heart by not taking _him_ to dinner," I announced as I grabbed my purse and left my white jacket on my chair.

"Actually, I sat and had a coffee with him while he was eating his dinner. He told me about Jane Volturi. I'd heard talk, but I wanted a more accurate accounting, so I went looking for him. Don't you follow Dr. Sex Hair on Twitter?" he teased. I knew that was what it was called, but I barely sent text messages. There was nothing in my life that was worth tweeting about. I didn't even have a Facebook account. I was the most low-tech person of my generation.

"No, I don't. Sorry. So?" I asked as we walked up the stairs to go out into the garden behind the hospital. He was carrying a cooler and a bag, and I was very curious as to the contents.

"I'm actually glad to hear that. Hell, even my own mother follows it. Anyway, I'm sorry about the names Jane called you. They're all completely unfounded, but it's exactly what I'd expect from someone of her less-than-dazzling character. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I think none of those things about you," he remarked with a worried expression on his face. As I was about to open the door to go outside, he pulled on my arm to stop me.

"Edward, I know that you didn't say those things. Jane is vindictive and spoiled. She's not the first woman of that sort I've dealt with in my life. You have nothing to worry about," I answered. His next move would completely disarm me, but I couldn't lie and say it was unwelcomed.

He placed the cooler and the bag on the floor and pulled me into his arms, kissing me gently on the lips. It wasn't exactly passionate, but it was very sweet. It was soft, and his lips were warm and definitely inviting. I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around his shoulders and stepping into his body, allowing him to tighten his grip on me. We stood there kissing for a moment, and then he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I've wanted to do that for a long time. I hope I didn't misread the situation and take liberties you weren't prepared to give," he explained.

I was still holding onto him, so I thought that should be a good indication to him that I wasn't offended in the least. The fact that I kissed him back should have been a hint that I didn't hate the fact that he kissed me. "That was very nice. It's…um…it's been a long time," I answered.

The last man to kiss me like that was my husband. Kissing Edward Cullen was different than kissing Jake, but the feelings that I was experiencing weren't exactly foreign to me. The man did things to my body that I hadn't felt in a long time, and they weren't exactly unwanted by me.

He opened the door and picked up the cooler, and we walked outside into a nice summer evening. We made our way to a bench, and Edward spread a blanket on it and then motioned for me to sit down. "Why the blanket?" I asked.

"Bird shit," he answered. I laughed. Apparently, he was a man who thought of everything. He opened the cooler and handed me two wrapped sandwiches and a bottle of Snapple Pink Lemonade. He then pulled out a bag of chips from the bag and a bottle of water for himself.

"Turkey or ham?" he asked. I set my lemonade down on the bench between us and examined the sandwiches that were wrapped in wax paper. One was on a croissant, and the other was on some kind of bread that I couldn't recognize.

"Um, what's the bread?" I asked pointing to the sandwich.

"Pretzel bread. It is ham and Swiss on pretzel bread with stone-ground mustard. The other is turkey and smoked cheddar on croissant with a sun-dried tomato mayo. I made them myself," he announced. I didn't know when he'd had that kind of time, so I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"I didn't come on duty until two this afternoon. I brought the ingredients and then put the sandwiches together just a bit ago. So?" he asked. The ham intrigued me, but I loved turkey and smoked cheddar. I took the croissant and handed him the ham, and he smiled.

"Good, this one is my favorite," he announced as he unwrapped the sandwich and took a healthy bite.

We ate for a few minutes looking around the garden at the blooming bushes. It was comfortable sitting with him. I enjoyed it very much, but I didn't overthink it…for once in my life. I was bound and determined to just live in the moment.

After a few minutes, he put down his sandwich and took a drink of water. "I called Dr. Gerandy earlier. Apparently, Billy's daughters finally showed up. They're going to search for an assisted living facility for their father in Port Angeles. They're both worried about him living alone but neither is willing to stick around and take care of him. Some daughters," Edward surmised.

I knew they were in Seattle, but I didn't know about the assisted living idea. Neither would talk to me when I called Billy, and of course, he didn't share that piece of information with me either, having announced that I already had enough to worry about with Jax and I had no need to worry about him.

"Fuck. Those two are so damned selfish. I don't know how the hell he's supposed to pay for that, and I won't be able to pay for it. After I pay the hospital bills, I won't have anything near what will be needed to pay for that," I snapped, placing my sandwich on the napkin in my lap.

"You're not paying for his hospital bills," Edward announced. I nearly choked on my lemonade.

"He certainly doesn't have it, and his disability isn't going to cover most of the costs. If Rachel or Rebecca had it, they'd never part with it, so it falls to me. I guess I'll have to move him in with me," I announced. I didn't know how I'd do it because my little house wasn't exactly designed for anyone in a wheelchair, but it was my responsibility.

"First, there are grants and special programs under which Billy falls due to his Native American status, which will take care of his hospital stay in Seattle and the surgery. Dr. Gerandy isn't going to charge for his services because he had students in the OR with him, and he used it as a teaching opportunity. Billy's disability will cover his hospital visit here in Forks. The Lifeflight Company graciously agreed to cut the bill for the evac by two-thirds if I contracted with them for six months of on-call duty. That leaves the obligation you feel the need to pay at about five-thousand dollars. Based on what you told me, you should be able to cover that," he announced as he shoved a handful of potato chips into his mouth.

I was, not surprisingly, stunned. He'd taken it upon himself to solve the problem, and I didn't know if I should hug him or curse him. I wasn't ready to concede that I needed someone to help me troll the murky waters of medical expenses, but he'd already taken care of it. I was speechless…for a minute.

"I can't let you do that. You have no obligations to my family. I appreciate you checking into all of it, but I can't let you obligate yourself to a contract to help me out. I can pay for it," I snapped. I didn't mean to sound so shitty, but I wasn't used to the likes of Edward Cullen, though if Jake were alive, he'd have made as many of the same arrangements as he could. That was another thing that reminded me that Edward was more like my Jacob than I ever imagined.

"Look, it helps me as much as it helps you. I talked to my attending about it, and she thinks it's a good idea for me. It's only eight hours a week, and the experience for me will be invaluable. It helps me hone my triage skills, and that'll go a long way in my career. It's a great opportunity for me," he announced, seemingly done with the conversation.

I wasn't, but I had no additional arguments at that moment. I owed him a huge debt of gratitude, and I didn't know how to pay him back. "Edward, I don't want to be indebted to anyone. You have to let me do something for you to return the very generous favor," I responded. He smiled at me and then he laughed.

"I've got the ultimate payback. It's two fold. First, you can go on a date with me on Saturday night. McCarty's back from his honeymoon, and I'm not working that night. Second, you can help me move. I found a place to live, and I'm finally ready to leave the nest. Of course, that's going to include buying furniture and all the shit that goes with setting up a house, so it's going to take a lot of your time. That's how you can pay me back. I hate doing shit like that," he answered.

I pondered it for a minute, and then I remembered Alice. "Why don't you get Alice to help you? She works in that field," I asked.

"Because I don't want Alice…I want you, Bella," he responded. I wasn't sure if he was just talking about the setting up of his house or something more, but at that moment, I wasn't prepared to explore the intent. I only nodded in agreement and continued to enjoy my dinner. The stewing would come much later.

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_**E/N: Poor girl's head is spinning. Please let me know what you think.**_

_**Now, for those of you who haven't found out yet, I've started another story on . It's called "A Fine Line Between Love & Hate." Summary: **_Divorce is a dirty business. A socialite decides that her husband is having an affair and hires the best divorce attorney she can find...Bella Swan. Who will the doctor bring to the mediation table, and what kind of history will opposing counsel share? Rated M (language & lemons). B&E POVs. Canon couples with a few odd pairings.

_**I hope you'll check it out. There are two chapters up already.**_

_**Okay, enough. Till next time…xoxo**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: I'm so blown away by your response to the story! Thank you so much for giving it a shot.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Let's get right to it. **_

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7.

Tuesday and Wednesday were like living a dream. Alice and I settled into a fantastic rhythm around the house. Jax loved her, and their collective love for all-things Barbie brought more pink into my house without my knowledge or consent. They had the same energy level, which amazed me, and Alice proclaimed that she never thought her best friend would be three-and-a-half years old.

Work was actually slow. Eric and I were working on a project to send old files to the hospital archives, and luckily, things were slow in the morgue so we'd made a lot of headway. Even Dr. Dracula was surprised at our progress.

Edward and I had our dinners together, and he even took a break at midnight to walk me out to my car and kiss me goodnight, usually just a brush of his lips against mine, but it was a kiss nonetheless. He was breaking down my defenses slowly, and I wasn't giving it a lot of thought.

The only thing to burst my bubble of happiness was the fact that I hadn't dreamed about Jacob since before I went to Seattle for his father's surgery. I tried not to think about it too much, but when I allowed myself to dwell on it, I was very bothered.

In some fit of masochism, I pulled out pictures of us, which in the past had actually sent me to my bed in a panic attack, but of late, when I looked through them there were only happy memories. Only a handful of tears fell down my face as I remembered the occasions reflected to me on the small colored squares of photography paper. I missed Jacob very much, but something else was going on with me, and I wasn't certain what it was.

Late Thursday morning as Jax was playing with her Barbie car while I folded towels, the doorbell rang. I went to answer it, expecting a bag-laden Alice, but instead was met with an exhausted-looking Edward Cullen. "Hey, come in. Why are you not home in bed? I thought you were off at 8:00?" I asked. Wednesday night when he walked me to my car, he told me he'd talk to me late Thursday afternoon because he was off at 8:00 AM and planned to sleep until late in the day because Wednesday evening had been particularly fucking brutal.

"Well, that was the plan, but I had the misfortune to run into Jane Volturi when I went to see my mother this morning. It was really fucking ugly, and I felt that I needed to come warn you about what to expect when you show up for work. She's now got it in for you, and she plans to make your life a living hell because you're dating me. Apparently, our dinner dates and parking lot kisses have been tweeted, and she follows it on Twitter. She's conjured up a scenario in her head that you stole me away from her, and she said she's going to make you sorry for it. There was no way I could let you walk into that without any warning. Plus, I've missed Jax. Where's my girl?" Edward called after a sweet kiss for me. He walked into the house and my daughter came running like she was chasing an ice cream truck.

"Redward," she squealed as he picked her up and gave her a loud kiss on her cheek. She hugged him tightly around his neck and scrunched up her little face in a look of sheer joy. It was a sight to behold.

He whispered something to her, and she nodded triumphantly. "Momma, will you make Redward some brefass? He's hungry and Mesme isn't home," Jax announced. I laughed at the co-conspirators and sighed.

"You two are coldblooded, you know. Fine, _Redward_, come into the kitchen, and I'll make you something to eat. Jax, why don't you go get a book and have your buddy read you a story while I cook?" I asked. She squirmed from his arms and he quickly dropped her to the floor, causing her to squeal again as off she ran.

"So, we're actually dating?" I asked. I needed to know, _officially_, what we were to each other. My daughter was so attached to him, as was I, and we'd been seeing enough of each other that I needed a label for it for my own sanity.

Jake didn't show up in my dreams any longer. I knew I hadn't let go of him, but I wasn't sure why I couldn't conjure him the way I used to. My dreams were spent with Edward Cullen, and we certainly weren't talking. _That_ situation was what led me to ask the question.

"I think it's very safe to say we're dating. I'm taking it slow for your benefit, but I want more than just dating, Bella. I think I've made those intentions known," Edward remarked as I broke eggs into a bowl to make him an omelet. I pulled out bacon and cheese and mushrooms, which I knew he liked, and I began to make him something to eat as I processed what he'd said.

I quickly placed the bacon in the skillet to fry and went to the refrigerator to get Edward some orange juice. "You want coffee? I don't have decaf," I offered.

"No coffee. Eventually, I need to get to sleep, and I fear for the state of my stomach lining as it is. That shit they call coffee at the hospital is really fucking harsh. I might have to start taking my own. So…no comment on the dating thing?" he asked as he sipped his orange juice.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say. I suppose what we're doing could be defined as dating. It, um, just sort of sneaked up on me. I'm not opposed to it, it's just that I guess I didn't realize what we were doing," I answered as I turned the bacon in the skillet.

"Bella, I believe I've been…" he began. Just then, Jax flew into the kitchen with three books and promptly jumped onto Edward's lap. I heard the "umph" from Edward and turned to see a look of pain on his face, and I quickly deduced that my little girl had racked him up. It was all I could do not to laugh.

"Stories," Jax announced. Edward took a deep breath and picked up the first book and began reading as I continued making him breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, I shooed my daughter away so that the man could eat in peace, and I served him something to eat.

"Oh, good God, this is so fantastic," he remarked between bites. He was eating as if he hadn't eaten in a week, though I knew that we'd shared pizza the previous night in the garden at the hospital before the rain started.

I chuckled as I sipped my coffee and watched him enjoy his food. The moaning and groaning over the simple omelet I'd made for him reminded me of some of the sounds I'd dreamed about him making as I was doing some very naughty things to him. I was a little bit uncomfortable thinking about those dreams as I sat across from him, but I was a lot turned on by it. I tried to keep the flush in my cheeks at bay, but of course, I couldn't.

When he finished, I cleared his place, and he rose from his chair. "Thanks for the heads-up regarding Jane. I'd rather not be hit unaware when I walk into the morgue this evening. Get some sleep and call me when you get up," I instructed as I ushered him to the door.

"I'm not leaving yet. Do you have a lawn mower, or does Emmett use his when he cuts your grass?" Edward asked. Emmett McCarty and I had made a deal when I moved in across the street from him and Rosalie. He'd cut my lawn, and I'd make him a pie or cake of his choice. I insisted on paying him for gas, but I found that the money always seemed to find its way back to my house. The McCartys were good neighbors to say the least.

"I have a mower, but Em has a riding mower, so he uses his for the bulk of it, and then uses mine to do the close work. I'll cut my grass later after Alice gets back from wherever she spends her days," I announced. The man was like the walking dead and needed to sleep. The last thing he needed to be doing was operating dangerous machinery.

"Nonsense. I love cutting grass. I had my own little lawn business when I was a kid. I haven't had the opportunity to cut grass in a long time, and yours needs it. Now, point me in the right direction, and then come sit on the porch and give me a little eye candy to stare at as I tempt you by taking off my shirt," Edward teased as he pulled me into a hug. The temptation was too much, so I agreed.

"Jax, get your shoes and let's go outside," I called. She didn't hesitate and was back in a flash.

Edward picked her up and opened the front door, waiting for me to go out before the pair of them. He pulled the door closed behind him after ensuring that the door wasn't locked from the inside, and he grabbed my hand leading me to the garage. He handed Jax to me, and he opened my detached garage and gasped.

For a minute, I wasn't sure why, but then when I saw where his eyes were cast, I knew what was wrong. "It was Jake's. It's a '67 Camaro. He restored it himself, and it was at Billy's until I got the house. It's up on blocks so that the tires don't dry rot," I announced.

I walked over to the car and pulled the tarp off of it, revealing the candy-apple red Camaro. It had a black convertible top, and it hadn't been driven since before we went to Texas. As soon as I moved into the house, I got Embry to move the car from Billy's house to mine. He and Quil Ateara put it up on blocks for me, but it hadn't been driven in over four years. I was pretty sure that wasn't good for the engine.

"Daaaang. That's something," he remarked. It really was a beautiful car. I couldn't part with it, and I'd decided that I'd hang onto it until Jax was old enough to drive and then have it overhauled and give it to her for her sixteenth birthday as a gift from her father. That was, unless I needed to sell it for one reason or another. Those reasons would have to be very dire because I couldn't think about parting with the car for any reason whatsoever. I actually forgot about having it until I went into the garage. Emmett had commented on it once, but when I broke down in tears, he never mentioned it again. Why talking about it with Edward wasn't killing me was beyond my comprehension.

"Jake worked on that damn car all the time. Most of our date nights were spent in his garage with him working on the car and me sitting on a lawn chair talking to him. Of course, when he painted the damn thing, I was nowhere around. When he revealed it right before we graduated high school, I was stunned at how beautiful it was. He told me it was for me, but I told him it was _ours_. He smiled when I made the announcement, and then commented, 'we'll drive it to our honeymoon.' That's exactly what we did," I explained.

"Well, he had some skills when it came to restoring it. Now, show me where this lawn mower is," Edward replied as he reverently placed the tarp back over the car. I pointed to the corner and showed him where the gas can was, and he took over.

Jax and I sat on the front porch and played a game of _Hi-Ho Cherry-O _as I watched the handsome doctor remove his shirt and cut my front lawn. After the front was finished, he moved to the back, and we moved to the back porch. He moved the sandbox that was shaped like a turtle and shut off the mower. "We should put this up on wooden planks so it doesn't mess up the yard," he announced.

"What?" I asked. I liked my yard, though I didn't really spend a lot of time in it, but I wasn't sure about what he was talking.

"I'll bring over some two-by-fours and put this up on them so that it won't make a permanent mark on the lawn. Actually, I could dig a spot for it so that it's more permanent if you'd like. Also, I'll come fix that gutter," he announced, pointing toward a spot where my gutter was loose. My dad had planned to fix it, but he didn't have time, and I certainly had no idea how to do it.

"I'll hire someone. You've got other things to do besides become my handyman," I responded as Jax squealed triumphantly at defeating me yet again. I may not have been paying attention due to the hot shirtless man mowing my yard.

"Mrs. Black, I hate to inform you, but handyman services come with the title 'boyfriend'. Now, may I have something to drink?" he asked. His pronouncement of 'boyfriend' threw me, so I hustled into the house after reminding Jax to stay on the porch.

I quickly made him a glass of tea and grabbed Jax a juice box, and before I returned to the porch, I took a deep breath. _Girlfriend_ was the opposite of _boyfriend_, and if he considered himself my boyfriend, then he certainly considered me his girlfriend. I wasn't sure what to think about that information.

I walked back outside and saw Edward swinging Jax around in the yard and then putting her down, laughing heartily as she stumbled around, clearly dizzy. Once she was able to walk steadily again, she ran to him and shrieked, "again." I watched a second go-round of it and abruptly put a stop to it before projectile vomiting became involved.

"Okay, you two. Cold drinks," I called from the back porch. Edward chased Jax around the yard until the two climbed the three steps and collapsed at the small outdoor table and chairs that graced my small porch.

Edward took a long sip of his tea and smacked his lips when he was finished. "I do believe that you make the best iced tea I've ever had," he joked.

"It's instant," I announced. He laughed. It didn't seem he cared at all.

"I'll finish the trimming. You should go home and get some sleep. You could actually go upstairs and crash in my bed if you want. There're fresh towels in the bathroom if you'd like to shower," I offered. The man looked dead on his feet, and I felt quite guilty for allowing him to cut my grass.

"Um, Jax, could I trouble you to go to the front porch and get my t-shirt?" Edward asked her. She nodded and quickly blew inside through the back door.

When he was sure she was gone, he took my hand and kissed it. "Bella, if I ever have the opportunity to be invited into your bed, it won't be for a nap _alone_. I'm waiting for the occasion to spend time there with _you_. Now, I'll see you tonight for dinner, and don't let anything Jane Volturi says to you have any impact. You call me immediately when she begins her tirade, and I'll be right there," he instructed.

He quickly looked to see if Jax was coming out of the house, and he pulled me into a sweaty kiss. It was a different kiss than any of the others we'd shared. It was quite passionate with tongue and everything. It was the passion I'd been seeking from him, and it lit my body on fire.

As his tongue swept across my lips, I didn't hesitate to invite it inside and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands moved slowly down my sides, finally resting at the top of my ass. I was surprised by his statement regarding my bed, but I was jumping up and down inside. Was I actually considering sex with Edward Cullen? Yes, I believed I was.

After much too short a time, we heard Jax storming through the house, and he pulled away from me. I was grateful that he understood that it was far too soon for her to see me in his arms. He was very respectful of my situation that way.

After she flew through the door with Edward's t-shirt, he took the shirt from her and thanked her. After he'd pulled it on, much to my dismay, he picked up Jax and kissed her cheek. "Guess who wants you to come over on Saturday night while I take your mom to dinner? Mesme," he announced.

"Oh, Edward…" I began my protest. He held up his hand.

"Bella, that's why mom called me up to her office this morning, she wants Jax to come over on Saturday while I take you to dinner, and she won't take no for an answer. If I tell her you won't agree to it, she'll come after _you_, and you know how she is. I won't step in and rescue you if she comes at you with the full Esme Cullen experience…guilt, pressure, force if necessary. It's not really pretty," he answered.

"Crap. Fine, she can go to your parents' house while we go to dinner. It'll give Alice time for Jasper because I believe he's off this weekend," I responded, remembering the schedule. Edward and Jasper were both off, but Emmett was on, which actually made me laugh.

It was unusual that the three weren't on together. That's how they got labeled the "God Squad." When the three of them walked down the hallway together, it was like witnessing three Greek gods strolling through the heavens.

"Yeah, he is. So, I'll see you later," he answered. He took my hand and carried Jax with us to the front door. He kissed her cheek and put her down, and then he leaned in and whispered, "I can't wait to see you later. I'll be thinking about you all afternoon." He kissed my cheek and then he left. I was left breathless.

##

As the elevator stopped on the basement floor, I dragged myself out of it and immediately heard the shouting coming from the morgue. The double doors weren't sound proof, and the voice I heard wasn't exactly what I expected.

I saw Eric sitting in the floor next to the doors lost in his eavesdropping, and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. "Eric Yorkie, you snooping little bitch. Are you tweeting this?" I asked as I saw his phone in his hands.

He scrambled to his feet and looked at me. "Fuck no. This shit is too hot for Twitter, little girl. I'm waiting to get the 'Dr. Sex Hair' tweet that he's in the building. Mama Bear called him ten minutes ago, and he's due to arrive any minute now," Eric confessed.

"Edward's coming in? He's only slept for…" I began as I looked at my watch, "four hours." He'd left my house at just before noon, and it was ten minutes before four o'clock.

"Well, how do _you_ know how long he's been asleep, Miss Thing? Was he sleeping at your house?" Eric probed. Of course the gossip queen would ask. I suspected that he was responsible for most of the gossip at the hospital, but I couldn't prove it. He was very sneaky.

"He stopped by when he got off shift to warn me about Jane. He stayed and had food, and then he cut my lawn. We're friends. That's the kind of thing _friends_ do for each other," I explained. It didn't sound honest to me either, but it was the crux of the visit and I was going with it.

"Yeah, _right_," Eric commented with the added eye roll that I didn't appreciate. Just then, we heard Esme Cullen tell Jane to "pack your shit and get the fuck out of my hospital." That shut up both of us, and then we heard the ding of the elevator just as the phone rang in the morgue.

"I ain't going in there," Eric called. I walked inside and grabbed the phone, seeing the two women squared off in the hallway outside of Jane and Aro's office.

"Morgue. Bella Black," I answered.

"Hi, Bella, it's Nancy on five. We need you to make a pick-up. I've got the chart, but I didn't have time to enter it into the system. It's weird. The guy's name is Black," she added. Immediately, I felt panic settle in my chest like a knife.

"I'll be right there," I answered as I dropped my shit on the floor and ran passed Edward and Yorkie as they were standing in the hall.

I didn't waste time waiting for the ancient, creaking elevator…I took the stairs. Billy was supposed to be in Seattle in the hospital. If he'd been released, surely someone would have told me. As I hit the second landing, Jacob was standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest like he was waiting for me.

"Where's the fire?" he asked as he smiled at me. My heart lurched in my chest, seeing him for the first time in a while.

"I'm supposed to pick up a body and they told me it was a Black," I answered.

"Bells, there are a lot of people named Black in this part of the country. Dad's in Seattle in the hospital, and even as lame as my sisters' are, they'd never have let him check himself out of the hospital. It's not Dad. Now, how do you feel about what Edward told you today? I think that's mostly why I'm here," he responded.

"I need to get upstairs. I don't have time for this," I announced as I tried to brush passed him.

"That person isn't going to be anymore dead when you get up there than they are right now. Talk to me. You brought me here," he answered.

I sunk down on the stairs, and he sat down next to me, waiting for a response. "He says we're dating, and we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I've only been _your_ girlfriend," I answered.

"So? Those are just words. Do you want to be _his_ girlfriend like you were _my_ girlfriend?" Jacob asked. He had a point. It was the same question I'd asked myself on more than one occasion…what did I want to be to Edward Cullen and what did I want him to be to me?

"Honestly, without hurting your feelings, yeah, I do. I want to be Edward Cullen's girlfriend, and I want everyone to know it," I responded, realizing that I wanted it more than anything in the world.

"Thank God," I heard from the stairwell. It was then that I saw the bronze hair as he climbed the stairs. I hadn't heard him come in, and I was completely embarrassed to be caught talking to my dead husband in the stairwell of the hospital by the man who I thought I could love and wanted to love me back.

When he reached the landing, he sank down on the step in front of me. He didn't look at me like I was crazy, which I appreciated. "Is he here now?" he asked, referring to Jacob.

"Wow, he's pretty accepting of the fact that you're batshit crazy," Jake commented.

"Shut up. No, I don't mean you Edward. I'm…um…I'm talking to Jake. He just called me batshit crazy, and maybe I am. Look, I haven't talked to him in a while. I just got a call to pick up a deceased, and Nancy told me the name was Black. I immediately thought of Billy," I answered.

Edward turned to me and rested his hand on my knee. "Billy's fine. I spoke to his doctor in Seattle earlier. He's actually off the drip, and they're able to manage his phantom pain with anxiety drugs," Edward announced.

"What's phantom pain?" Jake asked.

"What's phantom pain?" I asked.

"It's the perception that there's pain associated with the missing limb. It's in the mind, but it's still pain. We treat it with mild meds or placebos. We can't turn off the mind's interpretation of a situation, as you well know, so that's what they're doing. The fact that he was paralyzed doesn't alleviate the fact that he knows he's missing part of a limb. Therapy will help, but for now, it's being controlled with meds. Now, Mom fired Jane. She wasn't _that_ great a pathologist in the first place, so it's not a great loss for the hospital. Aro didn't even come to her defense. I can go with you to collect your next admit, and I'll come back for dinner at your break," Edward offered.

I turned to see Jake still sitting next to me on the step. "Um, I can get it myself, but dinner's great. Can you give us a minute?" I asked, knowing I sounded completely unhinged.

"Sure. I'll be downstairs," he offered. He kissed my cheek and walked back down the stairs toward the morgue without looking back. Once I heard the door close, I looked at Jacob.

"See, I told you he loves you. No other man on the face of this earth would have listened to you talk to your dead husband and act like it was perfectly normal. You better snatch him up while you can," Jake prompted. In my heart, I knew he was right.

"What happens to you if I do?" I asked. I needed help with regard to how it was all going to mesh together. Only Jake could give me clarity on that issue.

"Bells, I'll always be here for you if you really need me, but you need a living, breathing man to love you. I can talk to you and listen to you and offer suggestions, but at the end of the day, we both know that you're talking to yourself through my voice. You need to move on from that. I've been gone for a while, and you need, no…you deserve a man to be there for you who has his own opinions and suggestions. You know that what I tell you is what you already know. You just need to hear the words come out of my mouth so that you can accept them. You know I'd have really never gone along with a lot of the shit we've talked about. This is all you. You need to let me go. Remember what Dad said…he learned to let go. It's time for you to let go," Jacob announced and then he was gone. I couldn't help but cry. I didn't think I was ready, but maybe I was. I guessed that time would tell.

I dried my tears on my sleeve and made my way up the next two flights of stairs. I went to the nurses' station and found Nancy waiting for me. "Bella, I'm sorry. _Her_ name is actually Blackwell, and she's from Sequim. She was here visiting her boyfriend. This one's an autopsy because the police suspect foul play. Your dad's actually here," she announced and pointed to my dad standing against the wall talking to a man I didn't recognize.

I walked over to him and waited for his acknowledgement. He saw me and winked at me which meant for me to wait. "Don't leave town without coming down to the station. We need your statement, and Officer Michaels is going to get it. We'll have follow-up questions. Now excuse me. I need to talk to my daughter," he commented and then walked toward me.

"Hi, Dad," I greeted. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the chairs.

"Bells. How've you been?" Dad asked. He was looking at me carefully, and I knew I couldn't lie.

"Well, I got a call from the nurses' station that I had a pick-up and the last name was Black. I guess you know what I thought," I responded.

"Yeah, I guess that would throw you. Well, I talked to Billy today, and he's doing well. Apparently, Dr. Cullen has been on his doctor's call sheet every day. That's gotta be somethin' that he doesn't do for every family. By the way, who's watchin' Jax?" Dad asked. There hadn't been phone calls between us for me to explain to them what was going on in my life, so I knew I owed them an explanation.

I looked up the hallway and saw the guy with whom my dad had been talking leering at me. It was unnerving, so I looked away. "That would be Alice Brandon. She's Emmett McCarty's little sister and she's living with us and babysits Jax at night while I work. You and mom should come over on Sunday and meet her. I know you'd love her," I answered. I couldn't help but look in the guy's direction again and see him wink at me. I shuddered, which caused my dad to look around and eye the man carefully.

"That's Laurent Boudrioux. He's from New Orleans and just settled here. The dead woman was his girlfriend. I think he's bad news, but I got nothin' to hold him on yet. We gotta wait for the autopsy results," Dad announced. That reminded me that I was on the clock and needed to get the deceased downstairs.

"I need to go. Sunday…don't forget. I'll call you tomorrow with a time. Em and Rose are back, so we'll make a party of it," I tossed out. He kissed my cheek and I left him sitting in the chairs.

As I walked by Laurent Boudrioux, he stared at me like he was undressing me, and it immediately made me want to shower. It was completely unsettling, and I tried to push the thought out of my mind, but it wasn't easy.

My thoughts went to his dead girlfriend and how quickly things can change. I was sure she didn't get up that day and think it would be her last on earth, just as Jacob hadn't gotten up the day he was killed and thought it was his last day alive. It made me realize that I'd better start living in the here and now because no one knew how much time they had left. It was time to make some decisions, once and for all.

##

An hour later found me back at my desk logging in Miss Blackwell, a forty-year-old white woman with no children and no history of mental illness to hint at the allegation that she'd committed suicide.

I wondered if the same could be said for me. I wasn't diagnosed, officially, but I was pretty sure that I was mentally ill in some capacity. Dr. Denali had alluded to it on more than one occasion when she used to head up the grief group, which was why I'd stopped going on a regular basis until Reverend Weber took over. I didn't like to think about myself that way, and I hadn't appreciated her insinuation at the time.

I was grieving, and maybe I wallowed in it too long, but plain and simple, that was what it was. I was actually starting to get to the other side of it, or so I hoped. It seemed that Edward Cullen was like a salve to my soul, and I welcomed it because I wanted to believe that maybe I was ready to move on. I hoped I was, anyway.

I had a daughter to bring up, and I couldn't hide behind my grief any longer if I was going to be the best mother for her and make Jacob proud of me. I didn't want to be known as the crazy woman on Fifth Avenue in Forks, Washington. I didn't want to be the grieving widow forever, either.

I hated the labels that had accompanied Jacob's death. _That poor thing. Young Widow. Poor Mrs. Black. Batshit-crazy-talks-to-her-dead-husband Widow Bella Black_. I wanted to be something new, and the fact that Edward Cullen called me his 'girlfriend' suddenly made me smile and accept that word as a label with which I believed I _could_ live.

"Mrs. Black, could I have a word?" I heard called from the pathology lab. It was Dr. Dracula and I had no idea when he'd shown up. I couldn't help but punch Eric in the shoulder when I rose from my desk and walked by him. He could have given me a warning, at least.

I walked into the room and closed the door. I knew about Eric and his tweets, and I didn't want him to overhear the reprimand that I was certain was coming my way. It would hit the 'circuit' sooner or later, but I needed to buy time to brace for hearing how convoluted the story would get as it made the rounds.

"I wanted to apologize about the things that my daughter said about you. She's distraught over the break-up with Dr. Cullen, and the fact that he moved on so quickly to you caused her to make some harsh remarks regarding your values. I truly hope you won't bring a suit against her and will chalk them up to the fact that Edward Cullen's a womanizing Casanova who broke her heart and not hold them against her. Jane's never been a good judge of character when it comes to the men with whom she keeps company, and when she began seeing Dr. Cullen, she fell in love with him too quickly.

"He seemed to encourage her, and when he dumped her so unceremoniously, it was more than she could take. I hope you won't be taken in by the likes of him. I don't know your history, but I know you have a young daughter, and I'd guess that you wouldn't want to go through the heartbreak that my Jane is going through at the moment. I'd hope that you'll find it in your heart to speak to Dr. Esme Cullen on her behalf and get Jane reinstated.

"Esme doesn't seem to see how much her son uses women and casts them aside. He told Jane he was in love with her, you know. Jane is a smart, savvy, worldly woman. How she allowed herself to be taken in by the likes of Edward Cullen is beyond me. Anyway, I wanted to apologize. I know she'll be remorseful when she settles down. I just didn't think the apology should wait," he finished.

I was stunned. Was he right? Was Edward Cullen such a user that he'd told Jane Volturi that he loved her? He seemed so flippant about their relationship when he talked about it, and he'd mentioned that she was fucking Dr. Simmons on the side. Was that even true? I was at a loss, but I had to respond because Aro Volturi was looking at me expectantly.

"Dr. Volturi, I've been through a lot in my life. I'm the Widow Black from Forks, after all. I won't allow myself to be taken in by anyone. Now, as for your daughter, I'm not sure what to do about her because she said some pretty malicious things about me, but I'll take your apology on her behalf into consideration. By the way, I quit," I answered and turned on my heel and walked out.

It was all too much and I was full up. Surely I could get a job at the "_Ben Franklin_" or the "_Thriftway_." Dealing with the bullshit at the hospital wasn't worth the pay anymore.

"Eric, it's been great working with you, and I hope you'll keep in touch. I'm out…Tweet that," I tossed out as I gathered my things from my desk, thankful that I didn't have much. I had a picture of Jake and me at a carnival from high school, and I had a picture of Jax. It was easy to leave, and I felt like a weight was being lifted from my shoulders with every step I took.

When I climbed into my car without a word to anyone else, I sat on the parking lot for a moment. I saw Edward's fancy sports car pull into the lot, and I saw him approach the entrance of the hospital with flowers in his hands. I wasn't sure what to do about him, but I wasn't going to sit there and contemplate it, so I started the car and went for a drive. It was still light, so it was easy to find the park and pull the car over.

As I settled on the bench near the playground, I turned to my right and saw Jake. "Wow, twice in one day. So, you quit your job over what that self-serving prick and his slutty daughter said about you and Cullen? Surely you didn't believe half of that bullshit," he responded in typical Jake fashion.

"He raised some valid points," I commented as I reached into my purse and pulled out a bottle of water that I'd started earlier in the day. Suddenly my throat was dry, and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"He raised nothin' but bullshit. That guy is trying to keep you from suing his daughter for slander and trying to get her job back in the process by preying on the poor widow. Fuck, Bella, you're smarter than that. I can't believe I'm saying this, but text Cullen and get the jackass to meet you here and talk to him. Tell him what Volturi said and allow the man to defend himself. That's the fair thing to do. You didn't get to defend yourself against Jane, but give Cullen the opportunity to do it. You and I both know it's the right thing to do," Jacob snapped. He'd never ever really snapped at me when he was alive, so I knew it was _all_ me.

I did as he suggested and pulled out my phone, sending Edward a text.

_**Meet me at the park where we took Jax. We need to talk.**_

If he showed up, I'd give him his shot. If he didn't, then I'd chalk it up and go back to my humble life. No harm, no foul.

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_**E/N: Wow, she quit her job! Boyfriend/girlfriend? Lots happened. I look forward to reading what you think about it.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday and happy belated Valentine's Day. Thank you all for your reviews and support. I truly appreciate them.**_

_**This chapter, I'll warn you, has brought tears to my eyes every time I've edited or proofed it. I cried the whole time I wrote it, and last night, as I gave it the once over again, I cried again. (Okay, I might have had one too many glasses of the grape and suffering from PMS, but you get it.) So, tissue warning has been issued.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

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8.

As I sat there on that bench, I thought about how I'd gotten there. I remembered sitting in the hard metal chair at the graveside when I'd buried Jacob, and I remembered going to the bushes to throw up. I also remembered the sideways looks I got at the time, which made a lot more sense to those present a month later when everyone found out I was pregnant with Jax.

How I got through the birth and the first year of her life was still a mystery to me because I remembered nearly none of it. I remembered being happy for about fifteen minutes immediately after my daughter was born. That was before the realization set in that I was alone, and her father would never see her beautiful face. She'd never know him, and it would be up to me to tell her about him and try to keep him in our lives.

The fact that I'd let an Edward Cullen in to disrupt our simple life puzzled me. I'd been so careful to sequester us from people who wanted to intrude on our life. I'd vetted each one carefully, and I'd only allowed them in after careful scrutiny. How he's slipped under my radar still bewildered me.

I'd made the fatal mistake of tossing his history and the never-ending gossip that swirled around him aside and given him the benefit of the doubt. I needed to talk to the only person who ever made sense in my life, so I grabbed my keys from the bench next to me and left the park not waiting for Edward to show up. I didn't tell anyone where I was going because it wasn't anyone's business.

I stopped at Mrs. Brighton's house down the street from my parents' place and stole two roses from her rose garden, just as Jake used to do in the summers when we were dating. He couldn't afford to buy me flowers, but he always showed up with two roses…one white and one red. He said they were symbolic of us…white for true love and red for passion. It wasn't for a while that I found out he'd been stealing them from the woman's garden, and it was our private joke.

I drove to the cemetery and stopped the car near where he rested. I walked over to the headstone that marked where I'd left him and I immediately felt guilty as I took in the sight of his grave. I hadn't been out to visit it in nearly two months, and there were weeds everywhere. Perpetual care, my ass.

After I pulled the weeds and tidied things up, I sat down and placed the roses on the base of the granite. To think that the simple piece of granite with his name and birthday on it was all I had left of him besides our daughter was more than I could take in at that moment. I should have bought a double stone because at the rate I was going, I was going to be joining him sooner rather than later in that little patch of real estate.

"Bullshit. We talked about that more than once. Goddamn you, Bella, you can't leave Jax," Jacob told me as he walked over and sat down next to me.

"You know what, _fuck you_. You left me, Jacob. You told me you'd be careful, and I'll be a son-of-a-bitch if you didn't take extra duty and get yourself killed. _Seriously_, you're going to give me shit about the fact that I can't fucking breathe without you? You know what, I hate you. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for leaving _us_. I hate Edward Cullen for coming into my life and making me feel feelings that I wanted to leave buried and then turning out to be a prick. I hate that I have to do all of this shit by myself. _THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR, JACOB_," I shouted as I lie down on the patch of grass in front of the headstone, pounding my fists into the grass as if I was hitting someone.

"Bella, let me go," was his only response.

"Do you think if I could that I wouldn't? What about our plans? What about our life?" I shouted.

"Bella, let me go," he responded again.

"I can't, Jake. I thought I could, but the man I was willing to do it for turned out to be a lie. How could you tell me to give him a chance?" I shouted at him.

"Bella, let me go," he repeated.

"Goddamn you, Jacob Black, I loved you. I love you. Why'd you leave?" I asked in a whisper as the tears tumbled down my face. I couldn't help myself. I sobbed.

"Bells, honey, let me go. Edward Cullen isn't a bad guy. Let me go," he told me.

With that, he got up from the ground next to me and suddenly, he was exactly as he was the last time I saw him alive on the tarmac before he deployed. His hair was short, he was wearing his ACUs, and he had his duffel in his hand. He smiled at me, and I watched him walk away without looking back.

I decided I'd just lie there and die because my life was truly over. He wasn't coming back, and that was the way it was. No amount of begging and pleading would bring him back, and I couldn't live with that any longer. Jax would be fine. She had my mom, dad, and Billy. I just wanted to die.

I had no idea how long I lie on the ground sobbing before I felt myself being pulled up and hauled into strong arms. I opened my eyes to see green eyes staring back at me. Without a word, he took me to a nearby bench and sat down with me on his lap. I didn't know what to say or what to do.

"I know what Aro said to you because I had someone pull the footage from the cameras in the room, and it was all a lie. I never told Jane, or any other woman besides Gianna, that I loved her. He was trying to play to your insecurities to get you to speak on Jane's behalf to get her job back. It's deplorable.

"Bella, I'm not perfect at all. I come with a lot of scars and warts, but I know how I feel about you. I'm not Jacob, and I know you love him, but I believe it's possible to love two people in a lifetime. I loved Gianna, and when I lost her, I thought I'd never love anyone ever again. That led to my stellar past which comes back to bite me in the ass more than I'd like, but I'm done with that shit.

"I know I'll never replace Jacob, and I'm not trying to. I just want you to see me as a guy who loves a girl and wants a shot. That's all I'm asking. I love you, Bella. I've tried to show you and not say it out loud because I didn't think you were ready to hear it, but based on what I heard from you, you need to hear it as much as I need to tell you. You're incredible, and I love you. You're right. It's not fair that Jacob's gone and Jax will never know her dad, and I'll never try to take his place, but I promise, I'll love both of you as long as I draw a breath," he told me as tears rolled down his face.

"How long were you here?" I asked as I tried to dry my own eyes.

"I pulled into the parking lot at the park just as you were leaving. I followed you to that woman's house where you took the flowers, and then I followed you to the cemetery. I should have made myself known, but I had no idea what was going on, and you don't talk to me very often about things with regard to Jacob. I saw what happened here, and I'm not sure exactly what it meant, but based on the fact that you were talking about dying, I guess it must have been pretty profound," he answered.

"Jake left me once and for all. He told me I had to let him go, and he left, and now it's just me and Jax," I answered as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"It doesn't have to be that way, you know. I'll wait for you as long as you need me to wait, but I want to be there for you and Jax. I love you both, and I won't leave you if I can at all help it. Please, please, don't do anything rash," he begged as he held me.

It was then that I realized what he thought I was going to do, and I had to dissuade him of that notion right off. "I'm not going to kill myself, Edward. I just hoped that death would take me, but I'd never actively do anything to make it happen, so no worries. I'm sorry if you got that impression," I answered as I dried my eyes again.

It was time for me to pull up my big girl pants and move on with my life. My husband was gone, and there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about it. It was time to let him go, just as he'd told me. The fact that Edward showed up and picked up the pieces, so to speak, was pretty symbolic to me.

Maybe he wasn't the prick that Aro Volturi had spoken about so harshly. Maybe he could actually pick up the broken remnants of my life and put me back together. Someone had to help me do it. I couldn't do it by myself that much I knew for sure. I'd tried and failed miserably.

"Thank God. Now, you quit your job. What's next?" he asked. I didn't know, but my future seemed to be wide open at that point.

"Well, I'm okay for money for a while, and last I recall, I have an apartment or house to decorate. Let's see how that goes," I answered. I had a decent eye for things, and my house was actually a wide open pallet because I hadn't done a lot there, but the things I'd done had been complimented on more than one occasion, so if Edward wanted my advice, I'd see where it went. Maybe Alice and I could join forces and come up with something. Who knew?

The next morning, I rose with what felt like a new lease on life. It was my new beginning, and it had been four years in the making. I took Jax to the library with me and checked out books on interior design and architecture. As I began studying them, I found them fascinating, and I felt the stirring of something that actually interested me, unlike working in the morgue.

Over the next week, after my Saturday night date with Edward which was fantastic, I poured myself into the study of fabric and aesthetics. Over the next few weeks, he worked a lot, adding the Life flight shift into his schedule, and I read and researched. Alice provided a lot of insight into design, and the two of us bounced ideas off of each other like rubber balls. We completely redid my house with only a minimum of expense, which was paint, plants and a few throw pillows, and when we finished, it was great.

I had people over at every opportunity to show off my new environment, and everyone seemed impressed. Edward and I spent as much time together as his schedule would allow, and he even slept over, albeit on the couch, several times. Things were moving in a positive direction for me, and I couldn't help but be happy.

Billy was in an assisted living facility in Port Angeles, and thankfully, his disability insurance was picking up the bulk of the expense with only a minimum amount of outlay for me to make him comfortable. It was far less than what I was prepared to spend, and I was grateful for it. Of course, I had to lie to him and tell him that his insurance covered the whole thing, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

The first weekend of August brought my world crashing down, yet again. It was the weekend of the anniversary of when I'd buried Jake, and I wasn't prepared for it at all, having not looked at the calendar for weeks.

I'd been riding a high on the changes in my life, and when I looked at the calendar to see how many shopping days I had before I needed to get Jax ready for pre-school, I was dumbfounded.

Edward had slept over the night before, having gone off shift at midnight, and when he found me sobbing in the kitchen, he picked me up and carried me upstairs to my bedroom. He lie on the bed with me and held me tightly without asking me anything. It seemed he knew, though I'd never told him, that it was a traumatic event for me. I fell asleep safely in his arms and woke some time later. I got up and did my bathroom business, looking in the mirror to see that I looked like hell, and then I dressed and went downstairs to find him and Alice at the table with Jax having lunch.

"Hi gang," I called trying to sound happy. I knew the adults in the room weren't buying it, but I hoped the child was. Even with having to endure three previous anniversaries since I'd buried Jake, I still couldn't think about it.

"Um, we're going on an outing. Em and Rose are coming, along with Jasper. Billy and your parents are coming as well, so you might as well go shower. We're to meet them at two," Alice ordered. I didn't want to go anywhere except back to bed, but Jax looked excited, and I needed to be there for my daughter.

Without a complaint, I showered and threw on a simple cotton dress and sandals, pulling my hair up into a bun. When I returned downstairs, Edward, Alice, and Jax were ready to go. There was a picnic basket and a blanket. I had no idea where we were going, but I knew where my thoughts would be that day.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery, I was ready to come unglued. "What the F-U-C-K are we doing here?" I snapped. It was absolutely the last place I wanted to be that day.

"Quit B-I-T-C-H-I-N-G and come on. Everyone's waiting," Edward ordered as he wrapped his arm around me, leading me to the last place I'd planned to visit that day. It had been another two months since I'd been there, and I could see the two dead roses resting on the granite beneath his name.

My parents, Billy in tow, Rosalie and Emmett, and Jasper were waiting. When we arrived at the place, my father handed me a red rose and a white rose. I looked at him with wide eyes and he laughed. "She knew the whole time, you know. That's why she kept replacing those bushes when they died. She thought it was sweet, and she dropped these off at the house this morning," he announced. I teared up, though I didn't want to in front of everyone.

I heard a cork pop and saw Billy with a bottle of champagne. He was filling glasses as my mother and Rosalie were handing them out from the picnic basket that Alice had brought with us. Alice pulled out a juice box for Jax, and when everyone had a glass, he smiled and looked at the crowd.

"Well, we're all here, and we're all still alive. If I know anything about my son, I'm sure he's here somewhere with us. I'd like to propose a toast to us, the survivors. We keep the memory of our missing family alive by talking about them and honoring their memory. I know that it's been a trying time for us, but we have new people in our lives to love, and we have people we miss who we still love, so here's to us for remembering but not getting bogged down by the memories. Memories are meant to be shared and cherished, not binding us to the past. I'm glad to say that we're all moving forward, and I'm actually happy for the first time in a long time. Here's to the future for all of us," he toasted. We all drank.

Just then, Esme and Carlisle walked up to us with another bottle of champagne. "I'm so sorry we're late, but we got a little lost. So, we missed the first toast, but let's fill our glasses and keep going," Esme remarked handing the bottle of champagne to Edward. He quickly popped the cork and refilled the glasses, and I felt it was my turn to say something.

"I didn't know this was what we were doing today, but I'm glad. If Jacob was here, he'd ask where the beer was, but those of us who knew him know that was just his way. Well, he's not here physically though I'm sure his spirit is with us. I've got a lot of people here who have stood by me and loved me and helped me get to this point in my life. Jax and I have a lot for which to be grateful. Alice sailed into our lives unexpectedly, and she's turned out to be a godsend. Rose and Emmett are the best neighbors and friends I could ever hope to have. Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, you've taken us to your hearts without reservation, and I thank you. Mom, Dad, and Billy, you're the ones who have supported me during the darkest days of my life, and I love you, and then I get to this man standing next to me.

"He was a surprise, that's for sure. I never saw him coming, and when he showed up, I wasn't sure what to do about him. He wasn't at all what I expected, but he's stuck by me and helped me through some tough times. We haven't known each other very long, but you've crept into my heart, Edward, and before this group assembled here at this special place, I want to say one thing that I know for certain. I love you. For the second time in my life, I'm in love and it feels wonderful. I know if Jacob is here, he's laughing at me, but I'm sure he's happy. He told me to give you a chance, and I did, and well, here we are," I announced quite proudly.

Maybe it wasn't appropriate to tell him at that particular location, but when he pulled me into a kiss, it felt completely right. I was certain that somewhere, Jake was fuming a little, but he was happy for me. I knew he never wanted me to be alone, and I wasn't. I had Edward Cullen by my side. I was lucky.

"Um, there's just enough left in this one to give one last toast," Edward called as he poured a small amount of champagne in everyone's glass and then he set his glass down on the granite base next to the roses. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I had no idea how to stop them.

He picked up Jax and then grabbed my hand, clearing his throat and then he began the most beautiful toast I'd ever heard. "None of this company would have ever come together if it wasn't for one man. He was a son, husband, father, friend, soldier, and he's the reason we're all here together today. So, here's to Jacob William Black. He made a hell of an impact on those who knew him, and those of us who didn't know him know about him because of the extraordinary man he was and the impact he had on those who loved him.

"Without him, Jax wouldn't be here, and his sacrifice in service to his country is something we should all honor every day. I wish I could have met the man because the people who love him are incredible, so I can only imagine how great he was. Here's to Jacob. We all owe him a debt of gratitude," he toasted. I took a small sip from my glass and offered Edward a sip from mine. I saw Billy and my dad tearing up, and I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face.

After we left the cemetery, we all went to my house and had an impromptu cookout. It wasn't what I expected the day to be because it had always been spent with me in bed with the covers over my head and my parents entertaining my daughter without me. Everyone pitched in to help with the food because, as my mother said, many hands made light work. Emmett brought his grill over because I didn't have one, a problem that Edward vowed to rectify because Emmett wouldn't let anyone else use his. I laughed as the two of them argued about the best way to cook hamburgers.

Four years ago, I never imagined laughter coming from me on that particular day, but there I was laughing. I laughed again when Alice instigated a water balloon fight in my backyard, which resulted in Jasper and Jax tackling her and Jasper shoving the hose down her pants causing all of us to laugh as she squealed about the cold water. It actually turned out to be a better day than I ever expected.

When everyone who didn't live at my house was preparing to leave that night, I pulled Edward aside. "Will you stay?" I asked. I wasn't ready to make love to him, but I needed to feel his arms around me.

"Are you sure?" he asked with curiosity in his eyes. We'd shared passionate kisses, but it hadn't gone any further. I was ready for it to go beyond that, but not that night.

"Please stay. I can't give you what you need tonight, but I need to feel you next to me. I promise, I'm not holding out on you, and we'll move forward after this, just not tonight. But, I do want you to sleep with me in my bed," I whispered to him. He didn't answer out loud. He only nodded.

We needed to address the fact that I'd announced to our family and friends that I loved him because he hadn't addressed it, but maybe that discussion would wait for another day. I just knew what I knew. I loved the man, and I needed him to hold me and help me get through the rest of one of the worst days of the year for me. If anyone could do it, Edward Cullen could.

"Redward, you can't do that. You have to go this a-way," I heard as I walked down the stairs the next morning to find Jax showing him how to maneuver in the world of Candy Land. Alice wasn't there, apparently having spent the night with Jasper, and I hadn't heard Jax wake that morning.

"I think I can go this way," Edward called as he placed his game piece behind hers with her firmly ensconced on his lap. I could tell he was trying to let her win, and I couldn't help but smile.

"No, this-a-way," Jax corrected. I'd taught her how to play the game, and I'd be damned if my baby girl wasn't going to play to win.

"Candy Land already?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow. Edward smiled and moved Jax off his lap. Apparently, she liked sitting there as much as I did.

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty. How'd you sleep?" Edward asked.

"Momma, Redward made bread," Jax announced as she picked up another card to move her game piece while kneeling by the coffee table with a huge smile on her face.

I looked at him and he laughed. "French toast and we saved you some. She likes it with strawberry jam, by the way," he announced.

"Just like Redward," Jax added as she moved her game piece one extra space to a better position on the board.

"She cheats, by the way. She gets it from her dad," I added. For once, I didn't feel my heart ache when I spoke of Jake. It was a new frontier for me.

"No kidding? Well, then I suppose this is where two cheaters meet. Now, after you eat breakfast, I'd like to take you girls to my new house and see what you think, and we need to go to the sporting goods store and see what we can find that resembles a pool. Jax and I looked in the backyard and decided that your yard needs a pool," Edward announced. I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, seeing that coffee was made and a plate was in the microwave for me. I hit the buttons to heat up my breakfast and poured myself coffee.

After I ate, I ushered Jax and I upstairs, and we got dressed for the day. I didn't have to work that night, or any other night for that matter, and Edward had two days off. I fully intended to take advantage of them and spend as much time with him as possible.

We milled around Newton's Outfitters and found the seasonal section. Edward found a six-by-eight blow-up pool and a beach ball, and he seemed pretty proud of himself. Of course, Jax found the aisle full of plastic fish and a fishing game, and she beamed at me with pride on her face declaring that my dad could come to the house and fish in her pool. Edward bought it all, and we headed toward the house that he was set on renting.

When we pulled up in front of it, I looked at him like it was a joke. The house was huge, but it was in shambles. The yard was a disaster, and the roof looked as if it had been through a tornado with lots of missing shingles. "You can't be serious about this," I whispered to him after we got out and shoved open the heavy iron gates with the ornate "P" in the center.

It had potential, that was for certain, but that potential would come with a huge fucking price tag. It was a rental property, and if the landlords weren't willing to put the money into it to take care of it, I couldn't imagine why he'd be interested in it.

"I know who owns it, and I think I can get them to invest some capital into fixing it up. What do you really think about it, blemishes aside?" he asked as we climbed out of the CRV.

I looked at it for a long while. It had a wrap-around porch, and it looked like it could be something spectacular with the right loving touches. It needed to be painted, to say the least, and it needed to be refurbished, but it seemed to me that the house had great bones.

"If I had unlimited resources, I think I could make something of this place. The grounds, with work, could be incredible, and the house, itself, has a lot of potential, but Edward, it needs a _lot_ of work. It's a rental, and you don't want to pour that kind of money into something like that," I answered as Jax walked over to a tire swing that hung from a tree in the front yard.

"So, you see something viable here? You wouldn't just tear it down and start over?" he asked as he walked over to where Jax had ventured. I saw him climb on the tire swing and bounce to test the rope, and when he was sure it would hold her, he lifted her onto it. She squealed with laughter as he gently pushed the swing and she swirled about.

"No, I wouldn't tear it down, but as a renter, I wouldn't sink money into it to rehab it either," I answered as I walked over to a spent rose garden. It must have been beautiful in its day.

"Okay, if you owned it, would you fix it up or tear it down?" he asked without looking at me as he gently pushed Jax on the swing.

I surveyed the house again, and I could see that if I owned it and had the money, I'd spend it to fix up the house. It could be stunning, but it would take a lot of money to make it the showplace it had the potential to be.

"If I owned it, I'd fix it up. It's a great structure, provided it's sound, and it looks like it deserves a second chance, just like we all do, I suppose," I answered.

"The first order of business is to replace this tire swing with a new rope and a new tire, I think," he responded. I didn't think he was paying attention to me, so I began walking toward the porch.

"Can we go inside?" I asked him.

"No need. It's got six bedrooms, four bathrooms, a large eat-in kitchen with a family room off the side, a formal dining room and living room, a full basement, and a huge back yard. It's all in disarray, but with a little love, I think it would be perfect," Edward announced. I was lost. Why he'd be willing to sink money into someone else's property and why the hell he wanted such a huge house left me wondering if he'd lost control of his faculties.

"Maybe we should go see the apartment you were thinking about. I'm afraid this one isn't going to be what you want," I replied to him as I turned around and walked back to the car.

"Um, I've got a confession to make. There was never an apartment, love. This is the place I want to live. I actually own this," he announced without looking at me.

"Edward, you didn't _buy_ this did you?" I asked in disbelief. If he did, I hoped he got it for pennies on the dollar.

"I didn't have to. My grandmother left it to me. It hasn't been lived in for years, and before you and Jax came into my life, I was going to sell it for the lot, but now I think I want to fix it up. What do you think?" he asked. I was surprised. It was another thing about him I didn't know.

"How in the H-E-Double-L do you own it?" I asked in disbelief. It had a lot of possibilities, but the house had to have been sitting empty for a long time, and the "P" on the front gate left me confused.

"Um, this was my grandparents' house. When Finn left her, Grandmother wasted away here for a long time until Mom insisted that she move. She hung onto the property and left it to me when she passed, but it's been vacant for years," he answered.

I was so fucking confused that I simply plopped down on the ground and waited for more of an explanation. He continued to gently swing Jax on the tire swing without looking at me. After a few minutes of me looking around at the sight before me, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Edward, who was your grandmother?" I asked.

"That's a long story, but to summarize, do you remember a story about Finn Platte? He fled the country after he was indicted for tax evasion and possible money laundering?" he asked. I was shocked.

The story of Finn Platte was infamous in the Pacific Northwest. He was a timber mill owner who clear cut more acreage than anyone could imagine. His reforestation plans never seemed to get off the ground, which earned him the wrath of every environmentalist on the West Coast. He was later indicted on tax fraud and evasion with a possible money laundering charge thrown in. He'd fled the U.S. before he was arrested…with his secretary no less…and he was still, as far as I knew, on the FBI's most wanted list. Rumor had him in Europe first, then in South America. I remembered reading about it and not knowing what any of it meant, but I'd heard my parents discuss it when I was younger. He'd left behind a disbelieving wife and a married daughter. I had no idea that Esme Cullen was that daughter.

"Um, vaguely," I answered as he continued to swing Jax. She was oblivious, and for that, I was glad.

"Yeah, well, my grandmother, Liz, was left behind. This all occurred when I was younger. Finn thought I was the heir-apparent to take over the timber business, so when I went pre-med, he basically disowned me. He was then indicted and took off. My grandmother got sick after everything went down, and I was determined to drag his ass back here and make him own up to his crimes. I heard he was in Italy, so when I graduated college, I went there. That's when I, um, met Gianna. I stayed in Italy and you know the rest," he answered.

It was fascinating, but there were a lot of unanswered questions. "So, you never found him?" I asked. I really didn't know what else to ask him, but the question seemed innocuous enough.

"I actually saw him once when I was in Rome, but he didn't acknowledge me. I was with Gianna for dinner, and he came into the restaurant with his secretary turned mistress. When I approached him, he spoke in Italian as if he didn't know me and then walked out without acknowledging me. I gave up trying to talk to him after that," he answered. I could see pain on his face and knew that we needed to change the subject.

"So, where are you planning to live until this place gets refurbished?" I asked. I actually didn't have anything to offer him, but it seemed important to ask.

"Um, well, Mom and Carlisle said I can stay there with them as long as I want, but I'm sort of embarrassed about being thirty-one and living with my parents. I was thinking about asking Rosalie to find me an apartment until I can get this place together," he answered. I rose from the ground and walked over to where he was still swinging Jax who was begging to go higher.

"If I didn't have Jax and Alice living with me, I'd gladly take you in. As it stands, I think you see why I…" I began.

"Love, say no more. I'd never ask anything like that because you've got enough on your plate without worrying about me. Anyway, Mom likes having me around, so I'm fine. Now, I think I need an architect to help with this, so I'd like you to find one who you can trust. I'm hiring you, and I'm going to pay you, so no arguments," he ordered.

"Edward, I'd venture a guess that you have a hefty amount of student loans from med school, so it'll be my pet project. I've got to call my portfolio manager to get him to transfer some money around, so I don't need you to pay me. Let's call it a labor of love," I offered.

He laughed. The jackass actually laughed at me as I stood there trying to be nice to him. "Sweetheart, don't worry about the money. Just find me an architect."

After that statement, I had nothing else to say. We left the property and went to Esme and Carlisle's for dinner. When we got back to my house, Edward carried Jax in and helped me settle her into bed, and then he kissed me on my front porch and left. I didn't want him to leave, but he insisted, saying he'd be back in the morning.

When I'd settled into bed, I fired up my laptop and Googled Finn Platte. There were all of the gory details of his indictment and vague references to his family, but the thing that struck me was a recent photo of him in Switzerland with a middle-aged woman and a small girl who appeared to be about eight, and even in the grainy photo from the BBC report, I could see the resemblance between Finn Platte and the little girl. I bookmarked it and went to bed wondering who the young girl was with the couple. The article was in French, and I vowed to find someone who could translate it for me. It seemed important.

\\\

_**E/N: I'm anxious to hear from you. Please don't beat me…**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday! Thank you for your response to the last chapter. I'm truly blessed.**_

_**No tissue alert this time…a bit of citrus, though.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

9.

Bright and early the next morning, I found Edward sitting on my front porch as I went to grab my paper. "Why are you out here? You could have let yourself in. You know where the key is," I asked.

"I think everyone in _town_ knows where that key is, and you should move it. I wasn't going to let myself in uninvited, and I wasn't about to wake anyone. I was enjoying my coffee and the quiet. How'd you sleep?" he asked as he followed me to the kitchen with a paper cup of what I assumed was gas-station coffee.

"You could have knocked or called my cell, you know," I answered as I trekked into the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker. He laughed at me, and then I looked down to see that I was in a pair of sweats that were obviously old, and a torn t-shirt. Sexy lingerie it wasn't.

"Nice duds, by the way. I hope you own something sexier than that for sleeping or else we need to go shopping," he responded. That made me think about why he'd want sexier lingerie, and whether I was ready for it and what came with it.

Was I? Was I ready to move on to more intimacy with the man? We'd had several make-out sessions that left me breathless, but up until that moment, I hadn't really thought about what the next step should be. I thought I was ready for it, but I wasn't sure how to let him know I was ready for it. I decided the indirect route was best because I was, at heart, a complete and utter coward with regard to sex.

"I assumed that when we got to it, it wouldn't matter what I was wearing. I'd be naked, right?" I asked. I saw the look of surprise on his face, and then that sexy damn smile that melted hearts at the hospital every fucking day. He knew he had me, goddammit, and I knew it as well.

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Black, when we get to it, you _most definitely_ will be naked. Any idea when that might happen?" he asked. I knew I was likely challenging his control because when we had our little make-out sessions, I could feel him hard against me. His tongue in my mouth was incredible, but I could tell he pulled back before getting too carried away. I wanted him to get carried away. I wanted us both to get carried away. I just needed a time and place for us to _get_ carried away.

The other thing I needed was to get on birth control. After Jacob died, I continued to go to the gyno but when the subject of birth control came up, I laughed at my doctor and sarcastically told him I had no such need for birth control ever again. It was time to stop laughing and take action.

"Um, I need to make an appointment with my doctor and explore my options before we move on to _that_ step," I answered. I'd been on the pill in high school, but when Jacob enlisted, I went off of it. I was going to start getting the shots instead, but when we got married, I hadn't been to get my first shot. That was how Jax came to be.

"Options? You're not on anything right now?" he asked as I poured him fresh coffee into a cup that wasn't paper. How dense was he? I hadn't thought about sex in years. Why would I stay on birth control?

"Seriously? Why would I be?" I asked as I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table across from him. He seemed to contemplate my answer and arrive at the conclusion that a widow who never intended to fall in love again would have no need for birth control.

"Ah, I see. So, I'm currently in my OB/GYN rotation. Do you have any questions about birth control?" he asked. I couldn't help but laugh at the hope on his face.

"Thanks for the visual of you with a parade of naked women, Dr. Fuck-Em-All, but I think I can handle my own choices with regard to birth control. Now, what do you want to do today? I know that you have to go on duty tonight, but we have the day before us," I answered as I pulled eggs out of the refrigerator.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Dr. Fuck-em-all? Really? That's what you think of me?" he asked. It wasn't completely unfounded, but I was wrong to bring it up, and I felt myself redden at the scolding in his voice. He was right. He wasn't that guy anymore…as far as I knew.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. That's your nickname around the hospital, but I know better," I answered as I sat back down across from him. He looked deeply into my eyes and I almost peeled off my clothes in my kitchen, birth control or not.

"We don't say it much and I haven't _physically_ shown you because I'm waiting for you, but I love you, Bella. I'd never disrespect what we have together by being _that_ guy again. I hope and pray you know it," he answered. I rose from my chair and walked to his, sitting down on his lap, which actually surprised him.

"I love you, too, and you can't tell me enough. I'm sorry if I've been dragging my feet about this, but it's only been a few months for us, and I made Jacob wait four years before I finally gave in. I'm not holding that up as a barometer of how long it's going to take us to get to that stage, but I don't take sex lightly," I answered.

He held me close and kissed my neck. I felt myself completely go up in flames at his touch. He had a way about him that made me want to become a wanton slut, but that just wasn't me. If I didn't have a child who would likely race down the stairs at any moment, I'd be straddling him naked in my kitchen and having my way with him. The dreams I had about him told me it was a way to go.

"I hate to say this because it makes me sound like a son-of-a-bitch, but I'd rather not hear about your sex life with Jacob because I get jealous. I'm sorry, but that's just my nature. Can we please not talk about it? I know that you had sex with your husband, and I love the product of said pairing, but I really don't want to think about it," he responded before he kissed me sweetly on the mouth. As his tongue danced with mine, first in my mouth, then in his, then somewhere in between, I vowed that I'd never again mention anything about the intimacy I'd had with Jacob because Edward deserved better than that from me.

When we heard the pounding footsteps on the stairs, he released his hold on me with a squeeze to my ass and a laugh. Jax padded into the kitchen with her Barbie in tow and stood next to Edward. She held her arms up to him and tilted her head. Without hesitation, he picked her up and kissed her cheek. That little move, whether intentional or not, completely solidified in my heart that Edward Cullen was the man who had helped us heal. He was incredible, and he loved us. We could survive and thrive and grow with him in our lives. He was like "Miracle Grow" for our souls. He was a missing piece of our puzzle, and I didn't' even know it. Somehow, someway, we'd healed. Well, I'd healed. Jax didn't know that there was anything to heal from, but I sure as fuck did.

"What would my two favorite people in the whole wide world like to do today?" I asked as I tried to quell the tears.

"I say we eat breakfast and fill the pool. It's supposed to be sunny today, and we can play in the water. How's that sound, Jax?" he asked as he kissed her cheek again. I wanted to cry and squeal at the same time. How I found him was beyond my comprehension, but he was alive and well and sitting in my kitchen that morning, making me fall in love with him all over again.

"Sounds great," I answered before I made a blubbering fool of myself. I made the three of us breakfast, and as I cleaned up the dishes, he sent Jax to her room to put on her bathing suit.

"I hope you have some scandalous bikini hiding somewhere," he told me as he kissed my neck. Oh, God, I had to get to the doctor because the doctor kissing my neck made me want to take a chance with condoms and hope I wasn't in the three percent who got burned by them. Maybe someday I'd have another child, but I didn't want it to be on accident…I wanted it to be planned, and I knew that I wanted it to be Edward's.

"I actually don't, but maybe I'll shop for one soon. Sorry, all you're going to get is a two piece that's not very scandalous at all. You, on the other hand, have nothing here to swim in," I responded as I turned on the dishwasher.

"Shit, that's right. I have nothing here. I'll run home and grab some shorts and be back in half an hour, hopefully. I haven't really seen my parents in a few days, and if they're home, I'll get stuck. Fuck," he lamented quietly.

"I'll take care of the pool stuff. Go home and pack some clothes…and I don't just mean a pair of shorts. Bring other stuff so that you can stay here and at least have clean clothes to wear. I'll make room for you while you're gone," I announced. Yeah, maybe it was just closet space and a few dresser drawers, but in my world, it was monumental.

"Seriously? You want me to have stuff here?" he asked in disbelief. I couldn't blame him, but I knew I was ready for that much, anyway.

"Well, yeah. I live closer to the hospital than your parents, and I really like you spending time here. Does that bother you?" I asked nervously.

"God, no, it doesn't. I'll be back. After Jax goes to bed, we'll go on-line and find you a tiny bathing suit for when it's just the two of us. There's still a few weeks of warm weather left," he teased as he kissed me sweetly. I touched his face and felt the spark that set my heart racing. He was my chance at a new beginning, and while I'd never completely let go of my past, I knew that planning my future was the next step in healing, and I knew I was ready. Because of Edward Cullen, I was ready.

##

"Jax, the pool is inflatable, not concrete. You can't stand on the side. I'll get a little stool or something if you want to jump in, but you're going to pop it if you try to stand on the side, and then we have no more pool," I admonished as I sat in the water waiting for Edward to return and for Jax to understand that the pool was a blow up.

"Why?" she asked. It was her new thing. Everything was met with a 'why', and most things didn't have an answer 'why' except for the pat parental answer of 'because I said so', which never satisfied any kid on the face of the earth.

As I was trying to formulate my answer, I heard the back door open and saw Edward emerge in a pair of swim trunks with a towel and a huge smile on his face. "I told you your backyard needed a pool," he announced as he walked to where the two of us were sitting in the water. The day was actually sunny and warm, and I was happy about it. I'd slathered us both down with sunscreen, and Jax had the fishing game ready and waiting for Edward.

"The water's kind of cold because the hose comes from the well, but as warm as it is, you get used to it pretty fast," I announced.

Edward looked at me in the very boring two-piece I was wearing and swallowed. "For the sake of the three of us, I hope it's like ice water. That's not a boring bathing suit, by the way," he answered as he quickly sat down in the pool next to me. It was then that it occurred to me that I was showing the most skin I'd ever shown in front of him. The fact that he seemed to be a bit stunned was a huge ego boost for me.

An hour later, I went inside to make us lunch and found a large suitcase and a garment bag resting in the hallway near the stairs. Apparently, the man took it to heart when I told him to bring some things over. I panicked for a moment, and then I decided that I was going to take a deep breath and step back. I wanted him in my house, and I didn't want to question it or overthink it. It was a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say.

I made the three of us grilled cheese sandwiches, and we ate on the back deck at the table, and then we sat in the pool for a while longer. Edward and Jax played with the fishing pole and magnetic fish, and I sat in the sun in the water and watched them, enjoying myself the whole time.

At 2:00 PM, I announced it was time to get out and time for Jax to take a nap, which didn't set well with her. After Edward promised her that he'd be with us for dinner, she allowed me to take her upstairs and change her into shorts and a tank to nap. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

I walked downstairs still in my bathing suit to find Edward standing at the kitchen counter wearing a towel around his waist with his phone in hand, looking at his messages, I assumed. I glanced out toward the back deck and saw that his shorts were hanging over the railing. That, obviously, led me to believe that the handsome man standing in my kitchen was naked under the towel, and I took a deep breath knowing what I wanted to do.

We'd had the talk that morning about the fact that I wasn't on birth control, but there were other things we could do that wouldn't result in pregnancy, and at that moment, I was more than ready to try them out on the good doctor.

"So, Jax will be out for at least an hour," I announced as I snaked my arms around his naked waist. The man was cut and handsome, and I was ready to take a baby step toward the ultimate goal of making love. We had to start somewhere, and I knew exactly where I wanted to start. It was time for an up-close-and-personal encounter with the smaller head, and I was more than ready for it.

"Oh, um she will? I guess I didn't realize she still napped. Well, there're a lot of things I still have to learn about having a little one around. I'll just go get dressed," he began.

"Um, I'll help you," I answered as I pulled away and took his towel with me, leaving the most bitable naked ass I'd ever seen in my life on display in my kitchen. I took in the sight…I'm not going to lie…and then I dragged the towel behind me, seductively I hoped, and began the walk upstairs to my bedroom. I hit the third step and was swooped up into two very strong arms. When I looked at his face, he was smiling like he'd won a prize at a county fair.

"You stole my towel. That wasn't exactly hospitable," he told me as he continued to climb the stairs with me in his arms. I giggled.

He carried me to my bedroom and promptly deposited me on my bed then walked over and closed and locked the bedroom door. When he turned around I got the first look at Dr. Cullen's smaller head, which wasn't so small, and it wasn't droopy either. He was extremely hard, and it brought a smile to my lips because what I planned to do to the man would work a lot better if he was able and willing. The look on his face and the distinct signals he was giving me told me he was more than happy at the prospect of anything.

I walked over to him and kissed him soundly on the mouth so that there was no mistake that I was ready for the next step in our relationship. When I felt his arms engulf me and pull me closer to him, I knew he was on the same page as me, and I didn't hold back.

I attacked the man, without hesitation, and he seemed to be very happy about it. My hands kneaded his chest and arms before I snaked them down his ribs, which caused him to laugh against my lips as his tongue tangled with mine, and all laughing stopped when both hands found the object of my desire. As I pumped my hands up and down his hardness, I felt his breath hitch, and I pulled back from him to look into his eyes.

Without a word spoken between us, I dropped to my knees and took him into my mouth. He was velvet on steel, and the sound of his moans and groans brought me the gratification I sought. I wanted him to know that I wanted him, and in my mind, giving him the ultimate kiss was something that I felt would let him know that I wanted him as much as he'd led me to believe he wanted me.

Feeling him gently stroke my cheek as I moved on him was incredible, and after several minutes, I felt him begin gently moving into the strokes of my tongue on him, and I was certain that he was enjoying himself. He'd been trying to be quiet so as not to wake Jax, but I could tell by the moans and groans coming from him that I was doing something right, so I continued until I heard him gasp, "Fuck." Then, I felt him release in my mouth, and it wasn't unpleasant at all.

Once he stopped pulsing, he pulled himself from my lips with a quick kiss from me to the head of the glorious cock, and he picked me up and carried me to the bed, gently laying me on top of the comforter. "You could give a guy a little warning," he told me as he kissed my neck. I laughed.

"I don't do that to 'a guy'. I do that to a guy who I love, and that happens to be you. I thought the best way to let you know that I'm ready for things to move forward was to take the direct approach. How'd I do?" I asked as he kissed across my chest between the strings that wrapped around my neck from my bathing suit top.

"God, you did very well. Now, my turn," he announced as he pulled my bottoms off and proceeded to dive right in. I had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming, but it seemed that the direct approach worked very well in both directions.

Edward had a small duffel bag with boxers and t-shirts, dress shoes, and a suit and shirt on a hanger sitting on the couch in the living room. We were going to have dinner, and he was going on duty for thirty-six hours. I knew how brutal those shifts could be, and I wasn't looking forward to him being gone from us.

He was in his OB rotation, but he was still on-call in the ER. I was dreading the time away, and I worried about what Jax would think with him being gone for a few days without dropping by. She was too young to understand it, and I didn't want her to think he'd abandoned us.

"Edward has to work for a day-and-a-half day, and then he'll come back and have dinner with us after he gets up. He has to work at the hospital," I explained as I fixed the three of us dinner while he showered to get ready for work.

"Why?" she asked. There it was again, and yet again, it drove me up the wall.

"I have to go help mommies have babies and help sick people get well. When I finish, I'll pick you up and take you to Esme's house because she misses you. While we're there, your mom can meet with the man to help fix my house," he announced as he strolled into the kitchen in a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt. He looked positively lip-smacking.

He picked her up and kissed her cheek before he plopped her into her booster. Once she was settled, he walked to the stove where I was plating the baked halibut, au gratin potatoes and green beans. He gently kissed my neck and whispered, "I love you and I'm going to miss my girls like crazy." That comment made me want to take him back upstairs, especially since I'd sampled the goods earlier and was hooked on the man like a meth addict.

"You know, you can't say that stuff to me and then leave. It makes me want to do very dirty things to you," I whispered as I handed him his plate and kissed his lips very quickly while Jax was preoccupied.

I was quite happy to hear his breathing catch in his chest and hear him laugh. "Okay, you win. You've got the upper hand in this relationship. I'm not even going to try to fight it. By the way, Mom wants to babysit Jax on Saturday night so I can take you out on a proper date. We don't get that many of those, so I'd say we take her up on it," he suggested as he cut up Jax's fish and placed the plate in front of her. The man was incredible, and it seemed to come naturally to him with regard to the things that needed to be done for my daughter. It only made me love him more.

"That sounds great. I'll call her and square it away. Now, let's eat before you have to leave," I answered without one moment's hesitation.

His parents loved Jax, and I knew she loved them…hell, they had the remainder of the Barbie harem at their house, but I still needed to talk to Esme about the things that continued to show up at my house. If my boyfriend thought I didn't notice the karaoke machine and microphone in my daughter's room, tell-tale pink, no less…he was crazy. I knew exactly where it came from, and I'd have to go to the dealer to shut off the supply…if that was even possible.

After dinner, Jax and I walked Edward out to his car, and he kissed us both good-bye and left. I felt like a part of me went with him, but I wasn't actually upset about it because he told me he loved me again, and I felt it radiating off of him. That could get me through the next thirty-six hours, right?

"_Hi, you've reached Esme Cullen. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you_," I heard through the phone that Thursday morning. Edward was due to get off shift at noon on Friday, and Esme had volunteered to watch Jax on Saturday night, so I wanted to make sure it would work out. I wanted to spend time alone with him, and if his mother was willing to allow us that, I wanted to thank her.

"Hi, Esme, it's Bella. I was just calling to talk to you about Saturday night. Call me back when you can. Take care. Bye," I responded.

Jax was still sleeping, and Alice hadn't been home since we'd all had the cookout at my house. I wondered about her, but I was certain that if Jasper had days off, I wouldn't see her. I didn't mind, though, because I knew exactly how it was to be dating a doctor. You took advantage of the off time. It wasn't a surprise that she was doing exactly what I'd do if I had the opportunity.

After Jax got up, we went to the grocery store to stock up for the week, and I made a spur of the moment decision to make Edward dinner and take it to him at the hospital. I knew what the cafeteria food was like, and I determined that a home-cooked meal would do him some good, plus it gave me the opportunity to ogle him in his scrubs which never hurt my feelings. Luckily, Alice called and told me that she was coming home because Jasper was going on duty, so I'd be able to go to the hospital to see him by myself.

When Alice returned home that afternoon, I began cooking. Her compromise for staying at home with Jax was that I make enough dinner for Jasper because he was on duty as well. I knew from a discussion at the mailboxes with Rosalie that Emmett was working as well, so I made enough for the six of us, and invited Rosalie for dinner at seven. I was dropping off the food for the God Squad at six, and we girls were going to eat at seven and then watch "Sex and the City 2" after Jax went to bed. It was going to be a good old-fashioned girlie night complete with manis and pedis, and I was looking forward to it very much. Rosalie was bringing the wine, and Alice had actually made a strudel.

I loaded three plates and three desserts into my CRV and drove to the hospital at 5:45 PM. I'd received a text from Edward that he was taking his break from 6:00 to 7:00, and he'd planned to order pizza. I was happy that I was going to surprise him.

When I strolled into the ER that night I was surprised to find Nancy manning the desk. "Bella Black, I haven't seen you in a while. How are you, Sweetie?" she asked. I really like her. She was a very kind woman.

"I'm good. Where's the God Squad?" I asked. She laughed heartily and typed into the keyboard in front of her with a smile on her face.

"Okay. Drs. McCarty and Whitlock are in the ER, and your man is in the on-call room. He assisted in two deliveries today, and one of the labors was quite long, so I'd venture he's sleeping. I take it that wonderful smell coming from that basket is dinner?" she asked.

"Yeah. Can you leave a page for Jasper and Emmett that dinner is waiting for them? I'll just surprise Edward. Thanks a lot," I called as I took the elevator to the floor where the on-call room was located. I tip-toed into the room and found him out like a light on one of the bunk beds. I placed the two plates I'd made for Emmett and Jasper into the refrigerator with a note on top with their names, and then I went to the bed and lie down next to him. He looked so peaceful, that I couldn't help myself.

I no sooner hit the bed than I felt him jolt awake next to me. His eyes snapped open and he looked surprised. "Baby, is that you or am I still sleeping?" he asked as he pulled me closer. He was in scrubs and his hair was wild.

"It's me. I brought you dinner. I just wanted to feel you next to me for five minutes before I went back home. I'll put your dinner in the fridge with Em's and Jasper's," I whispered to him as he pulled me nearly on top of him.

"You brought me dinner? That's above and beyond the call of girlfriend duty, Mrs. Black," he answered as he settled back on the bed holding me tightly. If I didn't need to get back home, I could have easily fallen asleep in his arms. Of course, that would have been short lived because two minutes later, Emmett came bounding into the room with Jasper on his heels.

"I heard dinner was here. Blacksheep, you're a man among men. Rosie told me you've made me something special. Lead me to it," he called in his booming voice.

"Shh," I answered as I tried to extricate myself from Edward's grasp.

"He's a pussy. I've been up for twenty-four with no stopping. He helped deliver two babies today and did some stitches in a kid who tried to ride a skateboard down a flight of stairs. I have no pity for him. Now, where's the food?" Emmett announced. Jasper nodded in agreement and I laughed.

"You fuckstick, it's in the fridge. Shut up and get out," Edward announced without opening his eyes. He pulled me closer and didn't seem to care that the two men were in the room heating their dinner. When his hand cupped my breast, I had to stop him. It wasn't dinner and a show, by any stretch.

"Edward, honey, I need to get home and get Jax to bed. I'll put your dinner in the fridge now that the wolves have descended, and I'll talk to you tomorrow," I whispered. He moaned and sat up with me, scrubbing his hands across his face.

"I can't possibly go back to sleep with the smell of that incredible food in here. I'll be right back and walk you out," he announced as he rose from the bed and went to the bathroom.

"You've really caused a change in the young Dr. Cullen," Jasper announced between bites of his dinner. Before I could answer, I saw his phone light up on the table and he picked it up and smiled. I assumed it was from Alice, and he was a lost cause for any conversation.

"So, from what I understand, you and the boy wonder are going out on a date on Saturday night and Jax is going to be at the in-laws? Why don't you ask us to baby sit anymore? You know she likes me best. I'm her Memmett," Emmett asked. I couldn't help but laugh at his announcement of the way my daughter said his name.

"Because you two are newlyweds, and you're on until Saturday, so I'd assume that the last thing you'd want to do on a Saturday night is babysit my daughter. Remember the smoking hot blonde you married," I reminded. When I saw the glazed over look on his face, I was ready to go because he, too, was useless for conversation.

Luckily, Edward walked out of the bathroom and smiled at me. "Gents, enjoy. I want the plates back," I called to the two of them as Edward took my hand and led me out of the on-call room. If they said good-bye, it was lost on me because I couldn't focus on anything except the man with whom I was going to make out in the parking lot whether he knew it or not.

As soon as we were standing next to my CRV, Edward swept me into his arms and kissed me passionately, bracing my back against my car. I was a little surprised. When he ground his erection into my hip, I was only sort of surprised. When his hand crept up my shirt and into my bra, I wasn't surprised at all. It all felt incredible.

"Dr. Cullen, you have to go back inside, and those scrubs won't hide the monster in your pants," I gasped as his lips met my neck. I was completely breathless when his lips were anywhere near my skin. I couldn't help myself.

I felt him laugh against my neck. "Monster? You think of it that way?" he asked. If he was looking for compliments, I was prepared to lavish them up one side of him and down the other.

"I most certainly do, and I can't wait for the time in which I feel it inside me. Now, I need to go home. I've got guests to whom I'm being rude, and I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I decided on an IUD. What is your professional opinion on the matter?" I asked.

He pulled his head from my cleavage and looked at me squarely in the eye, smirk in place. "In my professional opinion, it's a very effective method of birth control. In my personal opinion, it's fucking stellar. Should I ask Mom if Jax can spend the night on Saturday?" he asked hopefully.

That reminded me that I hadn't heard back from her, and I was worried about it. "I called her today and she didn't get back to me. Did you see her?" I asked.

"Actually, I haven't heard from her, and I went up to her office this morning and she wasn't there. Anyway, don't worry about it. Can I ask her?" he asked again. I knew what he meant by his request, and I was ready for it. I was more than ready for it.

"Yes. If you talk to her, ask her if Jax can spend the night. Tell her I'll trade her, one kid for the other. You can spend the night at my house," I joked. He kissed me soundly on the mouth just as his beeper went off, signaling that he was needed somewhere.

"Shit. Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow, babe. I love you," he responded, kissing me again before he left to jog back to the ER. I watched him until he was inside, and I couldn't contain my smile. He was mine, and we were going to seal the deal on Saturday night. I was ready, and I was quite excited at the prospect.

"Hi, Esme," I answered the phone just as we were finishing up dinner at my house. Alice had volunteered to take Jax up and get her bath, and Rosalie was helping with the dishes. Apparently, my offer to make dinner was well-received, and my friends were more than willing to help me with the evening chores so that we could drink more wine and watch our movie.

Alice had the coffee table set up with supplies for manicures, and the three of us were going to change into pajamas. Rosalie had decided to sleep over as well, and I was very excited about it.

"Hi, honey. How's Jax?" Esme asked. She sounded quite exhausted, and I was immediately worried. I wasn't privy to the comings and goings at the hospital, and Edward and I rarely talked about what was going on there, so if there were problems, I wasn't aware.

"She's fine. Look, Edward mentioned that you and Carlisle wanted to babysit her Saturday night, but if you're too tired, we can rain check our date. We can just stay in and watch a movie," I offered her the out.

"What? Oh, no, dear. We're looking forward to it very much. I've just been very busy at the hospital. We're trying to find another pathologist, and Dr. Volturi is being extremely difficult with regard to the candidates I've introduced to him. You know what an old piss he is when he's in a good mood, so you can imagine how much of a bastard he's being about it since he's angry. Anyway, please let Jax spend the night. I know Edward's going to bring her over tomorrow afternoon while you meet with the architect and contractor, so why don't you come over for dinner after?" she asked. It was then that I had a great idea.

"Okay. Um, you wouldn't happen to have any pictures of the house before it fell into disrepair, would you? Edward seems to have a lot of fond memories from spending time there with Liz, so maybe I could use some of the original design and update it. When I was inside the house, it was hard to get a feel for anything because it was empty and rundown. I just want Edward to be happy about it," I requested.

He'd given me the key and I'd gone over one afternoon and checked out the place, actually pleased that the inside wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be. It would still be a big job, but it most definitely wouldn't take as long as I'd originally imagined.

"Oh, yes, I've got a lot of pictures. I tell you what, I'll drop the box off at your place in the morning on my way to work, and you can bring it back with you tomorrow night. Maybe showing the architect and contractor some of the old photos would help spark ideas. I'll just leave it on your front porch," Esme answered.

We said our good-byes, and I went to the living room and settled in with my friends to paint my toenails and watch the "Sex and the City" women in Dubai. The fashion, which was the fifth star of the movie as Alice announced, was supposed to be out there. I was certain I wouldn't get it, but the other two were excited, and I wanted to spend the evening with them. It was the first time in a long time that I had done something with women my own age. Usually it was Jax and my mom. It was another change in my life about which I was very happy.

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_**E/N: Big things are coming up. Let me know your thoughts.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. You guys rock!**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

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10.

The next morning, Alice and I were drinking coffee and sorting through a large box of photos that Esme had left on my front porch as promised. I was surprised that they were in such a mess because Esme Cullen appeared to be one of the most organized women I'd ever met, but I supposed everyone had their "junk drawer" somewhere. Hers just happened to be photos in a large cardboard box.

I'd gone to my gynecologist appointment earlier that morning and was the proud owner of a new IUD. As far as I was concerned, all systems were go for Edward and me the next night, and I was quite excited at the possibilities. I also knew that I wanted to shower and change before my appointment at the Platte house, so I was in a hurry to sort through the pictures and get upstairs to take care of things.

"Wow. I know what you can do for her for Christmas or her birthday. You could organize these and put them in photo albums or something," Alice suggested as we sorted through them, looking for pictures of Edward's grandmother's house.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll talk to Edward about it. He probably knows who the people are in the pictures and would be able to help me make some sense of it all," I responded. Jax was with Rosalie for a couple of hours to give us the opportunity to have some time to work, and I was grateful for the quiet.

I rose from the table and poured us each a refill of coffee and grabbed another stack of photos. As I was leafing through pictures of Edward as a child, noting how adorable he was, I heard Alice gasp. "Who is _this_?" she asked as she handed me a picture.

I looked at it, and it didn't take much time for me to figure it out. It was Edward holding a small baby with a beautiful brunette woman in a hospital bed next to him. The smiles on their faces told the story of their happiness, so there was no mistaking who it was. "That must be Gianna, Edward's girlfriend, and Chelsea, his daughter," I answered as I studied the picture. The woman looked familiar, but not much so. I knew I'd never had the occasion to run into her, but I couldn't shake the feeling. The baby was adorable.

"_Daughter_? Edward has a daughter?" Alice gasped. Apparently, she didn't know the story. I'd have assumed that it would have come out at some point in time, but obviously by the look of shock on her face, it hadn't.

"Um, yeah. He was in Italy for two years after undergrad. He met Gianna there and they fell in love. They had a baby, and he was trying to arrange for the two of them to come back to the states with him when they were killed in a car accident," I explained.

I couldn't help but stare at the picture. She was a beautiful woman, and the love on his face was unmistakable. It twisted in my gut because I knew that there were pictures of Jacob and me that had the same looks on our faces, and I knew how much I missed him. I had Jax. I could only imagine how Edward felt for losing both of his loves.

"Oh, here's one where the little girl is older. She was a beautiful baby," Alice announced as she handed me a picture of Edward holding his daughter in one arm with Gianna perched on his lap. There was an older woman standing behind them who looked like Gianna, only older, and the three adults were smiling.

"She really was. His girlfriend was quite beautiful as well. I wonder if that's her mother?" I asked, handing Alice the picture. I leafed through the photos in front of me and found several pictures of Edward with a woman who looked like Esme in a room I recognized was the living room of the house. There was a Christmas tree in the background, and the two were standing in front of it next to the fireplace that I recognized. As I continued to look through the pictures, I found a lot more taken at the Platte house that would be helpful, so I put them aside and pulled out another stack of photos.

"Looks like it could be. The older woman is beautiful as well. I wonder what happened to her after she lost her daughter and her granddaughter. That would be a very difficult thing to get through, I'm sure. How does Edward deal with it?" Alice asked innocently.

"As far as I can really tell, he doesn't, but I'm not one to judge because I can barely get by on my own," I answered as I studied the picture of Edward with the two women. Something was nagging at me about it, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't want to ask Edward what had happened to Gianna's mother, but I decided I would ask Esme if the opportunity presented itself. I slipped the picture into the stack of photos I'd collected of the Platte house in its hay day, determined to figure out why it bothered me.

I looked up at the clock and saw that I needed to shower and change to go out to the site to meet the contractor and architect, and I was very excited. Alice was going with me, but of course, she was already dressed in a cute sweater and a skirt. She was a lot more on the ball than me, not surprisingly.

"I'm going to go shower. Rose and Jax should be back soon, and Edward should be home any minute now to pick Jax up. I'll be back," I announced as I rose from the table and put the pictures into my tote bag.

"_Home_? Things sound quite cozy between the two of you," Alice teased. I couldn't help but smile.

"Um, can you stay at Jasper's tomorrow night? Jax is staying at Esme's for the night," I requested, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks as visions of the two of us naked rolled through my head like a porno movie. Her laugh behind me was the only thing I heard as I ran upstairs to shower.

During my shower, I thought about the photo, and as I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, I remembered something that I'd bookmarked on my laptop. It was a picture of Finn Platte with a woman and a young girl in Switzerland.

I quickly finished and wrapped a towel around my hair and then a towel around myself and went to my laptop that was sitting on my nightstand, pulling up a web browser. I pulled up the BBC article I'd bookmarked and looked at the woman again. There was no way…

I quickly dressed in a khaki skirt and white blouse and pulled my wet hair into a low ponytail at the base of my head. I applied a little make-up, slipped on a pair of black flats to make my way downstairs. As I buttoned my blouse, I looked at my wedding band that hung from a chain around my neck and decided that if I was going to truly move forward, it was time to take it off.

I slipped the chain over my head and kissed the ring in my hand, placing it into my jewelry box and praying that Jake would understand. I sighed and closed the lid, and I walked downstairs carrying my laptop to find the picture I'd put aside in my tote.

Just as I was about to pull the photo out of the stack, I heard the doorbell. I went to the door to find Edward, looking very tired, with Jax in his arms. "Sorry, I'm not buying," I teased and pretended to close the door to them.

"MOMMA!" Jax shrieked. I heard Edward laugh, and I pulled the door open for them. He put her down and she ran inside without another word, allowing me to kiss the handsome man standing in my doorway with the most adorable stubble and sleepy smile on his face I'd ever seen.

When we broke apart, I moved aside to allow him in. "How was work?" I asked as he slowly walked into the kitchen and went to the cupboard, pulling down a mug and pouring himself some coffee.

"It was long. I ran into Rosalie just as the two of them got back. What's this?" he asked as he perused the stacks of pictures on the table. Alice was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't exactly ready to address the pictures of he and Gianna in the box, so I quickly began placing the stacks back inside.

Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough because he picked up a stack that Alice had compiled and saw that they were pictures of Gianna, Chelsea, and him. I could see the pain on his face, and I immediately felt like fucking hell.

"I'm sorry. I was looking for pictures of the Platte house to take with me to the meeting today, and your mom just dropped off the box. I'm sure she didn't even think about exactly what was inside. Gianna was a beautiful woman, Edward. You two looked truly happy," I responded, trying to put him at ease. He'd seen the pictures of Jake and me around my house, and he'd been very sweet about them. I didn't want him to think I'd be any less understanding than he'd been.

"_That bitch_," he snapped. I looked up quickly, seeing him looking at a picture of Gianna with a couple who I assumed were her parents.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to come home to this. I'm taking the pictures back to your mom's house tonight. Please don't be upset," I pleaded. I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but the anger was written all over his face.

"That's Didi and Marcus, Gianna's parents. They were so shitty to me after the accident. Didi refused to even tell me where they were buried or wait for me to be at the funeral to be able to say good-bye. From what I heard from friends in Italy, Marcus went bankrupt and she divorced him. He couldn't get over the loss of his only daughter and granddaughter, and when the money ran out, so did Didi. I actually feel sorry for him. Gianna was more like her father than her mother, thank God," Edward explained without really acknowledging my presence as he continued to stare at the photo.

I wasn't sure how to proceed. If my gut was right, there was a huge secret that had the potential to change his life that I couldn't _not_ tell him. I decided to broach the subject in an ass-backward way, hoping I didn't piss him off in the process. "Um, Edward, honey, how do you actually know that Gianna and Chelsea are dead? Did you see any proof of it?" I asked. I knew I was trekking through a minefield, and I prayed it didn't blow me up.

His head shot up to look at me, and I could see a flash of anger which looked like disbelief at the fact that I'd asked the question. "Fuck, I don't know? How do you know Jacob was in that box?" he snapped angrily. I knew he didn't mean it to come out the way it had, but it still stung. I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the article and picture from the BBC.

"I know Jake was in that box because I had a death certificate and identification by his CO in Iraq. I had his dog tags and personal effects, and I had my heart ripped out of my chest at the news. Now, how old was that woman when Chelsea was born?" I asked bitterly pointing to Gianna's mother. I didn't mean to snap at him, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry. Your question just caught me off guard. Um, Didi is my mother's age," he responded. That information made my theory plausible.

I turned my laptop toward him and ordered, "Look at this. Is this Didi with your grandfather?"

His first look at me was as if I'd lost my mind. I pointed to the picture, and he flopped into the chair and pulled the laptop closer. His second look at me was one of complete shock. "Fuck. That has to be Didi. Who's that little girl?" he asked. I knew I didn't have to tell him. I was certain he knew exactly who the child was.

"Chelsea? You think that's Chelsea?" he asked. I could see the astonishment on his face.

"I don't know, but it's awfully coincidental that your grandfather is photographed with your girlfriend's mother and they are holding hands with a little girl who appears to be about the age that Chelsea would have been at the time. This picture is approximately eighteen-months old. They were in Switzerland at the time. I found it a few weeks ago, but I wanted to get someone to translate the text of the article for me. Of course, I haven't had time to find someone who speaks French, and I kind of forgot about it until Alice and I started going through the photos today," I explained.

Just then, Jax ran into the room with a backpack on her back and a smile on her face. It immediately fell when Edward didn't acknowledge her. Alice breezed in behind her and noticed that there was a problem. "Um, Jaxie, come on and let's go watch Blue for a few minutes before you, um, yeah," she instructed, grabbing my daughter by the hand and leading her back out of the room.

"Look, I'll take Jax with me to Platte house unless you don't want to pursue the remodel. I can call Peter O'Rourke and cancel," I offered, seeing that he was completely zoned out.

"I, uh, I need to go home. Don't cancel. I just, I need to think. I'll talk to you later," he responded before he rose and walked out of the room. I heard the front door close, and I wondered if that was the moment that I'd lost him.

I knew that if he thought there was a chance that his daughter was alive anywhere on the planet, he'd never stop looking for her, as I would have done in his position. I was pretty certain that he'd be on the next flight to Europe, and I couldn't help the tears. As much as I hoped that he found his daughter alive and well, I was grieving for our loss of him. I was certain he'd never come back to us, and it was just as difficult as when I'd lost Jake.

I sent Alice to meet with Peter O'Rourke, and I took Jax out into the backyard to play in the pool. I had no idea how to tell her that maybe Edward was never coming back to us. I was heartbroken when I lost Jacob. I had no idea how to deal with how Jax would feel if we lost Edward. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, yet again in my life.

Saturday night came and went, and five more after them. Jax and I were settling into a new routine…emptiness. Edward's clothes were still in my closet, but I'd heard nothing from him since he took off from my house that Friday afternoon.

Emmett told me that he'd taken a leave of absence from his program and he'd gone to Europe. Eric told me that "Momma Bear" was taking a leave of absence from the hospital, and when I drove over to the Cullens' house to return the pictures, the house was closed up. I sat on the front steps and cried for an hour, grateful that Alice had taken Jax to the park.

I rarely slept, and I had no appetite. It wasn't as bad as losing Jacob, but it almost was. At least I knew that Edward was alive somewhere on the planet, though I believed I'd never see him again. I knew in my heart that he had to go look for his daughter. If I'd been in his shoes, I'd have done the same thing, but I'd hoped that I'd at least have sent him a text message that I was fine.

Alice was busy working on the house, but I didn't have the heart to help her. She didn't seem to be in need of my help, so I left her to it. We didn't talk about any of it, and I was glad that she respected my privacy. I was in full-on denial regarding the whole thing, and I didn't know what to do. I'd dug myself out of the hole once before, but being back in it found me without the strength to fight. That wasn't good at all.

"Have you heard from any of them?" my mom asked as she stood in my kitchen making dinner for my birthday. Jax had started pre-school, and it had been another week of hearing nothing from any of the Cullens.

"Nope," I answered as I swirled the wine in my glass. Emmett, Rose and Jasper were supposed to join my parents and Alice to celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. I was in no mood for celebrating, but my friends and family weren't taking no for an answer.

"Honey, I know it looks bleak, but that boy loves you. I know he'll be back. You just have to have a little faith," Mom assured. I wasn't quite so optimistic.

"Mom, if Chelsea's alive, maybe Gianna is too, and if she is, Edward will never come back. He loved her as much as I loved Jacob, and if I thought there was any way in hell that Jacob was alive somewhere on this earth, I'd spend everything I have to find him. I'd search until my dying day to find him. Edward's never coming back, I just know it. Look, I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm going to bed," I told her as I walked back upstairs to my bedroom and closed the door. I cried myself to sleep again, but it wasn't restful.

"Bells, long time no see. Where's the red-headed doctor?" Jacob asked. I looked around the room and found myself in the kitchen in Ft. Hood again. The coffee was on the table, and he looked exactly as he had when we were young. I felt like I was fifty-years old, but he looked like the teenager who'd won my heart many years ago.

"I honestly don't know. There's a chance his daughter might be alive somewhere and he went to look for her. I can't blame him at all, but my heart is breaking," I responded. I picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip, not tasting it at all.

"So, you're going to go all the way back to _this_? Do you realize that if you keep going down this road, there may come a point in time when you can't stop it? You don't want to die alone, do you?" he asked. Of course, he was right.

"NO! I don't want to die alone. I didn't think I would when Edward came along, but it seems that I'm destined to be alone. Why does this keep happening to me?" I asked. I felt the tears streaming down my face, and I didn't give a damn.

"Honey, I know it looks bleak right now, but have a little faith. He still loves you, you know. The love that you two have doesn't just go away. Look, this is a one-time deal because I'm not going to let you do this to yourself again. It was hard enough back in August for you to let go of me, and I don't want that to happen again, so I'm going to tell you this and then I'm out.

"Give the man a chance to do what he needs to do, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Get your ass involved in the remodel of his house, and find that optimism that you had after you let me go. Don't lose it, Bella. Jax needs you. She wasn't old enough to be aware of how sad you were when you were mourning me, but she's missing Cullen as much as you are. You need to be there for our daughter," Jacob instructed. He rose from the chair and walked out, leaving me sitting in the kitchen alone.

I jolted awake and looked at the clock seeing it was nearly 7:00 AM. I got up, showered, and went downstairs to the kitchen, turning on the radio and beginning breakfast. I had to carry on for my daughter. She was missing Edward as much as I was, and it was my job to take care of her.

Once again, I didn't have the luxury to wallow in misery. I had a little girl who needed me, and I would be there for her. I could push my aching heart down and feign happiness for her. It was my job as her mother. I wouldn't fail my daughter, and I prayed that Edward found his.

"Baa, baa Blacksheep. I'm here to rake the leaves," Emmett sang as he stood on my front porch that October morning. I hadn't heard from the Cullens, but from what I understood, Esme had called and taken another month's leave. I truly hoped they were all okay.

"You don't have to do that. I can rake my own leaves," I answered as I let him in the house that morning. Jax was finishing breakfast, and I'd noticed that Rosalie seemed to be very busy of late, so I was certain that Emmett was at my house to exchange raking my leaves for breakfast. It didn't escape my notice that his eyes lit up as he noticed the pancakes on my abandoned plate.

I'd been working with Alice at Edward's house, and the construction was moving along quite nicely. We'd knocked the wall out between the kitchen and the family room, and widened the doorway between the dining room and kitchen to open up the space. The upstairs room that appeared to be a nursery was absorbed into one of the master suites. It opened up the bedroom, and it allowed for a large walk-in closet. The small room couldn't really be considered a bedroom, but the design of the house suggested that the room was off the bedroom that Liz probably used, and the other master was probably Finn's.

We made one of the five remaining bedrooms into a den, and we remodeled the guest bath to include a soaking tub and a separate shower. I was sure if Edward didn't want to live in the house, it would sell for a very good price because it was like a dream home.

"Breakfast?" I asked Emmett. Without waiting for an answer, I went to the griddle and poured batter onto it to make him some blueberry pancakes. He didn't protest at all, scooping Jax up from her booster and plopping her on his lap.

"So, have you heard from him? Simmons, for whatever reason, is holding his slot until Christmas, but if he doesn't come back by then, he's out. I don't know if he can get into another program if he blows this one," Emmett announced without saying his name, for which I was grateful.

I didn't want to remind Jax of Edward. She'd asked me too many times where he was and my answer was that I didn't know which always made her sad. We were just getting to the point where she was beginning to be herself again, and I didn't want a setback. She'd actually started wetting the bed again, and it had been a lot of work to get her out of that funk. Things were just starting to get better.

"Nope. Not a word. Can we not, uh, talk about him? She doesn't understand, and she misses him very much. It's just getting back to normal, sort of. She asks about him every day, and I don't know what to tell her," I answered as I flipped the pancakes onto a plate and handed it to him. I poured him a glass of orange juice and settled at the table across from him.

"Hey, Little Blacksheep, go put on some warm clothes and shoes and come outside and help me rake leaves. We can jump in them before we bag 'em," Emmett instructed. She smiled and jumped from his lap and she was off. As soon as she was out of the room, I saw Emmett take a sip of coffee and heard him clear his throat.

"Listen to me, Bella. I've known Cullen for a long time, and I know what he's doing, but I also know how he feels about you. Don't give up on him. He needed to go find out if that girl in the picture was his daughter, and he's going to come home. I'm not agreeing with the way he went about things, but I know he loves you. Don't write him off just yet, okay? I've seen you come a long way from the girl who moved in here, and I know you two are good for each other. You have to find your way out of the shit you're dealing with right now, and allow him his time as well. He never dealt with Gianna's death, much less dealt with losing his little girl, and if there's a chance in hell that Chelsea is still alive, he'll search the world over for her. I'm not saying wait for him, but please don't hate him for it," Emmett explained.

I couldn't ever hate him for it, because if I was in his shoes, I'd do the same fucking thing. I'd have appreciated a phone call, but maybe he just couldn't concentrate on anything other than finding his daughter. I could appreciate that because I'd be exactly the same way. "Look, I get it, but I wish he'd at least call or something. I just want to know he's okay," I answered. I rose from the table and began cleaning the kitchen without another word.

"Momma, Memmett. Redward's on TV," Jax yelled from the living room. We both scrambled to the living room and there he was on television with Carlisle and Esme. I turned up the volume and was shocked.

"_American citizen, Dr. Edward Cullen, is fighting for custody of his daughter in the Italian courts. Papers filed in the custody case reveal that Dr. Cullen was led to believe…" _the newscaster went on to explain the story. I was shocked that he'd found her. There were reporters everywhere, and he looked so distraught. The pain in his eyes was evident, and I couldn't help but cry at the sight of him.

Alice came crashing in through the front door with Jasper in tow. Apparently, they'd already heard the news. "Bella, you need to go to Italy," she called. I looked at her in disbelief. I didn't even have a passport, forget about the money. I also had a very important person who was my responsibility…my daughter. I couldn't just go jetting off to Italy to be with a man who I wasn't even sure had feelings for me anymore.

"I can't go to Italy. I've got Jax, and I don't have a passport," I responded incredulously. I couldn't just pick up and take off to Italy, could I?

"I can get you a passport by Monday. Alice and I will take care of Jax. I've got some time off, and when Alice needs to be out at the building site, I'll take Jax with me to hang out. You need to go," Jasper announced.

"I'll watch the house, and I'll get you a ticket. Go. He needs all the support he can get. Look at him," Emmett announced pointing toward the television at the repeat of the footage of Edward and his parents wading through a sea of cameras.

"Wait. If Chelsea is alive, how do we know that Gianna isn't as well? I don't even know that he still has feelings for me, and if Gianna's still alive, I'm sure I'm the last person he'd want there," I replied. It was a distinct possibility in my opinion.

"If Gianna was alive and they were on good terms, he wouldn't be fighting for custody of his daughter in a court in Italy. Either she's dead or she's not what he thought she was. It sounds like he's trying to get the Italian courts to allow him to bring his daughter back to the U.S. He needs you, Bella. If you love him, take a leap of faith and go. Go support him like he's supported you," Alice reasoned. She was right. I needed to be there with him, and I wasn't going to think twice about it. For once, I was going to follow my heart and not my common sense.

The reporter signed off that he was in Rome, so that was where I was going to start. I called Esme's service and left a message that it was an emergency and I needed to get in touch with her. An hour later, her secretary called back, and somehow I was able to get her to tell me at which hotel they were staying…the _Atlante Garden Hotel _near _St. Peter's Basilica_. I booked my flight to leave on Tuesday at 9:30 AM with a stop in Detroit, of all places. I was set to arrive on Wednesday at 10:00 AM at Da Vinci Airport outside of Rome. When I saw the price, I gulped hard, but I had to do it. There wasn't another choice, in my mind.

As I stood in customs at Da Vinci Airport, I couldn't believe that I was in Italy. It was the first time I'd been anywhere outside the U.S., other than Canada when I was a kid, and I had to keep pinching myself. The past three days had been a whirlwind of activity, and I still couldn't believe it. Esme had called me back after I left a message for her, and she was extremely apologetic regarding the way in which the three of them took off, but she was blissfully happy that I was making the trip. She told me he needed me, but he refused to call me and ask me to come because of Jax and how he'd abruptly left.

She told me that Gianna wasn't alive, but Chelsea was. The story was going to be told to me when I arrived in Italy because it was too incredible to deliver over the phone, so I gave her my flight information and we hung up. I hoped her son was happy to see me because I needed to see him like I needed to breathe.

After I cleared customs, I pulled my suitcase along to find a taxi stand to get to the hotel. I was stunned to see Edward waiting for me outside of security. I couldn't help myself. When I saw him, I ran to him with my suitcase careening in all directions, nearly taking out several people in the process. As soon as I was out of the security exit, I found myself in his arms and I let the tension release from my body the only way I could…I cried. It was what I did best, apparently. Maybe I should have become a professional mourner. God knew, I could cry at the drop of a hat.

"God, I can't believe you came. I thought my mother was lying to me," he whispered as he picked me up when I flung myself into his arms. I didn't know why I hadn't heard from him, and that was something we'd have to talk about, but I was there for him. I was grateful to the fates that he was happy to see me. I'd missed him with all my heart.

"I don't know why you didn't call me, but we'll get to that. I'm here to support you in any way you need me. I love you, you damn fool. I'd have come with you if you'd asked. It wouldn't have killed you to call me, you know," I chastised as he held me aloft.

"I fucked this up so much, but I was so shocked when you showed me that picture that I couldn't even think straight. Come on, let's go," he responded taking my suitcase and pulling me with him. We walked out of the airport and caught a cab. Edward rattled off something in Italian, and the cab driver nodded.

He settled back in the seat next to me and looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. "You're incredible, do you know that?" he asked. He kissed me gently and touched my cheek so tenderly that it felt like an angel's kiss. I found it hard to maintain my control, but the jostling of the cab reminded me where we were. I'd missed him so much, but I didn't know what he was going through, so to throw him down on the back seat of the cab and strip him down was probably a bad idea.

"You, sir, are a jackass, and I'd love nothing more than to tear you limb from limb, except that I've missed you more than I can even begin to articulate. Jax was inconsolable when you left, and my father would like to string you up by your testicles, save the fact that he understands why you came to Italy. He's not unsupportive of your mission, it's just the fact that you walked out on me without a word and I haven't heard from you for weeks," I explained.

I saw the look of pain on his face, and I felt guilty for putting it there, but he had to understand that we'd grown attached and while his quest was noble, his departure wasn't. He'd just left us without a word, and I had a daughter who loved him as much as I did. He couldn't just pick up and leave without a word unless he was done with us.

"I'm so sorry. I hate that I did it the way I did. I became crazed once I saw that picture. I didn't even really explain things to my parents, I just took off. They followed me because they were worried about me, and we've been all over Europe trying to find them. Finally, Didi came back to Rome to her house, and we were able to find her before the three of them took off to Africa. When Finn found out we were here, he left like the lowdown dog he is. Mom is heartbroken, which is why she didn't come with me today, but we've got Didi in court and she'll have to answer for her behavior. We had to have a DNA test run and that took time, but now I have a leg to stand on, and my chances are good," he responded.

"I'm happy for you, really I am. I'm only staying for three days. I just wanted to come and support you, but I have to get back to Jax. She saw you on television and she's having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're gone. I almost didn't come, but Alice convinced me that you needed me, and after I talked to Esme, I couldn't _not_ come.

"I'm here to support you in this, but when I leave on Friday, don't contact us again. I can't put my daughter through this again, Edward. She's too attached to you, and I can't stand to see her hurting. I'm a big girl and I can handle it, but my three-and-a-half year old can't. You were the closest thing to a father that Jax has ever had in her life, and when you left us the way in which you did, it broke her heart. I can't have that again," I explained. I didn't want to make him feel guilty, but I guessed that I was. He had to understand that he left us with nothing, and my daughter, by my own fault, had gotten attached.

"Bella, fuck, I'm so sorry. I never, ever meant to hurt you or Jax. I love her and I love you. I know I was wrong, but please, please, let me try to make it right. I've gotten to spend time with my daughter, and trust me when I say she and Jax will get along very well. They're a lot alike. Lots of energy and quite happy. I know how much I fucked up, but I'll do everything I can to make it up to both of you. I need you both in my life. I've missed you two so damn much. I know I should have called you, and I should have let you know what I was doing. I know that, but at the time, I just couldn't think about anything except finding her. I don't know if you can understand any of it, but that's all I can offer by way of an excuse," he responded. By then we pulled up in front of the hotel, and he paid the cab.

The doorman opened the door, and I climbed out. After retrieving my suitcase, I went to the desk to check in. "You don't need a room. You can stay with me," he determined. I knew better than to let that happen. Edward and I alone in his hotel room was a bad mix. I was there as a friend and nothing more, and if I stayed with him in his room, he'd get the wrong idea. I wasn't going to let anything more happen between us than just being friends because I wasn't about to bury myself under the covers again.

"No. I have my own room. I'm here as your _friend_, Edward. We're friends, and I'm staying in my own room. When you left us and didn't call, that completely decimated the romantic relationship we were trying to build. I'll never let that happen again, but I can be your _friend_," I announced as I slid my rarely-used credit card across the desk to the clerk. After it was processed, a keycard was handed to me and I proceeded to the elevators to go to my room to shower and change clothes. I didn't know exactly what the day would hold, but I knew I needed a shower. It had been a long flight.

"Look, I need to call Alice and check on my daughter. It's nearly 9:00 PM in Seattle. I'm going to shower and take a nap. When do you have to be in court?" I asked.

"Tomorrow at 9:00 AM," he responded.

"Fine. I'll meet you in the lobby at 7:30 for breakfast. Thank you for meeting me at the airport. I'll see you in the morning," I responded as I pulled my suitcase toward the elevators. I knew that once I was in my room, the tears would come, and I was actually looking forward to it because my chest was aching for the release.

_**\\\**_

_**E/N: Please let me know what you think. I'm sure you've all got a lot to say on the matter… One word, friends…faith.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: I know I p*ssed a lot of you off with the last chapter, but many of you said you had faith in me and will stick with me…I'm counting on you! Thank you for your reviews…even the ones that said you hated it. I appreciate hearing from you, and I truly appreciate that no one attacked me, personally, in their reviews. I can understand that we all don't always like the direction a story takes, but I've been on the receiving end of nasty comments regarding me personally, and I was tempted to pull the story altogether (not this one…another one). Thank you for not doing that to me.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Here we go…**_

_**\\\**_

11.

Vacillation is a horrible emotion, of that I was certainly convinced. Part of me…the part of me that spotted the beautiful, broken man in the airport and rode in the cab with him to the hotel…wanted to hold him and make love to him and keep him from experiencing any more hurt than he'd already experienced at the hands of the horrible people who'd lied to him about his daughter for all of those years. The years that they'd been kept apart were years he'd never get back, and it broke my heart for him.

Missing first days of school and school plays and birthdays and Christmases when they're little and easily excitable were horrible things to have taken from him, but those people did it and I'd hate them forever for it.

The other part of me…the part of me who remembered all the tears I'd cried for him and how hurt my daughter was that not only her Redward, but his parents, had so easily left us alone without a call or postcard or anything…wanted to line the three Cullens up in front of a wall and shoot them with a Howitzer.

Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but a little daydream had crept in there about it when I sat in the courtroom listening to Edward's attorney put forth proof that Edward was, indeed, Chelsea's father and _that_ fact had been acknowledged by Gianna prior to her death. I wasn't sure what all the documentation was that was presented because it was all in Italian, but the interpreter who was whispering in Esme and Carlisle's ears seemed pleased with it.

Over the next three days, I kept to myself for the most part. I went with Edward and his parents to court and held his hand in support, but when the hearings were over at the end of the day, I took my own cab and went sightseeing. I'd never been to Rome before, and I wanted to see something before I left because I'd probably never get back there again.

It was a beautiful place, and I was lucky to get to tour the Basilica, go to a couple of museums and cafes, and take a driving tour around the city. I stayed away from the Cullens as much as possible because I didn't want to come unglued and go off on them regarding how I felt they'd treated my daughter and me, so I stayed to myself.

Friday morning, I packed my shit and was getting ready to head to the lobby to check out when there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Carlisle standing there in a sweater and khakis. He looked distraught, and I was worried.

"Carlisle, what are you doing here?" I asked. I was ready to leave and had a short window to get to the airport for check-in, so I didn't really have time to chat.

"I wanted to tell you that we appreciate the fact that you came here to support our son. For two psychiatrists to allow this whole thing to get so mucked up makes me wonder if Es or I should even have our licenses. Look, we completely fucked up this whole thing with regard to you and Jax. We abandoned you two, and that just wasn't right at all. We consider you part of our family, and I have no excuse, save stupidity, to offer. When you showed Edward that picture, we all lost our heads. We just wanted to find our granddaughter, and we let that mission cloud our better judgment. We're so very sorry, we can't begin to apologize," he offered.

I'd heard the apologies all week, and I'd forgiven them for the most part, but I was done with them. I knew why they'd run off the way that they had, but a phone call to us on occasion wouldn't have killed them. That seemed to be the crux of the matter…we didn't mean enough to them that we were worth a phone call. I didn't know how we'd get passed that, but I didn't have time to explore it. I needed to leave for the airport because I needed to get back to my daughter.

"Look, I came here to support Edward because he was supportive of me when I went through some dark times. I can see that things are likely going to go his way, and I'm very happy for him. Now, I've repaid my debt to him. We're even, and you and Esme owe me nothing. Jax and I will be fine again, eventually. I hope you all have a happy life," I told him.

I didn't wait for an answer. I grabbed my suitcase and walked out of the room. I prayed he wouldn't follow me because I was certain I wouldn't be able to remain strong if he said one more thing to me. I needed to be away from them because of the damn vacillating. I knew I couldn't take the hurt any longer and I was worried that if I was around them too much, I'd block it out and take them all back without a second thought. I couldn't do that to me, and most importantly, I couldn't do that to Jax.

##

"Jacqueline Renee, get down here now," I called. We were going to be late, and I was ready to scream. She was going to pre-school, and I was going with Peter O'Rourke to bid a potential job. The Platte house was finished, and Peter liked our vision for it so much that he was recommending Alice and me to a client of his for another remodel. It was an important development for our little fledgling endeavor and I was quite happy about it. It was a direction I never thought my life would go, but I enjoyed what I was doing more than I'd ever enjoyed anything else besides raising my daughter, and I was embracing the new changes with open arms.

It was Halloween, and I'd been back from Italy for nearly three weeks. I'd received voicemail messages from Edward regarding the progress he was making with being able to bring Chelsea home with him, but I never returned them. The phrase "too little, too late" rang through my head every time I heard a message on my cell.

We were getting over him slowly, or at least I felt like Jax was, and I wasn't going to look back. I didn't return the calls, but I was truly happy for him. I wished him the very best in his life, but I was having a hard time forgiving him though I knew I needed to because I couldn't move on if I didn't.

Maybe he was sent to alert me to the possibility that I was going to be able to move on from Jacob. Maybe that was all he was for me. I wished it not to be so, but maybe that was it. I had to accept the possibility anyway.

"Momma, when can we Trick-or-Treat?" Jax asked. We had bought her costume in Port Angeles after we visited Billy the weekend before, and she wanted to sleep in the damn thing every night. I remembered being so excited about Halloween when I was a kid, and I couldn't fault her at all.

"Tonight just before dark. We'll go to Gramma Ne's and then to Rose's, and we'll go to the Jensons. It'll be fun, I promise, but we need to go. I've got a meeting," I answered. I helped her into her coat, and we were off.

The day was long. Peter had a few appointments besides the one he talked to me about, but if any of the jobs panned out, Alice and I would be making a lot of money. Peter was an intelligent businessman, aside from being damn good looking, and he had given me pointers on bidding jobs that I appreciated, having never really been in that position before.

When I pulled up in front of my house at 5:00 PM that evening, I was surprised to see Jax on the porch with Esme, and I wasn't exactly happy about it. I walked up and tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "Esme, I see you've come home. What are you doing here?" I asked. I noticed Jax wasn't in the costume we'd bought. The one she was wearing was much more elaborate and looked much more expensive than the Jasmine knock-off she'd settled on. The costume she was wearing was a fairy costume and she looked adorable…but I was pissed about it.

"Jax, why don't you go inside and see if Alice is ready?" Esme asked. Oh yes, I would have a conversation with Miss Brandon if she was at my house and involved in the unexpected appearance of Esme Cullen. Alice had left Peter and me after the first meeting, citing that she had other appointments that afternoon. I didn't like the ambush that she'd apparently had a hand in planning in the least.

Once Jax was inside, Esme patted the bench next to her. "Sit, honey. We need to talk," she instructed. I didn't want to do either, but I did without much hesitation on my part. The woman could sell popcorn at an execution she was so damn persuasive.

"Esme, I appreciate that you brought her a costume, but that really doesn't change anything," I began. I wasn't going to fall under the Cullen spell again. Well, I was going to try my damnedest not to.

"I know that, dear, but I didn't buy it. Edward had it made for her. Look, we're back from Italy and Chelsea was anxious to meet Jax. Edward has done nothing but talk about her, and I promise you he's done nothing but agonize over how he left you two. We all know we made mistakes when it came to you and Jax, but we were possessed. I won't ever excuse us, I'll just ask you to forgive us. He loves you so much, you know. He knows he should have called and talked to you about what he was doing, and I can't explain why he didn't, but I'd almost bet he couldn't explain it either. If Jax was gone and you had an inkling of where she might be, what would you do?" she asked. That was so un-fucking-fair it wasn't even funny.

"I'd go find her, but I wouldn't have left Edward without a word. I'd have told him," I answered honestly.

"What if you thought she was dead and you found out that, for six-and-a-half years, someone else had been raising her and left you with the belief that she was dead? Do you think you'd be able to reason enough to call people and let them know what was going on? He didn't even tell _us_ he was leaving. We had to track him down through a private investigator. He was all over Europe following leads to find her. That doesn't excuse Carlisle and me, but Bella I beg you, please try to see it from his side. He loves you very much and he made a mistake. Who amongst us hasn't made one at some point in time? Please, please, search your heart and try to find it in there to give him another chance. I can't bear to watch him suffer any longer," Esme begged. I couldn't help the tears, even though I'd promised myself I'd never cry over him again. There I sat on the bench on my front porch crying like a baby.

"Bells, think about it. Everyone deserves a second chance. I've heard you say it more than once. If you can only be friends with him, then fine, but really think about what he went through," Jacob told me as he sat on the porch swing that my parents had given me for my birthday. I couldn't answer because I knew Esme would think I was nuts, but he was right. Everyone deserved a second chance.

"Where is he?" I asked as I dug a tissue out of my purse to dry my eyes.

"Honey, he and Chelsea are inside. He was praying you'd give him some time to try to explain, and he really wants you to meet his daughter. Jax already met her, and they are precious together. Please don't get mad about it. It was completely the wrong thing for us to do, just showing up unannounced, and professionally speaking, I'd take myself up before the review board if I'd suggested it to a patient, but I'm being a mother and grandmother here to my_ two _granddaughters who I felt needed to meet. Now, let's go inside because the girls are very eager to go trick-or-treating. Chelsea's never done it before, and she's very anxious," Esme explained.

I took a deep breath and when I walked inside, I could hear Jax and another girl chattering. "But Barbie drives," I heard Jax. I heard two ringing laughs. One was Edward's and the other was one I didn't recognize, but I assumed it was his daughter's. She wasn't at the hearings in Italy and I hadn't met her so I was nervous, but she was Edward's daughter and I still loved him whether I wanted to admit it or not.

I walked into the room and saw the most adorable little girl sitting on the floor with fairy wings on her back that matched the one's on Jax. I stood off to the corner and watched them for a moment. Edward was sitting on the couch watching the two of them, and he looked so happy that I couldn't stop the tears.

"Do the mothers drive here in America?" I heard Chelsea ask in a thick accent. Her grasp of English was incredible, but the Italian accent was still quite evident.

"In Jax's world they do. She's used to her mom driving her around, so that's probably why Barbie drives all the time. My car is only a two seater, so we used Bella's car most of the time and she always drove. That's probably why Jax believes that moms drive," I heard Edward answer. I heard Chelsea laugh, and then I couldn't hold myself back any longer.

"Hello?" I asked as I walked into the room and put down my purse and tote, having dried my eyes. I wasn't ready to appear as vulnerable as I really was. My guard was up, and I hoped it would remain in place. I was pretty certain it was a hopeless endeavor on my part.

I saw all eyes turn to me, including Alice's which looked very guilty, and then I saw the smile that melted my heart on Edward's face. "Bella, you're home. I'd like you to meet my daughter," he announced as he stood and pulled the girl from the floor. I could see he was proud of her, and when I looked into her face for the first time, I could see the stunning beauty that her mother was based on the photos I'd seen of her, coupled with his green eyes. It was amazing.

"Chelsea, this is Bella, Jax's mom. Bella, this is my daughter, Chelsea," Edward introduced. The girl ran toward me and hugged me around the waist which left me bewildered. I looked at him wondering why and saw him wipe a tear from his eye.

"You found me. You're the one who told my father where I was. Thank you," she offered. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her and hug her back. It was completely unfair that Edward used her to get back in my good graces, but I couldn't help myself. She was absolutely adorable.

"Sweetheart, I'm just glad we found you. Now, how are you adjusting to being in America?" I asked as I pulled her with me to the couch to sit down and talk.

"It's all very odd. I have a new family, and I have my father, but I'm okay. I've been excited to meet you and Jacqueline. Father talks about you two all the time," she answered. Again, I wanted to smack him. When I looked at him, I could see how happy he was, and my heart couldn't stop pounding out of my chest.

"We're so glad your father found you. Now, I guess I should go change and we can go out in the neighborhood for the two of you to Trick-or-Treat," I responded with the only answer I had to give. I needed to talk to him about what had happened after I left Italy, but I was very happy he'd won his custody battle, though from what I could understand from the interpreter in the courtroom, it was more red-tape than battle.

Didi had no leg to stand on with regard to lying to Edward about the fact that Chelsea was still alive, and after Finn fled the country, she didn't put up much of a fight to keep the little girl. Finn had the money and he took it with him. That seemed to be her motivation all along, and I wanted to get the whole story from Edward but there would be time for that later. We were going Trick-or-Treating, and there was no time to waste on talking.

"Um, Bella, can you wait a minute. Chelsea, sweetheart, will you take Jax upstairs so she can use the restroom before we go?" Edward asked his daughter.

"Sure, Father. Come on Jax. Let's go potty," Chelsea directed. Of course, my daughter was mesmerized by her and followed her without question…the little traitor. The young girl seemed extremely mature for her age, in my opinion, and she seemed very formal. I assumed it was the way in which Didi had brought her up rather than her feeling uncomfortable with her new life.

When they were out of earshot, I looked at him for any explanation I could get from him. "I'm sorry about the ambush, but I had to use the only thing I had in my arsenal which was my daughter. Not very noble, but apparently, quite effective. I have a lot to make up to you and Jax, and I'll work hard every day to do so because I still love you with all my heart. Please, please, tell me you'll give me a chance," he begged as he took my hand. Hell, I didn't have any fight in me.

"Please tell me you still love me," he pleaded again. I couldn't lie to him anymore than I could fly.

"Yes, I still love you, and Jax still adores you, but you can't come in and out of our lives. You either stay, or you go away and let us heal. I've been seeing someone new, and he hasn't met Jax yet because after you, I can't bring another man around her so you have to decide," I responded quietly.

It wasn't a lie. Peter and I were together on a regular basis, and I _could_ have feelings for him if I'd let myself. The problem was that I was still in love with Edward Cullen. That was what held me back. I loved him and wasn't ready to let go until he said he was done, all the while hating myself for my weakness. I didn't want to contemplate that scenario, so I waited for his response. It was excruciating.

"God, is it too late? Have you moved on?" he asked looking completely crushed. I really hadn't moved on, but I wasn't going to stand still either. We both had some decisions to make.

"I'm not technically dating him, but I spend time with him. He's the architect who redid the Platte house. Have you been out there yet?" I asked, clearly stalling for time and looking for my backbone so as not to be sucked in without a fight.

"_Is. It. Too. Late_?" he annunciated. As much as I'd liked to have told him yes, I couldn't. I had to be honest with him.

"I don't know if it is or not, Edward. We need to talk before any decisions are made, but I'm not serious about Peter. That's not to say that I _couldn't_ be at some point in time because he treats me very well, and _he calls me_, but I haven't allowed feelings to develop for him because I needed to feel some kind of closure about us," I answered honestly.

I saw him wince at my reference to Peter calling me, and I immediately felt guilty about the statement, but it was true. Peter called me on a regular basis and was very forthcoming about what was going on in his life, and the calls had picked up since the remodel was finished at the Platte house. I'd had lunch with him several times, and we'd had dinner once. He'd asked for more dates, but I was dragging my heels because I was waiting to find out what was going to happen with Edward. That wasn't fair to any of the three of us and I knew it.

"Well, I've been able to elbow out the competition before, so I accept the challenge. I'd like to have the afternoon tomorrow to explain to you what happened, and then, once we clear the air, we can decide where we stand. Mom wants Jax to come over to play with Chelsea, so drop her off there and meet me at my house at 10:00 AM," he instructed.

"That's not going to work for _me_. I have an appointment in the morning at 9:00 AM to bid a job. I should be done by noon, and I can meet you there at noon. I'll take Jax to my parents' house because I don't need her getting too attached to the Cullens again if things aren't going to work out with us. Now, I'm going to go change, and then we'll take the girls around the neighborhood for a while," I responded.

Without waiting for any acknowledgment of my terms, I quickly left the room and hit the stairs to go do as I'd told him. As I walked down the hallway toward my bedroom, I heard Jax and Chelsea talking.

"Your mother is really pretty. Where's your father?" I heard Chelsea ask Jax. I was about to interrupt them when I heard Jax answer, "He's in heaven. I don't knowed him, but he watches out for me. Where's your mommy?"

"She's in heaven too. Maybe they know each other," Chelsea responded. I looked into the room and saw the two of them playing with Barbies and they appeared to be okay.

I didn't say anything to them; I just walked to my room and closed the door softly. It hit me that the two of them were missing very significant people in their lives. For a fleeting moment, I wondered if there was any way in hell that two damaged adults could somehow cobble together a decent life for two very deserving little girls. It was a lot to ask, but just maybe we could sometime down the road. It remained to be seen.

##

"Why are we at the hospital?" Jax whined. We'd been collecting candy for two hours, and the girls were antsy to dig in, but Edward made them promise not to have anything until it was x-rayed. I could understand his logic, though I doubted that any of the residents of our fair city of Forks would hide razorblades in candied apples, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

My parents had been very sweet when they met Chelsea, but I could see my dad giving Edward the stink eye because of his just taking off without a word. I was pretty sure he was visually measuring him for a casket in the event he had to shoot him, but he was, at least, cordial to Edward's daughter.

My mom, of course, gushed over the little girl and took an entire disposable camera full of photos of her and Jax, and I was actually looking forward to getting them developed. The costumes were adorable, and I knew I wanted to frame one of the photos to add to the collection on my mantle.

"We're here to get the candy x-rayed so you two can get all hopped up on sugar. Also, you can Trick-or-Treat at the nurses' stations while I see if I still have a job," Edward announced. I looked at him and he smiled.

"Simmons is on tonight. He wants to see me, pronto. Do you mind taking them to the desk in ER and getting the candy x-rayed? I'll meet you guys back there in an hour?" he asked. I nodded in agreement, and we all climbed out of my CRV. Edward still had the two-seater and Jax still needed a booster seat, so my car was the better choice.

The four of us made our way into the ER, and it was bustling as usual. I remembered the year before, and I was very glad that I no longer worked at the hospital. Halloween, especially Halloween on a Friday night, was absolutely brutal.

Edward kissed my cheek, then Jax and Chelsea's, and he went to find Dr. Simmons. Caius Simmons was a prick at the front of the line of pricks who worked at the hospital, but he was the head of the residency program, so Edward's fate rested in his sweaty little hands. I wished him luck and took the girls to the admitting desk in the ER.

Unfortunately, Jessica Stanley was working that night, and I groaned in displeasure at the sight of her. I knew she'd have something nasty to say, and I just hoped she had enough sense not to say it in front of the two young girls who were with me.

"Well, well, look who it is. Bella Black. Sorry to hear about Cullen dumping you. It was bound to happen, you know, but it's pretty incredible he left the country to get away from you. He didn't even do _that_ with Jane," Jessica announced. I looked down to my left and saw Chelsea looking at her with wide eyes. Not exactly how I wanted to her to hear someone speak of her father.

"Jessica, that was completely unprofessional and inappropriate. This is Edward's daughter, Chelsea. He went to Europe to find her, as you well know if you saw the news, so I'd appreciate it if you'd shut your pie hole and tell me where we take the candy to get it x-rayed," I snapped. Just then, Nancy walked up to the desk with a sweet smile on her face.

She leaned over the counter and held a bowl of candy out for the girls. "Hi girls. I'm Nancy. Don't mind Nurse Stanley…she's dressed as a bitter, jealous spinster this year. Help yourselves. Bella, it's good to see you. They're doing all of the x-rays up in Peds because they're having a party up there. When I left, there was a magician who was just showing up to do magic tricks. Why don't you three go up there? I saw Dr. Cullen over in Simmons' office, so I'll send him a page that he can find you there. Now, the best candy is on four, five, and seven. Don't waste your time with three or six. It's all sugar free," Nancy instructed as she smiled at us.

"Thanks, Nancy. Come on girls, let's go," I announced. I could hear Nancy hissing at Jessica just as we arrived at the elevators, and I was very happy that I'd become friends with her while I was working there. She was a gem.

We stopped on the floors Nancy had told us, and when we reached seven, which was the Peds floor, I was happy to see that everyone was in costume and there was music playing. A lot of the patients were even in costume, and it actually appeared to be a normal Halloween party, save some of the machines that accompanied the sickest little patients.

After we stopped at the desk and dropped off our bags of candy, Lauren Mallory, who was dressed as a black cat, directed us to the playroom down the hallway where the party was taking place. When we walked in, I saw Jasper dressed as a clown over in the corner making balloon animals. When he saw us, he smiled broadly and waved.

"Jax, there's Dr. Jazz. Should we go say hi?" I asked. I wasn't sure about introducing Chelsea as Edward's daughter, but Edward had to know that I'd have to offer some explanation for her to the people who knew me.

"Dr. Jazz! Come on," Jax announced, grabbing Chelsea's hand and dragging her over to Jasper, elbowing her way through the crowd just as I expected her to do. She wasn't a wallflower by any stretch of the imagination, that one.

I walked over and stood in the back and saw Jax walk up to him and tug on the over-sized yellow coat he was wearing. "Who are these two beautiful fairies who've flown into our party?" he asked as he stooped down and kissed my daughter on the cheek.

"It's me. Jaxie," she announced. I'd learned that Jasper and Alice called her Jaxie, and she loved the nickname. Apparently, when I was in Italy with Edward, Jasper and Jax got to be good friends because Alice was working a lot. He took her to the park and took her for ice cream several times, and she thought Jasper Whitlock hung the stars. She also thought Edward Cullen hung the moon. I guessed that Emmett McCarty, her third godfather of sorts, must have hung the sun. She had the God Squad wrapped quite tightly around her little fat finger.

"Why, yes it is! _Who_ is your friend?" Jasper asked. I started to lean in to introduce them, but my daughter took control of the situation. I should have known.

"This is my friend, Chelsea. She's Redward's baby," Jax introduced. Jasper looked at me for confirmation, and I couldn't help but laugh. I walked further into the mix of the little ones who were waiting for Jasper to make them a balloon animal.

"I had no idea that you went to Clown College. I didn't realize you could get a medical license with a degree in balloon making," I teased. Jasper stood up and laughed.

"One of the things I learned on my Peds rotation is that a good pediatrician has a gimmick. Wallace, over there, has magic. I can make poodles or butterflies or light sabers out of balloons," Jasper responded. I laughed again.

He spoke to the girls again and then went to work on what I assumed were to be fairy crowns as I'd heard Jax ask from him. He truly was an incredible guy. Alice was very lucky to have him.

"So, where's Dr. Se…Cullen?" Jasper asked as he twisted a white and green balloon together, fashioning a crown for Jax first.

"Simmons probably has him crawling across broken glass about now. He was ordered there pronto. I've got my fingers crossed for him that he gets to keep his slot," I responded, trying to remain vague enough so as not to worry Chelsea.

"He'll be fine. He'll get some awful shifts for a while, but I know that Simmons actually likes him. So, how are you doing with all of this?" Jasper asked as he glanced at Chelsea who seemed to be mesmerized by the way he was twisting the white and pink balloons to make her a crown.

"I'm not exactly sure about anything. It's very new," I answered. He winked at me and plopped the crown on Chelsea's head. Her beaming smile seemed to light up the room.

Thirty-minutes later, Edward strolled in looking very happy. We were sitting on the floor watching Dr. Wallace pulling quarters from behind various children's ears, and everyone appeared to be captivated. I knew how the trick worked, but his hand never went out of sight, and he'd performed the trick on six children in rapid fire succession. He apparently took his magic seriously.

"So? You still in?" I whispered as Edward sat down on the floor next to me.

"One-hundred percent. Wait, are you asking about my job? Yeah, I'm fine. My probation has been extended, and starting Tuesday, I'm on for seventy-two hour shifts for the next month. I have to sign Chelsea up for school on Monday, and I'm going to have to figure out about a nanny or something, but I'll take care of it. So, are you girls about ready to go? It's nearly eight," he responded.

I thought about what he'd said and imagined that he was in for a long road to figuring out how to take care of his daughter. It was all new to him, and as good as his instincts were, Chelsea was an eight-year old girl and Esme worked at the hospital full-time. When Edward moved into his house, it would be a lot more difficult for him to depend on his mother to help. He was certainly going to be in need of help.

"Jax, Chelsea, we should go. It's nearly bedtime," I whispered. Thankfully, Chelsea got up without question and took Jax by the hand which kept her from pitching a fit, thank the Lord.

As we drove back to my house for Edward to pick up his car and go back to his parents' house, I had a lot of things whirling around in my head. Edward and I needed to have an intense conversation, but if it went well, I could see some changes in our future that could benefit us all in many ways. I prayed it worked out for all of us.

##

"Mrs. Fletcher, thank you for giving us the opportunity to put forth our proposal for your remodel. We look forward to hearing from you," Peter closed. We were bidding the remodel of a lodge-style house off the county road, and Mrs. Fletcher was the head of the Forks Historical Society. She wanted the house restored to its original glory when it was actually an old hunting lodge back in the forties and fifties, and Peter had brought us on to do the design work. He told me that because of my ties to the Quileute Tribe, I brought a unique perspective to the job. The photos of the lodge when it was successful showed many Native American features that Billy identified as old Quileute designs.

I was able to speak with members of the Tribe who had expertise in weaving and woodworking, and they were able to show me some designs that would fit into the atmosphere that Mrs. Fletcher was trying to create quite nicely. The woman was apparently bowled over by our ideas, and it looked very promising for us.

After we were in the car, safely away from Mrs. Fletcher's ears, we both squealed a full-on happy squeal. I wasn't surprised it came from me, but I was shocked it came from the 6'3" mountain of a man who was with me. Nothing about Peter O'Rourke hinted at his ability to squeal like a girl.

"I think we're going to be very busy next spring. Now, we should go celebrate. The Hampton job came through this morning, and they want both of us. They want to begin after the first of the year, so we need to get together with them again before Christmas to firm up their vision so we can have the holidays to fine-tune the plans. I'd say that you and I should go to Mexico for New Year's to study the architecture and for you to shop for accessories. We can take your daughter. My cousin has a timeshare down there. Two bedrooms. I think we could have a lot of fun," Peter suggested. That revelation brought a jolt to me.

"Um, Peter, I need to tell you something. I'm supposed to meet Dr. Cullen at the Platte house to show him around. He's back from Italy, and we're, um…" I began before he interrupted.

"Trying to figure out where you stand? Yeah, Alice explained it all to me while you were gone to Italy. She also alluded to the fact that he broke your heart. Listen, Bella, I'm not _that_ guy. I think, in all fairness, you should give me a shot as well. Also, I think it's a good idea for me to go with you to show him around. After all, he'll be paying for our trip to Mexico and I need to size up the opposition," Peter remarked.

Oh, he and Edward meeting wouldn't be good, especially in light of what he'd just asked of me. I was pretty sure that the good doctor would lose his shit if I told him what the dashing architect had in mind. I wasn't really prepared for an all-out pissing contest that afternoon. "I think that's a bad idea. Edward and I have a lot of things to deal with, and I'm not exactly sure what to do about you," I answered.

Apparently, my statement gave him some type of hope, and that wasn't what I wanted to do at all. "You let me worry about Cullen. Fasten your seatbelt," he instructed as he started his Jaguar without another word. I was dreading it all completely.

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_**E/N: So? I'm certain you've got things to say…throw… I've got on my Kevlar, and I'm ready : )**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday. Thank you for your support…from those of you who've stuck around. I know I lost readers because they told me, but if you're still with me, thank you.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**With nerves….here's your next installment….**_

_**\\\**_

12.

When we pulled up the driveway of the Platte house, I noticed Edward's car in front of the house and saw him sitting on the front porch in one of the fan-backed wicker chairs that I'd purchased for him. They actually lent an air of a southern plantation to the place, and I loved the aesthetic.

Alice wanted to go with more rustic furniture for the front porch, but I was able to persuade her that it would be more welcoming on the back patio due to the view of the mountains. After I described a romantic evening with wine and the fire pit watching a sunset from the Adirondack chairs, she was on board.

I saw Edward rise from the chair, and I could see the look of disdain on his face as Peter parked the car next to Edward's Mercedes SLS AMG…I'd asked Alice what it was, and she'd done the research. The damn thing cost over $200,000. No wonder he always frowned when he climbed into my little CRV.

Peter quickly climbed out and glided around the car, opening my door for me before Edward was off the porch. I wasn't looking forward to the tour with the two of them in the least. I took a deep breath as I climbed out of the car, having batted Peter's hand away as he'd offered it, and I braced myself for the clash of the jealous suitors. It wasn't going to be pretty by anyone's estimation.

"Love, I'd have picked you up. Is something wrong with your car?" Edward asked as he pulled me into his body for a hug. God, it was a pathetic show of machismo, but it was exactly what I expected.

I heard Peter clear his throat, and I pulled…forcefully…away from Edward. "Edward Cullen, this is Peter O'Rourke, your architect. Peter, this is Dr. Edward Cullen. Now, gentlemen, let's go inside and look around," I instructed as I made my way to the front porch without waiting for them. I pulled the keys from my purse and opened the door, waiting for their staring contest on the sidewalk to end.

After the stalemate was acknowledged, the two of them followed me inside. "Okay, knowing you the way I do and seeing the photos from when your grandmother lived here, I went with a more traditional motif. The walls are neutral in color because I thought it was more you than the gold it was originally painted, but I tried to bring in some of the warm elements that your grandmother had in the décor," I explained as I led him through the grand foyer.

The tile in the foyer was black and white marble, and there was a chandelier in the center of the room over a round cherry wood table. To the left was the formal living room in different shades of green and chocolate brown. To the right, was the dining room with the widened doorway which led to the gourmet kitchen. The family room and kitchen area were opened up into a great room, and it was decorated in shades of taupe and coffee. I was quite proud of it, but it remained to be seen whether he liked it or not.

"This is spectacular," Edward commented as he grabbed my hand while we made our way around the kitchen. _Aaannnd…the cocky strutting had begun._

"The laundry room was moved from the basement. It's through there, now. The other room is a cook's quarters, should you ever find yourself in need of such a space. Now, let's continue," I remarked as I pointed out various aspects of the room. He seemed to like the large French doors that led to the patio, which made me happy, and then the three of us made our way upstairs.

I was pleased with the staircase, and Edward seemed to notice it right away. "This is beautiful. I remember sliding down this banister as a young boy. Thank you for keeping this intact, love. It seems you _do_ know me as well as I know myself," he commented. I could hear Peter chuckle behind us.

We made our way around the bedrooms upstairs. Peter explained the logic behind absorbing the nursery in the primary master suite, and Edward seemed to like the larger master bath. We continued exploring the upstairs, and when I got to a bedroom that I thought would be perfect for Chelsea, I offered, "Okay, when we designed this room, Alice and I had no idea that your daughter would be here with you, but I think this room would be perfect for her. I'd be happy to work with Chelsea and let her pick out colors and fabrics. It could be my welcome home gift to her," I offered.

The room was two doors down from the bedroom that would be Edward's, and the view of the mountains was spectacular in my opinion. It had a door that opened to the second floor balcony, and I thought a small table for her with some flower boxes would make the space feel more like a terrace in Italy.

"I think that sounds perfect. Well, you two have certainly earned your money. I absolutely love it all, and with the exception of perhaps personalizing this room for Chelsea, I wouldn't change a thing. I truly appreciate everything you've done," Edward offered. I was quite proud of it, and I was very happy that it pleased him.

"Glad you like it. Now, Bella and I are long overdue for a celebratory luncheon, so I'll send you my bill for the final third of my fee. Bella and Alice will forward theirs' soon, I'm sure," Peter commented. I could see the anger on Edward's face, and I knew I had to stop the crazy train before its fires got stoked any further.

Unfortunately, before I could open my mouth, Edward opened his. "Actually, Bella and I are having lunch to discuss some _personal _issues. I believe my request trumps yours, O'Rourke, because when I spoke with her last night, she mentioned nothing about a luncheon with you. Feel free to leave anytime. I'll take Bella home to pick up her car and _we'll_ pick Jax up from Charlie and Renee's house this evening. Thank you for your hard work. I'll be happy to give you a recommendation anytime you need one," Edward dismissed.

I heard Peter chuckle next to me and then he smiled. "Point goes to you, Cullen. Bella, walk me out," he announced. I moved toward the door, and when I heard Edward walking behind us, I turned around and shot him a look that I hoped would stun him. Apparently, it did because he stopped dead in his tracks.

When Peter and I reached the front door, I felt that I needed to apologize to him. "I'm sorry for all of this, but I do need to clear up some things with him. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I informed him.

"Look, I know the guy still has feelings for you, but I'd never leave you like he did, Bella. Think about Mexico. I think your daughter and I would get along well, and I'm just asking for a chance to get to know her. I'm not the bad guy, you know," he responded. He kissed my cheek and left without further comment. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for "The Interrogation" that I was certain was coming my way.

When I walked into the great room where he was sitting on the chocolate brown/taupe striped microfiber couch, I could tell I wasn't going to be disappointed. "So, Mexico? You two eloping?" he snapped. I wasn't really in the mood for it, but he was just getting started, so I sunk down into the tan leather Queen Anne near the fireplace and waited. He wanted to pitch a fit…I was ready for him.

"No, not eloping. It would be a working vacation for a job that we're going to start after the first of the year. The client wants a Mexican theme and the accessories are very important to her, so it makes sense for me to go to Mexico. He wants to go to get a feel for the architecture, and I need to look for tile. His family has a timeshare down there so he invited us. I haven's said yes or no," I answered.

"_WHAT? YOU'RE CONSIDERING THIS_?" he shouted. It reverberated off the walls in the house, and I could swear I heard it echo upstairs.

"Slow your roll, Cullen. You need to remember that _you_ left _me_…without a fucking word, by the way. I understand why, but the fact that you seemed to lose the dexterity in your fingers to dial a mother fucking phone isn't something I've forgotten. Before you get all self-righteous on me, you need to remember the facts, _friend_," I snapped back. He wasn't going to make me feel guilty about anything. I'd done nothing wrong.

I saw him sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose, which I'd come to know as his signature "I'm getting nowhere" move. I was very fluent in Cullen speak...both verbal and non-verbal.

"I know that, Bella. I kick my own ass every day for that shit. Look, here's what happened. You showed me that article, and I completely lost it. The fact that my daughter might be alive somewhere and I'd been lied to about it was more than I could handle. I went home and pulled up the article again, and I contacted a friend of mine who spoke French. He translated it for me, and I found out that Chelsea was in boarding school in Switzerland. That's where I started.

"When I got there, the term was already out, but Didi had to give them an address to contact her over the summer, and after I convinced them that I was Chelsea's father and I'd sue them for every fucking penny they had, they gave me the last address they had for Didi. It was in France…Nice. I contacted someone who I remembered meeting when Gianna and I were together who knew Didi. He told me that he'd seen her a week earlier at a restaurant near the address I had for her, so I went to France, but she was already gone by the time I arrived. From there, I was sent on a fucking goose chase to Germany, and when I found someone there who knew Finn, they told me he was supposed to meet Didi in Rome. That's how I ended up there. The three of them were about to leave for safari in Africa the next week so I got there just in time," he began. His story fit with what Esme told me, so I didn't open my mouth. I merely nodded that I was listening, and he continued.

"I still had some contacts with the American Consulate in Rome, and they got me in touch with some people at Interpol. I was able to get the accident report from when Gianna was killed, and I found out that Gianna wasn't on her way _to_ her parents' place in the country. She was on her way _back to Rome_ to get on a plane to go for a modeling job in Milan. Didi and Marcus had Chelsea at their house, and when Gianna was killed, they hid Chelsea and claimed she was in the car with Gianna. They knew I'd take her, and they didn't want to give her up because they'd lost Gianna. Anyway, when Marcus took the death so hard and lost all of his money, Didi hunted up Finn and they struck a deal. He would take care of Didi and Chelsea in exchange for adopting Chelsea. Didi lied to the authorities and the adoption went through uncontested. The two of them raised my daughter until she was old enough to go to school, and then they sent her to Switzerland to boarding school.

"Long story short, Didi is in a lot of trouble in Italy for more charges than I can count. Finn took off again, likely for Venezuela, and I was able to prove that Chelsea was my daughter and get her back here with me. I'm sorry that I didn't call you or keep you up-to-date with what was going on, but I could only concentrate on getting my daughter back. I know it was horrible and it was selfish, and I'm very sorry about that. If I could go back and think things through, trust me, I'd have handled it differently.

"After I found out for sure that Gianna was killed in the accident, I finally had to deal with her death. Didi _did_ eventually tell me where she was buried, and I had a scene very much like the one I walked up on when you were at Jacob's graveside. I wish I'd have been smart enough to call you and have you with me to help me get through it, but I'm not smart. I finally got to say good-bye to her, and after a lot of introspection, I felt that I could heal.

"You gave me the example that I used every day when I was over there, Bella. I know that Jacob was the love of your life, but you were able to work through the pain, and I knew that I could too because I needed to be better for you and Jax.

"Gianna is gone, and she's never coming back. I have a gift I never thought I'd have, and it's the fact that my daughter is alive and well. I have more to be thankful for than I ever imagined, and after I figured that out, I couldn't get back here fast enough to you and Jax. I love you both, and I'm just asking you to give me another chance. I believe what you and I have together is special, and I'd be a fool to ever stop pursuing you because I believe, with all of my heart, that you and Jax are meant to be with us. I know you've seen the girls together, and I know you see that they've bonded in a very short time. Please, please, give me another chance," he finished.

I felt the tears come unbidden, and I couldn't stop them. He was so damn sincere that I had to believe him. He had never lied to me, but he'd left, and I had to keep that in mind. I didn't foresee a situation that would take him away from us again, but what the hell did I know?

I also couldn't forget everything he'd done for me with regard to Billy, and how he was still obligated to Lifeflight for the air ambulance that took Billy to Seattle. I knew I needed to buy out that contract because with the shifts he was going to pull at the hospital, he didn't need any additional distractions to keep him from his daughter. They needed time together, and I had the money to make sure he'd have it.

"Give me the name of the person you dealt with at Lifeflight. I'm going to buy out the contract. I have enough money to do it, and with the jobs I have coming up, it won't make a dent in the money I'm going to be making, so I want to take that burden away from you," I announced.

"I already bought it out when I got back. Don't worry about it…it wasn't that big of a deal. So, are you really interested in O'Rourke, or are you just using him to torture me?" he asked cockily.

Ah, there was my arrogant Dr. Fuck-Em-All that I'd missed. With one statement, he let me know that he'd be all right. I could play with Dr. Fuck-Em-All…it was Edward Cullen, new father of an eight-year old daughter, who scared the shit out of me.

I couldn't help but laugh. Of course, Dr. Fuck-Em-All would be affronted by the prospect that I could be interested in anyone other than him. He didn't know that I was still irrevocably, unconditionally, and ultimately in love with him, but I didn't need to turn my hand just yet. Taunting him was going to be delicious fun for me.

"I'm not using Peter. We're business associates. I've developed a very lucrative business with his help, and I don't plan to give that up just because you're back . I've got to look out for my daughter and I only have so much money as a cushion. Since I quit my job at the hospital, I've found a more pleasant way to make money doing something I love. You're just going to have to adjust to that," I answered. That time, it was his turn to laugh.

"I see you've made some changes. I'm very proud of you for that. So, where does that leave us?" he asked. It was a heavy question that I wasn't yet prepared to answer.

"I believe I was promised lunch," I announced quite confidently. He smiled and walked outside to his car, returning with the familiar picnic basket. I walked over to the counter and pulled out a stool and sat down as he unloaded it.

"Well, if I remember correctly, you like turkey and cheddar on croissant. I have my ham and Swiss, and there are chips and pink lemonade. _Bon appetite!_" he announced as he handed me a sandwich. We ate in comfortable silence, and it was actually nice.

When I got home that night, Alice and Rosalie were sitting on my front porch. Alice and I hadn't hashed out the part she'd played in the whole Halloween night disaster, and I knew Rosalie was pissed off at Edward because she'd voiced her opinion regarding me going to Italy quite vehemently to me when I returned.

I'd called Mom, and she was going to drop Jax off later, so I knew we had a few minutes to hash things out. "Ladies," I greeted.

"Bella, I'm so, so sorry about what happened here yesterday. Look, Edward called me earlier and begged me to pick Jax up and bring her home so he could apologize to her for taking off like he did. I know that I stuck my nose in things when I suggested that you go to Italy in the first place, so I should have left things alone and told him no, but I just couldn't. I mean, I've known him for a while, and I've never heard him so emotional in my life. I know he's heartbroken by what happened, Bella. He was crying on the phone, and I just couldn't tell him no. Then, when he got here, he was on the floor on his knees hugging Jax and kissing her cheeks. He was so hysterical with how sorry he was for everything that had happened that Chelsea actually took his cell phone and called Esme, who was able to get him calmed down before you got home. That's why she was here in the first place.

"He explained to Jax how much he loves her and how sorry he was for not calling her while he was gone, and hell, you know Jax, she was just happy to have her Redward back. She made him promise that he was never going to leave again, and then she hugged him and climbed down from his lap and started playing Barbies with Chelsea. I'm really sorry for my part in it, and I hope you don't hate me. If you want me out, I'll go," Alice confessed rather rapidly.

I looked at Rosalie because I knew my skeptical neighbor had a lot to say. "Mrs. McCarty?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow. She looked like she was about to explode.

"I have one thing I'm going to say and then I'm out of it, and I'll support you on however you want to play this. Four words…_I...TOLD…YOU…SO,_" she annunciated. It was what I expected, actually. She'd warned me about getting hurt by him and I'd disregarded her words. Of course, none of us could have ever foreseen the reason he'd hurt me, but she had been right.

I stood there looking at the two of them, and none of us were without sin, so I decided to forgive Alice's butting in and maybe we could all just move on to a better place. "Alice, from this day forward, you are not to meddle in my personal life. I don't want you to move, and I suppose I can see your fucked-up logic for doing what you did, but from now on, stay out of my personal life. If you can't promise that, then you and I are done being friends and business partners," I demanded.

"May God strike me dead if I ever meddle in your business again," Alice vowed with her right hand in the air. I was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to keep her word because she seemed like a meddler, but I cared too much for her as a friend and partner to hold the grudge. After the day I'd had, I just didn't have it in me.

That night when I went to bed, I was thought about all of the information I'd learned that day and I came to a decision. I hoped Edward was on board with it because I was certain it would benefit us both. Only time would tell.

"No, Memmett, that's cheating. You have to do it this-a-way," Jax scolded. She and Emmett were playing Chutes and Ladders with Chelsea and Alice. Apparently, Emmett was as big a cheat as my daughter, and I could only laugh from the kitchen.

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving, and Edward had been working like a mad man. He'd accepted my idea of Chelsea staying with me when he was on duty because his mother and father were both busy, and I had to take Jax to pre-school every day which was just up the street from Forks Elementary where he'd enrolled Chelsea. We were friends again, but nothing more had transpired between us except for good-bye cheek kisses every now and then. Peter was ecstatic that I hadn't just taken him back and didn't fail to let me know. I'd told him that Edward and I were friends much in the same way _he_ and I were friends, and that news didn't make him quite as happy.

He, Alice, and I were busy working on design ideas for several upcoming jobs and even with my continued reminders that we were just friends he continued to ask me out. I kept it professional because I was in a state of limbo. I loved Edward Cullen, and I knew he loved me, but my heart was still healing from his disappearance so I wasn't able to move forward in the relationship. It was extremely frustrating to both, Peter and Edward, but I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"When's the boy wonder getting home? I'm starving?" Emmett called from the family room. Edward was finishing up a shift and we were all at Platte house. My parents were coming over for the party…a house warming for Edward and Chelsea…and I'd made lasagnas and salad. Rosalie was showing a house and was due to show up at any moment, and Jasper had gotten called into the hospital so we didn't know if he'd show or not.

"He gets off at four," I reminded as I buttered the garlic bread. Everyone had brought gifts for him and Chelsea, and my parents actually offered to help with babysitting Chelsea because my job was busy. Mom said that it wasn't a big deal to pick her up from school on the days I had to stay late, and when Edward took them up on it, I was happy because he was very protective of her. The fact that he trusted my parents with her was remarkable to me.

Chelsea had acclimated to life in Forks. She constantly amazed me with her maturity, but Edward chalked it up to going to boarding school, which pissed him off to the _nth_ degree, and he commented that he'd like to choke his grandfather for sending her there in the first place on more than one occasion.

Esme had speculated that Finn was intending to mold Chelsea into a copy of himself…cool, calm and ruthless…and he would have used her the way he tried to use Edward before he gave up…oh, and got indicted for tax fraud. That pissed Edward off to the point that he broke a vase at his mother's house, and the subject wasn't brought up again.

"Mr. McCarty, you have to slide down the chute when you land on that particular square," I heard Chelsea correct. Alice's ringing laugh told me that Emmett was trying to cheat again, and he wasn't going to get away with it because Chelsea Cullen was very astute. I couldn't help but smile.

"Watch him girls. He's a cheater," I called from the kitchen as I heard the doorbell. Jax jumped up and made a run for it before I could say anything. I heard my parents in the hallway, and I was happy they'd agreed to come to the party. I was actually anxious to show off what Alice and I had done there because my mother had made a comment that had pissed me off about the fact that she didn't realize that I had the mindset for interior design based on the way I dressed.

"Wow, this is beautiful. I had no idea," I heard my mother comment to my father. I wished I had some ipecac to put on her portion of lasagna because a night in the bathroom puking was just what I thought she needed for her comments.

I chose to take the high road, for the sake of the young ears in the room, and I made no remark. As I wrapped the bread in foil, I heard the front door open and I heard Edward call, "Where are my girls?" That had become his standard greeting when we were all together, and Chelsea and Jax raced to the door to find him. He always scooped both of them up and kissed them loudly on the cheeks. I could never help the smile that found its way on my face. He could charm anyone of the fairer sex, as I'd witnessed many times, and his daughter and my daughter weren't immune to his charms any more than any other woman.

He walked into the kitchen where I was making the Italian dressing for the salad and when I got a look at him, only three words came to mind…sexy fucking beast. His hair was messy. He was wearing a pair of very sexy jeans and a button down shirt, and his smile was like sunshine on a cloudy day. I wasn't immune to his charms either.

"Mrs. Black. You look very natural in my kitchen. I'm glad to be home to witness it firsthand," he announced as he set the girls down and pulled me into a hug. I had balsamic vinegar in one hand and olive oil in the other, and I was completely surprised by his actions because he hadn't done anything like that since he'd returned from Italy.

"Kiss her," I heard Chelsea call behind him. Then, of course, Jax got in on the act, and when Emmett and Alice heard it, it became a chant. Before I knew what was happening, his lips met mine, and I was lost in the land of Edward Cullen, yet again. I was a goner and I saw no way back. He had me in his hold, and there wasn't anything in me that wanted out. I was in trouble.

He ended the kiss and looked into my eyes. "We should do more of that, you know. Now, I'm going to shower and change, and I'll set the table," he remarked. I could feel the confidence rolling off him, and I was right there with him. He had me back whether I was ready to admit it or not, and I was once again ready to give him my damaged heart. If he broke it again, there wasn't enough duct tape and super glue in the world to fix it, I was certain.

I heard him go to the sound system and turn it on before he went upstairs, and I heard _Lifehouse_ singing over the speakers. It was a song I loved, "Hanging by a Moment," and I knew exactly what the significance of it was, damn him. The man was evil, and he knew just how to get to me. I should have grabbed my daughter and my keys and left at that moment, but I couldn't. I loved him too much, and it would probably come back to haunt me in the future, but I couldn't stop myself.

I finished the salad dressing and slipped upstairs when everyone was distracted as Jasper arrived. I went to Edward's bedroom and sat on the bed as I heard him in the shower. I chewed my nails, which was something I hadn't done for a long time, and I waited for him to come out.

When the shower was turned off, I steeled myself for the sight I knew I'd be met with …Edward Cullen in nothing but a towel was a magnificent sight to behold. When he walked out, he seemed unfazed to find me sitting on his bed. It was as if he expected it, the jackass.

"Something on your mind?" he asked as he went to his dresser and pulled open a drawer, retrieving a pair of boxers and dropping the towel from his waist. I got a gander at the bitable ass again, and I almost bit off my own tongue.

It was my turn to stun the doctor. "Um, I need you to figure out who can help with Chelsea while Jax and I are in Mexico over the holidays," I announced. I was tired of pussyfooting around the subject, and we needed to come to some sort of a decision with regard to where we were and where we were going. I really needed to know what the kiss in the kitchen meant before I let my heart get too far ahead of my head.

"Oh, _that_. Well, I'm still on probation, but I'd guess that you can find what you need for the job on the internet, and we can go to Mexico for spring break. By then, I'll be off probation, I fucking hope, and the four of us can rent a house down there," he answered as he walked into the large walk-in closet Alice had insisted on designing for him.

So, he wasn't taking the bait. I was guessing that he wanted me to make a declaration first, and I wanted him to make his intentions known clearly, so I pushed him again. "Um, I actually need to go there before then. I can't just buy textiles off the internet. I need to see the fabrics and the pottery. The job starts the second week of January, so…" I answered.

He came out of his closet in a sweater and jeans, and bare feet. Sexy bare feet, by the way. He walked over to the bed and sat down and then flopped back on it, pulling me with him. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You have a business partner, you know. I believe her name is Alice Brandon, and she has a boyfriend who isn't on probation at the hospital.

"Whitlock has a lot of vacation time stored up, and I'd guess that if you didn't trust her judgment, you'd have never partnered up with her. Alice and Jasper can go to Mexico with your friend Peter and pick out whatever shit some crazy client wants, and if you still want to go to Mexico, the four of us can go when Jax and Chelsea are on spring break.

"You're your own boss, and you can take off when you want," he answered as he pulled me on top of him. I hated that I was so fucking gutless to just be straight with him and I'd never been one to play games because I'd never had to, so I needed to pull up my big girl pants and just be straight with him. I took a deep breath and jumped in.

"Edward, what are we doing? Where are we in this?" I asked as I rested on top of him. I didn't want to move, but I needed answers, and if he didn't get rid of the glazed-over look on his face, I'd have to climb off of him and wait for the blood to begin recirculating to his brain from where it had pooled in his crotch.

I waited and when he didn't answer, I moved to get off of him but he seized my hips and held me in place. "Isabella Marie Swan Black…What are we doing? We're trying to get back to the place we were before I left you without a word to go to Europe. I'm trying to get you to trust that I'm never going to leave you again. I'm trying to get you to see that I love you with my whole, slightly damaged, heart. I'm trying to get you to understand that I can't live without you in my life. My daughter and I need you and your daughter with us. You two are the completion of our family, and I'm waiting for you to come to the realization that I came to the first time I saw you speak with my daughter. It was like a lightning bolt struck me, and I can see the four of us as a family. I'm waiting for you to see it, don't you see that?" he asked.

I was awe-struck by his words. I had nothing to say, so I leaned down and kissed him gently on his lips. When I felt his mouth on mine, I knew what I needed to say to him. He was an arrogant, selfish jackass, but he was what I wanted…what I needed. I broke the kiss and looked deeply into his eyes. He needed to understand how profound my next words were going to be for me. He looked nervous, and that's when I knew I had his attention.

Just then, the timer went off on the oven and signaled that dinner was ready. I moved to get off of him, but he held me in place. "Oh no. You're not running away from this discussion, Miss Passive-Aggressive. Surely someone down there has enough sense to go into the kitchen before the oven starts smoking. You were about to tell me something, and I need to fucking hear it. I know you love us, Bella. I hear it when you talk to my daughter, and I hear it when you talk to me on the phone when I'm at work. Fuck, I walk around this house and I see you in every goddamn room. You love me, goddammit, and you're not going anywhere until you admit it to me. I need to hear it more than I need to breathe or drink water or eat. Nothing in my life means anything if I don't have you in it, don't you see that?" he asked.

"Fine. I love you with everything inside of me. I love Chelsea, and I love you, and I don't know what I'd ever do without the two of you in my life. Jax thinks of you as the closest thing to a father that she'll ever have, but when you left her, fuck Edward, I can't see my little girl hurt like that again. If you're not going to stay around, you need to tell me so we can get away from you. Neither of us will survive that again," I told him as the tears rolled down my face.

He placed his hands on my cheeks and smiled. I saw tears roll down the side of his face toward his temples and I waited. "Bella, honey, I'm not going anywhere ever again. It tore my heart out to leave the two of you, and I was completely wrong the way I did it, but I promise you with everything in me that I'll never, ever do it again. You and Jax are my family…well, mine and Chelsea's. Those girls have bonded, whether you can see it or not, and if we left you, I'd be hurting my daughter as much as I'd be hurting you or Jax. I couldn't do that to any of us. I'm sorry for what I did, and I swear I'll never do it again. Please tell me you believe me. I love you, Bella," he whispered as he pulled me into him and kissed me. The kiss told me everything I needed to know. He loved us, and we were going to be okay. We'd be a family and we'd figure it out. He was mine, and I was his. One kiss never conveyed so much in the history of kisses, I was certain.

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_**E/N: Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Thank you for your support of this story. I truly appreciate it.**_

_**UPDATE: Color me stupid! So sorry about the snafu...should never try to multi-task! So sorry, and thanks for letting me know what a moron I was. You're all lovely and I apologize for the confusion. Let's try this again, shall we?**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

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13.

"Momma? Chelsea's crying," I heard Jax call from the room they shared.

It was Monday of the week of Thanksgiving, and Edward was working one of his marathon shifts. Carlisle and Esme were out of town for a convention of shrinks, and Chelsea was staying with me. She'd been lethargic all evening, pushing her dinner around her plate and not eating at all, and when she asked if it was okay to go to bed when Jax did at 8:00, I was worried because she usually stayed up for a bit with me until Jax was asleep.

I tossed my sketch pad aside and ran upstairs to find Chelsea crying in her bed. I'd offered to fix up a spare room for her, but she wanted to share a room with Jax. "Honey, what's wrong?" I asked seeing her face crumpled in pain.

"My stomach hurts, Bella. I feel like I could throw up," she answered. Before I could get the trash can, she did. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed towels to clean up the mess as she sobbed. I felt her forehead and she was burning up. Something was wrong with her, and I had no idea what it was. She was crying, and Jax was crying and I was crying.

I ran to my room and grabbed the phone, calling Edward. I looked at the clock for a second and hoped he was on a break. "Aaaaah, Cullen," I heard him yawn through the line. He was apparently asleep, but at least I got him.

"Honey, it's me. I'm bringing Chels in because she's sick. She's got a fever, and she's throwing up. We'll be there as soon as I can get someone here to take care of Jax," I announced.

"McCarty's off. Call him to come over. Let him check her out first. If she needs to come in, he can stay with Jax. I'll be there in ten minutes," he announced. I quickly hung up and called Emmett.

"This better be fucking important," I heard over the line. If the situation wasn't so dire, I'd have laughed.

"Em, it's me. Look, Chelsea's at my house, and she's complaining about her stomach. She threw up, and she's running a fever. Can you come over? Edward's on his way," I answered.

"Be there in a minute," he answered and hung up. I helped Chelsea out of bed and took her to the bathroom where she threw up again. I began running her a cool tub to try to help with the fever, but before I could get her in it, I heard the banging on the front door.

"Sweetie, get undressed and climb into the tub. I'll be right back," I told her. I ran downstairs, puke stained clothes be damned, and opened the door to find Emmett and Rosalie at the door.

"Come in. I just told her to climb into a cool tub. She just puked again," I informed.

I was barely out of the way before Emmett ran upstairs. I heard Chelsea shriek, and I was certain he'd busted in on her in the bathroom. "Honey, it's okay. Believe it or not, I'm really a doctor regardless of the fact that I cheat at board games. Now, tell me where it hurts," I heard him ask as I climbed the stairs with Rosalie hot on my trail.

"_Mom_," I heard called from the bathroom and my heart stopped. Well, it felt like it did. I walked to the door and found her in panties with a towel across her chest lying on the bathroom floor.

"What sweetie? Dr. McCarty is here to see what's wrong. I'm right here," I told her as I sat down on the floor and pulled her head into my lap, smoothing her hair back. She seemed to relax and allow Emmett to examine her. When he pushed against her belly, she cringed and he remarked, "Okay, little one, we're going to the hospital. Bella, get her something to put on and hurry. We need to go."

The urgency in his voice was evident, and I quickly placed her head on a towel and went into the bedroom to see Rosalie cleaning up the mess. I grabbed a pair of pajamas from her overnight bag and raced back to the bathroom.

I helped her dress, and then Emmett carried her downstairs just as Edward showed up. "What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Appendix, from what I can tell without an ultrasound," I heard. Emmett began spouting off a lot of medical stats that I didn't understand, and the two of them reached the conclusion that she needed to get to the hospital.

"Bella, honey, we're going now. Can you change and meet us there? Will Rose stay with Jax?" Edward asked. Emmett nodded without question, and they were gone.

I ran upstairs and went to Jax's room to find Rosalie curled up with her in bed, both of them fast asleep. I went to my room and changed, and then went to the kitchen and left a note informing Rose what was going on. I drove to the hospital, somehow, and I prayed the whole time. We couldn't lose her…we'd just gotten to know her. Hell, Edward just found her. It wasn't fair at all.

##

I arrived at the hospital and parked my car in Esme's spot. She was gone, and I dared anyone to tow it. I raced into the ER and found Edward pacing in the waiting room, hair as wild as ever. "They won't let me in there. They actually fucking threw me out. That's my goddamn kid in there, and Jessica Stanley made me leave," he snapped at me.

I settled him in a chair, and I went to the desk and grabbed the phone, calling first Esme and Carlisle, then my parents. For all intents and purposes, we were an extended family, and we'd all need each other, so I had no problem calling them in the middle of the night, more or less.

I cornered Jessica and asked, "How is she?"

She looked at me and was about to give me bullshit about the fact that I wasn't family, but then a look came across her face, and it softened. "Dr. Wallace is in there with Dr. Thorne. He's the best surgeon here, Bella. They'll figure it out. I put a call into Dr. Whitlock, but he hasn't called back yet. I'm sorry I threw Dr. Cullen out, but he was in the way and he was just crazed. Can I get you guys anything?" she asked. Who knew she could actually be kind?

"No, we're fine. Just let me know anything, please?" I begged. She nodded and I walked back to the waiting room to find Edward sitting where I'd pushed him down. He was expressionless, and I could completely understand why. He'd just gotten his daughter back, and he was contemplating what he'd do if he lost her. I wasn't going to allow him to get down that road very far.

I sat down next to him and took his hands in mine. "Listen to me. There are two very good doctors in there with her. You have to have faith, honey," I told him. He merely bent over and placed his head in my lap as he had months before, but this time, he cried. I raked my nails across his scalp and held him as I cried my own tears of worry.

Ten minutes later found my parents sitting with us. Ten minutes after that found Jasper and Alice blowing in. Alice sat down on the other side of Edward and rubbed his back as Jasper scrambled to the exam room where Chelsea was settled. Esme and Carlisle had called and informed us they were getting the next flight back from San Francisco. The only thing left to do was wait.

And, we all sat and waited. And, we waited. And, we waited. Finally, Jessica came into the waiting room. "Bella, she wants to see you and Edward. The doctors are in with her," she remarked. He was up like a shot, pulling me with him.

When we breached the curtain, I noticed how small she seemed in the big hospital bed. She was just a wisp of a girl, and she was precious to a lot of people who she didn't even know loved her. She deserved the best care in the world, and I'd spend every penny I had to ensure it if he didn't have it to spend. It was a vow I made to everyone I loved, and she was one I loved.

"Daddy, Bella, will I be okay?" she asked. I could tell she was on some pain meds, and I didn't hesitate to sit down on the side of her bed and take her hands as Edward spoke with her doctors.

"Sweetie, you'll be fine. How do you feel?" I asked as I stroked her hands.

"Funny," she answered with a small giggle.

"Chelsea, honey, you'll be much better in a little while. I'm going to let your daddy stay with you, but if you need me, just tell Jessica," I announced when Edward sat down on the other side of the bed.

"Where's Jax?" she asked. Bless her heart, she was worried about Jax.

"She's at home with Rosalie, but she'll be here tomorrow. I don't think I could keep her away if I tried. I love you, you know. I'll just be right down the hall," I told her as I kissed her forehead. After that, I squeezed Edward's hand and left the two of them alone.

Five minutes later, Edward and Dr. Thorne came to the waiting room. I jumped up and hurried over to where they stood to hear what they were discussing. "She's on antibiotics and pain meds. I know you're aware of the potential complications, so we don't need to go over those. We can remove it by laparoscopy. Minimally invasive and much quicker than any other way. I'll take good care of her, I promise," Thorne told him.

"Can I be in the OR?" Edward asked. I could see, by the look on Dr. Thorne's face, that there was no way _that_ was going to happen. Hell, I wasn't even sure what they were doing to her, but knowing Edward, if anything went wrong, he'd go berserk and that wouldn't be good for Chelsea.

"Cullen, you know you can't, but Whitlock will be in there. Anyway, I'll be out in no time. Have a little faith. Sit down in chairs with Black, and let her hold your hand. I'll see you in a few minutes," Dr. Thorne instructed. When he was gone, I pulled Edward over to the chairs and sat down holding his hand, just as Dr. Thorne had suggested, and we began the wait.

My parents made small talk with me about the jobs I had after the first of the year. I could see Edward was trying to pay attention, but every time someone came into the waiting room, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"What the fuck is taking so long?" Edward asked as he paced the room. It had been forty-minutes since Dr. Thorne had left the waiting room, and while I wasn't exactly sure how long the surgery took, I was pretty sure it was longer than the thirty minutes that had likely transpired.

Emmett came in and sat down, and he and Alice began a game of hang-man. Of course, the words they were using were of the swear variety, so I was very happy Jax was nowhere around. When Emmett blurted out "cocksucker," my father choked on his coffee. Edward actually laughed at that one.

One hour and five minutes from when Dr. Thorne had initially walked into the waiting room, he returned followed by Jasper, who had a very big smile on his face. "Surgery was successful. She's in recovery for a while, and then we'll get her settled on seven. If Bella hadn't called you when she did and you hadn't brought her in as quickly as you had, it might have burst and you know what problems that would have brought. But luckily, it didn't happen. Good call, Bella," Jasper announced. I was so grateful, I couldn't help but cry. Edward hugged me, and I could feel the tension release from his body.

"Come on, you can come back. Bella, you should go ahead and go home. You won't be able to see her tonight. I'm going to stay tonight, so would you mind dropping Alice off at home?" Jasper asked. I saw Edward nodding in agreement, and I decided that they were probably right. I wasn't family, so of course I wouldn't be able to see her, and I did need to get home so Rosalie could go home.

I kissed Edward's cheek, and he quickly rushed off with Jasper. I walked over to the chairs and hugged my parents, thanking them for coming and then I grabbed my purse and jacket to leave. "Blacksheep, good job of getting me over there when you did. You're a great Mom, you know," Emmett complimented as he hugged me and we all walked out together.

I said an extra-long prayer of thanks that night before I climbed into bed with Jax. I needed to feel her next to me for some reason, and nothing could calm me more than her slow breaths. I was very glad that Chelsea was okay, and it just made me want to hold onto _my_ daughter even tighter.

The next morning after breakfast, I called Peter and rescheduled an appointment he and I had for lunch to drinks that afternoon, and I kept Jax home from school. I'd explained to her that Chelsea was okay, but she was stubbornly insisting to see for herself. I knew I'd play hell getting her into the room to visit, but I hoped that maybe Jasper could smooth the way.

Just as we were about to leave, Jax called, "Wait!" and took off back upstairs. She came back a minute later with her favorite stuffed toy, the star of "_Blue's Clues_," Blue, in tow.

"Why are you bringing him? We'll be home tonight," I asked. She slept with the stupid dog every night, and I couldn't understand why she was bringing him along. More than once, I'd had to turn my car around and go back to my parents' house to pick him up because we'd forgotten him when I picked her up at midnight during my time at the hospital.

"He can stay wiff Chelsea," Jax offered. I was quite touched, but I was also worried what would happen at bedtime without him.

"Honey, that's very sweet, but maybe take her another animal so you have Blue to sleep with tonight," I reasoned. I had no intentions of trying to get into the hospital at 8:30 that night to get him back so Jax could go to sleep.

"I sleep wiff Barbie. She'll give him back," Jax explained. I merely shrugged and led her out to the car.

Fifteen minutes later, after stopping at the gift shop in the hospital and picking up a few story books and an activity book for Chelsea and a balloon or two, we walked off the elevator on seven. I was relieved to see Nancy standing at the desk talking to Dr. Wallace. I approached the desk and waited as he explained some orders to her and then left with a smile for me and Jax.

"Hello Black girls. How are you both today?" Nancy asked with her ever-present smile. I wondered if she had a twin because she seemed to work on every floor.

"What are you doing working up here? I seem to see you on every floor," I joked.

"I'm a floater. I only work part-time or as needed. Lauren called in sick today, so here I am. Let me guess who _you're_ here to see," she teased as she walked around the counter and squatted down in front of Jax.

"Chelsea," Jax announced, holding onto the balloons she'd insisted we get for Chelsea. I thought they were probably more for Jax, but I didn't say anything.

"Well, I can't let you go in because you're too little, but I actually need to use the restroom, so I'm going to be away from the desk for a few minutes. The restrooms are in the opposite direction of Room 707 where little Miss Cullen is resting comfortably," Nancy announced. She squeezed Jax's arm and then stood up and walked away. I quickly ushered Jax down the hall and heard Jasper and Edward talking when we went inside the room.

Jax wasted no time making her presence known. "Redward, we sneaked in," she whispered loudly. I saw Edward look her way and smile, holding his arms out for her, which of course only prompted her to bolt toward him.

"How's my girl?" he asked as he hugged her tightly.

"She's there," Jax responded as she pointed to the bed where Chelsea was resting. Jasper was checking Chelsea's incision as we walked in, and he smiled at me and winked.

"You're my girl, too," Edward told her. Jax wiggled down from his lap and walked to the bed handing Blue to Chelsea.

"What's Blue doing here?" Chelsea asked as Jasper situated the blankets up over her again. I saw that she still had the IV in her arm, and the thought of the needle made me cringe.

"He sleep wiff you so you not scared," Jax explained. I noticed she was holding onto those balloons with a death grip.

"Um, Jax, what else did you bring her?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh," Jax laughed. She handed the balloons strings to Chelsea and started to scramble up on the bed, but not before Edward was able to grab her.

"Sweetie, you can't get in bed with her because she has a hurt tummy, but you can sit here in this big chair and talk to her," he instructed. I knew the visit would be short because Jax had absolutely no patience in her ass.

"Thank you, Jax," Chelsea responded. I walked over to the bed and took them from her, tying them to the knob on the nightstand next to her bed. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and smoothed her beautiful hair from her face.

"How are you, honey?" I asked. She looked very small in the bed, and she was a little pale. I prayed infection didn't set in. I'd looked up the complications on the internet when I got home the night before and saw that it was a possibility.

"I'm sore, but I feel better. Thank you for taking care of me," she told me as I held her hand.

"Oh, any time, sweetie. Here, I thought you might be bored. I know your dad isn't as fun to talk to as your friends at school," I teased as I handed her the books. She laughed, and then grabbed her stomach, obviously in pain.

"Here. Put this on your tummy and hold it tight when you laugh or cough. It'll help. Bella, thanks for taking Alice home last night. Now, since you're here, why don't you talk Edward into going downstairs and showering and getting food? He hasn't left the room since we got her settled last night, and he stinks. I'll take Jaxie with me down to the playroom, even though I don't see her here because it's against hospital policy for her to be in here, and you can sit with Chelsea and keep her company. If everything continues as well as it has been, she'll get to go home just in time for Thanksgiving," Jasper announced. I was very happy to hear that.

"I don't stink," Edward protested as he raised his arms and sniffed under each one. I saw Chelsea clutching the pillow and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"You talk in your sleep, Daddy. He was calling out for you almost all night, Bella. I couldn't get any rest," Chelsea confessed.

"That was supposed to stay between you and me, young lady. Fine, if you're all going to talk about me, I'm going to leave. I'll be back in a little bit. Come on Jax, I'll walk with you down to the playroom and we can see if there's anyone in there that you can play with for a few minutes," Edward snipped as he picked Jax up from her chair and carried her out of the room.

I saw her lean closer to you and take a big sniff. She pinched her fingers on the end of her nose and announced, "You do stink." Jasper and I couldn't help but crack up. Ah, from the mouths of babes…

"I'll be back later. Try to get some sleep, sweetie. Bella, I'll talk to you later. I'll stay down there with her until you're ready to go. I've got a patient down there I need to check on anyway. Bye, ladies," Jasper called as he left the room.

I sat down in the chair next to the bed and looked at her. "So, I can run by your house later and pick up some things before I drop Jax at her grandma's house. Is there anything in particular you need?" I asked.

"Just some clean clothes to come home in. I'm sorry I called you Mom last night. I was really scared, and it just slipped out," Chelsea replied. I looked at her and saw her cheeks turn red, and I knew she was embarrassed.

"Oh, now, don't you worry about that. I know you were scared. I was scared as well. I'm just glad you're okay, honey. It didn't bother me that you called me Mom," I assured. It scared me because I knew she must have been in a lot of pain if it slipped out, but it certainly didn't bother me.

"That's what Daddy said when I told him. I know you're not my mom, but sometimes it feels like it to me," she confessed. I wanted to tell her that sometimes it felt like that to me as well, but I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

Luckily, as I was about to answer, Esme and Carlisle came flying into the room, looking very haggard. "Oh, there's my sweet granddaughter. How are you, honey?" Esme asked. I quickly got out of the way so they could be near their granddaughter and moved to the end of the bed. Carlisle was on one side, and Esme was on the other.

"I'm fine. Bella just made Daddy go take a shower and get something to eat. He slept here last night. I might get to go home tomorrow night," Chelsea announced.

Esme looked at me, and I shrugged. I heard Jasper say in time for Thanksgiving, but I didn't know if that meant Wednesday night or Thursday morning. It then occurred to me that I didn't know what kind of plans the Cullens had for Thanksgiving because Esme and Carlisle were supposed to be in San Francisco, and Edward was supposed to be working. I was cooking dinner for Mom, Dad, Jax and Chelsea. Since the Cullens were home, I felt that I should extend the invitation to them because there wouldn't be time for Esme to shop and prepare dinner for her family.

"Um, look, I know its last minute and my place is small, but you and Carlisle are more than welcome to join us for Thanksgiving. Edward's on duty, I believe, but we can make do," I invited.

"We can do it at my place. It's bigger, and actually, my colleagues are all pitching in to cover my shifts until Monday when I work my last seventy-two. I'd be more than happy to host everyone if someone else will cook. I don't think I'm ready to tackle a turkey," Edward announced as he breezed into the room looking much better than when he'd left.

He hugged his parents and walked over to where I was standing. "Thank you for staying with her while I showered. Now, about Thanksgiving," he began.

I didn't want to have a discussion in front of Chelsea and his parents. I appreciated that he was offering his place, but I didn't know if I was comfortable cooking there, and the fact that I'd have to put the turkey in very early in the morning meant that either I had to get Jax up at 3:00 AM and haul it all over there, or we'd have to spend Wednesday night there.

He'd slept on my couch numerous times, but Jax was a lot younger than Chelsea and she didn't really pay attention to things like that. From what I'd witnessed, Chelsea was quite astute on surveying situations, and I didn't think it was appropriate for her to see me spend the night there.

"Um, let's talk about this outside. I actually need to rescue Jasper and take Jax to my mom's house. I've got errands to run this afternoon, and may I have the key to your place so that I can get Chelsea some clothes to wear home tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Oh, sure. I'll be right back," he announced. I walked over to Chelsea and kissed her cheek and told her I'd see her later, and then I hugged Esme and Carlisle good-bye, with a promise to get back to them regarding location, and Edward and I walked out of the room.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, guiding us to the playroom. We collected Jax, and made our way to the elevator. "So, why don't you want to cook at my place? You designed the damn thing, so I assumed it was something along the lines of what you'd want if you remodeled your kitchen at your place," he assessed.

He was spot on with that shit. "Um, well, yeah, but…let's wait until we get outside," I responded as more people got onto the elevator on six. He reached down, picked up Jax, and tickled her until she squealed, much to the dismay of the other passengers in the elevator.

"Do I smell better?" Edward teased her. She took a big sniff of him and nodded. The three of us laughed, and then we got off in the lobby. Edward walked us to my car, and he situated Jax in the backseat in her booster. When he closed the door after kissing her cheek, he turned to look at me.

"So?" he asked.

"Look, I need to get the turkey in the oven very early, and I don't want to have to get Jax up at 3:00 AM and cart her and all the food over to your house so I can cook there. We can all eat at my place. It'll be a tight fit, but we can make do," I answered. I saw him scrunch up his face, and then a broad smile broke out in its place.

"Aren't you supposed to be at a meeting with my competition?" he asked cockily. The jackass knew I'd had to have cancelled my meeting with Peter to be at the hospital at that particular time.

"Cute. Actually, after I drop Jax off at Mom's house, I'm having a drink with Peter to go over some plans, and then I'll come back and drop off Chelsea's clean clothes for her. I'll leave the key in her bag if you'll give it to me," I responded sharply.

He reached into the pocket of his white lab coat and handed me a key. "Here ya go. Keep it. Now, regarding Thanksgiving, you and Jax can stay the weekend with us. Look, I shouldn't be moving Chelsea around after I get her home tomorrow night, and I'm not the most exciting company for her, as you mentioned yourself. You and Jax can come over tomorrow night and spend the night. I'll stop by before I take Chelsea home and pick up the groceries and take them home with me, and then you and Jax come over for dinner. I'll make something.

"Then, over the weekend, you and Chelsea can look at paint and all that other stuff that you have so she can decide how she wants her room to look. I see it as a great weekend for all of us, plus, our families get along well, so I think they'll all enjoy themselves," he reasoned.

He was right. After he had Chelsea settled at home, he shouldn't be moving her around, so I had no choice but to agree. "Fine. I'll have everything ready to go, and you drop by and pick it up. I'll bring dinner with me, so don't worry about cooking. I'm going to venture a guess that you don't have too many groceries at your place anyway since you haven't been home much since you got back from Italy," I explained.

"You're right on that account. Have you discussed Mexico with Alice? I thought maybe you and I could go out on New Year's Eve. Mom and Dad stay home as a rule, and I'm sure they'd love to have the girls overnight," he suggested. Hmm…a date on New Year's? It had been a very long time since I'd had a date on New Year's.

"We'll see," I answered. I pecked him on the cheek and started to get into the car when he stopped me.

"Thank you so much for everything, Bella. You have no idea how grateful I am that you called me last night and took care of my daughter. You're a remarkable woman, and I love you," he responded before he kissed me gently on the mouth. Nothing like the make-out sessions we'd had on the parking lot when I worked there, but it was sweet and loving, just the same.

When we pulled apart, I was breathless and he was smug. Not at all a surprise. "Bye," I responded as I climbed into the car. I drove away watching him standing next to the parking spot where I'd been parked with that damn sexy smirk on his face.

I picked up my cell and punched in Alice's speed dial number. When she answered, I asked, "Miss Brandon, do you have plans for New Year's?"

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_**E/N: Thank you for reading. I've put up two one-shots on that were contributions to FGB events. They're under my penname. I hope you'll check them out.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: As I mentioned when I posted "Fine Line" I'll never post both stories on the same night again. So very sorry about the SNAFU, but I do appreciate that some of you sent me PMs because you couldn't review again. Thank you all so very much for your reviews, even when you don't agree with the way I've taken the story.**_

_**I had the privilege of having my O/S "If the World Ends" pimped by the Fellowsheep of the Peen. Thank you to the WordyBitches for that…it's rare that I ever get that kind of exposure, and I truly appreciate it. If you hear of any of my stories from a rec, please let me know so I can thank them properly.**_

_**So, I'm posting this chapter, but I won't post next Wednesday because the hubs is taking me on vacay and we've promised to put away all electronic devices…though, he said nothing about battery operated ones ; )**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

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14.

"Mom, can I ask you something?" I asked as I sat in her kitchen having a cup of tea before I took Jax home for bed. I'd met Peter for a drink and explained to him that Jasper and Alice would be accompanying him to Mexico for New Year's. I explained about Edward and I giving it another chance and I apologized to him because there was the possibility that I'd led him on and I wasn't that kind of person. He wasn't pleased about what I told him at all, but he agreed that we'd maintain our professional relationship, for which I was grateful.

I'd stopped at the hospital and dropped off clean clothes for Chelsea and Edward. Esme was going to spend the night with her because Edward had been called down to the ER for a car accident. Carlisle was bringing Esme's clothes, and they were both going to come to Edward's house for Thanksgiving. I was very happy about it.

"Honey, you can ask anything you want. Oh, I'll bring a pie with me on Thursday. What time do you want Dad and me over?" Mom asked. I still had to tell them about the change of venue.

"Um, actually, we're going to have dinner at Edward's house. Chelsea doesn't need to be moved about, and with Carlisle and Esme back unexpectedly, they didn't have plans so I'm cooking for everyone at Edward's house because it's bigger," I announced.

Mom seemed surprised for a minute, and then she smiled. "So, you really _are _in love with Edward Cullen. I feel like a prayer has been answered. I'm glad you're finally able to move on from Jacob. Now, I assume that you've talked to him about his just taking off and the two of you have worked through that. Don't let him take advantage of your good heart, Bella. You deserve better than that," Mom chastised.

"I know, Mom, and we _have_ talked about it. It was chaos, to say the least, because when he found out that Chelsea was possibly alive, he kind of snapped and took off to find her. I can't really blame him, can you?" I asked. I needed her to understand, and I needed her to explain it to Dad. She had a way with him that defied the laws of nature, and I needed her to work her magic with him so that he'd stop giving Edward dirty looks when he was around him.

She seemed to contemplate what I told her, and nodded. "I understand it. You know, Dad gives him a hard time because we love you two and he saw how broken you both were when Edward left. I know that Edward's a decent boy, but it didn't escape our notice that you were nearly as distraught over him leaving than when…than…" she began.

"…than when I lost Jake? I know, Mom. My question is do you think you can fall head-over-heels in love twice in your life? Do you think I'm betraying Jacob's memory?" I asked. It had been weighing on my mind, and I went to one of the most optimistic, flaky, loving people I knew to ask advice.

"Betraying Jacob? No, honey of course not. You and Jacob had a very special love. He's gone now, but I believe it's possible to have that kind of love with more than one person in a lifetime. It's apparent from the look on Edward's face that he loves you and Jax, so if you're worried about what people will think, don't," she answered.

I rose from my chair and kissed her on the cheek because it was exactly what I needed to hear. "Thank you, Mom. I love you, you know. Now, I need to get Jax home and to bed. Thanks for taking care of her," I responded. I went to the living room and scooped her up from my dad's sleeping lap and took her home. After she was settled into bed, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Edward.

_How's Chelsea? We miss you two-B_

Almost immediately, I get a response.

_Resting comfortably. We miss you two, too. Glad you're coming for the weekend. Friday we're going car shopping-E_

Car shopping? I was curious about that.

_Car shopping?-B_

_I need a car to haul our family around. There are more than two of us. Maybe we'll keep the two-seater for date nights?-E_

_Date nights? Will there be enough of those to warrant a separate car?-B_

_If I have my say, there will. I love you, Bella. Going to the ER. I'll talk to you in the morning-E_

_I love you, too. Tomorrow-B_

I settled into my bed and fell into a peaceful sleep that night. No nocturnal conversations over coffee with my dead husband and no worries about Chelsea. It was absolutely glorious.

##

"Where's Redward?" Jax asked as I was packing up the groceries to send them with Edward. He'd sent a text that they were on their way that Wednesday night, and I was getting everything ready.

"He's on his way, Miss Impatient. Now, did you brush your teeth?" I asked. I'd finally taught her how to do it herself, and she seemed to grasp the concept.

"Yup," she announced as she smiled broadly, showing me her glowing smile. I couldn't help but laugh.

Just then, I heard the knock and the front door open. Edward walked inside carrying Chelsea in his arms. He gently placed her on my couch and smiled. "Where's my other girl?" he announced as I closed the front door.

Jax ran at him full speed, and he picked her up and kissed her loudly on her cheek. "How are you?" he asked. I could see that he'd missed her and he was trying to listen to her rapid ramblings. I appreciated his attention to her. It was something she needed, and he seemed to sense it and be more than happy to accommodate her.

I walked to the couch and sat down gingerly next to Chelsea, leaving them to their conversation. She was holding Blue in her arms, and I couldn't help but smile. "I'm fine. I missed you, too," she answered my unasked question as I kissed her forehead. She needed her hair washed and a shower, but she was so sweet that I couldn't help but gently hug her.

"I tell ya what. When I come over later, I'll help you shower and we'll wash your hair so you get the hospital smell off of you. When do you have to go back to see Dr. Whitlock?" I asked.

"She has an appointment on Tuesday to check her progress," Edward announced as he tickled Jax. She was squealing with laughter, and I saw Chelsea laugh and then her face scrunched up in pain. I handed her a couch pillow and she held it against her stomach as Jasper had instructed her. She smiled at me and seemed to be more comfortable.

"Okay, well, I was just finishing up getting everything together. I'll go finish and then you two can go home," I announced as I rose from the couch.

I walked into the kitchen and continued down the carefully constructed list I'd created. He had nothing at his place, so I had to anticipate everything, and a list became completely necessary. Just as I was finishing, Edward walked into the kitchen. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me just the way I'd wanted him to for as long as I'd known him. His tongue swept across my lips, and I couldn't help but open them to him and swirl my tongue with his. It was incredible, and I'd missed it very much.

He pulled me closer to him and held me tightly, seeming to forget that both of our daughters were in the living room. When his lips left mine, he gently kissed my cheek…to my jaw…to my neck, sending a flash of fire through my body which manifested itself between my legs. God, I needed to have sex with the man.

Once we pulled away from each other, I saw the smile on his face that I adored, and I knew he had something to say. "Give me your car keys," he announced as he held up the keys to his expensive car on his index finger with this other arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I had no intentions of driving the damn thing. It cost more than my house.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm going to take the girls with me, and I need the room, plus my car doesn't have room for all of this shit, so I'll take yours, and you bring mine when you're done with whatever you have to do this evening, which I hope doesn't involve the architect," he announced.

I laughed. He was still worried about Peter O'Rourke, and he truly had no reason to be. We were colleagues, but that was it. "You're so crazy. You have absolutely nothing to worry about with regard to Peter. We'll be working together, but that's where it ends. I'm actually in love with someone, and I have no room for anyone else in my life. All I have to do is finish packing for Jax and me," I answered as I played with the back of his hair.

"You don't need to pack too much," he teased. He kissed me again, and of course, he left me panting. I had the very distinct feeling that sometime over the weekend I was going to be naked with Edward Cullen, yet again. If it happened, it wasn't going to be simple touching or oral sex…it was going to be the real deal. I was ready to have the man make love to me, but I had to figure out how to make the time. I anticipated that some sneaking around would be involved, but that could be quite fun.

"I need to finish up packing and stop at the store to pick up some yeast because I forgot it earlier. Let's get the girls settled in the car, and I'll be along shortly, I promise," I told him. He kissed me again, and that time, I took over and made my intentions known. I swept my tongue over his delectable mouth and when he parted his soft lips, I wasted no time sweeping my tongue inside to dance with his. Suddenly, our hands were groping each other indecently…his on my breast, and mine on his ass, and had we not heard the peals of laughter from the living room, I couldn't guarantee that we wouldn't be naked in my kitchen fucking on the table within about thirty seconds.

"_Jax, stop_," we heard Chelsea laugh. That brought both of us out of our lust-induced fog, and we hurried into the living room, seeing Jax dancing around to the music in her head. Chelsea was laughing as she clutched the pillow over her stomach, and we were both relieved it wasn't something more serious.

"I dance like Memmett," Jax called as she continued to stomp around the living room with her arms flailing about and then she stopped and began moving her arms in a circle with her hips going in the opposite direction. She was actually spot on with her imitation of Emmett dancing. I'd witnessed it at the wedding reception, and I couldn't help but join in the laughter. His moves were certainly unique.

"Honey, you make Chelsea's tummy hurt when she laughs like that," I called out between my fits of laughter. Edward wasn't faring any better than me.

"No, that's okay. It's good for her to laugh. She needs to keep her spirits up and endorphins are released when she laughs which actually help with the pain. Okay, show's over. Let's go to my house and get you two settled. Your mom will be along shortly," Edward called. He went to the couch and picked up Chelsea, carrying her out, and I picked up Jax, following behind him.

"Listen, I'll be there in a few minutes. You behave and listen to what Edward tells you. You need to help him take care of Chelsea," I instructed as we approached the CRV. Edward had Chelsea settled in the back seat in a seatbelt, and I opened the door and placed Jax in her booster.

"I will, Momma," she answered. I kissed her forehead and closed the car door. Edward walked around the car and opened the driver's side door.

"I'll see you in a few. I love you," he told me as he kissed me chastely on the lips and climbed into my car. They were off in a minute, and I hurried back inside the house to pack us some clothes and necessities and hurried to the store.

One box of dry yeast later and I was pulling up outside of Edward's house. I had my swatch books and paint chips and I was ready to get Chelsea's ideas for what she wanted her room to be. I was quite excited to see what she had in mind.

I grabbed our bags and the small bag containing the dry yeast, and I rang the bell. Jax opened the door with a big smile on her face and a Barbie doll in her hand. "Welcome home, Momma."

I laughed as I breezed by her and walked into the kitchen. I began putting away the groceries that Edward had carried in from my car, and I wasn't at all surprised when two strong arms wrapped around me and two very warm lips took purchase on my neck. "Welcome home," he whispered. I was taken aback because I didn't know exactly what that meant.

I dropped the sweet potatoes in my hands and turned around to look at him. "What exactly does _that_ mean?" I asked.

Just then, Jax ran into the kitchen and picked up my swatch book and ring of paint samples. "We're gonna pick our colors," she called as she ran out again. I looked at Edward and cocked an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

"Um, well, I sort of asked Chels what she thought about you two moving in here with us because I thought Jax was asleep. I didn't know about her game of 'possum' that she plays with Billy. Anyway, Chelsea was on board with the idea and suggested that when you did a room for her, maybe you could do the room next to hers for Jax. Your daughter is quite the little actress," he answered looking nervous.

Oh, he had every right to be nervous. Moving in? Seriously? We had a lot of ground to cover before we ever got to that point. "Um, I don't know…I think…fuck, what am I supposed to say to that?" I asked.

"Look, just take a deep breath and listen to me. I love you, and you say you love me. We're a family, whether you're ready to admit it or not, and I want us to all be settled together. I appreciate that you take care of Chelsea when I work, but seriously, you're not a babysitter. My dragging her back and forth is ridiculous, and well, you've designed the perfect house for us.

"I want so much for us all, and I know that I've got a few years left to get through with my residency, but Bella, I want you to…shit, I didn't plan to do this tonight, but I really, really want you to marry me. I want us to build a life for those two girls out there who are missing a mother and a father, and well, here we are. You're a mother, and I'm a father, and I love your daughter and you love mine. Most importantly, I love you. I want you to marry me. Will you?" he asked. I needed to sit down, so I pulled away from him and grabbed a kitchen chair, sinking into it.

I was so beyond a panic attack that I was regretting the fact that I hadn't had the forethought to make a Will for when I dropped dead of sheer terror. My parents would, of course, take care of Jax so if I was going to die, she'd be loved.

"You're fucking kidding, right?" I asked without reservation. It had to be a joke. We hadn't even discussed anything remotely close to getting married. We were just barely dating again.

"I'm not kidding at all. I planned to ask you this weekend. I have Mom and Dad scheduled to watch the girls on Saturday night so I can take you out for dinner to do it right, but we need to have this discussion right now. Look, I know you loved Jacob, and you know I loved Gianna, but, honey, they're both gone. We have, somehow, been able to find our way to each other, and it just feels right to me. I love you. I love Jax. I want to make a family with the two of you and the two of us. Please, Bella, will you marry me?" he asked again.

It was crazy, but it felt absolutely right. He'd been through a lot of shit with me, and I with him. He loved us, and we loved him. I loved Chelsea, and Jax loved Chelsea, and suddenly, in my mind's eye, I could see a very happy, fulfilling life for the four of us. I knew my answer, and it wasn't at all what I expected it would be.

I looked at him and saw how worried he was, so I walked around the table and sat down on his lap. "I'd love to make a family with you. I'll marry you. I love you, and as improbable as it all seems, it just seems perfect, so yes, I'll marry you," I told him before I showered kisses all over his face. It was a beautiful moment that I prayed I'd never forget as long as I drew a breath.

"Oh, God, thank you. You're amazing," he answered. He pulled my mouth to his and kissed me deeply. As his tongue danced with mine, I felt happier than I'd been in a very long time. He was completely right. Jacob wasn't coming back and Gianna wasn't coming back, but we each had a daughter to raise and we loved each other. Maybe it was the next adventure. At that moment, he was the only man I could ever imaging taking it with, so it had to be right. I was going to marry Edward Cullen, and I was quite happy about it.

##

"Chelsea, honey, you tell me if your tummy starts to hurt," I instructed as I washed her hair. She was in the shower, and I was trying my best to help her. We'd covered the bandage on her lower abdomen with plastic wrap, and she'd washed herself up. She just needed help with her hair because it hurt for her to raise her arms over her head. I could understand that completely.

"Did you like what I picked out for my room?" she asked as I shampooed her hair, feeling the shower water wet my arms. I had on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that I was planning to sleep in, but I could tell they'd be soaked, so I was going to have to make a contingency plan.

She'd chosen a warm rose color for her room with tan accents. The fabric she'd chosen for her drapes and comforter were small flowers and shades of pink, rose, and brown. It was going to be stunning.

"I think it'll be gorgeous. Now, Jax's choices are a little more difficult for me to work with," I joked. My daughter, the ever ambitious one, had chosen red, yellow, green and black. A near four-year old choosing to have black in her room worried me a little bit.

When I asked her why, she said it was the color of her hair. I couldn't argue with that, so I set about trying to figure out how to incorporate black into her room without making it look like a dungeon. It was going to be a feat that was for certain.

"She said that green is like Dad's eyes. Yellow is the sun, and red is her favorite color. I think she's very smart," Chelsea commented as she climbed out of the shower and I wrapped a towel around her slight body. I dried her hair with another towel and combed it, and then I helped her into her pajamas after we removed the plastic wrap from around her, and I left her to finish her routine of brushing her teeth and whatever she did before bed.

Jax was already asleep in a spare room that Edward deemed would be hers, and when I went in to check on her as he cleaned up the dinner dishes, I saw she was out like a light. I made sure to switch on a nightlight for her and left the door cracked, just in case.

I stopped by Chelsea's room and saw her settled into her bed. I walked in and sat down on the side and tucked her covers around her, feeling very protective of her. "You know, your name means beautiful in Italian," she offered. I felt myself blush at her comment, and I kissed her forehead.

"You, dear child, are beautiful. I'm so happy you're here with us and you're going to be fine. I hope you know that Jax and I love you very much," I responded with the only thing that came into my head at that point in time. She stretched her arms to me and I hugged her, feeling the tears for the beautiful girl who seemed to have so much love in her in spite of what she'd been through. I didn't hesitate to hug her as gently as I could without hurting her.

"I love you too, and I know that you love Dad. I hope you'll live here with us. I think it would be fun to have a little sister," she responded as she released her hold on me.

I didn't know when we'd talk to them about the decision we'd made to get married, but it would have to come from the two of us, so I merely kissed her forehead. As I rose to leave her to go to sleep, I heard Edward in the hallway. When I walked out of Chelsea's room, he was coming out of the room where Jax was sleeping.

"She doesn't waste time. She's out," he remarked. He kissed me sweetly and walked into Chelsea's room. I left him to be alone with his daughter and walked downstairs finding the rest of the bottle of wine we'd opened for dinner on the coffee table in the living room with two glasses. There was a fire in the huge stone fireplace, and there was soft music playing on the stereo.

I poured us each a glass of the burgundy we'd had with our dinner of spaghetti and marinara, and I settled into the couch I'd procured for the room. It was very comfortable, and I knew I'd made a good choice.

I took a sip and sat back and closed my eyes. Was I really going to marry the man and make a life with him? Could I really move on from Jacob? Would Jax be okay with having two new people in our life permanently? The only answer that came to me with every question I asked myself was a definitive 'yes'.

"Hey now, don't fall asleep on me," I heard as Edward sat down next to me on the couch. His eyes were so clear and bright and happy, and I knew I was making the right decision just by looking into them. He'd love us and he'd take care of us just as we'd take care of him and Chelsea. It was the perfect thing to do.

I smiled at him, hoping he could see the love in my eyes as well. He looked so absolutely adorable in a sweatshirt and jeans. He looked worried, and he had no reason to be. "I was merely picturing our life together. I'm not sleepy, trust me," I answered. I set my glass down on the table and snuggled into his side listening to the music wafting softly around us.

I listened to the beautiful music and was entranced by the sound of it. "Who is this?" I asked. It was incredible.

"It's Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman. She was married to Andrew Lloyd Weber and was in the stage play of "Phantom of the Opera" before they divorced. It's called _'Con te Partiro'_. It means 'time to say goodbye'," he answered. The orchestration was beautiful, and their voices were like angels singing.

We sat and listened, and I was swept away. "Look, I mean nothing about 'goodbye' with it. It's a beautiful song, and that's what I was aiming for when I put the CD on," he remarked nervously.

I chuckled next to him. "Actually, it's quite fitting if you think about it. If we're going to make a life for the four of us, it's time for us to say good-bye to the past. We need a fresh start, and we can't have ghosts haunting us if we're truly going to make a go of it, so it _is_ time to say goodbye," I answered.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're a very intelligent woman, Bella Black. I'm a very lucky man to have you love me," he responded as he looked into my eyes. I was nervous because I knew what I wanted to happen, and I hadn't had it happen in a very long time, so it would be like a first time all over again. Of course, I wasn't the blushing virgin any longer, but I still blushed so not much had changed except that I knew what I wanted, and I wanted him.

He pushed me down on the couch and kissed me gently…once…twice…three times. Each successive kiss became more passionate, and before I knew what was happening, we were pulling at each other's clothes in the living room on the couch. That wasn't exactly how I wanted our first time to be, so I stopped him.

"Edward, we should go to your room," I whispered as he unbuttoned my shirt. That stopped him. Suddenly, he realized where we were and how bad it would be if either of our daughters walked down the stairs to find us on the couch in various stages of undress.

"Shit, you're right. Come on," he announced as he pulled me from the couch and threw me over his shoulder. I couldn't help but laugh as he carried me upstairs. Lights were on all over the house, and the CD player had switched to another CD, but he didn't seem to care and I wasn't about to stop him.

We went to his bedroom and he closed and locked the door before he put me on my feet. I felt a head rush and grabbed onto his arms to hold me up. "I can walk, you know," I responded to his act of caveman-ism.

"I'm well aware of that, but I like to surprise you. Now, what time do you plan to have dinner on the table? I didn't ask anyone what time they were coming over," he responded.

"Let's see, twenty-pound bird, sides, um I need to be up by 6:00 AM," I answered. It wasn't my original timeframe, but I determined that I could get a lot done and we could eat at 2:00 PM. I'd call the guests in the morning with the change of time, and it would be fine. Mom was bringing pies, and Esme said she'd bring a side dish and a pie, so I could handle the rest.

I saw him pick up his alarm clock on the bedside table and press some buttons. He placed it back where it was, and it was then that I noticed a picture of Jax and me from Rosalie and Emmett's wedding in a silver frame on the table. It was the one where I was squatting down to her and we were talking about the fact that she'd have a large wedding. I remembered the moment all too well, and I couldn't help the tears in my eyes.

"I can't believe you have that picture," I commented as he turned to me. He picked it up and looked at it with a smile on his face.

"That was the moment that I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was in love with you. Why wouldn't I want to commemorate it?" he asked. I kicked off my shoes and flung myself across the bed at him. Thankfully he caught me and kissed me as passionately as I wanted to kiss him.

I was kneeling on the bed with my arms tightly around his neck and he was holding me just as tightly. He gently moved us up the bed until I was lying down and he was on top of me, kissing me for all I was worth…or maybe more than I was worth. It was incredible.

"We need to get these clothes off," he breathed against my neck as he continued unbuttoning my blouse from our time downstairs. I didn't stop him that time. I tugged at the sweatshirt he was wearing and he pulled it off over his head and then my blouse was being pulled from my body as well.

His hot mouth was everywhere, and I was in heaven. He unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pushing them down my legs, and then he stood and rid himself of his as well.

When he climbed back onto the bed, I took the opportunity to slip my hand into his boxer briefs and circle my fingers around his very impressive cock.

I pumped my hand up and down it a few times before he stilled it. "God, please don't do that. I won't last if you do," he whispered against my chest. I understood him completely. He hadn't even really touched me yet, but my body was on fire.

We made quick work of my bra and panties and his boxer briefs. He settled himself between my legs and just when I thought he was about to slip inside me, he stopped. "Wait. Hop up," he instructed. I did as he commanded, and watched him pull the bedspread and covers down on the bed. Once it was unmade, he pulled me back down onto the bed and repositioned himself on top of me.

"Don't want to get the spread dirty?" I asked, feeling very perplexed by his actions.

"What? God, no. I just want you in our bed like it should be. This shouldn't be done on top of the bedspread in a hurry. I've waited too fucking long for it and I want to do this right," he answered.

With that, he gently stroked into me, and it was incredibly, wonderfully amazing. That was the only way I could describe it. I'd only ever been with one man, and it was wonderful. I had to put those memories away and enjoy what the man who had just asked me to marry him was doing to me. And, God, what he was doing to me was indescribable.

We moved against each other, and we both gasped at the feeling. He moved in ways that I didn't know a man could move, and the contact was something I wasn't anticipating. Before I knew what was happening, I was a whimpering, simpering, writhing puddle of need. I felt myself gearing up for release, and I was shocked and ready for it. With several more strokes of his thumb on my clit, I was gone.

I gasped.

I cursed.

I came.

It was glorious.

It was freeing.

It was more than I ever hoped for.

He continued to move on top of me after he stopped for a moment and kissed me passionately. I wanted to feel him release inside me, so I began moving my hips against his, and soon, I felt his breathing pick up.

"Oh, fuck," he whispered as he swirled his tongue around my right nipple. He moved faster, and I couldn't help but move with him. He had stamina that was for fucking sure.

Suddenly, he crashed his mouth into mine, and I felt him twitch inside me. "Oh God, I love you," he whispered as he pulled away from me for a moment and then collapsed on top of me, holding his weight on his elbows. I prayed that was a good sign.

"Um, so?" I asked apprehensively after a few moments of silence.

It was our first time, and I wasn't sure at all if he'd enjoyed it. I was worried that I hadn't done something I could have that would have made it better for him, but when the smile broke out on his face, I knew immediately that I had nothing to worry about.

"_So_? You really have to question that? It was fantastic, Bella," he answered my unasked question.

"You're sure? I mean, I could have done something better, but I'm not exactly…" I began. He kissed me to shut me up, and I couldn't help but laugh against his mouth.

He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. "You don't need to worry, and you couldn't have done anything better. It was perfect, love. I enjoyed it, and if I'm not mistaken, I think you did too, right?" he asked sounding a little anxious in his own right.

"Yes," I quickly answered. I didn't want him to worry. I wasn't very sure of myself, having only been with Jacob, and I actually didn't know if there was something I should have done that I didn't, but he seemed completely satisfied so I chose not to question it.

He gently rolled off of me, about which I wasn't really happy, but when he pulled me into his body and wrapped his arms around me, I was instantly placated. It felt fabulous to be held so intimately. It had been a very long time for me.

"Bella, I've waited a while for that, and I want there to be no doubt that I truly enjoyed it. I've fantasized about it, but it was far better than my thoughts could conjure. There's a lot to be said for making love to someone," he responded as he kissed the top of my head.

He was absolutely right, and as I kissed his chest, I knew that what we had was right for both of us. It wasn't going to be easy, and it wasn't going to be perfect but it was us. It was going to be a new adventure that I welcomed with open arms.

\\\

_**E/N: Oh, sorry, I forgot to warn you that they were finally going to do the deed…hope you weren't disappointed.**_

_**Let me know what you think, please. Oh, I'm almost finished with "Fine Line" and I'm trying to decide which story to put up when I get back to you all after Easter. Here are the two choices that I'm offering at the moment. I have a vamp story that I've been working on and a story about two virgins…I guess I should give you more.**_

"**Choices"**

The Volturis' three most intoxicating agent are dispatched to the United States with orders to bring back three powerful assets. Unbeknownst to the Triumvirate, one of their agents knows that things have changed in the organization and a very important part of the process has been abandoned…the _choice_ of the asset to join or not to join. Will the agents succumb to the orders of their superiors or will they take matters into their own hands to protect the innocents?

Twilight/AU. Vamps/Humans/Wolves/Hybrids…They're all in there, but I mixed it up a bit. Canon couples with a few surprises thrown in. NC-17 for lemony goodness, language. Good guys…bad guys…Beautiful girls.

_**Or the other…**_

"Doors & Windows & Faith"

_The road less traveled was the path on which Edward Cullen was walking. As his mentor had told him, it wasn't for everyone, and as the day approached to make a lifelong commitment, he knew that it wasn't right for him. A flight home to explain his decision to his loved ones puts him in the seat next to someone who would change his path forever._

_All human. Canon couples. NC-17 for language and future adult situations. _

_**So, with that said…Till next time…xoxo**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Hello Lovelies! I'm back safe and sound and ready with another chapter for you! Thank you for your reviews, support, and patience during my vacation. Croatia is a lovely country, and I strongly recommend going if you ever get the opportunity to visit.**_

_**Let's get right to it…SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**\\\**_

15.

"Baby, are you awake?" I felt whispered against my ear. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was, but I quickly remembered that I was in Edward's bed and I was completely naked. His lips on my shoulder reminded me very quickly where I was and what we'd done earlier. I felt him hard against my back, and I was very fucking certain then that I was awake.

I quickly turned in his arms and saw the smile on his face and his question made perfect sense to me. "I am now," I whispered as I kissed across his chest.

He quickly shifted onto his back and pulled me on top of him. "Anything wrong?" I teased. Maybe I wasn't that experienced, but I knew what the hell he wanted, and I was determined that he was going to have to work for it a little.

"Wrong? The only thing wrong is that I'm not inside of you," he whispered. I laughed softly at his comment.

"Really? That's a problem?" I teased again as I kissed and nipped along his neck. It was my turn to tease him. He was so fucking sexy, and I was enjoying getting to know his body and his needs. I had my own needs, and I certainly wanted him inside me, but I wanted to torture him a little first.

"Shit…you're going to tease me, aren't you? Well, I'm pretty damn tough. Do your worst," he whispered. I quickly centered myself over him and slid down his hard cock. In that moment, it felt better being on top of him than it had with him on top of me.

"Yesss," he gasped as I stopped moving and sat up on him. I sat very still and looked at him with my arms crossed over my breasts, staring at him.

"Usually, it's more pleasant for both of us if we move around," he joked. I wiggled a little, but didn't stroke on him. I just ground my clit into his pelvic bone, enjoying the unexpected friction.

I was a bit surprised when Edward growled, "fuuuuccccckkkk," under me.

"I think that's what we're doing, right?" I teased quietly.

"You are so absolutely perfect for me, except for the fact that you're a tease," he whispered as he pulled my body down closer to him. He kissed me passionately, and I had nothing else to say because it _was_ perfect.

I moved against him harder, enjoying the moans and groans from both of us at the contact. Before I knew it, I was reaching Cloud 12, having far surpassed Cloud 9. I had to bite my lip to keep from cursing and screaming, but I made it, and he wasn't far behind me.

We quickly settled back into sleep, and I was surprised to find myself in my kitchen in Ft. Hood with a steaming cup of coffee before me and my dead husband in his full dress uniform sitting across from me.

"Bells, is something on your mind, sweetheart?" he asked. I couldn't figure out why I was there, but I knew what was on my mind, so I cleared my throat and plowed in. I could hear the music from earlier in the background, and it was truly time to say good-bye. I thought I had, but maybe I hadn't, so it was time once and for all.

"Um, Edward asked me to marry him tonight. What do you think about that?" I asked. I took a sip from the cup, not tasting it, but I knew it was my stall tactic.

I was surprised that he smiled at me. It was a very bright smile, and I didn't know what to make of it. "So, you're finally ready? I'm so happy about that. I never wanted you to be alone, you know. It's hard for me to give you up, but I can't really look out for my girls anymore, now can I? Well, Cullen seems like a good guy, so I gladly relinquish my role as the caretaker," Jacob responded.

I couldn't help the tears. I knew it was going to be the last time I'd see him, and while it was a good thing, considering I was moving on, it made my heart ache again. I'd loved Jacob for a long time, but it was really time to let him go.

"Yeah, I guess that's right. Am I doing the right thing for Jax and me?" I asked him.

"_You_ are the only person who can answer that question, Bells. Am I jealous? Hell yeah. But, I can't be there so I want you to be happy. Look, think about having that little boy we never got the opportunity to have, and let that man love you and take care of you. That's all he really wants to do, you know," he answered.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew it would be hard because last good-byes always are, but we needed to have one so I had to man-up and have mine. "I'll think about it. We haven't talked about kids because we have the girls, but maybe…someday. You do know that you'll always have a place in my heart, right?" I asked.

"Sure…sure. You know that Gianna will always have a place in his heart, right? I mean, they seemed to have a love like ours, and even though it wasn't as long as ours, it doesn't mean it wasn't as deep. Don't go gettin' all jealous and shit. He loves you, so give him a little space on that," Jacob advised. He was right. I knew that Edward loved Gianna, and there was no room for jealousy in the relationship we had. We both knew we'd loved before, but we were moving on.

"I'll take care of your dad, you know. He's very important to me, and actually, Charlie and Renee are bringing him tomorrow," I responded. I saw Jacob laugh, and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Only you would continue to take care of your dead husband's father. Well, it seems like Cullen's okay with that, so thank you both. Look Bells, I've got a few things to say before I'm gone for good. I'm proud of you for everything you've done for our daughter. I'm sorry that I had to go away the way I did, but I'm so glad you found a decent guy to love you and Jax. I appreciate that you'll always love me, but let me go because you've got a new love in your life who needs to know that you love him. I understand it completely. I'll love you and Jax forever. Now, wake up, honey, and move on with the rest of your life. I love you…I love you…I love you…

I jolted awake like I'd been shot just as the alarm went off. The entire thing was far different than any other time I'd talked to Jacob in our little kitchen. I actually felt like I was talking to_ him_, not talking to myself through his voice. It was disturbing to say the least.

I felt the tears on my cheeks, but Edward was already sitting up on the bed looking at me with worry in his eyes, having turned on a bedside light. "Is everything okay?' I asked warily.

"You tell me," he answered.

I dried my face on the sheet and smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm absolutely fine. It was a final good-bye, I guess. He was in the uniform I buried him in, so I know he's not coming back, and I guess he gave me his blessing on this. Now, we've got a few minutes before I need to get up and cook, so are you gonna kiss me or what?" I asked.

He smiled at me and didn't hesitate. He kissed me, he made love to me, and he helped me make Thanksgiving dinner for a whole group of people, Billy included. It was a perfect holiday, and I was happier and more at peace than I'd been in a very, very long time.

##

I was priming the walls of Chelsea's room. I'd gone to the hardware store in town that morning and bought the paint that I needed for her room, along with primer. Edward had helped me move furniture into the hallway, and I'd covered the carpeting with drop cloths. It was Black Friday, and I had no intentions of going shopping, so painting seemed like a good idea.

My mom was downstairs with Jax and Chelsea, who was feeling better, and they were baking cookies. I was grateful that she was able to come over and occupy them so that I could paint. I had stopped by my house and picked up a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, an old Mariner's baseball cap, and I was ready to work.

I could have called the painters to come back, but I wanted to do it myself because it was my gift to Chelsea. I'd ordered the new comforter and curtains in the fabric she'd picked out, and they were due to arrive in two weeks. I was very excited about it.

The room Jax wanted was more of a puzzle to me. I decided to incorporate the black she'd chosen by way of chalk board paint on the lower half of one of the walls in her room. It would give her a creative outlet that would hopefully keep her from coloring on the walls as she'd done in her room at home a time or two, and it would give her the black she wanted.

The rest of the colors would come together, but the goal for the weekend was to get Chelsea's room going. Edward had to go to the hospital for something, so I was on my own. I had my iPod in my ears, and I was rolling on primer while singing and dancing along to the song pulsing through my ears.

I was actually giddy from the night before. If I thought Wednesday night was spectacular, Thursday night was like fireworks, my birthday, and Christmas all rolled into one. Both of the girls were exhausted from all of the activity during the day, and they both went to bed at 8:30. Everyone left shortly after, and Edward and I sat on his back deck with the fire pit in the Adirondack chairs, enjoying a nice glass of Grand Marnier. It was calming and sweet, and sitting on his lap in the chair was quite comforting.

"_So, are you going to give me an answer about moving in? You've already agreed to marry me, so you're not getting out of that anytime soon. You can keep your house and maybe rent it or something. It's a great house, and if you hadn't done such a spectacular job here, I'd suggest we live there, but you did and this one is bigger. So?" he asked._

_We hadn't discussed my dream from the night before, but I knew it was weighing on him and needed to be dealt with. "Look, I know the dream I had last night might have caused some worry for you, but it shouldn't. It was a final good-bye because I've moved on. I didn't realize I needed to do it, but apparently my subconscious did. I truly have peace about Jacob, and I hope you have the same peace about Gianna. We can't plan a life together if we don't put them to rest," I answered. _

_I hadn't been to group in a while, but it was one thing I knew from my time there. You had to learn to put the past away, and I honestly felt like I'd finally done it. I just needed him to assure me that he had as well._

"_Sweetheart, I know you needed your closure, and I'm glad you got it. I got mine in Italy when I went to Gianna's grave and told her good-bye, so I don't need any more closure than that. Now, moving in?" he asked._

"_Um, okay. I'm not a prude, as I think you found out last night, but…I worry about us moving in together without the confines of marriage with two daughters living here. I know it won't register with Jax. She'll just be happy to have her Redward around. But, Chelsea is eight, and she's very astute at weighing situations, and I don't want us to set a poor example," I answered him honestly._

_He laughed and kissed me sweetly. "You're a one of a kind, do you know that? She wants you two here as much as I do, and the fact that we're not married doesn't even register with her. Remember, I wasn't married to her mother, and her grandmother wasn't married to Finn, so the concept of marriage is completely foreign to her. I think she'd be excited about helping you plan a wedding, and we both know that Jax would love it as long as a veil of some sort was involved, so please don't worry about that," he answered as he took a sip from his drink. Well, that was as much as I needed to know, so I agreed to figure out how we'd combine households and he carried me inside._

_When his fingers found my clit that night, I had no baggage to keep me from thoroughly enjoying the feeling. His deep kisses and his hands on me nearly catapulted me out of the bed, and if that was what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life, fuck, bring it on._

_After we made love, him behind me at a pounding pace, we fell into a very peaceful sleep. There were no dreams of dead loved one's that night, and I was grateful. I was ready for the rest of my life, and he and Chelsea were dead center of it, standing next to my daughter._

As I sang along with Adam Levine, I felt more than saw that Edward was staring at me. I pulled the earbuds out and looked at him. He had a very satisfied smirk on his face, and it caused me to laugh. "What's got you looking so damn smug this morning? You were gone when I got up," I remarked as I dipped the roller into the paint tray and moved along the wall continuing my task.

"Your mom and I were laughing about your singing. I love you, but honey, don't give up your day job, and you should be cognizant of the fact that when you have the earbuds in, you can't hear yourself. I find it adorable, but the girls had their fingers plugged in their ears," he teased as he sat down in the floor watching me.

"Well, you can all go fu…pound sand. I like painting, and if Adam Levine ever shows up at the front door, don't get in my way because I'll knock you down to get to him. He's very sexy, and he'd be the only man to turn my head. Now, what was wrong at the hospital that you were gone when I woke?" I asked feeling the heat on my face from his comment about my less than stellar vocal abilities. Fuck them all, I was having fun.

"_Oh, really?_ The skinny pale tatted-up guy from Maroon 5 gets you going and you'd leave me for him? Hmmm…I'll have to step up my game so that you won't even remember his name. I'll have to get my guitar out and play you a song or two. I think _that_, coupled with what I can do to you…and you know what I mean…would solidify the fact that you aren't going to want to go anywhere anytime soon. Besides, from what I've heard on TV, he's a fuckhound, and I don't think you'd sign on for that," Edward answered cockily.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him for a moment, considering his words. I laughed at the smirk on his face, and replied, "Well, it takes one to know one, now doesn't it?"

He was off the floor and the roller was out of my hands before I knew what the fuck was happening. "I'm not a fuckhound, and you're not going anywhere. You're mine, and I'm yours, and no singer, songwriter, actor, or _architect_ is going to tempt you away from me. I'll make very certain that you know that I'm the only man for you, even if I have to tie you to the goddamn bed," he answered as he kissed my neck and left me completely dizzy with desire.

"That's a very interesting proposal, Dr. Cullen," I whispered as I moved his mouth to mine and kissed him deeply. He was absolutely adorable, and I couldn't help but kiss him. Fuck, who wouldn't?

After we pulled away from the kiss, he looked into my eyes and I could see my whole life in them. God, he was incredible. How'd I ever get him? How'd he ever notice me?

"I've got a question for you. You apparently took notice of me when I worked in the morgue, and I'm not sure what caught your attention. You never really said anything until the McCarty's wedding came into play, so what made you ask me to go with you?" I asked. It was something I wanted to know very much.

I saw him close his eyes briefly and then smile. "Honestly?" he asked. Of course I wanted an honest answer.

"Yes, I want an honest answer," I responded. Okay, I wanted an honest answer unless it was going to piss me off.

"Well, this will make me sound like a complete douchebag, but you're built like a brick shithouse, and that caught my eye right away. I asked about your situation, and when I finally found someone who would tell me you were single, you were on my radar. Most people wouldn't really give me a straight answer, you know. They'd just say that you were working through a relationship. I had no fucking idea what that meant, but when I finally cornered Yorkie and found out you were single, I began watching you. I couldn't speak to you because I didn't know what the hell to say to you. I knew about Jax, but I didn't know if you were separated or divorced. Widowed never even crossed my mind," he answered honestly.

"So, it was only the body?" I asked as went back to painting. It was fascinating to get into his head. I was always surprised with what I found there.

"God, no. The body caught my eye, but it was your smart mouth that truly captivated me. You are a mystery, Bella. You have to know that. You were definitely one I wanted to solve, that's for damn sure," he answered as he slipped off his shoes and took the roller from me.

"So, Dr. Tightass?" I asked as I picked up a brush to do the trim work. Hell, if he was going to help me, I wasn't going to bitch about it. I'd just do something else.

"God, Jane was such a mistake, it wasn't even funny. She came onto me at a hospital fund raiser before I ever laid eyes on you, and I was such a mess that I didn't really think about it. I'm not proud of it, and I don't think you want me to go into detail about it. It was wrong on so many levels, but I was so fucked up at the time that it didn't even faze me. Anyway, can we move on from that?" he asked as he moved the roller over the paint tray.

Could we? I knew we needed to, and the fact that I had a lack of sexual history that didn't seem to bother him wasn't lost on me at all. He had apparently defiled a nurse in Boston that got him kicked out of his program there, and then when he hit Forks Community Hospital, he proceeded to fuck himself through a lot of the nursing staff and one bitchy doctor, as far as I knew. What the fuck was_ I_ doing with him?

As I worked my way around the window frame, I contemplated what the hell I was getting into. I knew I loved him, and I'd agreed to marry him. That was just abso-fucking-lutely crazy, wasn't it? I had a trainload of baggage that came with me and Jax, but he brought the entire Space Station with him. God, it was daunting.

"Whatever is going through that beautiful mind of yours needs to stop right now. I can only imagine what it is, and I need you to look at the man I am now, not the man I was. I was broken and floundering and completely fucked up. That's a pure and simple fact that we both know. Since I've been with you, I'm not that guy. Well, I mean since I came back from Italy with Chelsea I'm not that guy. I don't want that life. I want this life. This is always what I wanted, even though I lost my way. You can't doubt me now, Bella. I can't handle it if you doubt me," he explained.

I plopped myself down on the floor to begin edging in the baseboard, and I thought about what he'd said. He was right. I couldn't judge him on his past. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt that he'd changed. I knew I'd changed, and he never seemed to judge me, though there wasn't a hell of a lot to judge as far as I was concerned.

"Talk to me, Beautiful. I know you're stewing all of this over in your mind. You're not regretting agreeing to marry me, are you? I know I didn't have a ring, but I'll rectify that come Monday. Now, what's wrong?" he asked as he dipped the roller into the paint tray again. He'd covered one wall and moved on to another.

I had to ask myself one question as I sat there on the floor of the room that would be his daughter's …could you paint over your past? Could you just put a coat of primer over everything that at a lover had done? Over _everyone_ a lover had done? That was the great big question hanging out there. Could I put a coat of "Killz" over his past? It was supposed to cover the ugly and kill any mold that might come with it. Could it cover Jane Volturi and erase her from his life? Or any of the others, for that matter? That was the question I needed to ask myself.

"I'm just thinking about Dr. Sex Hair. I know that you've been to hell and back, but there're still those nurses and your reputation with fucking a lot of them. I kind of worry that you'll get tired of me and you'll go in search of something new," I answered as I scooted along the floor to the other wall.

He put the roller into the paint tray and sat down next to me. I handed him a clean brush, and he smiled at me, which nearly made me lose my train of thought. I needed to stay on the tracks because it was important to know he wasn't going to tire of me and move on. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened to a woman, and the way the fates had shit on me in the past, it would figure that something like that would happen to me.

"You know, I don't think there's another woman on this planet that will drive me more insane than you? It's a good thing, trust me, but goddamn, you drive me crazy. I. Love. You. I've never had more than a thank you pass from my lips with regard to the five nurses at the hospital that I've been with. Yes, it's been five, and I'm not proud of it, but that's the number. It's not thirty-three, and it's been completely empty.

"I know that the gossip has the number far higher, and I know that you listened to that shit when you worked there, but it was nothing like that. I'm not sure what to do to convince you that I love you, and you're it for me and last night was the most incredible night of my life, only surpassing the night before it, but that's what I feel. Tell me what I can do to make this right because I don't want you to run away because you're worried that I'll move onto someone else. That's not going to fucking happen, by the way," he replied.

Well, hell, trust had to start somewhere, right? "Okay, I'll just let it go as best I can. I'm relieved it wasn't thirty-three, so I guess five is a number I can live with. Now, one last question before we pretend that you lived like a monk after you lost Gianna. What happened with the nurse in Boston that got you kicked out of the program?" I asked.

He rose from the floor and closed the bedroom door, and he sat back down next to me, leaning in close and kissing my cheek. "Okay. Her name was Tara. She was a nurse in the ER, and we hooked up a few times when we were both working nights. It wasn't anything serious, and when she tried to make it serious, I quit seeing her. She got pissed off and went to the Director of Nursing and filed a sexual harassment complaint against me, saying that I told her if she didn't have sex with me, I'd get her fired. I never did anything like that, as I hope you know. So, the D.O.N. happened to be her cousin, and I didn't have a fucking chance in hell of getting a fair shake. I got kicked out to save the hospital a lawsuit, and I ended up coming back here where Mom took pity on my ass and let me into the program on probation. I've fucked that up a time or two, but I'm the model employee now. So?" he asked.

"Okay. It's out in the open and it's not something I'm going to worry about. Now, we'll finish this and I'll shower and heat up dinner so Mom can go home. I think she and Dad are going to the movies or something," I told him. He pulled the brush from my hand and pulled me down on the floor with him, kissing me gently before he gave me the full onslaught of his mouth on mine.

When his tongue traced along my top lip, my arms wrapped around his neck and I opened my mouth, sucking his tongue inside. We were on our sides and he pulled my left leg up and hitched it over his hip, pulling my lower body flush with his. I could feel him hard against me, and I knew that I was dripping wet for him. I ground my center against his thigh that had found its way between my legs, and we both moaned as his hand worked its way under my bra and pinched my left nipple.

"_Wait, Jax, we should knock_," we both heard Chelsea instruct outside the bedroom door.

Edward pulled away and looked into my eyes. "This is going to be for the rest of our lives, isn't it?" he asked as we quickly righted our clothes and sat up.

"Well, for ten years with Chelsea, and then another four with Jax, if they both go to college at eighteen," I answered as I quickly picked up the paint brush when we heard the two knocking at the door.

As he rose from the floor to open the door, he whispered, "It'll be longer than that once we have one of our own," and then he opened the door.

"Ladies?" he asked before I could comment.

"We wanna help," Jax announced as she strolled into the room with her arms crossed over her chest while Chelsea stood by the doorway looking embarrassed. I guessed she could tell that we were up to something because when I looked at Edward, his shirt was half open and half untucked, and his hair was wild. I was sure I didn't look much better and I knew my face was on fire.

"Well, come on in and grab a brush," I announced. It was fitting that it was a family project, and it wasn't as if they could do any damage. It was just primer and the floor was completely covered.

For the next two hours, we finished priming the walls, and when we were done, we put a fan in the room and closed the door. The game plan was that I'd paint the next day, which prompted Edward to volunteer to take the girls to the movies, and then Sunday, we'd move the furniture back into the room. We'd tackle Jax's room after Christmas, which didn't make her happy, but when I explained how much more time it would take, she seemed to acquiesce.

That night, we had leftovers for dinner and watched a Christmas movie about a cow. Well, the girls watched the movie. Edward and I snuck kisses and grabs when they weren't looking, and when they went to bed, we finished what we'd started in Chelsea's room earlier in the day. Well, except for the fact that it was in the shower and he was pounding into me like he was nailing a board. Once I let go around him, he smirked as he lowered me to the shower floor and then bent me forward, stroking into me from behind as he sucked on my shoulder, leaving a mark of which he was quite proud once we got out of the shower.

It was a great weekend, to say the least.

##

"_Mom is coming over to stay with the girls because I want to have dinner with you tonight. Unfortunately, it's going to have to be in the on-call room, but I'll order for us. Don't worry about cooking because I know you've got a full day. Don't forget to tell your architect friend that you're engaged,_" Edward left on my voicemail that Monday morning.

Jax and I had gone home on Sunday night, and I was picking her up from pre-school after I stopped working for the day. Esme was staying at Edward's house with Chelsea who had a week off of school due to her surgery. I'd made arrangements with Esme to share the week so that neither of us needed to miss a whole week of work, and I could tell that it made Edward very happy when we'd talked about it on Thanksgiving.

Now that it was behind us, I needed to start Christmas shopping, and I needed to start planning for us to move in with Edward and Chelsea. I wasn't sure how that would fly with my parents, Renee, Charlie and Billy, but I'd made the decision, and I was prepared to argue it like a Philadelphia lawyer.

"Momma!" Jax called as I walked into preschool to pick her up that Monday afternoon. She had on a paint smock, and her fingers were covered in different-colored paints. She had a beaming smile on her face, and I could only laugh. I walked over to the tiny plastic easel where she was finger painting, and I tried to figure out what the hell it was.

Jax's teacher, Leah Clearwater, a friend of Jake's and mine from whom I'd grown apart, walked over to us, giving me a careful eye. "Bella, Jax tells me that she's going to have a sister. Are you expecting or adopting?" she asked. Once again, I laughed at my daughter's interpretation of events.

"No. My boyfriend has an eight-year old daughter. That's who she's talking about," I answered. She laughed with me and looked at Jax's picture.

"Miss Jax, what is that?" she asked. My daughter, the ever-confident one, turned around with a look of disbelief on her face that we couldn't figure it out, and crossed her arms over her chest as she always did when she was about to scold someone.

"Miss Leah, it's my family. That's Momma and Redward and Chelsea and me," she announced. Okay, so they were stick figures. Maybe we should work on her artistic skills a little? They looked like flower stems to me.

"What are those two at the top?" I asked as I pointed to two blobs in the sky.

"That's my daddy and that's Chelsea's momma. They're in heaven watching us," she announced as if it should have been painfully obvious to us. Leah looked at me with the pity head tilt, but I could only smile at her. I thought it was sweet that Jax thought about including Gianna and Jacob in our family. Without the two of them, we wouldn't have the family that we had.

"That's very nice, Jax. We'll take it home and put it on the refrigerator. Now, go over to the sink and have Seth help you clean up because we need to get going. You're going to Edward's tonight to have dinner with Chelsea and Esme while I go to the hospital and have dinner with Edward," I informed her. She scrambled away and I laughed when I saw her put her little paint-covered hand on Seth's rear to get his attention. I hoped the paint would come out or he was going to get a lot of strange looks with a tiny handprint on the ass of his jeans.

"So, are things serious with you and this guy? Embry told us that you were dating someone, but I thought he left you or something. I didn't realize he was back in the picture," Leah quizzed.

Everyone on the reservation felt like they had some right to make statements regarding my life which was why I stopped going down there after Billy moved, but apparently, my absence hadn't slowed down the wheels of gossip. It was nearly as bad as the hospital.

"He was in Italy bringing his daughter home, and yes, we're together. It's very serious, so could you just put that on the grapevine down there? I really don't know why you're all so fascinated with my personal life, but I'd really like it to stop. I'm moving on in my life, and I'm going to be making some changes of which I'm sure none of you will approve, but at the end of the day, the only person's opinion and well-being I worry about is that little girl right there. I know that Jacob was your friend, and I'm sure that you miss him too, but as Billy, my parents, and a very qualified psychiatrist have told me, he's not coming back and it's time for me to live my life again," I preached. I hoped I'd only have to say it once, because I didn't want to have to canvas the neighborhood and tell everyone on the reservation the same thing.

She stood there for a minute looking at me, and then a smile crept onto her face. "It's about damn time. You shouldn't be alone, and Jax needs a father-figure in her life. I'm very happy for you, and I'll make sure to spread the news so that people won't bother you. Please, though, come down and visit. Just because Jacob and Billy aren't there any longer, it doesn't mean that we don't miss you, okay?" she asked as she pulled me into a hug.

Color me shocked. She was quite a tough cookie, and if she was supportive, I was pretty sure I wouldn't have any problems with anyone else. It was actually a huge relief, considering the next thing that they'd hear about us was that Edward and I were getting married and Jax and I were going to move in with him. I was pretty sure not _everyone_ would be happy about that news.

_**\\\**_

_**E/N: So, we got some answers and final closure for Bella. This chapter, while not really action packed, does set the stage for the rest of the story…which, I promise, is going to be a lot less angsty. So, please stay tuned.**_

_**Please leave me some love!**_

_**Till next time…xoxo.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**_A/N: Happy Wednesday! It's a bleak day here on the east coast, but hopefully, you'll give me a lot of reviews to cheer me up. Thanks for the ones you've left so far...I appreciate them._**

**_SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended. I wonder what KStewart and RPatts think regarding the fact that the Fifty Shades Trilogy started as a Bella/Edward fanfiction story? Now that the movie rights have been sold, I'm dying to know who will play Domward!_**

**_\\\_**

16.

I walked down the hallway toward the on-call room and saw Emmett and Jasper sitting in chairs outside the door, one on each side. Both of them were playing with their phones, and Emmett had a strange look on his face. "What's up, docs?" I asked jokingly.

They both looked at me and only Jasper smiled. "We're guarding the door. You're late," Emmett accused. I looked at my watch and saw that I was about three minutes late, but that was because I stopped at the bakery in town and picked up a pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. Rosalie had held one back for me when I'd called her earlier, and she sent treats for Jasper and Emmett as well.

"Obviously, your wife called you and told you that I had something for you?" I surmised. Being denied food was the only thing that would ever upset Emmett McCarty. He nodded and held out his hands and I dropped a small bag into it that had his name on it. I reached over and handed the other one to Jasper who was licking his lips, and I laughed as I watched the two of them tear into the bags like little boys.

"Good job, Blacksheep. Dismissed," Emmett announced as he reached up and opened the door to the on-call room for me. Those two were a piece of work and all I could do was laugh at them and shake my head.

I laughed until I walked into the room and saw Edward standing inside in a suit. The room was lit by candles, and there were flowers on the table. There was actually a table cloth, and it was set with stemware and silverware and china. I was certain that my mouth was hanging open. It was quite a surprise.

"Dr. Cullen, what's all this?" I asked as I set the box with the cheesecake on the corner of the table. He walked around to where I was standing and helped me take off my coat, tossing it on the top bunk to the left of the table.

"This is the romantic dinner I was supposed to take you on Saturday night before I got called into the emergency room for that accident. I'm sorry about that, but I'm afraid that's something you'll kind of have to adjust to, love," he apologized.

We were just about to leave the house on Saturday night to go to Port Angeles for a romantic dinner when he was paged to the hospital. I ended up going back to Carlisle and Esme's to get the girls and had a lovely dinner with them.

Esme did, however, quiz me about what was going on with Edward and me like I was in a Congressional hearing. We hadn't decided when to tell them about our engagement and our plans, so I unfortunately had to tell her a little lie that we were taking it slow. I felt horrible lying to her, but it wouldn't be the first time I'd done it since I'd known the woman. When I told Edward, he laughed and said that she'd just be that much more excited when we told them the truth.

That was when it hit me that I was going to be marrying a doctor. My life had changed so substantially from what I ever thought it would be. I had a lucrative business and a great partner in Alice, and we were making a lot of money from the jobs that Peter sent our way.

I was no longer working in the morgue at a crappy job, and I wasn't alone in raising my daughter. I was engaged to a wonderful man who loved my daughter and who had one of his own who I loved just as much. It wasn't anything I'd have believed if a fortune teller had told me it was my future, but there it was, staring at me with the biggest crooked smile on his face and love in his eyes. I was quite fortunate.

"So, I hope you're hungry. I had Italian catered from _Bella Luna_ in Port Angeles. I had to feed McCarty and Whitlock as well to get them to guard the door so we wouldn't be interrupted. Come here and give me a kiss, at least. Is something wrong?" he asked. I guess the look on my face had him worried, but he needn't have been.

I walked over to where he was standing and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. I brushed my lips against his gently as his arms wrapped around my waist, and then I deepened the kiss to show him just how great everything really was in my life. Our tongues danced a sensual dance with each other as we stood in that stupid on-call room, and I was fighting to keep the tears from my eyes because my heart was exploding with happiness.

I pulled away when breathing became absolutely necessary and looking into his eyes. "There's absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, everything is so perfectly right that I can't believe it's not a dream. I love you so much," I told him as I placed my head against his chest and hugged him tighter.

"God, I want to make love to you right now, but with those two idiots out there, I know that it would be tweeted before I was ever inside of you. I'll be home in the morning at 8:00. What time will you be over?" he asked as his hands gently rubbed my back.

I pulled away and took a deep breath, trying to rein in the hormones before we embarrassed the shit out of ourselves, and replied, "How about I go home and pack a bag and just stay at your place tonight so that I'll be there when you get home in the morning. I'll make you breakfast, and then maybe we can get the girls interested in something and sneak upstairs for a little slap and tickle?"

He laughed. "That'd be perfect. Now, sit and let's eat while it's still hot," he ordered. He pulled out a chair and I dropped into it, reaching for my napkin. He walked over to the microwave and pulled out two containers and placed them on the table, opening them with a grand flourish.

"So, are you dressed like a waiter for a reason?" I teased, curious for the explanation of the suit. He looked incredible, but the scrubs were really fucking sexy on him and I was looking forward to _that_ visual all day.

"You wound me, Mrs. Black. I dressed up for my sexy fiancée, who, once again, didn't disappoint. So, what did O'Rourke say today when you told him that you're off the market?" he asked as he served up my favorite mushroom ravioli in a creamy brown butter sauce. It was incredible.

I wasn't looking forward to the confession I was going to have to make, but I couldn't lie to him. "Um, actually, it didn't come up. We were busy going over the budget for the new motel that's being built in Sequim and there wasn't really an opportunity to tactfully bring it up. I'll tell him after we tell our family and friends," I replied without looking up.

Edward poured us each a soda and then served himself some veal parmesan from the other container. "So, you didn't tell him that we're engaged? Well, I'll fix that," he replied. I dug into my food without another word, and suddenly, my fork was out of my hand and my chair was turned to face him and he was down on one knee in front of me with a small black box.

"You've already agreed, so this is merely a formality. Isabella Swan Black, will you please marry me?" he asked popping open the box to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring inside. He pulled it out of the box and placed it on my finger where it fit perfectly.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for my answer?" I asked with a laugh.

"Don't have to. You've already said yes. Now, I expect that ring to stay there until you take it off on our wedding day so that I can place your wedding band on that finger. We'll tell the parents tomorrow night. We can talk to the girls in the morning after I make your eyes roll back in your head, and then we'll have the parents over tomorrow night for dinner. Just so you know, I already called Billy and got his blessing on our engagement. He wants us to visit this weekend," he told me as he looked into my eyes.

I laughed as I pulled him in to kiss him again. When we broke the kiss, he smiled and sat back down in his seat to eat his dinner. "You're quite organized, Dr. Cullen. So on to another topic. How will things work for Christmas? This is Chelsea's first Christmas with you, and if you two want to spend it with your parents, I understand. I usually have my parents over to my place on Christmas Eve, and then Mom, Dad and I go down to the reservation on Christmas Day. Now that Billy doesn't live there anymore, I'm not sure what we'll do, but I want you and Chelsea to do what you'd like to do. We'll have a lot of Christmases in the future. This one should be special for the two of you," I explained.

I'd thought about it, and I decided that the right thing to do would be to allow them time alone for their first Christmas together. They were trying to adjust to each other, and I thought that it would be good for the Cullens to introduce Chelsea to their Christmas traditions without the added distraction of me and my energizer bunny. Based on the screwed up, pissed off, look on my fiancé's face, he had some very distinct thoughts on the matter that he was going to share.

"Oh, _really_? That's an interesting idea, but that's not what's going to happen. You and Jax are our family, and it wouldn't be a family Christmas without you. We can have the whole family over on Christmas Day, Billy included, but on Christmas Eve, it should just be the four of us. We're beginning our lives together, and it starts now, not later. I would be so damn disappointed if I didn't get to see Jax open her gifts on Christmas morning, and I knew Chelsea would as well, so we'll all be together. Based on your daughter's bubbly personality on any given day, I can only imagine how she is on Christmas morning, and if you think I want to miss that, we need to have you evaluated for possible brain damage," he demanded. Fuck, he already knew I was crazy, so why he'd want the diagnosis confirmed was a surprise.

"So, do you like the ring or would you rather have something else? Chelsea and I went to the jewelry store today and found it. I had to pay the guy a little extra to get it sized this afternoon, and then I had to bribe Alice to go pick it up for me, but if you'd like something else, I'll take you there on Thursday when I'm off," he offered.

I looked at the ring and it was perfect. It was a simple emerald cut diamond of a substantial size, and I had no desire for another ring. I was curious about one thing, though. "I love it, but how'd you know what size to get?" I asked. He blushed a little and took a drink of his soda, obviously stalling.

Once he swallowed, he cleared his throat and took my right hand, caressing my knuckles with his thumb. "I, uh, sort of nosed through your jewelry box the last time I was at your house and measured your wedding band. I'm sorry I went into your things without your permission, but it was a necessary violation of your personal space," he answered. I just laughed.

"I've got no secrets. Feel free to nose around any time you'd like. So, I thought that maybe Jax and I would plan to move in after the holidays," I suggested.

"Actually, I've got some good news for you. Someone wants to rent your house. The catch is that they need it to be furnished and they want to be in before Christmas. I'd say that we can start packing your things this weekend and move you in as soon as possible," he enlightened.

"Who?" I asked. I was surprised that he'd found someone. I was pretty sure that my place would sit empty for a while, and I wasn't sure what I'd do with my furniture because Edward's place was full. I thought I'd have to sell it all, and I had no idea what to do with Jake's car. I wasn't so sure I could be out as quickly as he had mentioned.

"Jasper and Alice. Actually, Jasper wants to buy it, but I told him I wasn't sure that you wanted to sell it. Anyway, they'd like to be settled before the holidays," he replied. That was interesting news.

"Well, I guess I need to talk to Dr. Whitlock. Okay, I suppose we'll start packing our shit this week. Now, would you like some dessert?" I asked as we finished our dinner. I looked at my watch and saw that he only had another twenty minutes left on his dinner break, and I was sorry that our dinner would be over, but knowing that he'd be home…to the place that would be _our_ home…in about twelve hours would make it bearable.

"Actually, I'd like a piece to have later and I'd like to have you for my dessert...well, a chaste version, anyway, considering the two morons listening outside the door," Edward announced loudly. We heard Jasper and Emmett laughing which led me to believe that they were, indeed, listening.

I got up from my chair and walked around, hopping onto Edward's lap. "I guess I'll have to be quiet," I whispered. I kissed him firmly on his beautiful mouth and I felt his hand sweep up my thigh under my skirt. He was heading north, so to speak, and I wasn't planning to stop him as I opened my legs a little wider to reveal that I'd thought ahead and left the panties in my car.

When he found bare skin, he didn't hesitate to slip a finger inside me and then pull away. "Please tell me you weren't like this all day. Please tell me you did this just before you got here," he pleaded. I smirked at him.

"I don't make a habit of running around town without panties. My panties are in my computer bag in my car. It was a hopeful decision that caused me to come in here commando," I whispered as I loosened his tie and kissed along his jaw.

"Fuck, you're the smartest woman I've ever met, and clearly, you're a good planner. God, I want to fuck you so much. Do you think you can be quiet?" he asked. I eagerly nodded my head as he pulled his fingers out of me, licking them as I'd seen him do before. Hey, a quick and dirty fuck in the on-call room with my hot fiancé sounded like the perfect way to end the night.

He stood up and unbuckled his belt, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers and sliding them down with his boxers. He pulled up his dress-shirt's tails and sat back down, pulling me closer and pushing up my skirt at the same time. He pulled me onto his thighs and positioned his hard cock at my center, pulling me onto it. We both gasped at the sensation.

"Shit. That's perfect," he whispered as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me harder onto him. Luckily, I could use my legs to help me move on him, and I didn't think twice about bracing my feet on the floor and moving hard. God, it felt good.

"I promise…tomorrow…slower," he gasped against my mouth. Hell, I was looking forward to it, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with what the hell we were doing at that point. It was exciting because anyone could come in…well, Emmett or Jasper could come in…at any time and catch us. It was one of the boldest things I'd ever done.

My body was winding up for release, and I didn't hesitate to reach down between us and circle my clit because at the pace we were going, I was pretty sure he was almost there. "Yeah, baby, touch yourself. Fuck, yesss," he hissed. I felt myself let go as he pulsed inside of me, feeling him so deeply that I made a note to myself that the position would be perfect in the kitchen or his office at the house for a little fun sometime.

I pulled away and looked at his face. His eyes were closed, and he had a smile on his face. "God, that was incredible," I whispered before I kissed him again.

Suddenly, there was a commotion outside the room, and we both froze. "You can't wait five fucking minutes?" I heard Emmett remark loudly.

"It's the fucking on-call room. Who's in there?" I heard snapped at him. I didn't recognize the voice, but based on the scrambling that Edward was doing, he did. He quickly moved me off of him and whipped up his pants, leading me into the bathroom off to the side to clean up.

"Who's that?" I whispered.

"Caius. I forgot that he's on at 7:00. I'm sorry, honey," he apologized. Hey, I wasn't embarrassed about it, and I hoped that he wasn't.

"Shit, I don't care. He's fucked in there before, so it shouldn't be a surprise that anyone else has. You aren't embarrassed at being caught, are you?" I asked as I tried to discreetly clean myself up. He quickly changed into his scrubs after he was finished cleaning up, and I hung up his suit to take with me.

"Jeez, I don't wanna think about how many people have fucked in there. Next time, we'll go to the dictation room. That door has a lock," he responded as I washed my hands. I laughed.

We walked out of the bathroom just as Simmons strolled inside taking in the sight before him. There was no way he didn't know what we'd been doing in the room, and the smirk on his face let me know that he was going to tweet that shit whether Edward wanted him to or not.

"Ah, Cullen. I should have known based on the watch dogs sitting outside. Black? I didn't realize that you were working here again," Simmons taunted.

"I don't, actually. I'm here having dinner with Dr. Cullen. How's Dr. Volturi?" I sniped back. Edward was cleaning up the dinner mess, and I was anxious to get the hell out of there because I was sure that my face was as red as the roses on the table, but, seriously, fuck Caius Simmons. He was an asshole, and I wasn't going to let him intimidate me.

"I see. So, you're the latest conquest of our randy Dr. Cullen? A lot of the other doctors and techs around the hospital are going to be sad that you became the next notch on his proverbial bedpost. There was actually a pool on you before you left, you know. You were like the ultimate score," he remarked.

"I'd suggest you mind your manners, Simmons. Bella's my fiancée and I don't appreciate that kind of talk about her," Edward snapped as he walked around the table and stood between me and Simmons. I didn't want him to get into trouble, but I did appreciate him sticking up for me. I also knew that once it hit the 'circuit' that Dr. Edward Cullen was off the market, our families would find out before we could tell them.

"Wait, what? You're engaged?" Simmons asked with wide eyes. Yeah, I guess that would be the hottest news at the hospital. I decided to take the matter in hand, so to speak.

"Dr. Simmons, I'll give you a piece of pumpkin cheesecake from Rosie's Bakery if it will buy your silence for twenty-four hours. We've just gotten engaged, and we haven't told our families yet. This time tomorrow night, the news is all yours to tweet exclusively. What do you say?" I asked as I flipped open the pink box and pulled one of the clean dessert plates from the table.

Once the smell wafted through the air, I could tell I had him. Rosalie had bought and opened a bakery in town when the housing market had stalled, and her baked goods were known far and wide and everyone loved them. She only made a select number of pumpkin cheesecakes between Halloween and Christmas, but I was able to get her to hold one for me, and it was truly a treat that I could see he didn't want to pass up.

"She's a smart cookie, Cullen. Good for you for catching her. You're a lucky man. I'll give you until 8:00 PM tomorrow night before the tweet goes out. Now, I'd like a big slice," Simmons bargained. I laughed and grabbed a knife. You caught more flies with honey…and all of that business.

Edward laughed and finished cleaning up the mess, and then he walked me out to my car, carrying the flowers and placing them on the backseat floorboard. It was then that I remembered that I had to face Esme when I got back to Platte House, and he'd asked me not to take the ring off so I had a bit of a problem.

"What should I do about my ring when I get home? If we're going to talk to everyone tomorrow, I'm going to have to take it off," I reminded.

"Shit. Okay, but I want to see it there when I get home tomorrow morning. We'll talk to the girls first thing over breakfast, okay? I love you so much. Thank you for coming tonight," he replied.

"Oh, thank _you_ for coming in me…I love you too, honey. I'll see you in the morning," I responded sarcastically. He laughed and kissed me again, and he walked back into the building. It had been a beautiful hour, and I was looking forward to many more stolen hours like it in the future…him being a doctor and all.

##

I was standing at the stove fixing French toast while Jax and Chelsea were getting dressed for the day. Since Chelsea was out of school for the week, I was going to keep Jax out of pre-school that day so that the two of them could spend time together. They got along so well, it was uncanny, and I credited it to Chelsea, because my daughter was completely spoiled and Chelsea gave into her all of the time.

I'd need to address it, but I wasn't going to do it that morning because as soon as Edward got home from the hospital, we had some big news to share with the two of them, and I didn't want anyone upset before we told them.

Jax came skipping into the kitchen with Chelsea slowly walking behind her, still feeling her stitches. Jax was carrying a big pad of paper and Chelsea had a pencil. I turned from the stove and smiled at them. "What's up, girls?" I asked, so happy that I wanted to burst.

"Mesme said we should write our letters," Jax replied as she tore a sheet of paper from the pad and handed it to Chelsea with a "me first" tossed in.

"Letters?" I asked as I looked at the grin…Edward's grin…on Chelsea's face.

"Nana said we should write our letters to Santa about what we want for Christmas," Chelsea replied with a wink which led me to believe that she didn't believe in Santa. I didn't know if it was the age or if she'd ever had the luxury of believing in Santa, but for Jax's sake, I was happy she wasn't giving it away.

"Oh, well, that's probably a good idea," I responded, winking at Chelsea in acknowledgement. It broke my heart a little because every child should have the fantasy of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, but I decided that I'd talk to Chelsea about it when Jax wasn't around.

Just then, I heard the car in the garage, and I smiled. Edward was home, and we were going to tell them our news. I prayed it would be happy news for them. I wasn't sure if Jax would understand it, but I was sure that all I had to do was mention "wedding" and she'd be all over it.

"So, Jaxie, what do you want from Santa?" Chelsea asked. Apparently, she was the scribe for the two of them.

"Um, I want a pink hat and gloves. I want a new Barbie. Oh, I want the one with the pony. I want Uno Moo. I want…" Jax continued. I saw Chelsea writing feverishly, and I turned my head to laugh. My daughter had spent far too much time with Alice Brandon and a toy catalogue. I stopped listening until I heard, "…and I want Redward to be my daddy."

I turned to look over my shoulder and saw Edward standing in the doorway behind Jax's chair with a huge smile on his face. He'd heard what I'd heard, and I was certain that I saw a tear on his cheek. I knew I was crying. I reached into the pocket of my hoodie and slipped my engagement ring on my finger and walked over to where he stood.

"I guess we have nothing to worry about?" I whispered. He kissed me and nodded, dropping his duffel to make his presence known.

"Daddy!" Chelsea exclaimed.

Jax turned in her chair and smiled. "Did you help a momma have a baby?" she asked. She was fascinated by the fact that he was in his OB rotation, and I was actually curious about what his specialty was going to be. I'd have to talk to him about it another time, but I really wondered about it because he'd never mentioned that he'd made a decision.

He scooped up Jax and walked over to where Chelsea sat, kissing her on the top of the head. "I actually delivered twins early this morning. It was a little boy and a little girl. What are you two doing?" he asked as he looked at the paper in front of Chelsea with a smile.

"We're writing our letters," Jax announced as she twisted her little hand in the hair at the back of his neck. She had this weird thing about her that she loved to play with people's hair, and apparently, she liked Edward's hair as much as I did.

"That's quite a list, Miss Black," he joked as he blew a raspberry against her cheek causing her to dissolve into giggles.

"Redward, stop," she ordered. He tickled her until she squealed and wiggled from his arms, and then she ran over to the other side of the table to get away from him.

"How do you feel, sweetheart?" he asked as he tilted Chelsea's beautiful face up to look at him.

"I'm fine, Daddy. How was work?" she asked. He leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead and walked over to the coffee maker, pouring himself a cup and sitting down.

"Actually, after the twins were delivered, I got to sleep for most of the rest of my shift, so I'm not even tired. Now, Chels, what's on your list for Santa?" he asked. She looked at me with a worried look, and I nodded to her to play along.

I knew he'd be heartbroken if he knew she didn't believe in Santa, so I was actually going to get her alone and ask her to give him just one Christmas with her pretending to believe before we broke the news to him that she knew the truth.

She smiled sweetly and accepted the sheet of paper that Jax handed her. "Um, let's see. I'd like an iPod Nano, and a few books," she began writing furiously without speaking again. I continued to cook breakfast, pulling eggs out of the fridge to make something with protein to counteract the carbs from the French toast, and just as I was putting them into a bowl, Chelsea sat up and perused her list once again.

"Okay, enough of lists for right now. Time to eat," I announced as I plated up breakfast for the girls. I made Edward a huge plate, assuming he was just as hungry as he always was when he got home from the hospital, and I settled into a chair across from him with a plate of my own.

Chelsea handed him her list as she dug into her breakfast while I cut up Jax's French toast. "Well, I can tell you both that you'll get one thing on your list before Christmas. Some things aren't up to Santa, but you're both lucky that someone else can take care of it. Jacqueline Renee, Chelsea Carlotta, I can tell you that I've taken care of um, number ten on your list, Jax, and number four on your list, Chels. Bella and I are very excited to tell you that we're getting married," he announced. Yeah, I choked on my bite of eggs. I had no idea that Chelsea had asked for the same thing that Jax had asked for.

"Can I see Chelsea's list?" I asked.

Edward handed it to me, and I saw that Chelsea had "a family" on her list and it made me cry. I looked at the two girls and saw the look of surprise on Chelsea's face. Jax, of course, had no idea what we were talking about.

"Really?" Chelsea asked. I nodded and she sprung from her chair and hugged me.

"What'samatter?" Jax asked. Edward walked over to her chair and picked her up from her booster and carried her back to his chair, perching her on his lap.

"Miss Black, there is going to be a wedding and you get to wear your white blanket and when it's over I will be your daddy. Is that okay with you?" Edward explained. That set her off. He gave him a syrupy kiss and bounced in his lap like she was hopped up on caffeine.

"Can I call you Daddy like Chelsea does?" Jax asked him as Chelsea hung on my neck. I felt moisture, and pulled her away, seeing her crying. I pulled her onto my lap and held her, not sure why she was crying.

"You most certainly can. Now, Chels, honey, why are you crying?" he asked as he rested his chin on top of Jax's head while she went back to eating from his plate. Maybe I should have asked Jasper to test Jax for ADD because nothing seemed to hold her attention for very long, and I was certain the reference to her 'white blanket' would send her flying in all kinds of directions, but she was content to eat her breakfast on Edward's lap.

"I'm happy, Daddy. I didn't ever think I'd have a little sister and a mother and a father. Pappa and Nonna didn't like it when I asked about my father or mother. I think that's why they sent me away to school. Sister Ignatius told me that I didn't have a mother or a father and I should stop praying for it, so I gave up hope. I guess she was wrong," Chelsea explained. I kissed her cheek and released her to eat her breakfast.

"Yes, sweetheart, she was very wrong," Edward replied as he placed Jax back in her booster to eat her own breakfast. He sat down and dug back into his without one second's thought that my daughter had been eating his eggs with her little hands. I laughed.

The rest of breakfast was spent talking about Christmas and getting a tree. Chelsea had seen Christmas trees, but she'd never decorated one, and that was going to be remedied as soon as we could get to my house and get my Christmas decorations from my attic.

Once we were all finished, I stated, "Edward, go wash the hospital off of you and Jax you go with him and get washed up. Chelsea and I will clean this up."

Edward swung Jax up on his shoulders and carried her upstairs, leaving Chelsea with me. "So, are you okay with this, really?" I asked.

"I'm more than okay with this. I've always wondered about my mother," she remarked as she carried dishes to the sink.

That caused me some concern. "Have you never seen pictures of her?" I asked.

"Once, at Nonna's house in Rome. She looked like she was very pretty," Chelsea replied as she put the butter and the orange juice in the refrigerator.

I dried my hands from where I was rinsing the dishes for the dishwasher and walked over to the house phone, picking it up and calling Esme. We needed to rectify something immediately, and Esme had exactly what we needed, plus, Chelsea and I could organize her photos and present them to her for Christmas in albums. It was a great idea.

"Hello?" Esme sang through the line which led me to believe that the woman never looked at the caller ID.

"Hi, Esme. How are you?" I asked, making small talk.

"Oh, dear, we're great. We're looking forward to dinner. I made a chocolate cake for tonight. Is there anything else I can bring?" she asked. Perfect set up.

"Actually, can you bring that box of photos that you have? Chelsea hasn't seen the pictures of Gianna and Edward and her when she was a baby. I think she needs to see them," I announced.

"She hasn't? Oh, shame on us. Of course, I'll bring it. I didn't even think about it. What time should we be over?" she asked sounding upset.

"Esme, don't beat yourself up about it. Who would have thought that Didi and Finn wouldn't show her any pictures of her family? Don't worry about it. We'll see you at 6:00 for cocktails," I comforted.

"I guess you're right, but that still doesn't make it acceptable. Okay, honey, we'll see you tonight," she replied. We said good-bye and hung up.

"So, we'll get you some pictures of your mom and dad and you when you were a tiny little baby. You were absolutely beautiful, as was your mother, so don't you worry about it. Now, what about Santa? Did you ever believe in Santa, or did they take that away from you as well?" I asked sounding a lot more aggravated than I intended.

"No, I never really had a regular Christmas like my friends from school. I'm excited this year. Don't worry, I won't tell Jaxie about Santa," she answered.

I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Can I ask a favor?"

"Sure," she responded.

"Just this year, can you pretend for your daddy, too? He seems to think that you still believe, and well, I think he'd be disappointed if he couldn't play Santa for you. Can you just pretend this year for him? I'll look at is as your gift to me," I whispered.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and smiled. "You really love my dad, don't you?" she asked.

"With all my heart, honey," I answered as I placed my arm around her shoulders as we stood at the sink.

"I love you, Mom," she announced causing me to tear up so much that I couldn't see the look on her face.

"I love you, too, daughter," I whispered as I hugged her. It was a wonderful moment, and I'd remember it for the rest of my life.

\\\

_**Please let me know what you think.**_

_**Till next time...xoxo**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Technically, when I posted this, it was Wednesday : ). It's Christmas in April, and I hope you enjoy it.**_

_**No copyright infringement on Ms. Meyer whatsoever.**_

_**\\\**_

17.

"Okay, remember, we have to keep the secret until everyone gets here," Edward announced to mostly Jax who was bouncing off the walls. The girls looked adorable in their dresses, and they'd both helped me make two lasagnas and salad. We were all excited and we'd been practicing how the girls would tell the grandparents about the engagement.

Edward and I had actually slipped upstairs while the two of them were coloring in a Christmas coloring book to give pictures to the grandparents to mark the occasion. I didn't appreciate him cupping his hand over my mouth as he fucked me against the closet wall, but he reminded me that any sound from me would bring the two of them running, so I didn't bitch too much.

Of course, Chelsea's pictures were lovely. She loved painting, coloring, and had a real flare for all things artistic. I was determined that we'd get her an art kit for Christmas, and we'd nurture her love of painting because she was quite gifted.

Jax's pictures were…uh…colorful. My daughter had her own vision, which wasn't at all a surprise to any of us as we looked at a very suntanned Santa for the picture she was going to give to Billy. She stated that it was the same color as Big Pop's skin, so we all just laughed and let her go.

When the doorbell rang, the girls began to giggle with excitement. "You two are awful at secrets," I teased as I buttered the garlic bread.

"Mom, your ring," Chelsea reminded.

"Crap. Dad said I can't take it off. What should I do?" I asked like the eight-year old would have insight that clearly I didn't in that moment.

"Oven mitt?" she offered. The child was a genius. I slipped one on and continued with what I was doing.

I heard my parents greeting Edward, and Jax did as well because she grabbed Chelsea's hand and pulled her along. "Come on. They got Big Pop," she announced. My parents had gone to Port Angeles to get Billy. He was spending the weekend at their place, and I was excited to see him.

"Be careful with her," I warned Jax as she dragged Chelsea out of the kitchen. I could only shake my head.

A minute later, Billy rolled into the kitchen with Jax on one leg and Chelsea on the other. "It seems that I have two lovely young girls who wanted to go for a ride. How are you, daughter?" he asked as he smirked at me. He knew the news we were going to share because Edward had actually called him and asked him about it, which only served to make me smile.

I walked over to him and kissed his cheek, pulling first Jax, then Chelsea, from his lap. "Ladies, give me a minute to talk to Big Pop," I instructed. They both left and I smiled at Billy. He actually looked happy, which made me happy.

"So, how's the apartment?" I asked as I went back to what I was doing.

"It's great. The little gal who cleans on Wednesdays is gorgeous," he replied with a laugh. I cackled with him, and it only brought my dad into the kitchen.

"Bells, is Jax high on candy? She's geared up more than usual," he observed as he kissed my cheek. I looked at Billy, and we both laughed.

"She's always geared up about something. So, Dad, have you seen this housekeeper of Billy's?" I teased.

"Oh, Siobhan? Yeah. She's real cute. She's what? Forty?" Dad asked. Well, considering that Billy was fifty-six, nearly fifty-seven, I supposed a forty-year old woman would be a cute little gal.

"I'm telling," I teased as I spread the cheese on the bread and discreetly pulled off the oven mitt just as the doorbell rang.

"You tell your mother I said that and I'll tell Edward about the time that you fell into the mud at the lake because you were looking for Bigfoot," Dad threatened.

I'd forgotten about it. I was all of about nine, and my dad and Billy had told Jacob and me that Bigfoot was in the woods. We were getting out of the boat and Jacob yelled, 'there he is' and I slipped and went face first into the mud, mouth open. Of course, I puked and they laughed at me. My dad actually made me get into the water at the lake to keep from getting mud inside his cruiser. I decided he was mean, and I refused to speak to him, Jacob, and Billy for three days.

"That holds no power over me, old man. I'll tell Mom about the porn stash in the garage. Now, get everyone drinks since you're in here," I ordered. I heard the doorbell, and the girls squealed so I knew it was Esme and Carlisle. I slipped my hand into the pocket of my jeans and went to greet them.

"It's good to see you," I told them as I hugged the two of them with my right arm. They both hugged me back, and I could see the two girls vibrating in the background.

We ushered everyone into the living room, and Edward walked over to the keyboard that he'd set up in the corner. They'd practiced it all afternoon, and I was excited.

"Grandparents, the girls have a little song they'd like to sing before we have dinner," he announced. He ran his skilled fingers over the keys and played an intro. It was the music to "All I Want for Christmas," but the three of them had changed the words. I stood in the back with a camera because it was a sight I wanted to capture for posterity, so I stood still and watched them, ready to begin snapping pictures around the room once the sentiment sunk in.

_All we want for Christmas is a mom and dad_

_A mom and dad_

_A mom and dad_

_All we want for Christmas is a mom and dad_

_And we're lucky 'cause our wish came true_

As the three of them had choreographed, I walked over to the bench where Edward sat and wrapped my arms around his neck making sure that my left hand was very much in view. We both heard the gasps and he rose from the seat, pulling me into his arms and kissing me sweetly.

When we broke apart, the moms were crying and the dads were smiling, all three of them. We walked over to our family and hugged everyone, sharing tears and laughs and a lot of love, which only made me cry harder, especially when I saw that Edward was talking to Billy, and he seemed to be very happy with the news.

"I'm very, very happy about this," I heard Billy tell my father as they all hugged each other. That made me very, very happy about it because he was Jacob's father, and hell, I couldn't imagine anyone in his position being happy about it, but apparently, he and Edward had come to some sort of understanding which I'd find out about later.

We all settled into dinner, and I was grateful that no one was pressing us about wedding plans because I truly had no ideas about it. I just wanted to get through the holidays and the move. I didn't want to have to start worrying about flowers and tulle and food and guest lists. I knew there was no way that Esme Cullen would let us get by with what Jacob and I had done which was elope, but I didn't want a big production, so at the end of the night when she and Mom told me that we were going to have lunch on Friday, I knew what it was going to be about, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

The next day, we called our friends and told them about it, and I invited Rosalie and Alice to lunch on Friday, having filled them in on what I wanted for a wedding and hoping I had some cover with them. They were my friends, and I was certain that they'd help…at least I prayed they would.

##

"Jesus Christ, baby," Edward gasped as he moved off of me catching his breath. Yeah, we'd really done it up right that night. It was the middle of December, and we'd put up the tree and sent the girls to bed. Jax and I were moved in, and we were all living together. We'd had one round of sex on the couch with the lights on the tree providing the glow after we'd sent the girls to bed that Saturday night and made certain they were asleep.

Once we'd finished our wine, we went upstairs to our bedroom and went in for round two which began with me on my knees sucking his glorious cock. He stopped me and pulled me up, tossing me on the bed and jumping in next to me, wasting no time fucking me. We enjoyed our sex life just like two newly engaged people should.

"Dr. Cullen, is there a problem?" I asked as I snuggled into him, preparing myself to sleep in the wet spot. I'd sleep in the wet spot forever as long as I got to sleep next to him.

"A problem? Not at all. I'm just feeling all of my thirty-one, nearly thirty-two years. We need to talk about the fact that you're twenty-five and I'm almost thirty-two," he answered as he turned to face me, pulling my right leg up over his hip.

I'd turned twenty-five in the fall, and Jax was going to be four in February, and Chelsea would be nine in April. I wasn't sure what was on his mind, but the fact that he had just made my eyes roll back in my fucking head certainly made me give him my full attention.

"Okay, you've got the floor. I'm listening," I teased. He chuckled as he moved my hair off my face and smiled at me.

"I love you more than I ever thought myself capable, and I've got to ask you something. We've kind of joked about it and skirted around it, but I really want to hear your thoughts on the matter. We have the girls, and I love them both, but would you ever entertain the idea that we could have a baby together?" he asked. I was glad that the light was still on and the bedroom door was locked because I wanted to jump him again when he talked like that.

I took a deep breath because it was a subject I was very interested in discussing, but I didn't want to put the cart before the horse. We were just starting out and I was happy about it, but I really wanted to have another child, and I wanted it with him more than I wanted to breathe.

Our girls were wonderful and I loved them both unconditionally, and I was looking forward to a Christmas like I had when I was a child, but having a baby with Edward, a child that would be a combination of the two of us? God, I wanted it more than anything.

"Would I ever entertain the idea? You tell me when you want to start, and I'll call my gyno and get my IUD removed the next day," I answered. He laughed, and I knew why he laughed because he'd chosen his specialty and it was going to be OB/GYN.

He liked the OB part of it a lot more than the GYN part of it, but that was his choice. He loved delivering babies, and I had a very bad feeling that we wouldn't just be having one baby because, well, it turned out that Edward loved babies.

He'd confessed that he was a cuddler in the nursery at the hospital when he was on duty. He'd go into the nursery and rock babies and hold babies and cuddle babies and help feed babies, and I could most certainly tell that he had baby fever. I was pretty sure that it wouldn't go away, and I was sure we'd end up with ten kids because he loved kids, much like I did.

"You know, love, I can take it out," he announced. Okay, that was just a little creepy to me, and I pushed off of him and went to the bathroom.

When I came back out, I laid out a boundary. "I'll go to Dr. Hannigan to take care of it. I know you look at a lot of pussy every day, but we've gotta really keep that separate from our sex life. I love you, but I can't dwell on your specialty, okay?" I asked as I slipped back into bed.

"I never asked you before I chose it. Does it bother you?" he asked as he pulled me onto his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Did it bother me? Not in the big picture if I just thought about him delivering babies, but when I thought about the GYNO part of his practice, it kind of did, but I wasn't going to become the simpering, jealous wife.

He was a doctor and I was certain that he could keep his job separate from his home life, but he was a good looking guy…to say the least…and I knew women came onto him all the time. The fact that they'd be doing it naked was what bothered me.

"Well, I'm okay with the OB part of your specialty. The GYNO part bothers me a bit. I mean, you're not going to get tired of seeing…you know…pussy, right? You know what they say about a carpenter having the most rundown house on the block?" I asked sheepishly.

Hey, I thought it was a legitimate question at the time. I worked with fabrics and paint, and I didn't want to sleep with that shit so maybe he would start to feel the same way about pussy.

"Isabella, I promise you that I only chose my profession based on the fact that I love delivering babies. The gynecological part of the practice is out of necessity to provide a full-service practice with Jasper. I don't see my patients as sexual. It's clinical, I swear.

"Now, when I get you naked, that's a _completely_ different story. You're going to be my wife, and I want children with you. Before Chels had her appendicitis attack, I'd considered Peds but I'm not strong enough to deal with sick children like Jasper can. I learned that lesson the hard way.

"I'm the guy who wants to give the good news that there's a baby on the way and sit with the new parents when they hear the heartbeat for the first time. I promise you, I can separate our love life from my profession," he explained.

Well, I could live with that. Hell, someone had to deliver babies and if it was what he wanted to do, I'd be supportive. I loved him so much and hell, if he was a gynecologist, he'd know the female anatomy better than anyone, and I knew what the man could do to me in bed so I wasn't going to complain.

"I love you, and I'm really fine about it. It just kinda freaks me out some of the time, but I'm fine. So…a baby?" I asked, changing the subject somewhat.

"Oh, yes, one of many, I hope. I know we haven't talked about how big we want our family to be, but I'd love to have more than one with you," he answered as he stroked his hand up my naked thigh.

More than one meant more than three kids. Could I handle more than three? Chelsea was going to be nine in April, Jax would be four in February, and he wanted to start a family right away. Was I ready? Hell, I believed I was.

"Okay. I'll call my doctor and get the IUD removed after the first of the year, and we can start trying if you want to. We actually need to set a wedding date, you know. We might be getting ahead of ourselves," I joked.

"Fuck it all, we can get married tomorrow if you want. If you want a big wedding since you didn't have one with Jacob, I'm fine with that," he answered.

A big wedding? Well, I wasn't the virgin bride so I didn't see white in my future, but the opportunity for my father to walk me down an aisle to the man I loved was too tempting. Jake and I had gone against our families because they thought we were too young, but I wasn't too young any longer, and I wanted a little bit of a big deal about the fact that I was tying myself to a wonderful man for the rest of my life, God willing.

"I don't want a big wedding, but I want a wedding. Maybe just our families and our friends?" I asked.

"That's fine. When?" he asked. I could feel him hard against my knee so I knew we were going in for round three, and I didn't hate the idea at all.

"We'll figure out the time and place. I'll make it work, I promise," I answered as I climbed on top of his hard body, kissing his soft lips. I moved to his jaw and down his neck, smelling his scent, which completely drove me insane. There was a lot to be said for pheromones, and he had them and they drove me crazy.

I moved down his body, sweeping my tongue around first one nipple and then the other before he pulled me up to his mouth and kissed me solidly. God, he was so fucking good at kissing. He was so good at it that I lost the ability to speak or think. That wouldn't bode well for me in the future if I couldn't hold my own against him, but at that moment, I didn't give a crap.

I plunged myself down on top him and began to move as I continued to kiss his lips, jaw and neck. "God, baby, you're so tight," Edward whispered as I moved harder on top of him, feeling my clit brush against his happy trail, providing an incredible sensation that was driving me out of my mind.

"Jesus hell, I think I'm about to come again," I whispered loudly. He pulled me down and kissed me passionately on the lips, probably to shut me up, and I felt my body explode around him. Once I'd ridden…literally…out my orgasm, he flipped us over and continued stroking in and out of me at a fast pace.

Several minutes later, he sucked my left nipple into his mouth and moaned loudly, causing me to come again. I felt him twitch inside me and knew that he, too, had enjoyed the encounter as much as I had.

After a few minutes of sweet kisses and tender caresses, he moved off of me and lied down on his side next to me, running a finger down my nose as I tried to catch my breath. "Trust me love, I will never, as long as I draw a breath, tire of showing you how much I love you. You mean everything to me," he whispered against my shoulder as he pulled the covers over us. A lifetime of love with Edward Cullen and our two girls and whatever other children we were lucky to have together? Oh, yeah, I could definitely get used to it.

##

"Jacqueline Renee! Get away from that Christmas tree or I'm going to make you sit in a time out," I yelled. It was Christmas Eve afternoon, and Edward and Chelsea had gone to the store to pick up more wrapping paper. Jax was supposed to be coloring a picture as her gift to Chelsea, but I kept hearing the little bell that I'd put on the tree as an ornament ring, which meant that she was rooting under the tree again. That little bell was ingenious, and I owed it to my mother for giving me the idea.

Chelsea and I had put together four photo albums for Esme and Carlisle for Christmas. Edward was really sweet when he asked me if it bothered me that there were pictures of him, Gianna, and Chelsea in one of them, and I explained to him that it was a part of his life that was deserving of being memorialized. He then insisted that I include pictures of Jake and me and Jax and me, turning my own words back on me.

Unbeknownst to Chelsea, I'd made copies of the photos of her with her parents when she was a baby, and I put them into a photo album for her very own. When she'd looked at the pictures the first time, my heart melted as I watched her trace Gianna's young face.

I knew that it was a part of her life that she didn't remember at all, but that didn't mean that it should be forgotten. I'd encouraged Edward to tell her about her mother as often as he could because I felt the child deserved to know that she was truly loved and cherished by her biological mother just as much as me.

"When will they get back?" Jax asked from the doorway of the kitchen as I finished the potato casserole I'd made for dinner. We had a pre-cooked, honey-glazed ham that I was going to heat just before dinner, but I made the remainder of the sides after a family vote.

Edward had begged for a pumpkin cheesecake, so I asked Rosalie to give me the recipe as a Christmas gift. Bless her secretive heart…she made me two cheesecakes instead of divulging her secret recipe. I didn't really mind because it was one less thing I had to make.

"They should be back soon. Did you finish the picture so we can put it in the frame? After they get back, I'll help you wrap it," I told her.

"When can we open pwesents?" she whined as she pulled the step stool over to the counter to see what I was doing.

I sighed because I'd been answering the question all day long, and I was truly exhausted. "As I've told you ten times already, you can open one gift from Daddy and me tonight, and then tomorrow morning before we go to Nana's house, we'll open the rest of the gifts and whatever Santa brings, if he even bothers to come because really, you're not being a good girl," I chastised.

"_AM TOO!_" Jax yelled just as I heard the garage door. I was thanking God for reinforcements, whoever the hell they were.

I heard Chelsea's laughter as the back door opened, and I wanted to hug her because I knew she'd occupy Jax so I could finish what I needed to do that afternoon. I still had to make sides to take to Esme and Carlisle's house. My parents and Billy were actually invited as well, and I was quite pleased that both sides of the family got along so well.

"What's the yelling about?" Edward asked as he stepped inside with two shopping bags which earned him a cocked eyebrow from me. There were presents hidden all over the house for the girls, and based on the bags, I assumed he'd bought more. We'd be there most of Christmas Day with all of the packages that there were to open.

"Momma says I'm a bad girl and Santa won't come. He'll come, right Daddy?" she asked with that tilt of her head that made the man melt into a puddle every time she leveled it at him. She had that man so wrapped around her finger, it was pathetic.

"Oh, of course he'll come. Have you been bothering Mom?" he asked as he took off his coat and tossed it over a chair. He walked to where she was standing on the stool and picked her up, giving her the usual smacking kiss which caused her adorable giggle to fill the room.

"I bet she was in the presents," Chelsea called from the living room, having taken one of the bags with her when she left the room. I walked to the doorway and saw that anything that didn't have Jax's name on it had been shoved over in front of the fireplace. The only packages under the tree were the ones with her name printed on the tag. I shook my head because it was the third time she'd pulled the stunt.

I turned to look at her, seeing her little hand wrapped in the back of Edward's hair with her head on his shoulder, giving me the biggest, saddest pout I'd ever seen in my life. Edward was fighting hard not to laugh. "Young lady, you know where to go. I told you not to do it again because if we happened to have a fire in the fireplace, a spark could accidentally catch the packages on fire and maybe burn the house down. I'll set the timer, and when it goes off, you _will_ put everything back the way it was," I ordered.

Of course, the little villain turned to Edward and gave him the head tilt. Unfortunately for Jax, _my_ head tilt was far more effective on him because it came with consequences that my horny fiancé didn't want to suffer.

"Um, sweetheart, go to the bench. I don't think Mom's in the mood to compromise today. After your punishment, you can help me wrap a gift I bought for Mom, okay? You can be my helper, but you've got to keep the secret," he conspired with her, knowing that she loved having secrets with him.

"Fine!" she humphed before she stomped off into the hallway to the time-out bench. I was thanking my lucky starts that it was still an effective means of punishment.

The first time I put her there and announced it was to be the time-out bench, Edward, the ass, sat in front of her and talked to her the whole time. It took a while for it to sink in that she was his favorite person in the world and that him keeping her company when she was in trouble wasn't exactly punishment.

She was being punished for taking a Sharpie to one of his illustrated medical journals that she deemed was a coloring book. He wasn't very happy about it because it had been a gift from Carlisle and Esme when he graduated from medical school, but he didn't want to punish her because "she just didn't know."

When I explained to him that she understood that she wasn't to take other people's things and that markers and crayons were only used in coloring books or on plain paper, he finally relented that perhaps a lesson needed to be taught. Sitting with her for the three-and-a-half minutes and telling her that he was sorry she was being punished undermined the punishment a little bit.

"What's this gift? I thought we weren't exchanging gifts?" I asked. We'd made the agreement that with the wedding expenses, we weren't going to buy gifts for each other. If he'd reneged, I wouldn't have the opportunity to get anything for him, and I was pissed about it.

"It's a set of collapsible, silicone measuring cups that I saw at the store. You mentioned you wanted them, and I saw them so I was just going to give them to you, but if wrapping them up and having a secret with my partner in crime will keep her happy, I'll gladly waste a little wrapping paper and a box. I want all my girls in a good mood for our first family Christmas," he told me as he kissed my neck.

It was things like that that made me love the man even more. I'd mentioned in passing that I'd like to get a set when I ordered Esme and Carlisle a table cloth from Williams Sonoma, and he remembered it. He was truly a remarkable man.

"Well, fine. I've got everything I need right here," I told him as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly on his delectable mouth. He planted his hands on my ass…like always…and kissed me passionately, giving me an indication of what I was going to _really_ get for Christmas…thoroughly fucked.

I pulled away and smiled at him. "Save some for later," I joked. He slapped my left ass cheek and laughed.

"I've got more than enough for later. Now, is there anything I can help with?" he asked as he looked around at the mess I'd made in the kitchen.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly 4:00 PM, and it was unusually quiet in the house. It was then that I remembered I hadn't set the timer on the stove for Jax's timeout. "Shit. I forgot to set the timer. Has it been three-and-a-half minutes?" I whispered.

"More than. Why isn't she yelling?" Edward asked as he pulled away from me and left the kitchen. A moment later, he came back and motioned for me to follow him.

We walked down the hallway and saw that Jax had actually lain down on the bench and fallen asleep. "See, how can you punish that adorable little girl?" he whispered as he picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "I'm ready, Daddy." The man was sunk.

##

"Okay, let's get our pajamas on and we can all open one gift before bed," I announced as I walked into the living room, seeing Chelsea and Jax watching a movie, but really eyeing the Christmas tree like it was made of chocolate. Edward was sitting in the winged back chair reading a book, and when I made the announcement he jumped a little.

The three of them looked at me and smiled, and then they all raced up the stairs. Edward picked the two of them up around the waist and carried them to the top, the three of them laughing the whole way. If that was what I had to look forward to with two children, I had no idea how it would be when the third one made an appearance. He was as much of a kid as Jax and Chelsea.

Ten minutes later after faces were washed and teeth were brushed, we took our pajama-clad behinds back downstairs and Edward turned on Christmas music as the girls salivated in front of the tree. I got down on the floor with them and we waited for him to join us.

He went to the mantle and picked up the camera that he'd obviously put there when I was busy in the kitchen. "First things first. A picture of my girls on our first Christmas as a family," he announced. I pulled both girls onto my lap and we all smiled at him. After he took a few shots, he and I traded places, and I took pictures of the three of them. I was sad that there wasn't anyone there to take a picture of the four of us, but I knew there'd be plenty of time for it the next day.

After I deposited the camera back on the mantle for the morning, I sat down and Edward pulled out four gifts from under the tree with each of our names on them. I knew that the ones for Edward and me were from the girls, and I was anxious because Chelsea and Jax had spent a whole day locked in Chelsea's room making something, or so I thought.

"Okay, oldest to youngest. I get to go first," Edward teased, causing a squeal from Jax. I wanted to bean him with something. It was late and I didn't want her getting wound up because the next day was going to be a long one, and I knew she'd be cranky if she didn't get some sleep.

"Me first," Jax yelled. Edward laughed and nodded to her, and she ripped into the paper of the package. I knew it was something she actually wanted, but I knew she wasn't going to be very happy about it because it wasn't a toy. I'd made that mistake in the past of giving her a toy on Christmas Eve, and I couldn't get her to go to sleep for hours. The box she was shaking contained the pink hat, gloves and scarf that she had put on her list. She had a new winter coat that had pink trim, so I knew that the hat, gloves and scarf would match it perfectly.

"Yay!" she called. I could see she was a little disappointed, but I knew that the next morning would erase any memory of it away. She quickly pulled them on and wrapped her scarf around her neck with a smile.

"Chels next," Jax announced. Chelsea was so excited about everything since we'd decorated the house. I was pretty sure she wouldn't care if it was a box of rocks that she was opening. It wasn't. It was a scarf, hat and gloves that matched her new coat as well, only they were in a bright red which I'd found was her favorite color.

"Thank you," she called as she crawled over to me and then Edward, hugging us and kissing us. Jax saw her and did the same, and then sat down on Edward's lap, the pompom on top of her hat causing him to laugh.

"Okay, now Mom," he announced. I held the box up and shook it gently, having absolutely no idea what was in it. I slowly peeled the paper, just to aggravate them, and when it was removed, I was left with a shirt box.

"Is it a blouse for me to wear tomorrow?" I asked. I'd noticed that Edward's box was shaped the same as mine, so I was pretty sure that whatever it was, his was the same.

"Should Dad open his at the same time?" I asked. I saw Jax crawl off his lap and over to Chelsea, the two of them whispering to each other for a scant moment.

"Yes," they both called. Edward quickly ripped his paper off, causing both of them to laugh.

"I'm not planning to save the paper like Mom. Now, on the count of three, love," he announced. The girls counted it off and we both pulled the tops off the boxes, peeling back the tissue paper and gasping.

Inside each box was an expensive silver frame with a professional photo of the girls inside. They were wearing the Christmas dresses we'd picked out for them to wear to Mass the next morning which we were all attending with Carlisle and Esme. The frames were engraved with "Christmas, 2011," and it brought tears to my eyes.

"Oh, girls, this is lovely," I gushed as I took it out of the box to study it more closely. I looked at them and saw the excitement on their faces. I was actually surprised that Jax had kept the secret, and I had to know the details.

"When were these taken and how'd you get the frames?" I asked. I had an inkling of their co-conspirator, but I wanted to hear it from them.

"Alice let us pick the frames on the computer and then she had a man come over and take our pictures in the back yard while you were both at work. We have ones for Big Pop, Gramma and Grandpa Swan, and Nana and Grandpa Cullen. Do you like them?" Chelsea asked as she looked between us. I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled, nodding furiously as she and Jax both clapped.

I turned to look at Edward, and saw him blinking furiously. I knew exactly how he felt. "Come here, my girls," he told them as he pulled them both into a tight hug.

"It's the second best gift I ever got. The first one is all of you," he whispered to them as I saw a single tear slide down his cheek. I crawled over to join the love fest, so grateful for the trouble Alice had gone to for the surprise. I'd have to buy her something very pretty as a thank you.

After they were in bed, my framed photo found a home on our mantle alongside a picture of the girls at Halloween. Edward's found a home on his desk in his office at the back of the house. I vowed that it would be a tradition in our family because the difference between the Halloween photo and the Christmas photo reminded me that they were growing up more every day. Before we knew it, they wouldn't be our little girls anymore…they'd be young women. I knew neither of us was looking forward to that day.

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_**E/N: Too saccharin? Let me know.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_

_**P.S. I've started posting "Doors & Windows & Faith," so if you're interested, check my profile for the link. "A Friend of the Family" is there as well. I hope you'll check them out.**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday! Thank you so much for your reviews. As I've told you, this story is winding down. There's one more regular chapter and an epilogue. Sorry for short notice, but it sort of snuck up on me! **_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No infringement intended.**_

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18.

_Eight Months Later_

"Do you Isabella Marie take Edward Anthony to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked. We were getting married. We'd settled on Carlisle and Esme's backyard in August. We'd planned it, and we had about seventy-five people with us to witness the joining of our families. We'd been through birthdays, fights, holidays, Edward's setting up his practice with Jasper, and we were finally at the wedding.

I was dressed in a simple cream-colored ,silk dress with a waist-length, off-white 'blanket', as Jax had called it, on the back of my head, and I was looking into the eyes of the only man I ever wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

"I do," I answered as the tears flooded my cheeks. He should have known I'd never get through it without crying. Jax was a flower girl and Chelsea was a bridesmaid, and I knew I saw him wipe a tear when they each walked down the aisle in their dresses.

Rosalie was my matron-of-honor, as pregnant as she was, and Emmett was Edward's best man. My dad and Billy gave me away, and it was quite symbolic that my former father-in-law was so supportive of my marriage. I couldn't have dreamed of anything more perfect.

It had actually been Chelsea's idea for the two of them to give me away after she and I made photo albums for Esme for Christmas. She thought it incredible that Billy spent time with us, and well, when we moved him into the cook's quarters earlier in the summer, nobody thought anything of it. He hated living in Port Angeles, and after Edward and I went for a visit, we both saw how miserable he was. We talked about it and decided that he was going to live with us, and we were all okay with it…especially my husband-to-be as soon as he said his I do.

"Do you, Edward Anthony, take Isabella Marie to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the minister asked him as we stood under the arbor in the garden.

"I do, with all of my heart," he answered. Yeah, more fucking tears. I wanted to pop him in the back of the head for making me cry but he was so sincere, and I couldn't help myself but smile at him through my tears.

After the kiss, which was rather chaste and not entirely to my liking, we turned to look at everyone in attendance, listening to the applause of our small gathering. I kissed his hand as we walked down the aisle, and I pulled him into me at the back of the garden because I had news for my new husband.

Everyone was still gathering their things, so I had a small window of time. I pulled him close and pulled his head down to me. "Guess what?" I asked as we stood together in the beautiful garden on that cloud covered day. I didn't need sunshine…I had it, and it was the man looking at me like I'd popped a blood vessel in my brain.

"You're a married woman?" he teased as he kissed my nose.

"Well, yeah, but I have a gift for you," I whispered.

"You gave me you and Jax, and you helped me find Chelsea. I couldn't imagine another gift that would measure up. I don't need things from you…I need you," he replied, repeating my own words back to me.

I could only smile and laugh. "Oh, I think you'll like this gift very much, Dr. Cullen," I teased. I couldn't help myself with that shit. He teased me all of the time, and he wasn't telling me where we were going on our honeymoon so I owed him big time for that.

"Okay, baby, lay it on me," he joked as he pulled me over to where the receiving line was to be, according to our wedding planner. I took my place next to my husband and began the hugging, hand shaking, and air kisses that accompanied such things as our guests moved toward the large patio where there was to be dinner and dancing.

When there was a break, because my mother was talking to people and clogging up the line, I leaned in to my new husband and whispered two words. "I'm pregnant."

Just then, Mom moved and another gang of people came out of the garden and began the hugging and air kissing and well wishing. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see my new husband was completely frozen. After three guests…people from his side who I'd never met…walked passed, he moved into the line of people and looked at me in disbelief.

"Come again?" he asked. People were trying to get around him to the open bar, but apparently he didn't give a shit.

I hugged his aunt and looked at him with a smile. "I said, I'm pregnant."

He blinked twice and picked me up and spun me around, which wasn't good because I was about ready to throw up anyway, but I held it in.

"When?" he whispered to me as he held me aloft.

"You mean when did you get the job done or when are we due?" I teased.

"Goddamn, a baby? I love you. I don't fucking care. How far are you? _How_ are you?" he asked. For an OB, he wasn't very observant. I'd been puking for weeks and had to have my dress let out because, well, the tits were out of control, and he'd even remarked that they were spectacular, the clueless ass.

"About eight weeks," I responded as the line picked up after everyone hooted and hollered about Edward picking me up and spinning me around, not having a clue as to why. It was going to be an exciting time at our house, I was certain.

##

"Edward, son, you're hogging the bride," Carlisle remarked as he walked up to where Edward and I were dancing. Jax and Chelsea were both on Billy's lap and he was spinning around in his wheelchair with them, causing both of them to squeal. Edward had monopolized all of my dances, breaking in on anyone who asked me to dance without one ounce of regret. He made me tell him five times that I was expecting, and I hoped it was finally sinking in.

He turned to Carlisle and smiled. "Fine, but I get her back when this song is over. I'm going to go steal my daughters away from their other grandfather. One song, old man," he teased as he hugged Carlisle and walked away.

Carlisle put his arm around my waist and took my hand, looking into my eyes. "I have to tell you, Bella, you've brought a lot of wonderful changes to our family. We're so happy to have you and Jax as members, and I can never express my gratitude for your part in our finding Chelsea. I don't have enough time to go into all of the ways in which Edward has changed. He actually had me in tears this morning when we were having breakfast. I finally feel like his father, and I'm quite happy about that," Carlisle explained.

I looked over to where Edward was holding Jax in his left arm and spinning Chelsea with his right hand, and I thought back to when I found him on that gurney by the nurses' station the year before. We'd all come a long way since that night.

All of the women had stayed at Carlisle and Esme's the night before the wedding, and all of the men had stayed at Platte House. Alice and Rosalie took my phone from me because we were playing games, and I wasn't paying attention because I was texting Edward, so when he called the house and asked if something was wrong, they all gave him an earful and threatened that if he called again, they'd kidnap me and stop the wedding.

Apparently, the guys were having a party of their own, and my fiancé loved to drunk dial, so Esme called Carlisle and told him to take Edward's phone away from him so we could go to bed. I wondered what the guys had done the night before, besides drink, but whatever it was seemed to have healed the distance that seemed to be between Edward and Carlisle for as long as I'd known the two of them.

"What happened at breakfast?" I asked. I was dying to know, and I didn't know if I'd get it out of Edward.

"Well, we were both nursing hangovers, but he paid me the best compliment I've ever received. He told me that I taught him how to be a good father because I'd been a great father to him, even though he's not biologically my son. Shit, I think I might cry again. Anyway, I'm happy he has you, and I look forward to many years of being close to my son. Thank you for that," he offered. I saw the tears in his eyes, and being the hormonal mess that I was, I started crying right with him.

"Crap. You can't cry today. It's a great day, not one for tears," he told me as he reached into his pocket of his tuxedo and pulled out a handkerchief, handing it to me and then drying his own eyes.

"Thank you, Carlisle, for being a wonderful father to the man I love. I'm sure it wasn't always easy, but I truly love the man he is and that's thanks to you and Esme," I told him. He hugged me and walked away, leaving me on the dance floor by myself. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and locked the door to try to calm down.

There were still pictures being taken, and I didn't want to be all red-eyed in them, but I couldn't help but cry when I thought about what Carlisle told me Edward had said. It was absolutely the sweetest thing I'd ever heard in my life, and it made me love my husband that much more.

##

We pulled up to the gate of Platte House and weren't surprised to see Jax and Chelsea playing on the tire swing in the front yard. They were spinning and laughing so loudly that we could hear them through the closed windows of the car.

We were home from our honeymoon. Seven days in paradise. It was a little island off the coast of Brazil, and it was perfect. We swam, I puked, we made love, and it was absolutely the perfect way to start out our life together.

My parents had stayed at our house with the girls and Billy, and while we'd enjoyed our honeymoon very much, we were both happy to be home because we'd missed everyone. "Well, now we're back to Mom and Dad. No more carefree newlyweds making love when the notion strikes," Edward sighed as we watched the two of them for a moment.

"Are you sorry about that?" I asked as I absentmindedly rubbed my stomach. I wasn't showing yet, but I knew the baby was in there, and Edward was so sweet about kissing my stomach and talking to it all the time that I couldn't forget it even if I wanted to.

He turned to look at me and smiled. "Not one bit. I'll figure out how to get you alone as often as I can, because when this little guy makes his appearance, we'll have even less time than we do now. I love you so much, Isabella," he whispered against my lips as he kissed me before we pulled through the gate and up to the house. He was convinced it was a boy because he'd told me that God wouldn't be cruel enough to give him another daughter when he already had two. I only laughed.

He hit the horn on the car, and the girls came running. We both laughed as they seemed to be racing, and I braced for the impact when one or the other of them slammed into me. Thankfully, Chelsea ran to my side and slowed down before she hugged me around the waist. Jax, however, hit Edward with full force. He scooped her up and gave her a smacking kiss on her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck and scrunched up her face with a squeal of "Daddy, what'd you bringed me?"

Chelsea, our gentle flower, hugged me and looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes of her father's and smiled. "I'm glad you're home Mom. How was your trip?" she asked. I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arm around her, walking to the front of the car where Edward was rubbing noses with Jax.

"It was good, but we missed the two of you. How were the grandparents?" I asked. The grandmothers had taken the girls school shopping while we were gone, and I was grateful because Jax and shopping was a true test of nerves. I was curious how they'd handled it.

"It was fun. We have a lot to show you. Big Pop's daughter, Rachel was here to visit. She's not very nice, though. She told Big Pop that Jax got on her nerves, and he called her a bad word," Chelsea informed, pulling on my hand for me to leave down and whispering, "bitch" into my ear. I couldn't wait to get to the bottom of that discussion with Billy. Rachel and Rebecca weren't happy that he had moved in with us, but he told them to take a flying kiss at his ass, and he moved in anyway. Edward and I laughed at his story.

"Mommy!" Jax shrieked and wiggled from Edward's arms. It was almost like she just realized that if Edward was there, I was with him.

She ran to me and nearly knocked me down, but it felt good to feel her tight hug. I squatted down and wrapped my arms around her little body and kissed her all over her face, causing the most incredible giggle to erupt from her. Chelsea was hugging Edward, and it was evident by the look on his face that he was as happy to be home as me.

"Let's go inside. I'll get the bags later. I'm sure that Grandma Ne and Grandpa Charlie are anxious to get home," Edward suggested. The four of us walked up on the front porch, and Edward stopped abruptly.

"Oops. I almost forgot. Jax, get the door for Dad, will ya?" he asked. She opened the front door, and he swept me up into his arms and kissed me sweetly, carrying me inside. We were both surprised to see a flash once we were in the hallway.

"That's the most perfect picture I've ever taken in my life," my mom announced. She walked over to where Edward was still holding me and turned the camera around to show us that it was a shot of Jax and Chelsea in front of us, and Edward kissing me as he carried me into the house. It was immediately one of my favorites.

"Renee, how were they?" Edward asked as he placed me on my feet and hugged my mother. I was glad that my parents thought as much of Edward and Chelsea as Carlisle and Esme thought of Jax and me. It made everything so much easier.

"As you would expect they would be. Chelsea was a perfect little lady, helping me with dishes and housework while Miss Jax was a terror. She got away from me at Macy's, and I nearly had a stroke. Luckily, Esme found her within a minute, but I swear, if I take that girl to a store again, I'm getting one of those harness things for her. She can get away faster than any child I've ever seen," Mom admitted.

I looked at Jax, and she was looking down at the floor with that damn lip out and the head tilt she employed when she knew she'd done something wrong. It had absolutely no power over me. Edward, however, still fell for it every time. "Not my daughter. Come here, sweetheart. You wouldn't run away from Grandma again would you?" he asked as he picked her up and walked further into the house.

"I was looking for Nana Mesme. She was findin' me some Barbie shoes," Jax told him. I looked at her feet and saw that she was wearing tennis shoes with Barbie on them. I rued the day that Esme Cullen ever introduced her to the world of Barbie.

"Okay, but honey, you know you have to stay with Grandma Ne because if someone took you away from us, Mommy and Daddy would be very sad. Now, where's Grandpa and Big Pop?" he asked.

Mom answered, "Fishing, of course. They should be back soon. You're actually early. Esme and Carlisle are coming over, and we're going to grill out, unless you kids are too tired. You've got wedding gifts to open, you know."

We'd left first thing the morning after the wedding, and we hadn't opened any wedding gifts, not that we wanted or needed anything in the first place. I'd actually forgotten all about them.

"That sounds great. Okay, I'm going to go take a quick shower and change. I'll be back to help get food ready," I called. My stomach was rolling a little, and we weren't ready to tell the grandparents about the baby, so I didn't want to barf in our great room.

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'll go grab our bags. Come on, girls. You can help me. Your mom and I _might_ have brought you something back," he teased. The three of them strolled out of the house, and I smiled at the sight of it.

As I was about to climb the stairs, my mom grabbed my hand. "Freeze, baby girl. Are you pregnant?" she asked. I knew my mouth flew open, and I had absolutely no idea how she could tell.

"What…why…why would you ask that?" I asked, trying not to look into her eyes because I couldn't lie to her face to face. Never had been able to, and I was certain _that _wasn't going to change since I was pregnant.

"Because, you have that flushed look about you just like you did when you were pregnant with Jax. I'm so happy for you, honey. Does anyone know?" she asked. She was a smart one, my mom.

"Edward knows. I told him on our wedding day," I whispered, even though we were in the house alone.

"Ah, that explains that extra cockiness I sensed when he strolled in here. Well, I think it's fantastic, and I won't say a word. Esme and I talked about it while we were having coffee one morning before the girls got up, and we both hoped you two would start your family right away so that there wasn't a huge age gap. I'm so glad you are," she gushed as she hugged me.

We broke apart, both of us in tears, and I quickly went upstairs to shower and change before the girls came back into the house and picked up on it. We were going to talk to them privately before we told anyone, and I was anxious for it to be out in the open.

My husband, the OB, kept very close tabs on me while we were on our honeymoon, so I knew I was in good health, and hopefully, we wouldn't have any problems during the pregnancy. March couldn't arrive soon enough.

##

The girls were at school, and I was going to drop by Edward and Jasper's office to meet them for lunch. Alice had to go to Seattle to pick up Jasper's sister from the airport, and they were going to meet us at the diner. I'd been to my prenatal check-up that morning, and I had big news for my husband. He had planned to go with me, but he was called in for an emergency cesarean, and I had to go alone. It wasn't the day to have to hear the news by myself.

One wonderful thing that had happened was that Angela and Ben had moved back to Forks, and she was working as a receptionist for Edward and Jasper. She and I had many talks about the old days when she, Ben, Jake, and I used to hang out, and we'd become good friends again. Rosalie and Alice loved her, and we had a lot of friends to hang out with.

Rosalie was due any day, and Eric Yorkie, of all people, was working with her and basically taking over the day-to-day operations at the bakery. He was an incredible baker, which wasn't known to me when we worked together in the morgue, and when the opportunity came up for him to change jobs, he was more than happy about it. Unfortunately, he didn't have anyone in his life, and he still lusted after my husband, but it was a joke at our house.

"Hi Ang," I greeted as I walked into the office that day. I was three months pregnant and just starting to show, which made me happy. The parents were quite happy about the news, and all of the attention I got from them was overwhelming most of the time. Jax and Chelsea were thrilled about it as well, and I was truly happy that they weren't jealous or upset. I wasn't so sure _that_ mood would remain when the latest news hit our house.

"Hey, Little Momma. Big Poppa should be done in about five minutes. How are you feeling? You look fantastic," Angela announced as she rounded the reception desk and hugged me.

My husband, the cocky, arrogant man that he was, had embraced the nickname that Eric Yorkie had given him when word spread that I was expecting. Every time Edward went into the bakery, which was just up the street from his and Jasper's offices, Yorkie began rapping the damn song, and Edward liked it. He walked around whistling it all the time, and it drove us all crazy. Of course, I'd been labeled Little Momma, and I was less than thrilled about it.

"God, does he make you call him that?" I laughed. It sounded like something he'd do.

"Jasper calls him that all the time, and it just sort of rubbed off on all of us. McCarty's the worst about it, I swear, but Edward's driving us crazy with the damn whistling," she confessed.

Just then, I heard the door to one of the exam rooms open, and I heard his sweet, velvety voice carry up the hallway. "Okay, Jessica, I'll see you in a year. Congratulations on your engagement. I'll see you at the hospital some time." I looked up to see Jessica Stanley walking down the hallway with a huge smile on her face, the bitch.

"Oh, hi Bella. Looks like you're taking advantage of the whole 'eating for two' thing," she sniped as she stopped at the reception desk to pay her co-pay. I really wanted to coldcock the woman, but before I could say or do anything, my husband had me in his arms and his lips were on mine.

He pulled away and winked at me, obviously knowing that I was about to unleash hell on Jessica, and he knew that the kiss would completely derail me as it always did. "Jessica's just gotten engaged to Mike Newton. I believe you worked with him in Hell," Edward remarked with a smirk obviously remembering what I'd told him about Newton's pot-fueled stupidity. I started laughing, remembering a stoned Newton barely able to function in the morgue, and I decided that she was getting exactly what the fuck she deserved.

"Well now, isn't that nice. I think you two are meant for each other," I observed. I noticed her look at me out of her peripheral, and I could tell she didn't really appreciate my comment, but I gave a shit less.

"Yes, we are, unlike some people. Good-bye, Dr. Cullen," she snapped as she left the office. When she was gone, the three of us cracked up.

"Angela, when's my next appointment?" he asked as he wrote on Jessica's chart and flipped it closed, placing it in the bin on Angela's desk.

"Um, nothing until 1:00 PM. Jasper's probably finished with his rounds, so I believe I'm going to lunch. Bells, we need to get together soon. I'll call you. Enjoy, you two," Angela remarked as she grabbed her purse and left the office. Edward walked over to the door in the waiting room and locked it, taking my hand and leading me back to his office.

"How was your appointment? I trust our son is doing quite well," he joked. Up until my appointment that morning, we teased each other about the baby's sex. We hadn't planned to find out, but that morning, I'd found out after I got the surprise of my life.

How to break the news was something I'd been stewing on since I'd left Dr. Hannigan's office. I finally decided to simply give him the sonogram picture, knowing he was quite familiar with reading them, and let it sink in for him the way it had sunk in for me. "Well, here you go. By the way, God hates you," I responded as I reached into my purse and handed him the picture.

He looked at it and began speaking, "So, what time are we supposed to meet Jasper and Alice at the…" _There _it was. The look of shock. The deep gulp. The wild eyes as he looked between me and the picture. Yep, it was exactly the way I'd reacted to the news.

"You're joking with this, right? This is a joke. You and Hannigan are totally fucking with me," he reacted. I wasn't surprised he'd jumped to the conclusion because he and my OB, Dr. Nikki Hannigan, had a rivalry in our small town, being two of the three OB/GYN's in town. She teased him that I might be married to her biggest competitor in town but when I wanted a good doctor, I'd sought her out. He teased her that if she could ever find a man who could put up with her crabby ass, he'd be happy to deliver her first baby for free. I just laughed at the two of them.

"I certainly wish I was," I told him as I stroked my baby bump. It was all perfectly clear as to why I was bigger at three months than I had been with Jax, though I barely remembered that pregnancy.

"And they're both…" he stammered. Yes, we were having twins. Worse than that, we were having twin _girls_. He was so fucked, it wasn't funny.

"They're both. Man, you don't do shit halfway," I told him as I opened the refrigerator in his office and grabbed two bottles of water as he sunk down into the chair behind his desk, looking like he was either having a panic attack or going into shock. Neither was a welcomed reaction.

"Dear, somebody up there is paying you back for your philandering ways during your formative years," I joked as I handed him a bottle of water and sat down on the top of his desk, waiting for him to come back to me.

"No shit," he responded as he took a drink of water. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button on his dress shirt. I wanted to laugh at him, but I actually knew how the man felt, and I didn't want him to have a heart attack or anything.

"So, Dr. Hannigan asked if we wanted to consider a C-section since they're twins, and we could deliver at the optimum time. I told her I'd get a second opinion, and she laughed," I related.

His head snapped up, and he looked at me with worry in his eyes. "Why wouldn't she want you to deliver vaginally? Is there something wrong? Did you have complications when you had Jax?" he asked.

"No, not at all. She just offered it as an option because, well, if they're your kids, they're probably going to be big, and I'd prefer not to be ripped in half when I delivered them," I responded. She'd mentioned that they were actually big for where I was in my pregnancy, and she'd pinpointed the due date to the last week of March, which fit in with when I thought I'd conceived.

"Why didn't we hear two heartbeats when you went to your last exam?" he asked. How the fuck did I know? He was the goddamn doctor, not me.

"You've delivered twins before. Do you always pick up two distinct heartbeats?" I asked. He was still drinking his water and running his right hand through his hair like a maniac.

"What?" he asked. Yeah, I could tell he was just talking to himself and didn't actually expect me to answer him.

"I said you've delivered twins before. Do you always pick up two distinct heartbeats?" I repeated.

"Shit, I don't even…God, four girls. I'm going to die at a young age, you know that, right?" he asked. I was about to cry because I knew it would be a shock, but I wasn't exactly happy about how much of a shock it appeared to be.

I hopped down from the desk and tossed my empty water bottle into the recycle bin in his office. I grabbed my purse and went to the restroom to cry alone. I knew he was worried and upset, but it wasn't like I had any say into the sex or the number of children I was carrying. He was as much a part of it as me.

After I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, I opened the door to find him standing there looking very sheepish. "I'm going to the diner to meet Alice and Jasper. I'll see you at home," I snapped, not at all happy about the way in which he'd taken the news.

"No, baby, wait. I'm sorry about how I took the news. I'm just surprised, that's all. I'm sure that when it really sinks in, I'll be happy about it. It's just a fucking shock," he replied as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

Damn him and his arms. I couldn't help but cry again because I knew he was as surprised as I was, but I'd expected the cocky ass to gloat or something, not have a fucking meltdown. "It's not like I planned this or anything," I sobbed against his chest. He picked me up and carried me back to his office sitting down in his chair with me on his lap.

"Bella, honey, I'm so sorry I didn't go with you today. I'm sure that if we'd have been there and heard the news at the same time, I'd have taken it a lot better. It's just, you know, I never considered that there'd be twins. I was pretty sure it would be a girl, but I had no idea about twins. I love you so much, and hell, we live in a sea of pink already, so I'm not sure how I'd handle a son anyway. Please forgive me for being such a dick. I was just surprised," he whispered as he held my face in his gentle hands and looked into my eyes.

He dried my tears with his thumbs on my cheeks, and then he kissed me gently on my lips, completely enchanting me, as per usual. When we pulled apart as his phone chimed on the desk, he smiled at me. "I love you, my sweet girl, and as I'm honored as I am to be your husband, I'm thrilled to be the father of your children. I'll get used to this, I promise, baby," he responded. I reached over to his desk and picked up his phone, handing it to him.

He tapped the buttons and laughed. "Jasper wants to know where the fuck we are. Come on, let's go feed our daughters. We'll tell the girls tonight, and then tell the grandparents. I'm sure the mothers are going to go crazy, and the fathers are going to razz the shit out of me. I actually feel sorry for Billy the most. Four girls…Jesus," he replied. Jesus, indeed.

##

We walked into the diner, and Jasper and Alice stood up from the table and began chanting, "_I love it when you call me Big Poppa…throw yo hands in the air like yous a true playa. I love it when you call me Big Poppa…"_ I simply shook my head at their display and noticed the petite redhead sitting at the table, looking at the two of them like they were crazy.

"Okay, enough," I called as Edward swaggered over to the table in typical arrogant fashion. I could already see that he was warming up to the idea that his super swimmers had fertilized one egg that split into two, and we were having twins. I knew he'd turn it into something about him, and I was ready for him.

"Hello there Jazz, Alice, and you, lovely young woman. I'm Edward and this is my beautiful wife, Bella," he introduced as he shook Charlotte's hand. She wasn't as short as Alice or me, but she was very pretty. She had pale features and reddish-brown hair, and she had Jasper's blue eyes.

"Pleased to meet you both. Jasper and Ali have told me a lot about you. I'm Charlotte," she answered.

"Well, they don't know the best news. My lovely wife just informed me that we're having twins. You can't say anything about it because we've gotta tell the girls and parents, but yeah, Big Poppa got the job done quite nicely," he gloated. I slapped him on the chest.

"_Edward!_ You were just having a fucking panic attack before we left the office. Now, you're going to brag about it?" I asked.

"Panic attack? Oh, Blacksheep, do tell," Jasper chided. I laughed at him and decided what the fuck.

"I'm carrying twins…girls," I announced. Well, if he was telling that they were twins, I could tell that they were girls.

Jasper shot water out his nose, and Alice crumpled into him laughing as well. Of course, my braggart of a husband had probably been touting that it was going to be a bouncing boy. They both cracked up at his discomfort, and I couldn't help but laugh with them.

"Oh, brother. Are you gonna be in hell. Four girls…that's really fucking priceless," Jasper teased. Poor Charlotte wasn't used to us, and she looked like a deer in headlights, but if she was going to work for Edward and Jasper, she was going to have to get used to them. If Jasper and Edward were shocking, I had no idea what the hell she'd do with Emmett McCarty who was going to join their practice as a General Practioner.

##

"So, we have some good news," Edward announced. We were all at Esme and Carlisle's house for Sunday dinner. It was my birthday weekend, and Edward, Chelsea and Jax had pampered me all day. I was so happy that I cried at the fucking drop of a hat. Edward had embraced the fact that we were going to have two little baby girls in the spring, and he was even smugger than he'd been before the news.

"I wanna tell," Jax announced from the table. Chelsea was holding my hand and laughing at Jax's exuberance over our news. They were both happy about the fact that the babies would be girls. I hoped they'd stay excited once we had two crying, pooping babies in our house.

"Actually, that's a stellar idea. Jax, go ahead," Edward announced.

Jax stood up on her chair and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. It was family, along with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and their little Lilly, and Jasper's sister, Charlotte.

She was a sweet girl, and Alice and I had been conspiring to set her up with Peter O'Rourke, though we'd been unable to work it out. We weren't giving up by any stretch.

When she felt like she had everyone's attention, Jax announced, "We're having two babies, and they're both girls."

The room exploded as we knew it would, and everyone was pleased with the news. My dad and Billy teased Edward mercilessly regarding the fact that he was going to have four daughters, and there would probably be a multitude of the boys who would likely cross our threshold, but at the end of the night, my father promised to take him to the shooting range to teach him how to shoot a gun so he could run off any undesirables.

My mom, Esme, and I laughed until I was about to pee my pants. It was a wonderful birthday, and I was glad that the only gifts I got were gift certificates for manis and pedis and picture frames. I didn't want anything big, and everyone, for once, respected it.

That was, until we got home. I thought it odd that my husband had agreed that my gift would be the small party. I should have fucking known better. We put the girls to bed, and settled on the couch to listen to music. I was having a nice cup of herbal tea, and Edward was having a glass of wine.

"So, Mrs. Cullen, you've given me more than I ever deserved, and before you start complaining, let me remind you that I love you and you're carrying my daughters. Now, happy birthday," he announced as he handed me a box that he pulled out from under the couch. I eyed him warily and peeled off the paper, finding a red leather box inside. I opened it and found a beautiful bracelet with four charms in the shape of little girls. The skirts on the little stick figures contained stones, and I was quite surprised at them. One was a garnet; one was a diamond, and two were aquamarine. I looked at him and smiled.

"It's beautiful, but what if the girls are late or come early?" I asked. I didn't want to contemplate that maybe something might happen to one or both of them. It was too much to think about.

"I can exchange them, and don't even start thinking about the worst case scenario. Our girls are all going to be fine. I won't have it any other way," he replied as he placed the bracelet on my wrist.

"Thank you, honey," I answered.

"You can thank me another way, you know," he responded with the familiar lust in his eyes. I pulled him from the couch, and we went upstairs, closing the door and locking it. It was time for Little Momma to get what she really wanted for her birthday, and that was Big Poppa.

Softly, slowly, sweetly. That was the only way I could describe how my husband made love to me that night. He was on top of me because it wouldn't be very long before that position was impossible, and I loved feeling the weight of his tight body on me. After he brought me to climax with his mouth, he moved up my body and gently stroked into me.

"I love you so much, and I love what we've made," he whispered against my neck as he moved in and out of me. I was moving against him, and I was on the verge of losing it. He knew it, and he pulled his weight to the left, his right hand circling my clit to bring me to a whimpering mess.

After my second orgasm, he pulled me up from the bed, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Hold on, baby," he whispered as he moved in and out of me. It felt incredible, and we both found our happy endings at the same time. I was exhausted, but very well satisfied. It had been a perfect birthday, in my opinion, and as I fell asleep with him wrapped around me, I had not one complaint about anything.

\\\

_**E/N: TWINS! It's a total coincidence that this chapter and the last chapter of AFOTF both involve babies. I never planned it that way, I promise. Can't wait to hear what you thought.**_

_**Till next Wednesday…xoxo**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: Happy Wednesday! Hope all is well in your part of the world. Thank you so much for your reviews. I love them all. I'm trying to find my audience here, and every story I post isn't a home run, but trust me, I love your reviews, even if there are just four of them! I hope you'll keep reading my stuff, but I look at every review as a gift because you've given up a bit of your free time to read something I've written, and for that, thank you.**_

_**Now, as I mentioned, this is the last chapter of 'Labels', and I appreciate all of you who stuck around for it. I loved the story, and I appreciate all of you who stuck with me.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. I'd never infringe upon her rights.**_

_**Here's the last chapter…there's a short epi, but this is it!**_

_**\\\**_

19.

"When will they wake up?" Jax whispered loudly as she looked into the bassinet where Alexis Grace and Lindsey Marie were sleeping. They'd been delivered by C-Section on March 25, and they were perfect. They were bald, they were beautiful, and they were very calm babies. Each weighed just over seven pounds, and my husband was no longer the cocky man who strutted around the house. Having two little babies had certainly taken him down a notch or two.

"They wake up when they wake up," Chelsea reasoned. I was on the couch napping but I was awake, unbeknownst to them. Edward had gone into the office, and Billy was visiting Rebecca to spend time with his grandson. We missed him, but I was pretty sure he was glad to be out of the hot zone that was our house.

Esme was in the kitchen fixing lunch for the girls, and I was grateful that she and Mom, along with Rose and Alice, were helping out. It was a bit overwhelming when we'd brought them home, but at a month old, we were adjusting.

My body…good Lord, my body was trying to adjust. Thankfully, at one of my last office visits before the girls were born, Dr. Hannigan suggested that she had a friend…a plastic surgeon…who I might want to consult with because I was fucking huge, and since I was having a C-Section, he could come in behind her and do a tummy tuck. I took advantage of that shit right away.

I was still sore, but the swelling was nearly gone, and I was almost back into my clothes, which I doubted would have been possible had I not availed myself of the services of the plastic surgeon.

My husband, of course, thought it was ridiculous but I ignored him and did what I wanted to do. He wasn't complaining any longer, and he was as eager for me to get back for my six week check-up as I was. I was trying to take care of him by way of mouth-meets-cock, but he wanted to be inside me, and God knew I wanted it as well.

Jax was six and she was set to start kindergarten in the fall, and I couldn't believe it had been nearly six years since Jacob had been killed. She was more like him, with a little of Edward's mannerisms thrown in, and I was so proud of her. Chelsea was her hero and she'd been teaching Jax to read, along with help from the rest of us. I knew that when she started kindergarten, she'd be ahead of the rest of her class, but we were prepared for it by getting her involved in gymnastics and piano to keep her from getting bored. Edward was teaching her piano, and she was doing very well.

Chelsea, who would be ten in a few weeks, was our little artist. She had an eye that amazed me, and she could sketch quite well. We had several of her sketches framed and mounted around the house, and we were very proud of her.

"Why can't we wake them?" Jax asked. I opened my eyes because if she was going to wake them, I was going to have a fit. They usually slept most of the night, but the night before they'd been awake and crying into the wee hours, and of course, Edward got called to the hospital.

"You wake them and I ground you," I whispered. I saw Chelsea giggle, while Jax continued to poke at her sisters.

"Mommy, why can't we hold them? I want to change their clothes," Jax announced loudly. She liked to treat them like her Barbies, and honestly, the laundry was out of control.

"They're fine. Go to the kitchen and eat lunch. Nana should have it ready by now," I commented as I rose from the couch and fastened a clip in my hair to get it off my neck. I walked over to the bassinet and saw that Lexi and Lindsey were still asleep, and I was grateful.

Just as I was about to go into the kitchen to get something to eat, the doorbell rang. "I've got it," I called.

I opened the door and found an old man standing there looking around the property. I shouldn't have just opened the door without figuring out who it was, but it was Forks, for crap's sake. "Hello? May I help you?"

He turned around and gave me a snarled look. "Who are you?" he snapped as if I had offended him simply by opening the door.

"I'm the woman who owns this house. Who the hell are you?" I snapped back.

"I used to own this house. Does Edward Cullen live here?" he asked as he pushed passed me into the house, uninvited.

"He does. He's at the office right now, and I'm his wife. What can I do for you?" I asked again. The old bastard was just annoying and I didn't want him in my home, but he was inside and he knew Edward, so I had to find out who he was.

"I want to see Edward and I want to see my granddaughter," he bitched. It was then that it hit me who the old crackpot was. It was Finn Platte, and what he was doing in the States, much less our home, was beyond me.

I heard a gasp behind me, seeing Esme with Chelsea standing with her, both of them with wide eyes and I noticed that Chelsea looked scared. I immediately walked over to her and pulled her into me to protect her. I didn't know why she was scared, but no one was going to hurt her. I'd give my life for her.

"Dad?" Esme whispered. It was the reason that my daughter was stiff as a pipe and why Esme was freaking out.

"Esme. How are you?" he asked callously. He didn't care and I wanted to kick him out, but he was Esme's father so I had to give her the upper hand.

"What in the hell are you doing here? You're not welcome in this house, and aren't the authorities looking for you?" she snapped which caused him to actually look at her.

"Esme, dear one, I need to talk to Edward and I wanted to see my granddaughter. Chelsea, little one, come give Pappa a kiss," he coaxed.

She was shivering, and I could tell she was scared to death, so I pushed her behind me. "I'm sorry, but you have no right to be here. Chelsea doesn't want to see you, and Edward has nothing to say to you, so you should go," I announced.

"Please, little girl, don't push me. I want to see my grandson, and I'm not leaving until I do. I don't know who you are or who you think you are, but I'm not leaving my home until I talk to Edward," he ordered.

Well, the fucker had another thing coming. I walked to the house phone and called my dad. He'd be famous for capturing the infamous Finn Platte, and I wasn't going to give the old bastard the opportunity to get away.

"Bells? What's wrong? You never call my cell," Dad began.

"Hi honey. You need to come home as soon as possible. You have company," I responded.

"Is there something wrong?" Dad asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it's your grandfather," I answered.

"Is he armed?" Dad asked, obviously remembering the story of Edward's grandfather.

"I'm not quite sure what he wants, honey, but he wants to talk to you," I replied, hoping that Dad got it.

"I'll be there in five minutes. Keep him talking," Dad instructed. We hung up and I turned to the man with a new determination because he wasn't going to threaten my family.

I hung up the handset and walked back into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Unfortunately, Lexi began crying. I quickly moved to the bassinet to pick her up, hoping the old fuck wasn't armed.

"A baby?" Finn asked. I picked up my daughter just as Jax waltzed into the room.

"It's my turn," she announced without looking around the room.

"Jax, go into the kitchen and get lunch with Nana and Chels. Daddy will be home in a bit," I called. I hoped that my father would show up in five minutes because I had my daughters there, and Esme was a mess.

"Who's that? I know she's not a Platte or a Cullen," he snapped as he crossed his legs looking at me holding a crying Lexi. She was ready to eat, and I couldn't leave him alone in the room with Lindsey in the crib, so I just held her.

A minute later, Esme came into the room with a bottle and handed it to me. "Finn, what are you doing here?" she asked. I could see that she'd gathered herself and I was happy to have the reinforcement. I accepted the bottle and began feeding my daughter, praying that my father showed up any time soon.

"I'm not here to hurt anyone. I'm dying, Esme. I just came to give Edward the account number for money for Chelsea and see her maybe one last time. I didn't expect to see you, but I'm not unhappy about it. So, are you still married to that ass?" he asked. Oh, the man was evil incarnate. I handed Lexi to Esme and rose from my place on the couch.

"You, you old bastard, you need to get out of my house. Carlisle is a good and decent man, obviously something that's lost on you. Edward takes after him, and you have no place here. You colluded with Didi to keep Chelsea from her father, and that's one of the most despicable things I've ever heard in all my life. You should leave before I physically throw you out," I yelled.

Of course, that brought a crying Chelsea out of the kitchen and Jax wasn't going to be left behind. "Mommy, what's wrong?" Jax asked.

"Come here and sit with Nana. Daddy will be home soon," I replied. Jax walked over and sat down next to Esme and Chelsea followed her.

"I know she's not Edward's daughter. She's a mix. Why is she calling him 'Daddy'?" the prick asked.

"Redward is too my daddy. He loves me like he loves Chels. Who are you?" Jax asked indignantly. I heard the front door open, and I sighed in relief.

My dad strolled in and looked around seeing us all looking very scared. He had the entire Forks Police Department, all two of them, and he meant business. "Finneas Platte? You, sir, are under arrest. You have the right…" Dad began reading him his Miranda rights. I was pretty sure Charlie Swan was going to be on television, but I was happy that Finn Platte, the bitter old prick, was leaving our house.

As we'd come to find out much later, Finn was dying of cancer and wanted to give Edward the account number for an off-shore account where he'd hidden a lot of money. We gladly turned it over to the government because we didn't need it. We didn't have to go to court, and he was sent to prison until he died which wasn't too long after his sentencing.

I sat with Esme at the small funeral and held her hand while she cried for the childhood she remembered before everything went to hell. I held her and cried with her, and when we left he cemetery, she held her head high amidst the reporters and paparazzi that were waiting for her. She was definitely a lady, and I was proud to know her.

##

_One Year Later_

"Where are my girls?" Edward announced as he waltzed into the house one afternoon. My husband got better with age, if that was fucking possible, and I felt like I got more frazzled. Lindsey and Lexi were a year old and just walking. Chelsea was eleven, and Jax was seven. I was…fuck…twenty-seven, and I had news for him, yet again.

Our life was full, that was all I could really say about it. His practice was very, very busy, and Alice was running things with our business while I only consulted on jobs. I had four daughters to deal with, and life was so flipping busy that I didn't know what was up and what was down.

Chelsea and Jax came running and picked up Lexi and Lindsey on their way. It was always a sweet sight to see. He took the babies into his arms and kissed them, and he kissed Jax and Chelsea on the head. He walked into the kitchen where I was preparing dinner and put the twins into their high chairs.

He walked over to me and kissed the side of my neck. "How's my wife?" he asked.

That was a good question. She wasn't doing quite so well. It was a hectic mess at our house with the girls in school and the babies, and I was overwhelmed most of the time. Alice and Rose came over to give me a break on occasion, as well as Mom and Esme, but truth be told, I missed my husband being around.

"She misses her husband," I answered as I pulled the pasta from the boiling water. I drained it and finished dinner, having already set the table. He was working a lot, but we'd gotten together at least _once_ over the previous couple of months.

"I know, honey. There seems to be a baby boom in town. I'm going to take vacation and refer my patients to Nikki. She'll love that," he joked. Oh, she'd love it more than he'd know because she had the last laugh on Edward Cullen. I believe her parting shot when I'd left her office that day was "Oh, please, can't I tell him."

"Yeah, I get it. Where are we going?" I asked as I turned the meatballs in the pan on the stove. I had no idea how to tell him about the news because he was settled that we'd have four daughters, and they filled up our life, but he knew that I hadn't gone on the pill or the patch. We were using condoms and watching the calendar while I waited for my body to get back to normal. My periods, after the girls, were irregular, and I should have gone on the pill. I was an idiot, and I would pay for that in spades.

I took a deep breath and remembered what Nikki Hannigan had told me after she stopped laughing. "Your husband is an OB. He'll be happy about this." I was a crying mess in her office that morning, but she was sweet and held me in her arms as I cried because we just didn't think…he was a fucking OB/GYN. He should have known, and I should have known, and dammit, we'd been careless.

"I thought maybe we'd go to Mexico," he responded. We'd never gone, and Alice and Jasper had sung it's praises for years, having gone several times with Peter and Charlotte.

Oh, yes, Jasper's sister seemed to fit the bill with Peter O'Rourke, and they were engaged. I was happy about it, and Edward seemed relieved, though I had no idea why. No man, other than their father, would take on four girls. He truly had nothing to worry about.

Billy had moved back to his house on the reservation with Siobhan in tow. They were happy, and he really couldn't tolerate four girls in our house, so I didn't blame him. There were nights when I wanted to move as well, but it was my family, and well, I was happy for the most part.

"I need to talk to you," I replied as Jax and Chelsea ran into the room. I couldn't help but start to cry, yet again. I turned back to the stove to finish dinner. I plated it up for them, and left the room as they all talked about their day.

I went upstairs and ran a bath. I soaked in the warm tub and let out water when it cooled, and then ran hot water into it again. I must have sat in that tub for at least an hour trying to figure out how to break the news. I finally gave up and crawled out of the water, wrapping the towel around me and brushing my teeth.

Edward walked into the bedroom as I walked out of the bathroom. "You know, the beauty of having older daughters is that they can help with the younger ones. Now, all of our girls are in bed. Stories are read, and they're all settled. What's wrong, Bella?" he asked with concern.

He had every right to be because I'd been withdrawn for weeks. I took care of our family, but I was still out of sync with it, and I was stupid not to know that he'd notice it. "I'm just, well, maybe I'm….fuck…I blame you and your potency for this, goddammit. I'm pregnant again, and you knew that I wasn't on the pill or anything like that, so you can't get pissed at me about this," I whined.

Edward Anthony Cullen…Dr. Sex Hair on Twitter…Dr. Fuck-em-all, as we used to refer to him when I worked at the hospital…was smiling. I was certain that I'd called him a few "jackoffs" and a few "unsympathetic bastards" along the way, but my husband, Edward Cullen, he only smiled at me.

I wanted to punch him for that sexy damn smirk. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he answered as he undressed. Not a freak out moment. Not a complaint. Not a look of fear. He actually looked happy that we had one-year-old twins and I was knocked up again. Then, the fucker began whistling as he put away his socks from the laundry basket on the bed, and I knew the song and wanted to slap him, but all I could do was laugh. He was whistling "Big Poppa," and I knew that Edward Cullen would be happy with ten kids if I'd give birth to them, and I had been stupid to worry about it.

After the basket was emptied, he pulled me into the bed and whispered, "Come here Little Momma because Big Poppa wants to show you how fucking happy he is that we're going to have more babies. You, Isabella Cullen, are the most incredible woman I've ever met in my life, and I'm more than happy to tell everyone that you're my wife, and I'm so very happy that I get another opportunity to have a baby with you. I'll cut back on my practice so I can help more at home, but God, I love you," he whispered.

Well, there it was. We were going to add number five…fuck, I hoped it was only one…to our brood. It wasn't anything I ever thought I'd have, but it was the life I was living, and it really was a happy one.

##

"I like this one," Jax whined as we walked around the Ford dealership in town. We'd gotten rid of my CRV years ago when it finally died. I'd upgraded to an Explorer at the time. Now, with another baby on the way, we needed something bigger. I was being forced into an Expedition, and I wasn't too happy about it. I felt like it was as big as a bus, but Edward told me I was being silly.

He'd gotten rid of his fancy two-seater years ago as well, and he was driving a Volvo, which he loved. Unfortunately, all of the baby seats wouldn't fit in it when we were all going somewhere, hence the need for a bigger car.

"I guess I like that color," I replied. We took it for a test drive…Edward, Chelsea, Jax and me…and we decided that we liked it. The girls were just back in school, and the baby was due in September. I wasn't as big as I was with Lindsey and Lexi, which thrilled me, and we'd confirmed there was only one, so that thrilled Edward. We didn't know what the sex was, but Edward said that God wouldn't put a defenseless little boy in the house with five women, so it was probably another girl.

When we returned to the dealership after the test drive, Edward made the deal, and we drove home in our new Expedition. I really didn't complain much because it had everything on it, but it was still huge and would be an adjustment for me to be comfortable driving it.

We went to Esme and Carlisle's to pick up the twins, and thankfully, Esme had dinner prepared so I didn't have to cook when I got home. "Bella, dear, how are you feeling?" she asked as I sat down at the kitchen table while she prepared a salad to go with the meatloaf she'd made.

"I'm exhausted. I can't believe I have two more weeks. How's everything at the hospital?" I asked. She was planning to retire the next year, and the search for her replacement had been extensive.

They'd brought people out from the East Coast, but nobody really wanted to move to our small town and run a small hospital. I couldn't understand why because I loved our town, but I had no idea what went into running a hospital, so I supposed that a small one might not offer the challenges that a larger one would.

"Well, actually, a name came up to take my place, and I'm kind of excited about it. I don't know if he'll want the job, but I believe he'd be perfect at it. The search committee suggested…" she began. All I could think was "_Please, not my husband. Please, not my husband."_

"…Emmett. What do you think?" she asked. I let out a held breath and smiled with relief.

"Wow, they really want to give Emmett the responsibility for the whole hospital? That's kind of dangerous, isn't it?" I teased. We both laughed.

"The level of enthusiasm that Emmett McCarty walks around with every day could really re-energize things at the hospital, and I think he'd be great at the job. He's really done well as the Chief of Emergency Medicine, and I have a gut feeling that he could rise to the occasion. I worry about someone from the outside coming in and taking over things because that hospital runs so efficiently now, and I'd like to leave it in the capable hands of one of our own," she responded as she dumped the chopped-up tomatoes into the salad.

"I think that's a very good…ooh," I gasped. Suddenly, I was soaking wet in my chair, and I knew exactly what was going on. Esme looked at the puddle under the chair and dropped the knife.

"Um, Edward, son, can you come here?" she called as she went to the laundry room and grabbed a couple of towels from the dryer, dropping one on the floor under me and handing me the other. I'd need it for the ride to the hospital in my new SUV.

"Yes, ma'am. Need some help?" he asked as he stepped into the room. I stood from the chair…with help from the table…and wrapped the towel around my waist.

"I think you and Bella are going to need to take a little ride," Esme replied as she pointed to me and the floor under the chair.

"Oh, is it time?" he asked as he walked over toward me. I nodded and remembered that Nikki Hannigan was on vacation.

"Shit. Nikki's in Barbados until next week. I don't want a resident," I snapped.

"Fine. Let's get going before you have it right here in Mom's kitchen. I'll call Dr. Forge on the way and see if he's around," Edward replied.

Dr. Forge was the other OB in town, and I didn't like him at all. He was a crabby old bastard who didn't believe in epidurals. He said on more than one occasion that women should feel the pain of childbirth in order to do justice to the entire miracle of life thing. I disagreed completely. Fucker didn't have a uterus, so I didn't think he should have a say in the matter.

"God, I hate him. I want my epidural," I whined as he grabbed my purse and ushered me out of the kitchen.

"Where are you going, Daddy?" Chelsea asked as she walked into the hallway.

"Mom's gone into labor. You stay here with Nana and help her and Grandpa with the other girls, please. I'll call you as soon as the baby's here," he informed her. She quickly walked over and hugged me, and then we were out the door without another word.

##

"Okay, sweetheart, just one more push. You can do it," Edward called. Dr. Forge wasn't available, so my dear husband, with Emmett standing by, was delivering our baby. Rosalie and Alice were coaching me, and Jasper was standing by to check out our baby when it was delivered.

I'd only been in labor for four hours, and the girls were apparently staying up to find out what it was, and I was just as eager as they were. With a push that I didn't think I had left in me, the baby was out and on my stomach with a whoosh.

"Oh, God…Baby, it's a boy. We have a son," Edward gasped. I looked down and saw a perfect little boy resting on my stomach. Edward was so overcome with emotion that Emmett actually shoved him out of the way and took over. I wasn't exactly thrilled about Emmett being that up-close-and-personal with my girlie bits, but I was too happy to really care.

An hour later, I was settled into a room, and we were holding our son. "We need to think of a name for this little guy. God, I can't believe we have a son. I promise to keep you safe from your sisters, little guy," he cooed as he gently brushed his fingers over our son's cheek in awe.

"Well, we could name him after you," I suggested as I looked into his little red face.

"No. I hate my name. How about, um, Henry?" he asked. I laughed. No way was our son going to be named Henry.

"Henry? I don't think so. What about…" I began when an idea hit me. "What about Masen?" I asked.

Edward screwed up his face and looked at me with a furrowed brow. "Masen? You mean after Ed Masen?" he asked. I was pretty sure it would be a hard sell because Edward _never_ talked about his biological father.

"Yeah. I mean, without him, you wouldn't be here. I know that Carlisle is your father, and he'll have the Cullen name, but what about acknowledging the man who contributed to making you? I think it would be quite fitting," I answered confidently.

He thought about it for a minute, and then he smiled. "How about all of the men who contributed to the two of us being here? Masen Charles Cullen," he suggested. I was immediately in love with it.

"That's perfect. Welcome to the world, Masen Charles Cullen. We're so happy you're here," I cooed as I kissed his small forehead. He was perfect, and I was happy that he was the newest member of our family.

"Now, I've got a phone call to make because as far as I know, Chels and Jax are refusing to go to bed until they know if it's another sister, so I'll be right back. Bella, I love you so much. Thank you for making my life so complete. Hell, I never knew this was the life I wanted, but it's absolutely perfect," he whispered before he left the room. I knew he had tears in his eyes, and he was too much of a guy to let me see them, but I knew how happy he was about having a son.

"Masen, your father is a very complex man, but your sisters will clue you in on how to deal with him, I promise," I whispered to the baby in my arms. It was incredible…it was heavenly…it was everything I never thought I'd ever have.

We had four daughters and a son, and we'd had an unlikely beginning.

Two broken people found each other and fell in love. Two halves became a whole, and we had five wonderful children to show for it. I hoped that somewhere, Jacob and Gianna were happy for us and proud of the job we were doing raising their daughters. I was no longer The Widow Black. I was Isabella Cullen…wife, mother of five, daughter, friend, and overjoyed. Those were labels I could live with quite happily.

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_**E/N: So, Finn was taken care of, and Edward got his son…oh, and his four daughters. Let me know what you think, please.**_

_**If you don't have me on author alert, I'll pimp a story once more… "Doors & Windows & Faith." I love the story, and I hope you'll check it out.**_

_**See you next Wednesday with the Epi.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Ah, and here we are at the end of our journey. I know it's short, and I hope it's sweet. I've loved this story, and I appreciate all of the supporters and readers and reviewers and rec'ers and yes, even you lurkers. You warm my heart.**_

_**So, for the last time…let's get to it.**_

_**SMeyer…owns it all. Me…not an infringer.**_

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_**20.**_

_**EPILOGUE**_

We were sitting in the over-heated gymnasium at Forks' High, and I wanted to pass out. Jax was accompanying the high school choir for the graduation ceremony, which was originally supposed to be outside, but it had rained that day, and it had been relocated to the gymnasium. Our whole family was there to watch our oldest, Chelsea, graduate from high school.

She was eighteen, and she was going to go to college at the Chicago Art Institute to major in Art History. She was an accomplished painter in her own right and had won awards in several local competitions, but she was just as practical as her father, and had decided that she needed something at which she could make a living. She wanted to be a curator, and Chicago had one of the best programs in the country. We were going to miss her very much.

Jax was fifteen, and had skipped third grade. She was finishing her freshman year of high school, and was actually eligible to take AP classes her sophomore year. She was a fantastic musician, and she loved to play, but she was nervous about the graduation ceremony, so Edward was sitting next to her to turn pages for her and offer her moral support.

We'd sent Jacob's car to a restoration specialist to have it overhauled, but he'd called us and explained that the only thing salvageable was the chassis, so after we discussed it with her, we sold it to the guy and put the money in the bank to buy her a much safer car when she turned sixteen. The Mustang didn't have airbags which Edward wasn't thrilled about it, but he'd left the decision to us, and we'd decided that it was the thing to do. I cried the day we went to pick up the check, but my daughter's safety was far more precious than giving her the car. I could tell it meant more to me than it did to her anyway, so I let it go.

Lexi and Lindsey were eight, and both were more tomboy than prissy girl. They both played sports, and our days were quite busy shuttling the two of them and their six-year old brother, Masen, between practices and games. They were sitting with our parents at the end of the row, and I could tell that they were at the end of the patience.

I snapped my fingers at Masen who was just about to put gum in the little girl's hair in front of us, and I cocked an eyebrow at him. God, he was all boy. My mom held out a tissue for him to deposit his gum, and then she elbowed my father in the ribs to stop laughing.

"She looks scared to death," Billy whispered from his wheelchair next to me. He and Siobhan were still together, and they were doing wonderfully. Our kids had three sets of grandparents, and they loved them all very much.

"I think she threw up last night. I don't know why she's so worried. She's practiced this music for the entire school year, and Edward worked with her as much as possible. She said she didn't want to mess up because it was her sister's big day, but she's had many recitals over the years, and she's never made a mistake," I whispered back.

"Yeah, well, you know how much she loves Chels, so it's not surprising that she wants everything to be perfect," Billy reasoned. I nodded in agreement and fanned myself as the speaker continued to drone on. It was Reverend Weber, who was a wonderful man who I'd known for many years from grief counseling, but he wasn't exactly the most captivating orator in the world.

After the diplomas were handed out…all of us standing and yelling at Chelsea as she graduated with honors…we quickly made our way outside into the gloomy May afternoon. Edward and Jax hurried through the crowd to where our own crowd was gathered to hug our graduate, and I was thankful for the fresh air.

"Chels, honey, congratulations," he told her as he hugged her. I'd seen him wiping tears as she walked across the stage, and I saw her wave at him and Jax before she returned to her seat. I'd been lucky enough to get the picture from my seat in the audience, and I planned to give it to Edward for Father's Day.

He loved all of our children unconditionally, and I was so happy to have found the man that I thanked the Holy Trinity and all the Saints every night before I went to bed. He had patience with our children, and he would always make time for his family before everything else. He was a remarkable man who only got better with age.

"Thanks, Daddy. Um, I need to go turn in my gown, so I'll meet you guys at home for the party. Come on, Jax, you can come with me. I believe that you wanted to say good-bye to a certain _boy_ before he leaves for the summer," Chelsea teased. That comment caught Edward's attention.

"No boys," he snapped as he turned to look at me for support. My poor older daughters had their hands full with their father when it came to boys.

Chelsea wasn't allowed to date until earlier in the year, and she was the shy one in our family. Jax, being the social butterfly she'd always been, had boys calling our house all the time, but Edward would only announce that his daughter was too young to talk to boys and hang up the phone.

I'd reminded him that she talked to them at school, but his response was that if that was the case, they didn't have anything they needed to talk about at night. It was a huge bone of contention around our house.

"Daddy, I'm going to be sixteen next winter, and I think I should be allowed to date. This isn't over," Jax snapped as she stormed off behind her older sister. Of course, our other three were laughing along with the grandfathers.

"Charlie, how'd you keep Bella from dating at that age?" Edward asked. I looked at Billy, and he and I both laughed. There was no keeping me from seeing Jacob when I was that age, and Billy knew it.

"Well, I made sure that there was a lock on her window that only allowed it to open about three inches…" Dad began. Mom started laughing hysterically, causing everyone to look at her.

"Charlie, I hate to tell you this, but Bella learned how to take that lock off that window about two weeks after she and Jacob actually started dating. You just didn't know they were dating because they were best friends and kept up the charade until you caught them making out on the school parking lot one night after one of Jacob's baseball games. You didn't keep her from doing anything," Mom announced. Dad's head whipped around, looking at me and then Billy, and we both nodded in confirmation.

"Shit," he sighed. Poor guy thought he'd controlled me. I truly hoped it didn't come out about all the nights that Jacob slept at our house that I didn't believe my parents knew about.

"Great. So, I should just put bars up outside the windows? Hell, Jax is really smart, and the other two coming up behind her aren't stupid either. I guess I don't really stand a chance, do I?" Edward asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Son, I think you lost the fight when you and Bella met. It's just taken you this long to figure it out. By the time Lex and Linds are of the dating age, Jax will have worn you down so much that they'll get away with murder. Masen is likely going to be a juvenile delinquent because you're so busy chasing your daughters around town to keep an eye on them," Carlisle teased. We all laughed, and made our way to the cars to go to the house for the party.

The sun eventually made an appearance just before sunset, and I noticed Edward took Chelsea outside talking on the back patio. I knew he wasn't looking forward to taking her to Chicago in August, but we knew that we couldn't keep them little forever, and we were supportive of her in every way she needed. I knew he'd need the rest of us when we got back from Chicago, and I planned to have a discussion with our other four children before we left so that they could maybe lay off him a little bit.

I saw him hug Chelsea and then turn to face the back yard when she came inside, drying her eyes. I excused myself from a conversation with Peter and Alice regarding an upcoming job that we had, and walked out to the back patio to check on him.

I snaked my arm around his waist and felt him startle, obviously not hearing me come outside. He looked down, and I could see the tear tracks on his face. I reached into the pocket of my dress and handed him a clean tissue. I'd only gone through an entire pack of them that day.

"Thanks, babe. When in the hell did they grow up on us? I feel like I just brought her home from Italy last week and here she is, getting ready to leave us. Hell, Jax wants to date, and the girls are going to be in fourth grade next year. It's all going by too quickly," he complained. I knew what he meant. It was something I'd thought about in the shower that morning.

"I know, honey, but we can't keep them babies forever. She'll come home for holidays and summers, and she's always going to be our daughter. We can go visit her as often as you want, and we'll adjust to it just like every other parent does," I reasoned.

"Yeah, well I don't have to like any of it. I was so proud of Jax today. She was really nervous, but she played beautifully. I've kinda talked to her about Julliard in New York because I think she could easily get in…don't say it. I know, it's in New York, but she so damn talented, it would be a waste for her not to nurture it," he answered. I'd heard him talking to her, and I knew that she was thinking about it, but we still had a few years before we had to worry about it.

"Honey, they're all going to grow up and leave us, but they'll always come back. We're their home, just like our parents were our homes when we were their ages, and it's the way life goes. Someday, Chelsea is going to have children of her own, as will the others, and then we'll have a whole house full of grandchildren. We have a wonderful life, honey, and you know it's going to change as time goes by, but at the end of the day, they're our children and we love them. Now, come back inside and be sociable. Staying out here by yourself isn't going to change anything," I suggested.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently, making me forget my own name yet again, and when we pulled apart, I turned to see our five children standing on the back steps watching us. "God, can't you two ever stop?" Masen complained just like always.

"Leave them alone. I think it's sweet that they still love each other so much and kiss. Think about our friends whose parents are divorced. I can guarantee you that they'd trade places with us in a heartbeat," Jax scolded.

We held our arms out for our five who came over to us and hugged us, and I knew that many people would trade places with any of the seven of us. We had the most wonderful label of all…a big happy family.

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_**Sniff…I hope I did it justice for you. As I said, I appreciate all of you, and I'm so happy you took the journey with me.**_

_**I have a few stories going…I know…what the hell? Yeah, well, I had a stockpile. So, on this site, there's "Doors & Windows & Faith" and "Trip of a Lifetime," which has been posted on other sites, but a few asked me to post it here, so I am. It updates daily, and I love the story. I also love DWF, and it posts on Tuesday and Friday. Also, on Twilighted, there's "Choices," but after other DWF finishes here, I'll probably post it because you folks have been quite lovely to me. I don't want to wear out my welcome, but maybe you have tolerance for another story?**_

_**I hope you'll follow me to other stories, because I actually have other's that are yet to see the light of day.**_

_**For the last time (for this story)…xoxo**_


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